Mid Summer Days

Mid Summer Days
gentle breezes, waving blossoms

Friday, July 31, 2015

The ocean expanse off the starboard bow; a quiet wake trickles astern.

Today's Tids Issue 3,393
Opening Stuff:

There is no Santa in August, or Brides of June so fair. No kids in crazy costumes, or Jesus rising again for all. It’s just a month that bridges the gap between saluting the good ole’ USA and the cooling, colorful rush of Autumn days. But there must be something good about August, Oh, we do have Victory over Japan Day and that was very good. So what else is there other than dusty fields and browning grass. Well English Admiral Howard van Effington defeated the Spanish Armada. That was big. Not so good was the first landing of Slaves in Jamestown Va in 1619. But really good is that Declaration of Independence was actually signed in August, not July. Wild Bill Hickock was shot in the back by Jack McCall. That’s sad. Some of my favorite people were born in August, like my Dad. He was sorta non-descript too, but good. Well August, I tried, but you just don’t have the heart of February, smiling eyes of Irish in March or the first day of each year in January. But, then who wants that. We could, though, build a little more excitement for William Franks who in August of 1934 twirled an Indian club overhead 17,280 times in 1 Hour. Well, that’s something. Sorry August.

Chances are that you will certainly be Tidless a day or two next week as I will be at sea sailing from RI up to someplace in Maine. But the trip will be inspirational, and could revitalize the tids when  I return. I will get you stuff when I can find Wi-Fi. Maybe I’ll get some pics of mammals leaping or the sun setting and rising across magnificent ocean swells. Enjoy your vacation from Tids.

The belt manufacturers must be going crazy as more and more men for some inexplicable reason are going with shirts hanging outside pants.

The Question:
Before Netflix and Hulu. Beefore DVR’s and VCR’s; before TV…there was radio. Yes, there was a vivid world before TV and Instagram. Radio was king and people sat attentively, using their imagination to create beautiful scenes as nighttime dramas unfolded and held the rapt attention of kids and adults alike. So for all of those who once had their ears pressed to old Philco’s, name five great night time radio shows.

The Headlines:
--World Will Have 11 Billion People by 2100; RI Expected To Sink.
--Beijing Chosen to Host 2022 Winter Olympics; First City Ever to Host Both Winter And Summer.
--Stocks Slumbering In Anticipation Of Lackluster August; Lower Labor Costs May Push Off Fed Rate Action.
--Hillary Deceptions On Emails Just Keep On Coming Out Into The Open.

Progressives like to talk their theories and ridicule their opposition, but it seems nobody wants to listen. At least they are not listening to the biased opinions on MSNBC which continues to wallow far below Fox news. The station announced today that it is going straight news all day and moving away from some of the more hysterical underperforming opiners. For instance Chuck Todd is replacing the Ed Schultz ( The Cycle and Alex Wagner also cancelled). News will be straighter with Brian Williams going up against Sheppard Smith at Fox. The big rumor is that often fired Olbermann will return. Maybe the MSNBC (Or as it now may be called – NBC News) potential audience just stands around with their hands out, instead of turning dials.

And if elected, I Donald Trump will give every American a ride in my very expensive Helicopter. Hey, we already have Helicopter politicians in NYC.

The local Warwick 11-12 girls softball team beat Delaware yesterday and earned a trip to the Little League Softball World Series in Oregon. If only our politicians were as good as our kids

New data on eating healthy tells us that you’ll ingest 200 more calories eating in restaurants versus home. So eating at home is good – your waist will be thinner and your wallet will be thicker. And interestingly, meals at fast food restaurants are far less in cholesterol than those at fine dining establishments.

As minimum wages go up, robots will get more jobs.

If you check headlines lately, illegal immigrants are always “alleged” to have committed gruesome crimes, but cops are always deemed murderers when death of a non-white occurs.

I’m seeing more girls and woman walking about in nice flowing dresses. And, it looks nice. So, I’m wondering if the man’s shirts hanging out phenomenon is actually just part of the transgender movement?

The Parking Lot: Chapter 7 Continues…
   Nancy waited about 3 or 4 minutes, then carefully, silently moved back down he r path. After a minute or so she her the deep voices and a few laughs from the odd couple, who were walking openly and slowly back to wherever they had a car. Maybe they were hoping she would be driving in.
   As she neared them, they became silent and she dropped to one knee. She could see their shiny city shoes about 25 yards away. There was no movement. They were listening. Did they hear me?
   Nancy heard muffled voices and then watched as the pairs of feet moved to either side of the driveway. she felt confident that the shrubs were thick and dense enough to keep her well hidden. Even in the cooling evening she now felt sweat under arms and on her temples. Some trickled into her eyes and stung a little. She blinked.
   Whack. Whack. She looked and saw Jovial guy slamming the shrubs with a large, heavy branch. Nancy lay down again on her belly and crawled to the opposite side of the path and into the shrubs on the other side. She was always concerned about icky stuff in that swampier side of the path. The whacking stopped as they probably satisfied that the road side was too dense for any person. But, what made them start in the first place.
   She was getting cold now as the dampness of the moist earth seeped into her clothing. But, what really made her shiver was the knowledge that her worries wasn’t paranoia, but real. And what about Jared? Was he part of her discovery?

