I-l-l-e-g-a-l.

Today's Tids Issue 4,041

For Sensibility:

The markets are moving forward on solid earnings performances. This is always the best way to go, and it tends to reduce fears about an explosive market based on emotion alone.

Girls jump into expensive makeup way too early their young lives. I don’t get it.

“Reintarnation”: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Why do so many people have trouble coming to terms with the very clear explanation for the word illegal. Why do so many insist on not considering unlawful entry to the United States a crime. I only interrupt this Tids because every time I hear an immigration proponent side step the legal issue I cringe. And I have to release my frustration. And you’re it! Sorry. Onward.

In case to you missed it, the five Dow stocks which lead the way in the current red-hot rally are Merck, Bowing, IBM, Caterpillar and Cisco. These five have made up over half of the Dow gains as the index continues to set records.

Oops! Tom Brady hurt his throwing hand yesterday. Where are my Tums, dammit!

The Question:

English explorer James Cook discovered what he called the Sandwich Islands. What are they called today? Bonus: Who was Albert DeSalvio?

The Headlines:

--Congress Reaching Deadline In Budget Showdown.

--US Jobless Claims Fall To 45 Year Low; Morgan Stanley Results Has WS Looking Upward At Opening.

--Amazon Cuts 258 Headquarters Sweepstakes Entries To 20; RI Misses Cut.

--US Home Construction Tumbles In December.

--Kelly Says Trump Not Fully Informed On The Wall As Candidate; Trump Says He Was.

--India Successfully Fires Nuclear Capable ICBM – Agni-V.

--Trump Releases Jaundiced News Awards; NYT’s Paul Krugman Tops List For Saying Markets Will Crash When Trump Is Elected.

--Apple To Pay $2,500 Bonuses To Employees After Tax Reform.

--Trump Admin Bars Low-Skilled Haitians From Visas.

The experimental Nissan B2V car reads the minds of drivers. I think we all are in trouble. Actually, my wife already does that.

As a result of the tax law, Apple will have to pay $38 Billion. But, with that payment they can bring back to the USA about 94% of their available cash trapped in foreign markets. That’s about $250 Billion. They say they will pour back into capital and business investment here. It seems as though the tax plan is working.

Another overused, over-exaggeration phrase that has to go: “Racially Charged”.

Unlike the national news media, the Tids has trouble getting off the block when there is no real news, or any thing truly new and funny to talk about.  

It’s better to walk alone than with a crowd in the wrong direction.

Do you have the sense that Kelly could be tiring of excusing the President?

“Bozone”: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the future.

Oops, that sounds like a stupidity charged remark to me. I hope it wasn’t secretly recorded.

Aren’t all nuke powered nations pretty much equal when it comes to threats and retaliation? The basic concept of nukes is to wipe out millions of innocents to rid the word of one to ten evil leaders.

The Answer:

The islands which Cook discovered and named The Sandwich Islands are now called Hawaii.  Bonus: Albert DeSalvio was one of the first ever celebrity mass murderers – “The Boston Strangler”.

Have to run today. Sorry for the thinnish Tids.