Today's Tids Issue 3,011
Opening Stuff:
Winter is back, and my brain is working again. As they say around here, don't forget to get out early to the supermarket before the storm for bread, milk and hairspray.
Speaking of "autocorrect" -- How much do I hate that feature when it transforms my slang or even correctly spelled words beyond it's automaton intelligence into totally out of context words. Even last night, I wrote about the artist "Remington" and it came out from Mr. Know-it-All autocorrect as"Remitting." The worst part is that it was to a group of smart people who are probably good spellers, and they may think of me as Typo-guy. It's not as bad, though, as the guy carried away by the FBI after the NSA reported his email, "Going to Attack", which had been changed by you know what from "Going to Attic"! More than ever, it pays to edit.
95% of all boating accidents occur within 3 miles of shore. Sounds pretty logical to me. That's where the bad things are -- like quickly shifting winds, rocks and lots of idiots. Fortunately around this time of year there are many great classes on water and boating safety, which will help most avoid being one of the three major causes of water mayhem.
If people are worried about going to the Olympics, than the terrorists have already accomplished their mission.
Will Andrew Cuomo authorize a special reefer exemption, allowing the opening of temporary Pot Shops in Times Square for Superbowl visitors from the states of the two teams which just happen to be the only two where it is legal -- Colorado and Washington? You have to wonder if bookies are taking bets on whether there'll be more snow on the field or in the stands.
I really have to laugh at legislators who say they need to legalize pot to increase revenue for the states. What's that for...to replace revenue lost from the decline of cigarettes? God love em'.
We have some great new readers just starting out on their "Tids" journey. I checked on several local suicide hot lines for irrational screamers, and received an all-clear. We'll see how long that lasts.
Polar Vortex II? Nah, it's just winter.
Uh Oh, Texas may be in trouble and not even know it, since popular Dem Gubernatorial Candidate Wendy Davis is actually a native Rhode Islander, from near bankrupt West Warwick at that. Texans may want to take a closer look at what RI Dems hath wrought upon a once independent state of persnickety individualists.
The Conscience: Chapter 34 continues.
James watched the scene, a very emotional scene in front of him. He didn't know whether to feel relieved, elated or puzzled. He had learned so much peersonally from that small act of kndness from Jeffery. Yet, he saw next to Jeffery a woman who must have a amazing patience for sticking with a weak man who had been such a loser for so long. A woman who had endured the ugliness of a drunk for the major part of her life. What kind of love is that, he wondered. As over the years he sought and learned more about the whereabouts of Morgan, he had trouble justifying the differnce between a man who showed courage in one instance, and lacked it entirely by hiding the body. And, himself from reality.
"You've known this for thrity years. Thirty years during which I have could have ruined a family. tested beyond anything close to normalcy the love of a woman." Jeffery was showing anger, and James "Brainy" Smith, withdrew involuntarily. James was about to speak, not really knowing what to say, when Jeffery continued.
"I only have myself to blame. Don't I James. I left her there. I hid the truth. There was no way you could reach me, not in those black days in society..." Jeff looked up, now smiling, a little. "Oh sorry James, "those bleak days." James now smiled in return.
"What is going on here," Evvy had stood up and was looking at the two of them demanding an explanantion. Jeff didn't tap his breast pocket.
Jeff told her the entire story, of what he did, what he hid and how James accusing eyes had followed him everywhere for almost 30 years, at work, while he slept and even at times when they were making love. Evvy didn't know whether to be happy or mad or take a cleaver to his head. She really had no idea about what to say.
"Would you like a drink, James?" Jeff had risen and went over to the mini bar.
"No thanks, my body has had enough stimulation for day or two!"
"I don't either," he grabbed Evvy's hand. "So, what happened to the girl, I can't even remember her name, only those awful dead eyes.
"It was Sally. Sally Southfield." James began the rest of the story.
