Send in the Clowns.

Today's Tids Issue 2,067
Opening Stuff:

After yesterday’s fairly heavy Tid’s tome I figure hump day is good day on which to lighten up. Did you hear about the preacher who decided to demonstrate the ills of sinful living before the congregation? He put live worms in four jars containing booze, cigs, chocolate and clean earth. The only worm that lived was the one in clean earth. He then asked the congregation what they learned from this demonstration. One elderly woman stood in the back and shouted, “If you drink booze, smoke cigarettes and eat chocolate…you’ll never get worms.”

Doctors say that those who are cheerful resist disease better than those who are grumpy. I guess that means that the surly bird gets the germ.

After reading and listening to pundits and politicians it is almost imperative that we visit some real clowns today. Can you imagine how confusing the November elections may be? We’ll have two parties which about 81% of the country despise. We’ll have movements and third parties who will be protesting in the name of people and the people will be hard pressed to figure out what they are talking about. Democrats and Republicans bear little resemblance to what Dems and GOP are supposed to be. Candidates will creep out of the woodwork and they’ll all say “Hey! I’m just like Scott Brown”. Why don’t we just put them all in the middle of some subsidized farm in the Great Plains and throw cream pies at them! I think we all need a good laugh from the gut.

The Question:

Name five well known clowns.

The Headlines:
--World Markets Higher On Improved Growth Outlook; US Futures Higher On Hopes Of Improved Earnings Being Evidence Of rebound.
--Housing Construction Up 2.9% In January.
--Number Of Lagging Mortgage Payments Soar In Last Three Months Of 2009.
--Germany Now Leading US In Total Medals 9 To 8; Rest Of Top Five Are France, Canada and
--Toyota Considers New Recall Over Corolla Steering.
--Taliban Using Local Citizens As Shields.
--Entertainment: Kevin Eubanks Out As Leno Band Leader; Alexander McQueen Hanged Himself In London Home.
--King Tut Said To Have Died At 19; Frail King Said To Have Been Child Of Incest.
--Fed Privacy Watchdog Group “Electronic Privacy Information Center” Says Google’s New Social Network “Buzz” Violates Consumer Protection Laws.

Back to Stuff:

The capture of that Taliban leader in Pakistan yesterday isn’t that big of a deal. According to some non-partisan military leaders, Mullah Abdul Ghani Baradar was a man about town in Karachi and continuously under the eyes of the US and other intelligence agencies. Some are saying this friend of OBL would be more valuable moving about town and perhaps leading us to secret weapon or planning sites.

If you get a “clapper” for a gift, make sure it isn’t at the same frequency as your husband’s or wife’s pacemaker.

In this global warming ravaged world, it is interesting to learn that Hawaii among all 50 US States was the only state not to have snow this winter. Maybe that is why it was named “Happiest” state in which to live. The other of the Ten Happiest are snow burdened states of Utah, Montana, Minn, Iowa, Vermont, Colorado, Alaska, ND (No, not Notre Dame Irish fans. It is only a state of mind) and Kansas. I’m happy. Our state is so corrupt that it is funny. Funny is good for a smiling soul.

The worst of reality shows are political party spokes people on cable news programs. Maybe we should take a page out of the awful program “Wife Swap” and have these clowns live with the other party for a month.

The Novel:
Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 55 continues. –I know how important this meeting is to Isabelle, the company and me. I just wanted the meeting, the entire day, to be over so I could find a way to drive to Concord see Sarah/Maggie. I sat there thinking of her while using the pragmatic side of my brain to take in what Izzy was saying about her plans for the meeting. “We have about five minutes before Wiley and crew arrives”, I heard Izzy say. I looked over , “Good, I think I’ll hit the men’s room. I got up and strode out of the clean room style conference room. Could business be any more antiseptic than this? I smiled to myself. I turned the corner, pulled out my cell and dialed Sarah’s cell. “Hello”, I couldn’t respond as I heard that wonderful raspy voice. Then she said quickly after looking at my name on her phone, “How’s that meeting going. I wanted to call but my children are dangling around my neck and Paul Is in and out.” I just said “I miss you and will be there soon”. She didn’t respond. I heard her breathing. I added, “The meeting starts in a few minutes.” “Oh, that is good!” she said in that old buoyant way of hers. Keep me posted. Maybe you’ll come down here and fill me in. I have to go now.” I closed the phone. My heart was beating noticeably. I think I could make it through the rest of the day now. “Kent!” I looked up and saw a smiling Jack Wiley walking towards me, hand stretched out.

Back to More Stuff Again:

Laughing stock are cattle with a sense of humor.

Fisherman will be descending upon Washington on the 24th of Feb to protest fed regs on fishing limitations using as their hook “bad regulations based on faulty science”. Now that some GW’ers are recanting their scientific conclusions at an ever increasing rate, I believe that the hard working fishermen have a new boatful of circumstantial evidence that implies they were screwed too. Federal regulations are a drag.

One of the all time great “24” watchers is particularly happy that the bad guys are being killed off at a rapid rate. He concludes that it means there is a raft of worse bad guts lurking. Lurking has always been good for “24”.

Never squat with your spurs on.

The pitchers and catchers report tomorrow. That’s news that reawakens the heart. While I am a big Celtics fan, the Green still don’t make up for the gap between football and baseball. College basketball is so overdone that it is almost like watching TV test patterns of old. I have a lot of trouble getting tuned into the Olympics, and I like the Winter version far better than the summer event. I don’t like this period in the American Idol competition. Actually, the most exciting thing I do nowadays is reread the Tids!

If you think that health care is expensive now, wait until it is free.

The Answer:

The first names that came to my mind were Clarabelle, Bozo, Ronald and Emmet Kelly. Of course Emmit was the guy who played what is probably the most famous clown in circus history – Weary Willy. Other famous circus clowns are Lou Jacobs, Felix Adler, Leon McBride, Otto Griebling, Mark Anthony, Glenn Little and Paul Jung among many who kept you smiling. Also known as great clowns in American entertainment history are Red Skelton, Lou Costello, Lucille Ball and Danny Kaye. Want some clown lore…check this out:
http://www.clown-ministry.com/History/

The End:

A new T-Shirt says “US Economic Policy: Made in China.