Layng quietly in fields

Layng quietly in fields
Glstening lights

Friday, June 1, 2018

Why am I not laughing?


Today's Tids Issue 4,141
Fighting for Funny Bones:

I can’t believe it is June, June, June! It seems as though it was only yesterday that I was walking through slush. Now on this glorious first of June, I’m meandering through fog. But, that’s ok, because June is so much grander than a simple misty morning. It is just a special month where many great people are born and many other get married so more new babies can enjoy the bounties of our good earth. (Oh, it doesn’t work that way anymore?) June is special to me. I like the way it rhymes with moon and swoon and red balloon. It’s crazy like a loon and funny like a baboon. So, the first day can never come too soon. I’ll croon you a love tune as soon as I finish my juice named prune. Love the month that still is cool, and always gives romance a chance. And laugh and romp like the kids getting out of school.

Remember when comedians went for the funny bone? Now they focus on the bile duct, and they are angrier than ever. Apologists, call it edginess. I call it rude, uncivil, vulgar. Comedians once pulled off insult commentary humor with a twinkle in their eyes, But, now you only sense the vitriol in their hearts. And when the damage is done, one or another ideological backer rides in to rescue a flagging career. And… each outrageous occasion always ends with: “(Fill in the comic’s name) says that what I said was inappropriate and inexcusable and I crossed the Line”. Yeah, right.

Happy National Donut Day, Everybody! You tell me your favorite, and I’ll tell you mine -- crunchy old fashion fresh form the fryer, best exemplified by Allies Donuts in North Kingstown. The day Allie’s closes will be the day RI will lose its soul, again. But in the meantime, forget the anger, and munch on a donut.

Did you hear about the tornado chaser wo got carried away by his work?

The Question:
I am not in favor of banning anything, especially the ever-convenient plastic bag. But, lots of Americans spend their nights dreaming of banning stuff which mainly helps out dolts. What are the top ten things the banning anarchists want to do away with.

The Headlines:
--President Trump Pre-empts Official Release Of May New Jobs Report; New Jobs Up To 228K and Unemployment Down to 3.8%; Job Turnover Lower, Stagnating Wages; Fed Perplexed About Rate Action; Strong Jobs Produces Stock rally.
--Kim Jong Un meets With Russia Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov.
--Political Operatives Worried About California Unorthodox “Top Two” primary; Dems or Repubs Could Be locked Out Of General Elections; California Mess Could Impede Dems Rush To House Takeover In November.
--Morgan Stanley Chief Says Soros Hysteria Over Potential Market Disaster Is BS.
--Boeing Workers Vote To Unionize South Carolina Plant.
--Trump Using Tariff Strategy To Hopefully Produce Fair Trade; China Says It Is All For Free Trade; Canada’s Trudeau Says They Were Almost There With New NAFTA Agreement Until Pence Called With One More Demand.
--Tech World Awaits June 4 Apple Worldwide Developers Conference.
--Australia To Prosecute ANZ, Deutsche Banka And Citigroup On Criminal Cartel Charges.
--Facebook Drops To Number Three In Teen Popularity Ratings; Instagram And SnapChat Are New Favorites Of Next Generation.
--Kansas Governor Candidate Picks Wife As Running Mate.

Today begins “Hands Free Device Day” for RI Drivers. It’s an attempt to get divers to unhinge from their phones while driving, which to me is a very good idea. I wonder if that law applies to shaving while driving? If it does, I’m going to be late for a lot of appointments.

I have been hooked on The Americans since its first episode. After six tense seasons, I was nervously looking forward to Wednesday night’s final episode. My stomach was rolling from the opening scene as the communist family began reacting to learning they were now all of a sudden known to the FBI and had to get out of Dodge. How would it end? How would justice be served? After all, they were devoted Russians spying on the US during the Reagan years. They would have to meet their ignominious destiny, wouldn’t they? I won’ tell you the ending lest you are anticipating the final yourself. Let’s just say, it was tragic, and well written and executed by writers Joe Weisburg and Joel Fields and director Chris Long. And, of course the actors Kerri Russell and Mathew Reis (Who fell in love during the show and married) were as excellent as they have been for 6 years. Emmys? Holly Taylor who grew beautifully in her role as the daughter, was key in the last moments. Noah Emmerich was always perfect as the tormented FBI agent neighbor, and he also rose to the occasion. Loved it.

Well, I could have written for days about this show and how it ended, but I will get outta here with this line that came near the end: “We may have met on a bus in Moscow.” It said a lot to me. But then, I’m just an old romantic at heart.

Several years ago, I was coaxed into watching a TV show called Full Fontal. I bowed out within minutes after listening bad humor from an angry bitter woman. So, if Samantha Bee gets fired, I won’t be crying at all.

One of the problems with today’s angry humor is that audiences laugh at it.

Blago?

Just In case you like looking at Apple developments the tech crowd is anticipating new apple info on Digital Health (Counteracting designed in smart phone addiction), ARkit (Augmented Reality, computer generated senses that enhance real images) and expanded NFC (New Payment options already available with Android) and better parental controls. Get used to this new buzz tech, cause your younger friends will be into it.

I’m thinking that augmented reality will be better than demented reality.

Reading Between the Lines Movie Reviews:
--It seems like I have been watching trailers for Adrift since last December, but it finally arrived and it isn’t too bad. It is based on a true story and extremely well executed, believable. Shailene Woodley is the strong woman who saves the day after the sailboat s destroyed during a once in a century hurricane, and Sam Claflin plays his role well as the only man she ever loved. It is moving and terrifying, a story of human resilience.
--I think Upgrade could be on my “see” list. During a mugging in which his wife is killed, a man finds himself paralyzed. In an effort to get out of a wheelchair, he agrees to enter a trial experience of a billionaire inventor, which if it works would give him back his body and the chance for revenge.
--Breath Is A petty good coming of age movie form Australia. Two boys come under the influence of a mysterious  older surfer who has a profound influence on their lives.

The Answer:
Remember, if it is on this list you may feel pressure in the not too distant future to give up something you find helpful. Number one is plastic bags. #2 is single serving coffee pods. Getting nervous yet? #3 is disposable straws followed by Single Use Beauty Products, Disposable Coffee Cups, Single Serving Condiments, Disposable Food Containers, Disposable Razors, Disposable Dinnerware and Cutlery and #10  Single Use Cooking Pans. Some others are single use Batteries,  Laundry Capsules, Air Freshener Plug-ins, Coffee Filters, Disposable Diapers, Cupcake Wrappers. Plastic Toothbrushes, Paper Towels, Tampons and Condoms.  Well, you get the picture. There are social nihilists out there that won’t stop working until every conceivable convenience is gone. But, people who, litter will continue to find something to throw on your front lawn or into the nearest body of water.


The great TV show “The Americans” is over, but the music lives on…



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