So, what's today's excuse.

Today's Tids Issue 3,015

Opening Stuff:

That Columbia Mall shooting Saturday was particularly disconcerting because I know a couple of incredibly beautiful people who live in that town, and that Mall shopping on Sat Morn could certainly be something they'd do. It is amazing the range of feelings that pass through the nervous system as your mind races to a place of rationality during the vacuum of information. But you also realize, that while the initial reaction is to be frightened for your own, people did die. That there are parents and loved ones who have felt the immensity of this mindless tragedy. Sons and daughters, husbands or wives, lovers, who went to work as they do regularly, are never coming back to say, "Hi,' mom or dad"; "Hi Honey"; "Mommy's home!". That the two in Columbia will never return; Just like the many other's across the land in senseless shootings. I know the sadness I feel. I will never know their grief.

In their latest move to restore RI's economic power, the legislature is selling the naming rights for the great architectural masterpiece State house to Alex and Ani. It will be called "Carolyn's Cupola." The lawmen wanted to name other Government buildings, but they couldn't find any other successful RI businesses. Oh, I take that back, they named the Treasury building, "Naval Underwater Warfare Center" and the Labor Department Building, "Job Lot".

To try comprehend and perhaps sort out the mess in The Ukraine, yesterday morning I put on Moussorgsky's "Pictures at an Exhibition" which ends with the triumphant "Great Gate of Kiev". Today this once proud land is far from it's grandeur. It seems to boil down to the fact that the Government wants the country to reenter Russian oppression and the people want to be flee towards Western freedoms and opportunities. It's a matter of the President and henchmen being beholden to Putin, or the people who elected them.

The Question:
47 years ago today there was a flash fire in the NASA capsule, and three Astronauts died. Who were they?

The Headlines:
--Market Builds Early Gains; Foundation Crumbles After Poor December New Housing report; Street Awaits Apple Report Today.

--Former Constitutional Law Professor, Now President Obama Expected To Say At SoU That He Will Bypass Congress And Order Done Through Executive Order The Things He Wants.
--Ukraine Continues To Rebel Violently Against President Who Would Bypass Wishes of People.
--Columbia Md Police Still Looking For Shooter Motive; No Connection To Dead Discovered.

--FaceBook Sees Slowing Growth; Social Network Companies Awaiting FB’s Profit Report And Futures.
--Frigid Temps To Envelop Midwest, East.
--Egypt Calling For Presidential Elections As Violence In Country Spreads.
--Congressman Trey Radel (R-Fl) To Resign After Cocaine Bust.

We seem to be in that portion of the financial season when any excuse will do, as long as it has the cachet to enable big market swings in divergent directions despite reality. The reasons must appear powerful enough to the uninitiated so that for the beefit of a few they can obliterate serious bad or good news -- like for instance a series of great earnings reports. The big players you can’t see rule the markets for the most part, and now is the time they see opportunities to capitalize on high prices, to position themselves for later activity and move money for their own benefits regardless of how it affects Main Street.

 

So, did you see where Jamie Dimon got a 74% raise? Think of what it would have been if JP Morgan hadn’t spent $23 Billion in settlements for “Criminal” and regulatory probes! To be fair, the Directors decided that his overseeing of operational performance that produced the 33% increase in stock was worth the loot, a performance by the way which was greatly enhanced by the Fed’s monthly welfare check to the financial downtrodden of $85 billion a month. Many observers feel that big financial leaders should be getting jail time to help stop the madness, as fines even in the billions are quickly absorbed buy the huge money flows. So, there;’'s good news for the good of heart.

