A funny thing happened on the way to the Coliseum.

Today's Tids Issue 2,780
Opening Stuff:

"MI raccontava una barzelletta sul politici rubare e nessuno rise. Era vero." Are you laughing yet? Well, one of the biggest jokes around these days is the Italian political situation. The opening of this Tid is one of Comedian Candidate Beppe Grillo's jokes, one that got him into deep trouble, banned from TV. Deep trouble that inspired him to run for the Italian Prime Minister on the platform "Gettare tutti i brucia fuori" -- "Throw all the bums out". Of course, everybody was laughing at such an idea -- Berlusconi, Anti Bunga-Bunga candidate Bersani and the Communist party. Now the world is laughing at Italian politicians. "Beppi Boom", as the campaign became known, generated 1/3 of the votes for Grillo, throwing the Italian Government into disarray. Hilarious, gut busting total confusion. Italy is leaderless with little hope of consolidating the factions into a governable majority. After the election, sentiment for throwing them all out is getting even stronger, just as Giuseppi Piero "Beppi" Grillo says. Oh yeah, the joke that got him tossed of the tube: "I was telling a joke about this politician* stealing and nobody laughed. It was true." *(Socialist Bellino Craxi)

The thing that scares me most about the future of the world is this irrational trend towards pureed vegetables.

For all those who have missed the beginning of the TV show The Americans on Fx, there will be an "Americans Marathon" starting this Friday. Check your local listings.

The Question:
Travel&Leisure has announced the Best US Steakhouses. What do oyu think they are?

The Headlines:
--Bob Woodward Says White House Threatened Him Ahead Of Report Criticizing Obama Statements; Officials Rankled Over Slams Against WH Narrative On Sequestration; "You will Regret Doing This," He Was Told.
--Lew Approved As Treasury Chief; Senate Panel Delays CIA Nominee Bennen Conformation.
--US Gov To Give $40 Million In Food, Medical Aid To Syrian Rebels.
--Army Private In WikiLeaks Case Pleads Not Guilty.
--Another Car Bomb In Iraq Kills 11.
--Italian President Giorgio Napolitano Says Old Governemtn Still In Place; Says Don't Panic Over Current Gridlock.
--CEO Cook Promises New Exciting Announcements From Apple; Stock Declines; Observers Say Wristwatch, TV Could Be New Products.
--JC Penny On Last Legs After Worst Year In History; Turn-Around Strategy Eating Company Alive.

A stock market observer says that the count down for a market correction has started as the lemmings pile on stocks at the peak. Take it for what it is worth. But, it does seem to be a good cautioning advisory. The market is approaching the 2000/01, 2007/08 and 2011 peaks that all produced "Cliffs" we really can't live with.. The Greedometer is flashing, slow down.

Pat on Back, Department:
The Tids Short Story Editor was selected as a winner in the "Newport Life Magazine Annual Writer's Contest. The story, printed in the March-April Issue, is about a hard-bitten, professional commercial fisherman who finds, surprisingly, comfort away from home in a small restaurant.

I have always been a little perplexed by the phrase, "Rules of War."

The rise of Cyber Threats has generated a like rise in US Government agencies trying to do something about it. In fact, there are already about 8 full fledged operations hiring the brightest geeks available, from the Defense Department to Homeland Security to the FBI and CIA. And probably the Agricultural Department too. Guess what? Comon', you can guess. It's easy. It's what many big Government agencies do  -- avoid communicating with each other. Think about how much money could be saved and how many solutions to problems could be created if Government agencies actually shared information. The anti Cyber Ops are brand new, and already they have fallen into the big Government trap -- protect "your" territory at all costs.

Mayor Bloomberg of NYC is the symbol of where the USA does not want to go. Fortunately the real intelligent people of the US reside in the broad expanse between the coasts.

Then there is Michelle Obama talking about overweight kids again. I mean, the First Lady is probably a pretty nice person. And, I think she could do a lot, maybe even foster Mother Teresa type inspiration walking amongst the poorer of our communities preaching responsibility, learning. Teaching about basics of living smartly, which in turn would surely achieve her goal or better nutrition, and I suspect a  whole lot more. It's that whole lot more that could improve families going forward, reduce random crime and killing. She really could do it. She couold be the star in the White House. I actually believe that.