Reading between the Lines Movie Reviews:
--The new Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation is getting rave  reviews. Can’t miss is the most often used exhortation. Cruise is running and diving and leaping for his life. The IM team left out in the cold must face The Syndicate; a highly skilled, resourceful and capable foe that wants to create a new world order through a series of devastating terrorist attacks. I’m going.
--The Vacation is a loser. It is an extension of the original minus a heart, charm and wit. Stay away.
--The End of Tthe Tour is getting great reviews from Critics, It is about the interview between Rolling Stone’s David Lipsky and acclaimed novelist David Foster Wallace – Infinite Jest. As the interview goes on the men develop a tenuous but intense relationship. It is a great look at attack and counter-attack and may be revealing hidden frailties. How truthful are they to each other? It was written after Wallace’s suicide.

The Answer:
There are hundreds of shows, but I’m not looking for Burns and Allen or Jack Benny or Baby Snooks Or Fred Allen or the Aldrich Family or Ozzie and Harriet. I’m looking for the mysteries and dramas like Inner Sanctum (Scared the hell outta me), Sam Spade, The Thin Man, Mr. Keen Tracer of Lost Persons, Mr. and Mrs. North, The Green Hornet, Counterspy, The FBI in Peace and War, Nick Carter, Mr. District Attorney, Suspense and True Detective Stories. Of course the night always began with the Lone Ranger at 7:30.

Just before this mess was sent a delightful reader reminded me of “Slow Food”. Remember that, eating comfortably at home, eating at a casual pace with no interruptions from instant messages et al, no crushing agenda, except maybe the Lone Ranger. “Slow Food”, I like that.

Just like August, slow and easy. So, maybe that is something!

Have a great weekend, E-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y!

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Let’s just dwell on love today.

Today's Tids Issue 3,392
Opening Stuff:

Think about how stupid the average stupid person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. – George Carlin.

This is one of those mornings when I awoke, had a cup of coffee and a little nourishment before sitting down in my favorite old wooden colonial chair and staring at a screen, thinking – there are no more Tids. I’ve used them all. They’re gone That’s kind of scary.

Somebody asked me why I still watch the struggling Red Sox. The answer is simple, I’m a fan. Fans suffer more than they exult, it’s just that the shouting is so loud that it drowns out the hours upon hours of despair. Fans don’t leave when a little trouble arises. Just as husbands and wives and lovers stick together when things get icky. So, I’ll stick by and complain, and grouse, and feel my stomach turn. I’ll offer solutions to management and, someday they’ll figure it out and the moment will be glorious, and my heart will leap, just as it does when somebody smiles at you again. Yup, loyalty is pretty cool.

The  Question:
Triple header Day:  1. What was the last US city to hold a summer Olympics?  2. Today marks the 50th anniversary of the beginning of one of the largest US government expenditures. What is it? 3. Name 3 Peter Bogdanovich movies.

The Headlines:
--Mighty P&G Wins On Profits But Reports Lower Sales And Muted Outlook; Market Could Stall; Futures Dipping Ahead Of GDP Report..
--Clinton Foundation Received Thousands From Swiss Bank UBS After SoS Hillary Intervened To Settle IRS Problem.
--Contempt Warning: Judge Threatens IRS Chief Over Release Of Learner Emails That Show Cover-up Of Targeting.
--Judge Halts Release Of Planned Parenthood Videos.
--Found Airplane Debris Could be MH370.
--Another Illegal Immigrant Ordered Freed By Feds Now Murder Suspect In Ohio.

Amnesty International wants to decriminalize prostitution worldwide. It turns out that even the Celebs aren’t that liberal as regular tag-a-along’s Merryl Streep Anne Hathaway and Kate Winslet and 400 more have finally said “No!” to another attack on moral standards.  And, certainly an attack on women victimized by the purveyors, purchaser and pimps in the $99 Billion global sex industry. A small, “Hooray for Hollywood”. Now if these same stars could just get their own producers to stop normalizing sexual promiscuity and irresponsible romps.

I started today with that Carlin “stupid” comment, because he also had another pretty relevant observation as we step gingerly towards a big election: “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.” Maybe stupid is the wrong word. Maybe uninformed is much better. Or perhaps misinformed hits it on the head. But, the splinterization of our society has allowed misconceptions to overrule rational thinking to the point where the good are left lying in the gutters, while the shallow are elevated to iconic status. It’s really like Mom used to tell us, “If your friends all walked off a cliff, would you follow them. Listen to your mother. Don’t be stupid.

