Maybe the ostrich has it right.

Today's Tids Issue 3,578

Opening Stuff:

One of the things you see when traveling around the country is local news reports about state and local political operatives being led away in handcuffs. It’s refreshing to know that all of the graft, bribery and extortion doesn’t occur as it seems in my state alone.

Music can be beautiful and it certainly is stimulating and enjoyable for most of today’s world wide human race. But, when I’m absorbed in a perfectly silent natural wonderland, the turning on of a radio and the blaring of a song defines just how inadequate man’s creation is when compared to the sounds of nature. How intrusive. How disconcerting.

The Question:

Triple Header. Zowie! 1. What was the name of Howdy Doody’s brother? 2. Name three of Charlotte Bronte’s books. 3. What movie really launched the acting career of Andie McDowell? Bonus: Only one of the many multi-millionaire musicians has been able to earn over a Billion. Who is it?

Sorry folks! I had several notes about the missing “Night Manager” TV premiere last night (As recommended in yesterday’s Tids). It was actually on Tuesday night. One enterprising and creative reader found it repeated early this morn at 1AM and recorded it. It’s normal time is Tuesday at 10PM. Other showings in case you missed the opener for this mini-series are Thurs 1AM, Fri 4AM, 9:15 AM, Sunday 8:15 AM and Monday 4:05AM. Ladies, Gentlemen, Start your DVR’s!

The Headlines:

--Market Negative But Not Dead.

--Death Toll Rising After Blast At Mexican Oil Plant In SE Part Of Country; 13 Dead and Hundreds Injured.

--US And China United In Opposition To NK Nuke Tests.

--WWE Wrestler Chyna Dies At Young Age Of 45.

--Tesla Orders For Mark 3 Up To 400,000.

--Morning TV Viewers In State Of Shock After Michael Strahan Departure Announcement And Kelly Ripa Missing In Action; Obama Expected To Interrupt Golf Match To Comment..

--ESPN Fires Curt Shilling After He Passed Along TransGender Joke.

Locker room jousting was far better before Twitter and FaceBook. And safer.

No Wonder We’re Befuddled, Department:

Juxtaposed headiness: 1. Yesterday, a Philadelphia man driving a van carrying 315 pounds of marijuana through RI was stopped by state police on route 95. He could get life in prison! 2. In Portsmouth RI a policeman directing traffic in front of the local marijuana retail outlet said that the line to get in was around the stores and the there were probably 100 people in the store. It was part of the 4/20 celebration that somehow permits smoking a joint in public while others go to jail. Go figure. Confused yet?

Old people like to tell the young about the great things of the past. The youth typically don’t understand, believing that nothing could be better than what they have today. I’ll tell you one thing they have never experienced that is as good as it gets – real delicatessens. Before Boar’s head! And, Subway.

Favorite New punny joke of Newscasters: “Do you have change for a twenty?” “Yes, Harriet Tubman,”

I’ll probably stop using twenties in honor of Andrew Jackson. Actually, by the time this new twenty hits the streets in 2030 it will be worth about 50 cents and I won’t be able to afford them. Or money will all be electronic.

3 is kind of a magical number if you think about it. In decorating it is always best to work with three objects to create balance. And the same thinking goes for writing when it is desirable to seek out three instances to make a point. Of course, in life three’s a crowd, or it puts you out after three strikes. Actually, some in the new crowds, some prefer three.

Weather people are becoming more like politicians. They seem to be constantly inventing weather situations to scare us so they can appear more important. They’ve become just another branch of the nanny state. Actually the real problem is that just about anybody can find out the forecast by looking at their phones. Weather people just have turn blue skies cloudy to be relevant.

Porsche drivers really seem to abhor parking with the masses.

How uncreative and clichéd was Trump in his triumphant moment resorting to the tired “New York, New York” sung by Frank Sinatra.

Oh, I’m sorry. President Obama wasn’t playing Golf while Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan hid out. He was at the “Gulf” Cooperation Summit…probably wondering why he wasn’t playing golf.

I may give up golf. It is definitely becoming painful; ugly and depressing. Or, at least give up keeping score.

The Parking Lot Chapter 54 continues…

   “Law school?” The kid lost his cool at the old change the subject trick. Jared waited. He thought the kid was deciding whether or not to lie and say Harvard or tell him Roger Williams as it said on the plaque on the wall inside ten door. “Roger Williams. Great little school right here up the road.” He smiled proudly, probably meaning he made it through despite his academic shortcomings.

   “Good views of the bay, too,” Jared commented joining Zach’s turn to a lighter, friendlier mood. His father probably told him to be rigid and unemotional – “when you don’t know anything, son, let the other guy talk.”

  “The best” Zach answered. He paused a minute and tried to get back into his creepy skin, but he wanted to talk. Retense was over. He was interested. So you think something is happening here, he said with a smirky little smile.

  “We know things are happening here. It’s our business.” Now it was Jared’s turn to pause for effect. He thought, that was why negotiations always took so long,  -- the old silent trick. “We know there are miles and acres of open land up near the lakes in your northeastern parts of town. It is curious to us.” He was trying to drive the conversation to Nancy’s holdings. They sure look desirable to us. What’s the story? Are they in play? The boy/man’s face reddened a little.

   Jared thought he heard a sound outside the door. Then he kne he did when a loud footstep on the polished teak floors signaled somebody entering the office. Jared turned his head to see the dad walkig in.

   He immediately strode towards Jared, looking him over from head to his unpolished boat shoes as he neared, “Thomas Howland!” He reached out and Jared rose to shake his hand. It was sharp as the son’s. Must be in the genes.  

The Answer:

1. Howdy’s brother was named “Double Doody”, a twin. His sister was Heidi Doody and his melancholic Uncle as Moody Doody. His cousin from India was Howdah Doody and his poorly dressed cousin was Dowdy Doody. His mother the climatologist was Cloudy Doody. And, Doo Doo Doody was his infant brother! Had enough? 2. By far, Charlotte Bronte’s is best known for Jane Eyre. Her second book, Shirley, was written in the 3^rd Person. Her last published novel during her life was Villette. 3. Model Andie McDowell was first critically acclaimed in film as the mysterious woman in the tedious but popularly lauded movie “Sex. Lies and Videotape.” Her first film was Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes. Bonus: the top five richest in a list of 20 that also includes, Ringo and Bing, and Dolly, Celine, Gene Autry and Beyonce are #5 Bono, 4.  Diddy Combs, 3. Dr. Dre, 2. Paul McCartney and the lone Billionaire – Andre Lloyd Weber.

There are times during this cacophonous world of ours -- there are more and more times when I’d like to sit in the back of a dark and quiet closet.