If you have studied Cheetos like I have, you know that bags bought in different stores can taste quite a bit different. It really is quite discouraging when plopping down in soft couch cushions with new bag, deliriously looking forward to that special crunch an unique tangy taste -- and then finding you bought the bag at the wrong store. God, I hate that.

Why am I more often than not disappointed by the highly touted Hollywood's best movies. Maybe if I watched them before the Hoopla, I wouldn't be as disappointed. Or, maybe I'm just a strange duck.

Maybe if we fell off a cliff once, we wouldn't have to go through the histrionics for every damn approaching decision. Maybe the Prez and congress would just do it quietly. Maybe they would just do their jobs. Or, has the process of government become so dominated by Publicists that it is practically inable to govern. Impossible for a strong leader ot stand up unfettered by handlers. Where's Beppi Grillo when you need him.

Wait til Stephen Colbert sees the Italian comedy show. Colbert against Hilary. Yikes!

The Conscience: Chapter 15 continues.
  After a good phone conversation with Evvy, she seemed proud of my progress, I grabbed a couple of nips from my favorite hotel room amenity and headed down stairs for breakfast, which turned out to be amazing. I put a little of the Vodka in my orange juice, the perfect companion for eating alone, especially since I couldn't read Italian news papers. It also smoothed out my brain still cloudy from last night. Life for me has become all about balance.
   I had dressed in a nondescript outfit that I figured would make me look like any of the other working Genoans I had seen yesterday. My object was to observe the daytime comings and goings at that warehouse. I had thought about that mysterious place a lot last night while anesthetizing myself at the hotel bar. Mainly, why would Angelica be sneaking around her own company's building. After a couple of brandy's my creativity started to become hysterical, and after years of experience I knew it was time to stop thinking before I did something really stupid, and in this case, probably dangerous. So, I let my mind focus on Angelica, who was becoming harder and harder avoid. She was a beautiful woman, and there was something about her that, that...well it's hard to describe.
   I bought a local paper for cover as I arrived in the area near my quarry. A coffee shop with delicious looking pastries beckoned me to a tan[bel that just happened to provide a perfect view of Biglietto Boats. The waitress, smiled as she brought the dark black coffee and something really intriguing that looked sweet and delectable. As I munched and sipped, almost drooling from taste buds under attack, feigning intense interest in the paper, I saw a severe looking guy run in, all agitated. He landed a couple of tables away, where he just stood, hovering, ready to explode over an old grizzled appearing guy had been sitting there quietly doin just about what I had been doing. He didn't semed happy about the appearance of the intense companion. The intruder, dressed perfectly in an expensive looking suit, I know expensive suits because they are opposite of what I wear, reached down and pulled away the old man's paper and flipped a few pages, pointing to something around page  seven. He became animated, while the old guy continued to sit calmly. Finally he put up his hands as if saying slow down. The suit stopped jabbering and sat, as the older guy began talking softly.
  I took my paper and went to the page they were discussing. There in black and white was a big picture of a bombed out Bernard Yacht factory under the headline, "Stati Uniti Barca Builder bombardato". Bombardato! I looked over at the twosome who were still talking quietly. I ducked my head as I saw the suit's head scanning the area.
  
The Answer:
I suspect I'll never get to any of these, but you who travel may like to keep the list handy: Carnevino, LV: Cut, Beverly Hills: St. Elmo Steak House, Indianapolis: Charlie Palmer, DC; Killen's Steakhouse, Pearland Tx; Kevin Rathbun, Atlanta; Urban Farmer, Portland Or; Prime One Twelve, Miami, Fl; Peter Luger, Brooklyn NY; House of Prime Rib, SF; Pappas Bros., Dallas; Mooo, Boston; Gibson's bar & Steakhouse, Chi; Barkal Prime, Philly; Murray's, Minn; Churrascos, Hou; Jess & Jims, KC; Keens, NYC; Oak SH, Charleston SC; Five O'Clock,Milwaukee; The Prime Rib, Balt; Jeff Ruby's Cinn, David Burkes, Chi; Berns, Tampa; Lonesome Dove, Fort Worth; Cattleman's, Okla City; Roast, Det. 22 Bowens, Newport. I just threw in that last one.

Know any good Italian jokes?

Save your lira.