When bad is good.

 

Today's Tids Issue 5,869 

And puffy clouds too: 

 

Why do some days feel like bluebirds are singing. 

 

The new inflation number is making me blue. The Street wanted it to be better and they are trying to make it look that way by readjusting the way it is reported. And while it is a number which can move many needless, it is of course that number that doesn't include food an energy, two of the biggest intrinsic household costs. So unbelievably the markets are crazyily rampaging on the upside. Yeah the inflation number rose the most in 6 months but July didn’t rise as much as analysts thought. So on WS, negative reality can be dampened by dreams. The reasoning it says here is that teh d bad is kindof good ina weird way. But the reality of the report is that the new numbers tell us that the rising goods inflation is no longer being offset by easing service inflation. So to me that looks like bad news but no body wanted it. Does this Tidlet sound confusing? Wall Street can do that to you. 

 

Maybe they’ll postpone China tariffs forever. China has their own agenda and their own resources and they will stick with thier own plan. You can talk of blue sky and the big rock candy mountain, but that ls just the way it is. China is China.  

 

The Question: 

Who are considered the funniest deadpan comedians of all time? 

 

The Headlines: 

--Markets Zoom Upwards Despite High Inflatin Numbers.  

--White House says Trump/Putin Alsaka Meet will be “Listening Exercise”, Lowering expectations; WH Says Trump Will Talk with Zelensky before Alaska Meet. 

--Israel Bombs Gaza City. 

--Taylor Swift Announces New Album on Boyfriend Kelce’s Podcast.  

 

One of those odd contradictions of life is feeling like you have excellent health when you know there are so many tings wrong with you. 

 

In case you hadn’t noticed, the deal that would have NVidia and AMD pay the US Government 15% of their revenue is against the basic principles of Free Enterprise Capitalism. It “Blurs the lines between free management and government control.” It intrudes on te private operation of businesses, private ownership of production and negates the basic American idea of limited government interference (Except for necessary regulations). And the biggest danger is that it sets a precedent. And you know what lawyers and politicians can do with precedents, 

 

“I signed up for my company's 401K but I don't think I can run that far.”  --Norm MacDonald.  

 

Crime in cities is a big serious issue but federal government takeover of cities would be a bigger issue. 

 

Do you get the feeling that Musk is mad at just about everybody these days? 

 

My Roomba has lost its sense of direction It is quite sad watching it stumble along trying to find the home dock. I think it has been cleaning out the liquor cabinet. Can you issue a DWI, Dusting while Intoxicated. Its sad to watch. It also starts by itself. It’s psychiatrist says it may be nervous about not finishing the entire room the day before So, guilt is a good sign. I guess over time we’ll be developing feelings for AI too. And some day it may care. If it lets us. 

 

Norm McDonald says his psychiatrist told him he gambles to escape the reality of life and Norm told him that’s why everyone does everything.” 

 

Two players who should be solid in the top 30 going into FedEx BMW Championship this week will be fighting for their lives. That's #3 in the World Xander Schauffler and last years Champ Victor Hovland. Hovland has a good chance to be at East Lake, but  Xander has to climb from 43 to get there. Two to watch. Rory willbe bakctis week. Will he be rusty or rested? 

 

If I was totally helpless, I might ask Microsoft’s (AI) co-pilot to intrude into my life. But so far I prefer stumbling on my own. 

 

People like RFK Jr. Shouldn't be in charge of anything.  

 

I'm expecting that in the not too distant future that tourist hotspots will be the places not to go. 

 

North Koreans are saying that Russia is using them as slave labor. It doesn't seem surprising that Kim would sell his people to fund his nuclear ambitions. But the big question is how does a NK slave in Russai find a way to speak to the media? What's the old North Korea joke... “I asked my NK pen pal what it was like living in North Korea. He wrote back, 'I can’t complain.” 

 

The Answer: 

 Number one is Norm Mcdonald. 2 and 4 are two of my favorites often quoted here, Steven Wright and Mitch Hedberg. Bob Newhart is number 3. #5 is Nick Offerman followed by Audey Plaza, Anthony Jeselnik, Johnny Carson, Jimmy Carr and at #10 Zach Galifianakas. Good Ole’ Buster Keaton was #11.A favorite of mine  Jim Gaffigan was 15 followed by Chevy Chase at 16. I also enjoyed number 22 Jane Curtain.. 

 

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It’s almost never for them.” --Norm McDonald. 

 

Maybe tomorrow I’ll do Jim Gaffigan jokes. Maybe it will get him higher on the list.