How about that Microsoft and windows 10! The reviews are coming in and it looks like the Big Guy in the Northwest has a winner…that is, if anybody is still buying PC desktops and laptops. One woman, an Apple user, has been testing Windows 10 for several months now and is ready to go PC over the Apple product. I’m more productive and very comfortable in my Windows 10 world she says. So we may get a little bump in PC sales, but I expect the high points in sales will be declining over time as more people use smart phones and other devices for general internet use. But, it’s nice to see a giant figure it out, mainly by listening to the people. I’m about ready to buy a new machine, myself.

George Carlin wondered how teachers would handle “Deep Throat” in discussions about the fall of Nixon.

I wonder if Lois Learner received any emails form Hillary’s secret server. Is a secret server anything like a Secret Santa? It depends how large the foundations contributions are.

Here we go again – the media will go crazy now over the killing of the lion in Africa, but continues to not show an iota of curiosity about babies deaths and organ harvesting at Planned Parenthood.

To write that 22 of 23 taxpayer ObamaCare co-ops lost money, is kind of redundant in a country that is nearing $20 Trillion in national debt.

The Parking Lot: Chapter 7 continues…
   Nancy went to one knee and then prone. She looked beneath the tangled roots of the foliage and wild growth to see another odd looking character join Fatboy. They were actually laughing, and Nancy briefly smiled to herself wondering if she had left her underwear on the bedroom floor.
  The smile was short lived as the tension in her body returned. She watched the odd couple say something to each other and then turn and start scanning the wooded areas that surrounded her home down to the lake. She stopped breathing and tried to pretend she and been absorbed into the ground. Laughingboy was now looking right at her, and the look in his eyes was not one of humor but cruel. She stiffened. He took a step towards her hideaway. She had to let out breath, but was afraid it would make noise or stir up a leaves as she exhaled. Her lungs were now hurting so she had to sowly let air escape.
  The man turned away and continued scanning the area to her right. Now, Fatboy was lumbering across the small opening. His head on no neck moving  from side to side. Her breathing sounded like Niagara Falls to her, but she didn’t see any signs from the twosome of being revealed. She felt something crawling around he rankles. And she clenched her toes. The twosome continued to explore the perimeter.
  “C’mom Charlie. Nothing here.” Jovial guy turned and rejoined Fatboy. They started walking down the long driveway. Nancy didn’t remember seeing any cars when she turned in. She reached down to the back of her calf and wiped away something that was walking.

The Answer:
1. The last summer Olympics in The USA was in 1994 in Atlanta. 2. Yes, 50 years ago, budget busting Lyndon Johnson signed the bill that began Medicare and Medicaid. Yes Lyndon, that President who began the USA downward spiral. 3. Peter Bogdanovich first grabbed the critics hearts with His Last Picture Show. Other bigs for Boggy are What’s Up Doc, Paper Moon, They All Laughed, Daisy Miller (A flop), Mask.

See you all tomorrow!

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Let’s kick around another deflated football while the culture implodes.

Today's Tids Issue 3.391
Opening Stuff:

Let’s see, Carly Fiorina is both a woman and a business executive, which seems to mean that she possesses the characteristics of the two candidates who are getting voters excited – Hill and the Trumpeteer. She looks more presidential than Trump and is more credible that the Hill. I don’t know about you but I’m voting for Carley with Ben Carson or Scott Walker for VP. Or maybe, Marco Rubio.

Or, how about Ben Carson for President and Kelley Aiotte for VP. Yeah, that’s it. That’s how I’m going. There are just so many great options and we have so far to go. The Repubs just don’t know the riches they have.

This is the best season of the year. You know that season, when corn stalks are high and ears of that succulent vegetable are sweet and tender. For a little over a month, I’m a vegetarian, as long as there is some good meat or fish to go with that luxuries corn. “I’m in heaven, I’m in heaven, and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak, and I seem to find the happiness I seek, when buttery corn is running down my cheek…”

Will we get to that point when the weight of Hillary’s misdeeds will be to much even for the national media? That is the big question.

Of course, the big news since yesterday is the Brady affair. He pretty much proved when he tore apart Indy and beat a solid Seattle team using League inflated footballs that the ball does not make a difference with this great player and leader. But then, somewhere along the way, he decided to become Nixon. And now he looks real bad with weak excuses. Personally I can agree with not turning over a phone in this new world of sensationalized celebrity leaks, but his excuse was basically stupid. As one woman,  lawyer wag Kimberly Gilfoyle, said, “If I was him I would have said something like – There I was coming home from the stadium and when I walked upstairs I saw my beautiful wife naked in the tub. I got so excited that I jumped in forgetting that it would destroy my phone.” How could Goodell argue with that?

