Objectivity, where have you gone?

Today's Tids Issue 3,872

For Remembrance:

You can’t get away with nothing these days.

A thoughtful reader sent along this in response to yesterday’s Tids opener:

“Listen to my bluebird laugh

She can’t tell you why.

Deep within her heart, you see,

She knows only crying,

Just crying.”

--Buffalo Springfield

Last night was the big glitzy championship finals night for DWTS and The Voice. Dancin’ served up a platter of extravagant glitter before naming NFL player Rashad Jennings and pro partner Emma Slater the recipients of the big mirror ball. Over at The Voice, the music was good, but it all would have been better as an hour and a half show. The winner in what was called the closest match ever, was Chris Blue the entertainer over the country singer with the deep voice an perfect pitch Lauren Duski. He will do well. I believe as I look back that he captured the stage like few in the past. His duet last night with Usher was excellent. Lauren may do even better in Nashville, in the duel role of songwriter/singer, where the big bucks are made. Now what? Oh yeah, House of Cards is back to take us through the summer.

The Question:

Quick, name in order the nine planets I our solar system, starting with the planet closest to the sun.. Or, is it eight?

The Headlines:

--Trump Meets With His Influential Critic Pope Francis; Prez Says, “I won’t Forget What You Said”, A Previously Grim Pope, Appeared More Relaxed After Trump Meeting.

--Moody’s Downgrades China:

--Ryan: Budget Plan Is Right On Target.

--Trump Hires Litigator Marc Kasowitz As His Lawyer To Handle Independent Council.

--Media Watch: Main Stream Media Losing Interest In Russia-Trump Ties As Their Repeated Allegations Fall Short On Evidence – T8is According To Former WAPO Media Columnist Howard Kurtz..

--Admin Observers Warn Again About NK Threat; Keeping Agressor I Chcek A must Policy For US.

--GE Signs $1 Billion Gs Trubine f=Deal Wiath Saudi-Arabia.

Yesterday I wrote that this was the time to worry about fat asparagus. Little did I know that we had an asparagus expert as a Tids reader, and did he let me have it. “In the Spring,” he begins, the first shoots most tender shoots are the thickest. When cut, the plant sends out a second skinnier shoot, and when that has been cut, a third, really, really thin shoot emerges. Successive cuttings can injure the plant and bring it to near death, or God help us, termination. Basically, the successive cutting of plants is not only dangerous to the plant’s geneology, but it eventually produces thinner spears of little or no food value. Maybe we should bring skinny asparagus loving great chefs to trial on charges of aggravated assault. They are worse than those who slaughter animals, because they do it under the guise of happy helath. Did you ever hear an asparagus plant scream. It is terrible.

Tis a sad good-bye to the Ocean State Theater which abruptly closed its doors last night. Gone, just like tha. iT was the best venjew with every production just plain wonnderful. Money is a problem for small local theaters with Broadway ambitions.

Another reader sends me this observation from Marc Andressan: “Today’s carmakers are just like Nokia before it was crushed by Apple.”

I’ve said it often and I’ll repeat it – there are just too many car accidents of the kind where somebody doesn’t seem to be paying attention.

“What, no Cardinal!” That was a response I got from a rather intelligent reader about the list of top ten birds for your garden. I responded saying that a bird authority says that cardinals are sissies, wimps who always go into hiding when danger appears leaving others like the mighty chickadee to fight their battles. He responded, “See. Cardinals are not just a pretty face, they’re smart too!” So, there you have it – the beginning of the bird wars. Well, better than politics.

Remember when the abusive priest situation got out of control? What did Cardinal Law do? He hid and washed his hands of it.

Word of the day: Objectivity – Means lack of bias, judgment or prejudice. Synonyms: Fairness, Independence, Detachment, Neutrality, Impartiality. Getting much lately? BTW, there is no such thing as quasi-objectivity. It is or it isn’t.

Observers said the Trump looked uncomfortable before his meeting with Pope Francis, like a young catholic boy might have appeared just prior to confession.

Did you know that it is illegal to drive black cars in Denver on Sundays, against the law to dry cars in carwashes with used underwear in San Francisco, and it is absolutely forbidden to drive cars in Alabama while blindfolded. Isn’t nice to know our indomitable lawmaker are a hard at work.

There is also a Turkey-Bacon expert in Tidsville who tells me that the bacon comes from the wattle. Or is that the waddle. The gobble waddle.

You can always tell when the Prez goes off script by the sound of the collective national cringe.

The Answer:

Mercury is the best place to get an instant tan. Next is Venus, then Earth, Mars, the gigantic Jupiter, Saturn with it many rings, Uranus, Neptune. And Pluto (Maybe not say some). And then there is Number Nine, which is 20 times further out than Neptune, and which scientists have never seen! Say what…science without facts! Hmmm. BTW, I couldn’t do the question.

I’m outta here. Hopefully, you’ll get aTids tomorrow. But then….