Where have you gone Clem Kadiddlehopper?

Today's Tids Issue 3,908

For Kinder and Gentler:

Too often these days I wake up thinking I’m living in a country called Yikesville!

I read about something every day which could have a profound effect on our lives. And, I just shrug off what is exciting to the youth and the trendy– like driverless cars, internet rental schemes, meal deliveries. You know the drill, pushing the envelope concepts that intrigue culture and style columnists, but may be years before practical affordable acceptances by the masses. Personally, I’m just going to tuck myself into a little ball and roll along with the flow. When some futuristic prediction actually happens, we should just all figure out how to adapt, or ignore it as an annoying interruption to a happy life. Worrying about it before it happens would be a serious illness.

Red Skelton’s kinder and gentler, highly rated show was axed in the early 70’s because “a new wave of comedy relied on boundary pushing subjects…with a generous serving of swearing to entertain audiences”. Where has that gotten us today. I think we need to return to kinder and gentler. Maybe a little heartfelt comedy as opposed to the caustic angry kind, would bring people back to understanding each other, or at least trying to see the differences.

And then, there’s grave reality. What could be more contradictory than paradise and the A-Bomb? But that, as you may have heard, is exactly what we are seeing in Hawaii as Government officials are instituting emergency procedures and a warning system in the event of a launch by Kim. Sadly, attacking neighbors still is seen as a sign of manliness by a few who must need to reinforce their emptiness.

Short sellers are said to be pulling back from pessimism. Feeling a little more optimistic?

The Question:

Red Skelton certainly gave us one of the best hours of TV during late 50’s & the 60’s, It always brought a smile to your face and often a tingle that nipped your heart. Red was many characters. Name 5 of them, other than Clem.

The Headlines:

--Futures Down Awaiting Key Earnings Reports.

--10 Dead, 17 Seriously Critical After Being Found In Illegal Immigrant Smuggling Operation Trailer Truck; Texas Lt. Gov Blames It On Sanctuary Cities.

--Kushner releases Statement Ahead Of Closed Door Testimony –”(Russia) Meeting A Waste Of Time.”

--Apple Warns Of Cyberthreat That Could Wipe Out iPhones; Issues Fix

--Senators Expected To Vote This Week On Whether Or Not To Begin Healthcare debate.

--Tropical Storm Hillary To Become Hurricane; Tropical Storm Don Forms In Atlantic.

--White Shark Beats Phelps in Simulated Matchup; Shark Hit 25mph, Phelps 5-7.

--New Jersey fishermen In 90 Minute Battel Reel In 936 Pound Mako Shark; Could Be A record.

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This will be a good week regardless of what sensationalized stories the press issues about the White House. NFL rookies report on Monday, and the vets on Friday. Finally, the focus is on something achievable, another glorious football season. Within what will feel like nanoseconds, we will be through the meaningless exhibitions games and suddenly it will be beautiful September. And through all of that process, the arduous, angry reporting will have uncovered next to nothing, and congress will have done less. And, the good news, we won’t probably notice.

I am not temped in the slightest to buy a meal kit. Sorry, Blue Apron.

Words cannot describe the 20 plus minutes that Jordan Spieth took to pull-off one of the amazing plays in Open Golf history. It was a great championship for a very likeable champion over fan favorite Matt Kuchar, Kuchar actually did everything that a winner should do, but Spieth was even more magnificent. Perhaps the biggest winner in this super match was Spieth’s confidence. In the back of his mind you know he was seeing the Masters collapse all over again, and then one amazing play wiped the slate clean.

After that last shovelful of dirt, then what, Department:

Babe Pirelli died a few days ago. Babe was pretty good quarterback who lead the Boston and New England Patriots through their early, often tumultuous years. And he was very good. Yet he died, and it seemed as nobody cared. “Babe who,” was probably the only eulogy for this local hero, who made the team work during those growth years. But, that’s life I guess. You get born, you do something well. You die. And you hope that you’ve created a few relationships with people who loved you along the way. Because after your three free obits in the local newspaper, you’re gone. I think I’m going to start being nicer to people; gentler and kinder.

I still remember you, Babe.

Mahler scares people. But, there are few melodies more beautiful than the 4th movement of his five movement Fifth Symphony.

Why are so many animals named after cars?

As far as I’m concerned, Stouffers still makes the best meal kits.

My guess is that the new Communications Director and his press secretary will push achievements of the admin only, and minimize answers to questions with no answers, or about the president’s contradictory tweets. But, it won’t stop. For the most part the media totally dislikes the president, and they still can’t get over the fact that their champion who they blindly supported, lost.

Social media does two things: It makes people do something stupid (Even Dangerous); It turns non-events into national happenings.

David Axelrod, Obama’s resident political genius, excoriated the NY Times yesterday for its smug, nasty editorial about Sean Spencer. He wasn’t necessarily supporting Spencer, but perhaps looking for that kinder and gentler America again.

The Answer:

Freddie the Freeloader in today’s society would have been appropriated by homeless advocates. Gertrude and Heathcliff were two seagulls who were every definitely almost human, and smarter. They would be protected by PETA. Sherriff Deadeye was a not too honest lawman, and today would e the target of BLM. Cauliflower McPugg was an ex-boxer who heard bells and made friends with invisible birds, and he would have joined a concussion lawsuit. George Appleby was a seriously henpecked husband who now would have his wife arrested for spousal abuse. NOW would complain. San Fernando Red was a crooked Politician, the subject of a WAPO investigation. Willie Lump Lump was the constant drunk who would have a successful TV Reality show. Junior, the mean Little kid who always said “I Dood it”, would sue Red for revealing the name of an underaged criminal. Bolivar Shagnasty was a loudmouthed braggart, and we all know where he is today. Yet, in those days they all were part of a storyline that revealed something positive. How refreshing.

I think we are creating a lot of more stuff for the benefit of an easier life became we know how to create more stuff for the benefit of an easier life, regardless of whether or not it actually does benefit an easier life.

I’m just rollin’.

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