Oscar Crap

Weekend Tids:
The Opening Stuff:

How can I maintain my stature as a leading publication in superficial journalism if I don't do something here about the AcadamyAwards. If you intend to keep your reporting truly shallow like I do, than you have to talk about the egos and antics of celebrities. Frankly, I'm am really tired of this whole celebrity thing -- on stage, in movies and in the White House. But, on another front I love them. Where else would I find so much fodder for humor, disbelief and amazment than in Hollywood. Where else would I find so much substance for my reports on the decline of the culture in America?

The Hosts:
There is a  lot of anticipation for the host duo of Martin and Baldwin. Frankly, I liked Stve Martin much better when he was funny. And, Alex Baldwin has become so repetitious that I'm afraid his act will be over before Martin does the old arrow through the head trick. I doubt if they will ever last long enough to replace the all time leaders Bob Hope at 18 and Billy Chrystal at 8. A report I read said Whoopie was the the sentimetnal favorite because she was a woman and a black! So? Frankly, I liked her becasue she could be very funny. Isn't that's what is important? Isn't that what women and blacks really want...to be recognized for their professionalism and their achievements? Oh...and the worst ever was Dave Letterman. Omooo? Aaaaaaargh.

The Movies:
10 movies this year, and the best one may not win. Favorites Avatar and Hurt Locker could easily cancel each other out allowing a third favorite film to sneak through ala Bush over Gore. The brain dead on the left coast have a new scoring system for best pic only where second and third place votes could count more than first place votes? Who designed this system, the NFL guru who devleoped the overtime rules? And why did they pick ten? Really. Are they assuming that there are actually that many good films out there. Or is it because so many of the newer films subliminally support some agenda, someone thought that it only fair to represent all causes. Or is simply money. 10 picks mean ten revivals in theaters that can say "Oscar Nominee". From what I'm reading and hearing, if the top favorites are too close allowing the third to move on top, it could be Inglorious Basterds. Up was cute but dragged in the middle. Blind Side was popular and well done, but fairly light. Precious to me is the best dark horse because it is the kind of small film that the celebs like their egos to be associated with. Personally, An Education is a smart little film I could see winning. Oh, by the way, Gone With The Wind far still outdistances Avatar and Titanic as the all time box office winner when adhjusted for inflation. And you should give a damn about that.

The Top Actors:
It's hard to see anybody but Jeff Bridges winning this one. He has captured the momentum, and probably the emotions of his voting pals. Some say Clooney is a possibility, but I believe that his Up in the Air role is more about Clooney being Clooney than any thing special as an actor. My sense is that there are two Hollywood style genuine darkhorses here -- Morgan freeman and Colin Firth. But the Bridges momentum will be too hard to overtake. Sea, the hunt is over! Shoot me.

The Actresses:
This could be more of a race, but I'm hoping not so as I would would enjoy seeing nice person Sandra Bullock carry home the metal. Hey, maybe Streep is nice too. She is a very fine actress, but, I have to tell you that I found Julia annoying and grating and I could hardly wait to for the Streep scenes to change. Like PSH as Truman C, I could hardly wait for it to end. Carey Mulligan, the teen actress in the above mentioned An Education was excellent, but probably not good enough to overcome sentimentality.

In Support...:
I would be really, really surprised if anybody but heavy favorites Christoph Waitz and Mo'nique won as predcited. I personally would love to see the mush deserved Stanly Tucci win, if for nothing else than for continueous great acting. I have always liked Damon and always disliked Harrelson. hey, I have built in biases in case you haven't noticed. But no chance for them Not much drame here.

Best Director:
In case you have been on a round the word crise in a submarine, the favorites for the best Director are ex- mates Cameron and Bigelow. I really don't care if either of them win. They have basically prempted the discussion because of their relationship and pretty good movies. But the guy who should win is Tarrantino for Basterds.

Well that's about it. I'm climbing back out of the dumbster with a second banana peel dripping off of my head and lots of unknown crap on my shoes. But it's great to breathe again.

So, if you decide to traipse down to the Red Carpet, don't look for me. I've been banned along with the producer of The Hurt Locker!

The Dramatic finish:
Remember, smart people aren't smart about everything.