The Answer:
Bill Murray heads the list and is followed in order by Will Ferrell, Phil Hartman, John Belushi, Chris Farley, Dan Ackroyd, Tina Fey, Eddie Murphy, Dana Carvey, Mike Meyers, Adam Sandler, Gilda Radnor, Kristin Wiig, Chevy Chase, Jimmy Fallon, Amy Poehler, Steve Martin, Bill Hader, Chris Rock and Jason Sudeikis. In the next ten we have Norm McDonald, Darrell Hammond, Jon Lovitz, Billy Crystal, Martin Short, Jane Curtin, David Spade Kevin Nealon, Christopher Walken and Andy Sandberg. Check out te entire fifty -- http://www.ranker.com/crowdranked-list/the-best-snl-castmembers-of-all-timehttp://
I'm surprised that Steve Martin, Billy Crystal and Jane Curtin are so low.
The Tids would have been out earlier, but I've been standing in line at the supermarket. On the way home I stopped short, the milk spilled in the back seat --I cried -- and while I was cleaning it up. some birds flew in and ate my bread. So, snuggle in, light the fire, pour a glass of wine or better...and enjoy the Tids. See you tomorrow after I shovel out my grill.
Winter is back, and my brain is working again. As they say around here, don't forget to get out early to the supermarket before the storm for bread, milk and hairspray.
Christie wasn't really saying "Block the Bridge". It was "Block the Fridge, Block the Fridge"!
I see where NY's Governor said with classic smarmy intolerance that he would be happy to expel all conservatives. Maybe he could direct a few North to Republican starved RI. Andrew Cuomo is so liberal that an extreme conservative is everybody who doesn't agree with him, which could be good old fashioned Democrats and Moderate Republicans. He sounds more like the Governor of New York City. And opinionators wonder why we just can't all get along.
I see where NY's Governor said with classic smarmy intolerance that he would be happy to expel all conservatives. Maybe he could direct a few North to Republican starved RI. Andrew Cuomo is so liberal that an extreme conservative is everybody who doesn't agree with him, which could be good old fashioned Democrats and Moderate Republicans. He sounds more like the Governor of New York City. And opinionators wonder why we just can't all get along.
The Question:
Who do you think were are considered the top 20 all-time favorite SNL cast members?
The Headlines:
--Winter Blast bringing Snow, Icy Cold To Northern Half Of US.
--Stock Market Coming Back From Weak Opening; Dow Hits Coming From Weakness In Goldman And Verizon.
--Christie To be Sworn In During Snowstorm And Under Avalanche of Criticisms.
--Sochi Security Hunting For Three Alleged Suicide Bombers.
--Congressman Asks if Russia Is Behind Snowden Leaks.
--0-Man Subliminally Supporting Legal Pot In New Yorker Interview?
--Target Could See Payout Of $150 Million In security Breach Claims.
--UN Undoes Iran Invite To bring Syria Opposition Back To Peace Table.
Is Sochi the 21st century version of Potemkin Village?The Headlines:
--Winter Blast bringing Snow, Icy Cold To Northern Half Of US.
--Stock Market Coming Back From Weak Opening; Dow Hits Coming From Weakness In Goldman And Verizon.
--Christie To be Sworn In During Snowstorm And Under Avalanche of Criticisms.
--Sochi Security Hunting For Three Alleged Suicide Bombers.
--Congressman Asks if Russia Is Behind Snowden Leaks.
--0-Man Subliminally Supporting Legal Pot In New Yorker Interview?
--Target Could See Payout Of $150 Million In security Breach Claims.
--UN Undoes Iran Invite To bring Syria Opposition Back To Peace Table.
Speaking of "autocorrect" -- How much do I hate that feature when it transforms my slang or even correctly spelled words beyond it's automaton intelligence into totally out of context words. Even last night, I wrote about the artist "Remington" and it came out from Mr. Know-it-All autocorrect as"Remitting." The worst part is that it was to a group of smart people who are probably good spellers, and they may think of me as Typo-guy. It's not as bad, though, as the guy carried away by the FBI after the NSA reported his email, "Going to Attack", which had been changed by you know what from "Going to Attic"! More than ever, it pays to edit.
95% of all boating accidents occur within 3 miles of shore. Sounds pretty logical to me. That's where the bad things are -- like quickly shifting winds, rocks and lots of idiots. Fortunately around this time of year there are many great classes on water and boating safety, which will help most avoid being one of the three major causes of water mayhem.