The Question:
Who are considered the worst of TV parents in shows over the years? Hint: Cosby was a good parent on TV)

The Headlines:
--Brady Blasts NFL In Rebuttal Speech; Says He And All Pats Personnel Are Completely Innocent; Adds That He And Lawyers Exhausted Every Avenue To Give Investigators What Was Available; Bob Kraft: “I Was Wrong To Put My Faith In the NFL.”
--Gold Prices Expected To Continue Downward Spiral; Market Opens Strong.
--Conservative Congressman Mark Meadows Files Motion To Oust Boehner.
--Overdose Deaths In America An Epidemic; More People Die from OD’s Each Year Than Car Crashes; Media Would Care More If It Were Dolphins Washed Up Upon the Shore.
--NYC Mayor Diblasio Says Poor Deserve Free WiFi; City To Spend Millions; Obama Orders Pell Grants For Prisoners.
--Top Afghan Taliban Head Mullah Omar Said To Have Died; reclusive Leader Shielded al-Qaida And Hid Bin Laden.
--Turkey Launches Heaviest Air Stirkes Against Kurds.
--Young And Educated Greeks Running For Borders As  Crisis Deepens.

If the voter blocs used their own eyes and ears and resisted seeing candidates through the jaundiced words of the media or the ridiculing barbs of comedians, then I believe they’d see some very sound sides of many entangled in the Republican pile. For instance, elitist wags love to pile on Perry, but this very successful Texas governor makes a lot of sense to me, especially when he talks about the importance of competition between states as vital to an energetic economy. The states that are dying are those dependent on representatives return tax dollars to sates He also points out the diversity fo these states and that this insane Common core idea where some bureaucrat buried in the bowels of Washington creates curriculums. Common Core – worst thing ever. I could vote for Perry.

Actually, I’m developing a new formula to aid voters. It’s called the M/CA Index, or Media/Comedian Attack Index. I am accumulating attack data from the activities of these two largest purveyors of misinformation. What we will find is that the candidates under attack the most are the best candidates of all. It’s not complicated – if the foe is scared of  a person they will tear them down with

The Tids Business department is also getting into the act with their own new forecasting index. Based on many months of research each year for 10 years it appears there is a correlation between the increase of crowding on golf courses and the imminent decline of the stock markets. So, while the market came through well during the often ominous July reporting season, the green, green fairways of of golfdom are bustling with way too many people. It is time to sell. 

I was walking by the door of The Tids Entertainment editors office and noticed him in there working out on various back breaking machines. Red faced and sweaty, he turned when I entered and said he is getting ready for the Annual Tids series of reports on America’s Got Talent, one of the more exciting Tids features for readers. They are paring down right now for Radio City, and it won’t be long till the best of the acts remain. Two of the more enjoyable that have passed through already are ventriloquist puppeteers Irv and Paul Zirdin. And the show seems better pverall, probably because they have somewhat muted the judges and Nick the host. Stay tuned, it will be exciting.

I met an Independent who says he is definitely not a Democrat and will vote for any candidate…who isn’t a Republican. Got it?

The Parking Lot: Chapter 7 continues…
  Since the discovery that launched extreme paranoia in this generally happy-go-lucky young woman, Nancy had become very cautious, maybe too cautious. Nancy turned the simple task of returning home into a chore. But, she knew the stakes were high, and a little extra time being careful would mean a lot of extra time on earth.
 About fifty yards down her quarter mile driveway, she turned into a what looked like a large shrub. She stopped, left the engine running and opened the door and stepped forward towards the big green bush. She yanked on a concealed handle, pulled, and the bush split apart and moved aside revealing a small road into a cave like space formed by large rhododendrons. She quickly drove the car into the safe space, came out, closed th bushes and then used branches to hide the tire tracks.
  On the other side of the rhodies there was a narrow path cutting through dense foliage. There was a bike leaning against a tree. She decided that today she might be better off walking. Her instincts for survival were maturing rapidly. Within minutes she arrived at a spot where she could see her home, but would be well hidden form any observes in the area. She stood quietly. It seemed like five minutes, but was only a moment when a large rather fat man came from behind her house. She moved back into the bushes and held her breath.

The Answer:
#11 is Red Foreman on That 70’s Show. The rest down to #1 are Hank Hill, Lois on Malcolm in the Middle, Frank and Mary Barone – Raymond, Rochelle – Everybody hates Chris, Evelyn Harper – 2 ½ Men, Don and Betty Draper – Mad Men, Peter $ Lois Griffen – Family Guy, Homer Simpson, Al and Peggy Bundy married with… and # 1 Jon and Kate Gosselin.

Anchors Aweigh, Department:
We sailed together and we fought the wars, and now we lay down with each other for eternity (This is moving from a reader from a good reader): http://www.youtube.com/embed/MgE2KiPd3xg?feature=player_detailpage