The imperfect umpire.

Today's Tids Issue 2,144
Opening Stuff:

When the fog rolls in, the world gets a little softer. It envelops your senses with anesthetizing arms. It soothes fears and calms doubts. I makes you wish you hadn’t been so cheap and bought the fog light package.

Did you hear about the Harley rider who punched a lion in the nose to save a 6 year old girl the lion had grabbed at the local zoo. A reporter who had witnessed the rescue and the elation of the overjoyed parents ran to the biker and said I’m going to do a beautiful feature on this. You were amazing. Tell me about yourself. “Well,” he said, “I’m a marine and a Republican and I love my Harley.” The next morning the headline read: “US Marine Assaults African Immigrant and steals his lunch.” Probably.

Actually, there is some evidence that the media is having some second thoughts about white washing everything Obama. .

The Question: Frankie Valli was a popular entertainer in the sixties, but nobody I changed my schedule for. But today with the huge success of “Jersey Boys” he is practically a candidate for sainthood today. It appears that much of the singer’s success was due to the songwriting of Bobby Gaudio. Name five Gordio Valli and non-Valli hits.

The Headlines:
--Armando Galarraga Becomes First Pitcher To Get 28 Outs In Perfect Game; Red Faced Ump Admits Keeping Galarraga Out Of History Books.
--Stock Futures Rise; Hope To Build Upon Yesterday’s 220 Burst.
--Productivity Growth Slows; Retail Slows; New Jobless Claims Fall For Second Month.
--BP’s Latest Effort Hits Snag.
--0-Man’s Admin Admits Offering Another Candidate Job To Leave Colorado Race Against Prez Hand Picked Candidate.
--1.3 Million Maytag Dishwashers Recalled Because Of Potential
--Blago Trial Starts Today.
--Ford To Eliminate 71 Year Old Mercury Brand; Will Expand Lincoln Line-up.

Back to More Stuff:

So the question of the day is: Should Commissioner Selig award Armando Galarraga with the perfect game he clearly earned? I say yes.

And what is it with all of these so called hardest to achieve perfect games. Galarraga’s was the third already this year, but only the 27th in history of the game? Are the pitchers all of sudden that much better?

Did you hear about the guy who asked his caddie for sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham and cheese on rye?

I’m with Joe Biden on this one. Yes, that Joe Biden. The Veep has come out strongly in favor of Israel, saying that they have every right to know what is being smuggled into their territories. I thought the raid was more than an acceptable tactic and would have been a harmless incursion if not for the aggression of the peace lovers.

iThings are overpowering the broadband capabilities of the major carriers. AT&T is doing something about it. For the crazed smart phone and iPad users, the rates are going up based on usage. Those currently with unlimited contracts can renew indefinitely, but starting Monday new subscribers will l have to choose between two programs – one which will actually reduce costs for light users (That includes heavy eMail users) and a second which will limit to two gigs for heavy users (Movie watchers et al). It actually sounds quite fair as even reasonably heavy users will have the chance to add bandwidth each month and still stay under current costs. But, if you go crazy, it will cost.

Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 75. –I left the meeting thinking that this is going to be a long haul. I liked the agents, and frankly their curiosity is remarkably similar to my own. It is obvious that they see something in Kent which I don’t think they are totally revealing to us. Henry will know, I thought.
Maybe I should know. After all, wasn’t I originally attracted to Kent because he seemed to think like me? He saw things the way I did. Bill knocked on the door interrupting my thoughts. “How’d it go boss?” he asked too cheerily. As if he was happy I was back to talk to the feds and not him.
“A love fest.” I answered quickly. “Kumbaya all the way.” He laughed almost boyishly. I think he was really happy to have me back.
“Want to talk about BiEm now?” he asked now more serious.
“I think, Bill…that we will be talking a lot about our favorite new client for weeks to come.” He nodded, and shuffled a piece of paper on my desk.
“Do you think we should consider altering our contract to hedge against some legal difficulties.”
“Actually Bill,” I answered, “Our original agreement has plenty of legal protection for this kind of situation. What I want to know from you is the scuttlebutt. Your sense of the situation.” I looked at him. My older son, I thought. “I have to get out of my recovery act and back on the field.”
“Uh Oh”, he laughed and then got back to the mood of the minute. “Jeff and Gloria have done some good work with their finance people. And I have tried to keep Isabelle happy. She thinks highly of you, you know.” I nodded. “Anyhow, Gloria and Jeff are working with the general finance people and also those who had been in charge of the two competing projects.”
“Go on.” This was getting interesting.
“It seems, according to Gloria, that the Bomsky guy has some questions about Middleton. He paused.” He was a friend of yours, wasn’t he?”
“Not really.” My chest tightened.

I live in a small city that has many of the big city advantages…and problems. You get to see basic human nature at it’s worse. About a week ago for no reason at all except maybe for basic brain damage to the morality nodule, some character just tore out by the roots seven bushes from a beautiful little boxwood hedge and left them strewn upon the street. Hey what fun! And a week later pots of flowers out side the door were just taken. This is a common occurrence, BTW. You know I often rant about litterers. People who just don’t seem to understand what living in a civilized society is all about. And then, some politically correct loon will enable them. And add, “Hey, what’s a few bushes?”

As Mickey Mantle once said, “The guy with the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie!”

The Answer:
Gaudio was quite the prolific song writer, producer, arranger. For Valli and the 4 Seasons (Of which he was a member) he wrote Sherry, Big Girls Don’t Cry, Rag Doll, Walk Like a Man, Bye, Bye Baby, and Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of you. His first hit came at age 15 – Who wears short shorts. He wrote many for Neil Diamond including I’m Glad You’re Here with Me Tonight. He also wrote Talk is Cheap, Whatever You Want, Please be Mine, The Sun ain’t Going to Shine Anymore.

I am, I said:
These musical group Broadway love fests (Mama Mia , Jersey Boys) seem quite popular these days. I think the next great candidate for one of these would be Neil Diamond. He has packed them in for years. And lord knows he needs the extra dough for alimony payments. I’d start it off with 38,000 Red Sox fans singing their daily Sweet Caroline and segue to his Brooklyn beginnings in the shadow of of the Dodger’s Ebbit’s Field. Could be a winner. But, they had better hurry before all of his fans die off.