If people are worried about going to the Olympics, than the terrorists have already accomplished their mission.
Will Andrew Cuomo authorize a special reefer exemption, allowing the opening of temporary Pot Shops in Times Square for Superbowl visitors from the states of the two teams which just happen to be the only two where it is legal -- Colorado and Washington? You have to wonder if bookies are taking bets on whether there'll be more snow on the field or in the stands.
I really have to laugh at legislators who say they need to legalize pot to increase revenue for the states. What's that for...to replace revenue lost from the decline of cigarettes? God love em'.
We have some great new readers just starting out on their "Tids" journey. I checked on several local suicide hot lines for irrational screamers, and received an all-clear. We'll see how long that lasts.
Polar Vortex II? Nah, it's just winter.
Uh Oh, Texas may be in trouble and not even know it, since popular Dem Gubernatorial Candidate Wendy Davis is actually a native Rhode Islander, from near bankrupt West Warwick at that. Texans may want to take a closer look at what RI Dems hath wrought upon a once independent state of persnickety individualists.
The Conscience: Chapter 34 continues.
James watched the scene, a very emotional scene in front of him. He didn't know whether to feel relieved, elated or puzzled. He had learned so much peersonally from that small act of kndness from Jeffery. Yet, he saw next to Jeffery a woman who must have a amazing patience for sticking with a weak man who had been such a loser for so long. A woman who had endured the ugliness of a drunk for the major part of her life. What kind of love is that, he wondered. As over the years he sought and learned more about the whereabouts of Morgan, he had trouble justifying the differnce between a man who showed courage in one instance, and lacked it entirely by hiding the body. And, himself from reality.
"You've known this for thrity years. Thirty years during which I have could have ruined a family. tested beyond anything close to normalcy the love of a woman." Jeffery was showing anger, and James "Brainy" Smith, withdrew involuntarily. James was about to speak, not really knowing what to say, when Jeffery continued.
"I only have myself to blame. Don't I James. I left her there. I hid the truth. There was no way you could reach me, not in those black days in society..." Jeff looked up, now smiling, a little. "Oh sorry James, "those bleak days." James now smiled in return.
"What is going on here," Evvy had stood up and was looking at the two of them demanding an explanantion. Jeff didn't tap his breast pocket.
Jeff told her the entire story, of what he did, what he hid and how James accusing eyes had followed him everywhere for almost 30 years, at work, while he slept and even at times when they were making love. Evvy didn't know whether to be happy or mad or take a cleaver to his head. She really had no idea about what to say.
"Would you like a drink, James?" Jeff had risen and went over to the mini bar.
"No thanks, my body has had enough stimulation for day or two!"
"I don't either," he grabbed Evvy's hand. "So, what happened to the girl, I can't even remember her name, only those awful dead eyes.
"It was Sally. Sally Southfield." James began the rest of the story.
The Answer:
Bill Murray heads the list and is followed in order by Will Ferrell, Phil Hartman, John Belushi, Chris Farley, Dan Ackroyd, Tina Fey, Eddie Murphy, Dana Carvey, Mike Meyers, Adam Sandler, Gilda Radnor, Kristin Wiig, Chevy Chase, Jimmy Fallon, Amy Poehler, Steve Martin, Bill Hader, Chris Rock and Jason Sudeikis. In the next ten we have Norm McDonald, Darrell Hammond, Jon Lovitz, Billy Crystal, Martin Short, Jane Curtin, David Spade Kevin Nealon, Christopher Walken and Andy Sandberg. Check out te entire fifty -- http://www.ranker.com/crowdranked-list/the-best-snl-castmembers-of-all-timehttp://
I'm surprised that Steve Martin, Billy Crystal and Jane Curtin are so low.
The Tids would have been out earlier, but I've been standing in line at the supermarket. On the way home I stopped short, the milk spilled in the back seat --I cried -- and while I was cleaning it up. some birds flew in and ate my bread. So, snuggle in, light the fire, pour a glass of wine or better...and enjoy the Tids. See you tomorrow after I shovel out my grill.
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