If you are looking to write a novel, and need interesting character's names and quirky locations, you need not look further than the street names of rural RI and Conn. For characters we have road names that give us Pardon Joslyn, Widow Sweetsand Rubin Brown.  If you need places you might try Cucumber Hill Road, or Plain Meetinghouse Road or Money Swamp. I think one of the best names can be found down the road a bit in Connecticut: It appears a farmers wagon loaded with livestock was heading to town for slaughtering. The wagon was struck by lightening giving us, "Roast Meat Hill Road in Clinton, Ct. So I'm thinking that maybe we could be naming roads after events in the fifties like "Lost virginity Hollow or Alien Landing Pasture Road.

Are you sure "Money Swamp" isn't up there near the RI Capital building?

As I was typing the above it occurred to me that Republicans would like to see Hillary Clinton as Roast Meat.

These public shootings do change the way people think, even skeptics like me. Friday I was watching the new Jack Ryan film, alone in a theater, munching quietly on my buttery popcorn, when I heard the fast movement of steps followed by the sight of a man running across an aisle and out an exit near the screen. I remember instinctively scrunching down in my seat, and forming a battle plan in my mind. It was only a second or two, but it was real. Looking over our shoulders may be the new way of life.

Burma Shave as many may remember had its moment of fame when it dominated roadsides with witty series of signs and driving safety reminders. There are many funny poemlets like "Car in a ditch/ Driver in Tree / The moon was full / And so was he!," or "Cautious rider / to her reckless dear / Let's have a little less bull / and a lot more steer". But, my favorite is " The midnight ride / of Paul for beer / Led to / A warmer hemmisphere." The electric razor / And super sharp blades/ Have ole’ Burma down / right near Hades.

Nazi Germany considered paintings from modernists like Van Gogh "Degenerate art". That is code for un-arien. It is, though, a reason why there was so much great art floating around without homes or in the black markets immediately before, during and just after WWII. “Hey Buddy, I got this thing called starry night…”

The movement to legalizing marijuana, which is inevitable and always has been, is a great example of how unrelenting determination of organized groups can eventually lead to apathy on the other side worn down over time. Couple that with spineless politicians who rationalize pot heading as new economic front for the nation, and you have eventually the legalization of everything under the sun that can be taxed.

I'll admit it, I fell asleep during the Grammies last night. Actually, I don't think I got too far past the Beyonce opening. Must have worn me out. According to some sources, John Legend, playing the piano and singing was the best act of the night, because you could actually understand what he said. Pink was cool flying high. Ozzie was flying high and not so cool. The mass marriages by Queen Latifah accompanied by Madonna singing the same sex love song was silly, and the Willie/Kris finale was a bust. Robin Thicke had a great chance to merge generations with his Chicago gig, but Chicago left their enthusiasm at a 70’s concert. Basically we had a night of smoke and glare to cover-up the tedious sameness of the music.

We were disappointed to see NCIS favorite Michael Weatherly taking the role of mocking Jesus in the skit with loudmouth Silverstein. He deserves a couple of extra slaps along side his head from Mark.

The way things are accelerating in "Anything Goes USA", I wouldn’t be surprised if they issued Handicap License Plates for alcoholics.

When intolerant liberal Democrats don't like what Republicans are saying, they call them liars. When Republicans don't like what Democrats are saying they call them intolerant liberals.

I hate to be callous, but the recent series of pedestrian deaths in Newport, while incredibly sad point to one thing – pedestrians have to realize that crossing the streets is not just another entitlement despite the signage. They still have to look both ways.

Have you noticed that if mistype “The Tids will”, it can become, “The Tid swill”. Interesting.

The Answer: Gus Grissom was one of the truly favorite all-time Astronauts. He was killed along with Ed White and Roger Chaffee.

I‘ve decided to go to young idea school. I need to keep this thing fresh and current, since it won’t be long until there will be fewer and fewer readers who know Gus Grissom. I can visualize nostalgia columns from the nineties, and shorter sentences and paragraphs. Understanding the new youth and their quirky customs will lead to many illogical moments and of course rousing sarcasm. Of course the good news is that that younger people understand typos. The Tids will live.

I wonder what you might find in Money Swamp.

See you tomorrow.