Is the Republican campaign an April fool’s joke?

Today's Tids Issue 3,564

Opening Stuff:

Doncha love April. It seems like such a gentle month. It begins with fools and a few laughs. It transforms drab into blossoms and leaves. The song says we get showers, but I never think of it that way. I think of it as a little girl with curly hair in a frilly dress exploring, skipping and screaming with happiness; finding the signs of new life. Her eyes widening and smile broadening as more and more birds in array of colors perform acrobatic tricks while chirping cheerful tunes. April becomes a blissful place as it cleanses the drear of winter, and greens the hillsides. It is a playful innocent month that just presents life simply, and hugs everything it can. Enjoy being caressed by April.

I have to say that I like the nick name of the Patriots new defensive lineman Terrance Knighton – “Pot Roast”. I’ll just be watching the games and thinking of gravy. I love football.

The mention of the words Ice Cream must titillate hearts, because it sure gets a response. I guess every sane reader keeps a bountiful supply nearby in Seward’s Icebox! I have to say that “Coffee” was mentioned the most, with superlatives for Trader Joe’s Coffee Blast and Newport Creamery Coffee and Chips. There were a couple of specialties among the many including “Dolce de Leche” and Homemade Orange Pineapple from the Sweet Spot in Point Judith.  Of course my heart goes out to vanilla lovers, casue you just can’t  get anything better than that rich pure and simple flavor.

This just in. A Moscow News Agency reports of new kind of Middle East in a news release describing a meeting in Tel Aviv between Netanyahu, Assad and Putin. The Israel PM says that his country has learned how to survive many different ways over the years even dramatically changing environments like today’s. The US State Department says no comment.

The Question:

Which Presidents had the best sense of humor?

The Headlines:

-- US Stocks Surprisingly Up After Ugly Futures And Europe Stocks Getting Socked; Us Labor Force Shows New, Strong Growth.

--New York And Cal Pass $15 Min Wage Laws (This is not an April Fool’s joke).

--Tornadoes Destroy Homes In Tear Through South.

--Bill Clinton Advises Hillary To Find A Back Up Plan That Could Include Her Supporting Sanders; Ex Prez Is Nervous About Intensity of FBI Probe.

--Tesla Ready To Unveil Model 3; $35,000 Electric Car Has range of 246 Miles..

--Donald Trump Women’s Campaign Falters After He Pledges Support of Bill Cosby; “He’s A Friend Of Mine” Says Candidate.

--China Now World’s Number 1 Beer Market.

--Kim Kardashian Fires Mother Chris Jenner; Billionaire Reality Star Says, “I used To Be A Nice Person before She Led Me Astray; Kanye Asks For Divorce, Saying He Doesn’t Like  Nice People.

So, one day a waitress came up to President Calvin Coolidge in a restaurant and said, “I bet a friend that I could get more than two words out of you.” He looked up and said, “You lose.”

I see where Gold has had its biggest quarterly giant since 1986. Could this be a negative omen for the stock market? Or, just an opportunity to buy gold low?

In case you didn’t know it, China says that April Fools gags are “no laughing matter and very un-Chinese.” The day celebrated in the west, “Does not conform with our nation’s cultural traditions, nor does it conform with the core values of socialism.” So, be careful if you are considering playing a trick on Bernie.

Actually, I’m always on the edge of my chair wondering what my oldest daughter has planned for me. 

There’s a lot of nostalgia movies, but more and more they cover eras that I consider just yesterday.

Did you see where the Supreme Court is going to rule on a Freedom of Speech issue after several states have banned the use of the “F”, “S” and “C” words in comedy routines? If the ban is upheld, it could be a boon for comedy writers.

The Parking Lot: Chapter 52 continues…

“That should keep him busy for a while. Now let’s see what you and I can do about tying Howland in this mess.”

   As in Us” Jared questioned.

   She looked around, I didn’t see any other us in this room.”

   They laughed, which they seem to be doing more and more. I talked to the young Howland kid who was scavenging my burnt out home. We might be able to work with him. He seemed scared and also afraid of his father or somebody in that group. And there is Fred.”

   “Fred may have recovered a bit, and he owes us. He is our best bet for nosing around.”

    “My guess is that Fred has been working with the Howlands all of this time,” said Nancy.

    Makes sense.”

    Hey, I always make sense, she came over and feigned choking him. “If this team is going to work, you have to listen to me carefully. Understand?”
    Jared reached behind her head and pushed it down to his lips, They both buried themselves in the feeling. “I love falling in love with you,” she murmured.

     

Reading Between the Lines Movie Reviews:

--Everybody Wants Some is great little comedy with super classic rock soundtrack. It’s a trip into nostalgia, following a successful college baseball team that plays hard on and off the field. Critics and audiences love it.

--Another very good film, and one on my list is Eye In The Sky Starring Helen Mirren. It is a powerfully acted rather cerebral look at a wartime political thriller. Mirren is a commander of a top secret drone operation. They are ready to pounce when a 9 year old girl enters the kill zone. Thus begins the personal, moral, political global argument.

--Audiences lime God’s Not Dead2 better than the critics. It’s about a High School teacher fighting for the right to discuss Jesus in the classroom.

  

The Answer:

For me, it was always JFK. He was unrehearsed and had a natural way of being Funny. According to a Presidential Historian Anthony Bergen, Andrew Jackson was probably the biggest prankster, once having invited two notorious prostitutes to a town Christmas Ball. Coolidge was known as silent Cal, but may have said some of the most dry, sarcastic things ever. Regan was ”Unrehearsed” funny, but Clinton who tried to be funny was often too rehearsed. Obama has good timing according to Bergen, and can be funny. Bergen and several others also say that Abe Lincoln may have been the funniest of them all. Nixon could not tell a joke at all (Sock it to me). And George Washington didn’t have the time for jokes (And his wooden teeth looked bad when he smiled.) James Polk had no interest in smiling. But, it is Benjamin Harrison, described as the “human iceberg” by Teddy R, who was considered far and away the least humorous. “Hey Ben, hold still while I light this match in your shoe.”

Calvin Coolidge used to love taking naps in the White House. Every time he woke up he asked, “Is the country still hear.” That’s a question a lot of us are asking these days.

So, which of the above Tids and News items are real or April Fools jokes?