Gravy Makes Veggies Taste Good.

Today's Tids Issue 2,132
Opening Stuff:

Well...it’s time to set the sundial.

I Love Great Achievements Department:
While the Tids was keeping an eye on the progress of the now failed Abby Sundland around the world adventure, another 16 year old girl, Jessica Watson of Australia, this weekend slid her 34 foot boat into Sidney Harbor to the cheers of a tumultuous crowd. This after 23,000 tortuous miles that included 40 foot waves and seven - count em’ – seven knockdowns. She said it was a blast! Now this very cool and incredibly courageous teen ahs but one worry…can she pass her driver’s test!

Economic theory ceases to exist when Big Government gets too big, too involved.

The Question:
The Farrelly Brothers I hear locally are planning another movie, probably once agiain with some of their home state (RI) ties. Name five Farrelly Brothers movies!

The Headlines:
--Oil Falls Below $70; Euro Falls To Four Year Low.Asian Stocks Plunging.
--Euro News Has
--Thailand “Red Shirts” Offer To talk Peace.
--BP Making Some Progress Plugging Oil Leak.
--Allawi Still Victor In Iraq After Recount; Malicki Will Probably Do Something Stupid.
--Another Violent Attack In China Has Man Cleevering 7 Women To Death.
--Celts Get Neutralize Home Court Advantage With Opening Round Upset Of Orlando.

Back to More Stuff:

So, did you read that a New York City “Gentlemen’s Club” has offered LeBron James free lap dances for life if he joins the New York Knicks. The way I see it, however, this should be a reason not to take the Knicks deal. With that kind of public knowledge out there, every time someone says “Where’s LeBron”, someone else will say smirkingly, “Don’t you know?”.

Whatever happened to pedestrians looking both ways, and waiting for cars to pass before crossing?

Tids Guy for Congress Department:
The meeting with party leaders was depressing from the opening statement. “Well Tid’s Guy, we’re happy to have you on our team!”. / “I’m really happy too. I want to put myself on the line for the good of the people.” / They looked at me quizzically, “Noble, noble” The two looked at each other. I saw a quick smile. “First,” they continued, “To do well on the East Bay we’re running you on the platform ‘Veggies For School Lunch.” / I gasped, hopefully not too audibly. “Veggies?” / “Yes” they affirmed, Veggies for kids make moms happy.” A silent pause. / “But, I’m a gravy man.” / “Not any more,” they countered immediately. / “But, gravy tastes better. It even makes veggies taste better.” I waited. But I only felt stony silence. “And gravy makes Kids happy!” I smiled in triumph. / “We don’t want happy kids. You can build a crisis with happy kids.” They both looked me in the eye. “You love veggies”. / “But that would be a lie”, I replied, now with more vigor. / Now, the duo got serious, almost sociopathic in their tone. “There are no lies in Politics. Just adjustments.”

I thought of this while watching Arlen Spector.

One thing that we know for sure is that the geologists were right. It is one great source of oil!

The tortoise and the hare Department:
You know that somebody still loves you when you find that over the winter an 85 year old, four inch neck, giant snapping turtle has decided to move in under your shed. And that a family of 3 inch long baby rabbits is living in a small hole out side the front door. And then we have the robins and sparrows building nests in the rose bushes. I feel like Uncle Remus, Zippity Doo-Da!

Or is that Doctor Doolittle?

It’s better than last year when a family of skunks moved in under the shed. And a feral cat gave birth to kittens under the deck.

Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 72 Continues. –After a little more discussion on Laura – I didn’t want to tell Sally what the Henry was doing – It was Paul who stood and said he had to get back to his office. He looked at Sally and said something in technology talk to which she nodded vigorously. Then he turned to me. “I have a few minutes for a cup of coffee. Want to have a quick date at Maries before I go back?”
That was a surprise. I was going to wander over into Kent’s office before I left for home. “I’d be honored,” and then I broke out into this amazing smile. And looking at Paul’s face, I think my reaction surprised him.
After thanking Sal, Paul and I walked out. I managed to turn my head towards Kent’s glass. I noticed his eyes following me down the hall. Or was he looking at Paul There was something odd about the way he appeared.
After walking through the lobby and nodding a good-bye to smiley, Paul turned to me as the door shut behind us. “Do you think that there is something odder than usual about Middleton these days?”
“You have always thought he was odd?” With that an unusual feeling washed over me. What would he ever think if I told him I had made love to that odd ball. In savored every minute every touch. He wouldn’t think Kent odd if he knew him better. Like I do. “How is he odd? I went on.
Paul told me quickly how terrified he was of Kent in their first meetings. How much it took to hold his ground against Kent’s sharp mind and impenetrable persona. That after a while he found Kent likable though still odd. But that now there was a new air of strangeness that he had never seen before.

Speaking of the collapse of economic theory, it appears that the biggest “Gimmie” crowd is no longer single moms from poor neighborhoods, but any organization that has screwed up its operations primarily through excess. And that includes Wall Street, Public Employee unions and governments of all sizes. In fact, just about every other day somebody pops up on the news asking for a bailout.

You don’t think that big Gov has the ability, if they want, to monitor “everything” you do doo? These new septic systems have monitoring systems that trigger alerts. So, you may get a call from your service saying, “We have noticed more flow into the system than usual”. How prying this that? How do you answer, and why should you feel intimidated in the first place? Do you say, “It must have been something I ate.” Where is this world going.

Speaking of overwrought technology, the haughty umpires must be seething now that the technology is proving how bad most always thought they were on balls and strikes. How much happier was a world without too much information or in your face continual communication?

The Answer: It was all inspired by the RI Legislature when they brought out Dumb and Dumber. Other big hits were There’s Something About Mary; Shallow Hal; Kingpin; Me, Myself And Irene; Fever Pitch; Stuck On You and The Heartbreak Kid. I know, you are smiling as you remember.

The End:
Well gotta go out and stare at my turtle.