What ever happened to pure escapism?

Today's Tids Issue 3,943

For Getting Lost in a Game:

The only thing that matters today is the opening of the NFL season, starring the NE Pats and KC Chiefs. The Patriots and Indian chiefs -- Talk about fodder for political correctionists! However, any professional protestors looking for national TV disruption will be drowned out by Pats fans wearing “Roger the Clown” T-Shirts, jeering the commissioner in attendance for the first time since you-know-what. Go Pats.

The way CBS has been reporting as news the soon-to-be-released Hill Book, I think they should get a cut of the profits from the Clinton household. What do you think are the chances of that happening? How thin is the fabric of The CBS deceit?

The constant marauding of helpless small islands by Irma at consistently super high winds has some scientists asking if it is not time to consider a Cat 6 hurricane designation. Other scientists say that would be irrelevant as “no building can withstand a155 mph wind” pummeling. The meteorologist crowd may, however, rethink other aspects that affect killer qualifications of a hurricane other than pure force of wind.

The Question:

Name all of the Knights of King Arthur’s round table and the fair maidens whom they loved.

The Headlines:

--Caribbean Battered; At least Ten Dead, One Million Without Power; Florida Awaits Its Fate.

--Repubs Stunned By Trump Debt Deal With Dems; Trump And Ryan Plan Dinner; Mnuchin Says Deal With Dems Opens Door To Tax Reform; Ryan Tells NYT;s 15% May Not Work..

--Israel Airforce Strikes Syrian Research Center Said To Be Integral In Chemical Weapons Development; UN Says Syria Behind Sarin Gas Attack At Kahn Shiekhun In April.

--In Latest Campaign Stop, Merkel Gets Pelted With Tomatoes.

--Markets Hanging In There Around The Zero line; Harvey Pushes US New Jobless Claims To Two Year High.; Lilly And Lego To Cut Jobs

--Manson Acolyte Leslie Van Houten Granted Parole; Van Houten Admits To Stabbing Rosemary LaBianca 12 Times; Jerry Brown Has Power To Revoke Parole As He Did In Previous Ruling.

Well sports fans, it’s that time of year again when you think you know everything about your favorite team and its competitors, but you know so little. It’s the time when upstarts look smart and favorites stumble. New champs are prematurely crowned by an eager press. But despite inherent dangers within a new season, the intrepid Tids Sports Department always sucks it up and puts its head on the chopping block. Ouch! The first game tonight is between two good teams coached by good friends, Belichick and Reid. I worry about the Pats defense and who knows how smoothly an offense with may new faces (And no Edelman) is running. But Gronk is back, and I have to stay with my team in a close one. Raiders-Titans looks a great game as does Dallas and NYG. Jags-Texas could be close as could Redskins-Eagles. Seahawks and Packers looks like another poser as does Chargers-Broncos. Of those, I’m going with Home Teams Titans, Redskins, Packers, and Broncos (Even though their QB situation is murky, their “D” is very good.) Giants and Dallas should be a war, but the Cowboys are playing at home and Ezekiel wants to show the league what it will be missing! Of the rest, I pick te QB-Less Bills to fumble past the QB-less Jets, Texans will lasso Jags, Lions will devour Cardinals, Steelers will be riveting in victory over Browns, Falcons soaring above the hungry Bears, Rams butting Colts, Panthers mauling Niners and godless Vikings dismissing Saints. And the Ravens say to Bengals, nevermore. So, there you have it, 16-0 for the opening round of Tids sports picks. Yeah, sure. Note, The Dolphins will be swimming away from Irma, as the Bucs set sail in their corsairs to escape the wrath of a windy angry wench. Had enough?

I was sorry to see that outstanding Gospel Choir get nixed in AGT result show. They were outstanding, and very entertaining. I guess audiences just don’t like choirs.

The news report says that billionaire Richard Branson rode out Irma in his wine cellar. You have to figure there came a time when he was oblivious to all the ruckus outside, as he opened yet another bottle of $300 wine. Hurricane? What hurricane?

The more I hear excerpts from the chilling Hillary excuse compendium, the more I think Hillary is delusional.

Little irks me more than the inability of so-called smart people to be clear about the differences between legal and illegal immigration. Their ideological inability to explain the situation in terms of truth just leads me to not believe anything they say about dreamers, and the schemers who lured them here in the first place. I was reminded of my constant irritation last night in an interview on CBS where  the disingenuous President of the University of Maryland sat stoically looking out though condescending eyes after an illogical barely coherent rage against Daca changes, and said, “After all, I am an Immigrant”. Yeah right, and you are legal and nobody holds it against you. So, cut the BS and get honest, and maybe we’ll come together and solve this problem. I used to be a nice, giving person until I was forced to witness acceptance the dishonesty by good people.

They are saying that Apple needs iPhone 8 “To solve a gigantic Financial headache.” But, the pre-release info is saying that the starting price for the new phone will be $1000! That seems to be a price point that may make all but feverish early adopters a little hesitant about upgrading. What could be more interesting is the pricing structure of new Android phones, or perhaps even Microsoft. $1k seems a little over the top to me, and I will surely be looking for deals if I ever decide to replace my semi aging phone. Could the i8 hurt the growth of Apple? Something to keep track of. “Dad, I need really need to have the new iPhone 8.” “Are you out of your eff-ing adolescent mind”. The daughter reports dad to the authorities for mental abuse and dad goes to jail. Mom has to sell the house, to afford today’s necessities, which includes a new phone for the daughter. Apple could be the cause of the breaking up of families.

Good news on the North Korean Front. Dennis Rodman has offered to go there and put out the fires. He says he can bring back peace. Feeling better? I guess laughing Dennis is better than a nuke in the neighborhood.

Catalonia is making a lot of noise again about separating from Spain. “We are just too different to exist together,” they say. Up in England, some notable celebs like Michael Caine are opening up about Brexit saying that England is better off not being “Controlled by European Union Bureaucrats” (Eurocrats).I think what a lot of people would like is tight sovereign borders with liberal paths to global trade. We need to be careful of all or nothing nationalism that leaves little room for sensible flexibility.

The talking beneath the surface is that Democrat leaders are dreading the prospects of a Hillary book tour. 

The Answer:

There are estimates of from 12 to 150 knights who passed the Chivalry Rules test and sat at the King Arthur Round Table. Most historians say the real number was about 25. The most commonly mentioned were Sir’s Lancelot, Gawain, Geraint, Percival, Bors the Younger, Lamorak, Kay, Garthe, Bedivere, Gaheris, Galahad and Tristan. The women are harder to find. Guinevere is the most well-known. Others are Blanchefleur, Brangaine, Caelia, Dindrane and then Elaine’s of Astolet, Benoic, Corbenic, Gariot, Listenoise. Others are Elaine the Peerless, Enide, Evaine, Geuinevac, Igraine, Iseults of Ireland and of White Hands, Lunete, Lynette, Lyonesse, Morgan le Fay, Morgause, Orgeluse and Lady Ragnell, Did you know that Sir Galahad was the illegitimate son of Elaine of Corbenic and Sir Lancelot? Of course I almost left out Merlin, the wizard, who knew all the secrets.

One of the reasons I sleep pretty well every night is that I have always been able to turn off the noise. That generally occurs right after I pass along my angst to you in the Tids. Thanks for listening. It’s very therapeutic! And cheaper than your local analyst.

Spell-Check has no clue about the names in Today’s Answer. So, I’m off the hook. Maybe I should write this mess in old English.

Go Pats!