Today's Tids Issue 2,186
Opening Stuff:
What did the zero say to the eight? “Nice belt!”
The opening day of NFL training is for sports nuts what Christmas Eve is for kids. It’s all about hope and nothing about reality.
When the Tids Editorial board decided to dub the new President “Prime Time”, little did they know that he could also be known as “Daytime”, “Night Time” and “Good Time”. And of course now, many say it should be “Time to go”.
We need some kind of a new economic engine. The great depression ended with the start of the war effort. We had home building for the post war baby Boom. We've had dot coms. And of course we had the misguided attempt to make homes available for all, even if they couldn't afford it. Hey... how about government subsidized up-to-a-million-dollar weddings for all.
The Question:
Groups of animals are not just all called herds. In fact they have some pretty strange designations. Give me the group names for the following animals: Cats, Coyote, Rabbits, Clams, Crows, Crocodiles, Elephants, Foxes, Gnus, Giraffes, Hummingbirds and Rhinos. Friday Bonus Q: Today marks the 50th anniversary fo the first exhibition football game of the American Football League (AFL now AFC) Name the two participants.
The Headlines:
--GDP Reports Out Today Likely To Show Economic Slowdown In July.
--Government Admits recession Deeper Than Previously Thought; 2.6% Economic Shrinkage Said To Be Worst declein Since 1946.
--China Overtakes Japan As World's Second Largest Economy; Is US Next?
--Ellen Rumored To be Out At American Idol; Jennifer Lopez Top Candidate.
--Gates Calls Release Of Secret War Docs Potentially Treasonous Acts.
--July Deadliest Month For US Troops In Afghanistan After Nine Years Of War.
--Head Of Mexico’s Largest Drug Cartel Killed.
--Rangel Charged; Congressional Trial Likely To be Campaign Season Sideshow The Dems Don’t Want.
--Wild Fires Explode North Of LA; Thousands Flee Homes.
--Calcium Supplements Linked To heart Attacks In Elderly Women.
Back to More Stuff:
You hear a lot of groaning about the weakness of TV lineups this summer. (Including my own) But within the cable network schedules are some real winners. Of course Mad Men is a favorite of many. As is Closer and HBO standards Entourage and True Blood. And there are plenty more. USA’s Burn Notice, Hot in Cleveland (Betty White Show), The Gates (Another attempt at scary – See 2009 Harper’s Island), Scoundrals (Family of small time crooks), Memphis Beat and Boston Med. Boston Med has become a fast favorite of many. (One new show Good Guys with Tom Hanks kid may be the worst show eve brought to TV.) But…Rubicon (On AMC) is the show I may have been waiting for all summer. Mainly because the program promotion relies heavily on the word “Conspiracy”. I’m ready for Sunday at 8:00PM!
Henny Youngman upon finishing golf said, “I hit two good balls today.” I stepped on a rake.” Ouch.
I see no reason why Kerry should pay up to Massachusetts. He was perfectly legal keeping his boat in Newport, Rhode Island. And besides…as any sailor worth their salt knows…the best sailing in the world is off the coast of Newport.
An observant reader writes to ask why I didn’t combine this question: "What will the people do when they get bored with YouTube?" with the Tids from the other day featuring "Stupid is as stupid does". It would have reminded me, he says, that the answer to the question would be: The stupid people will never get bored with YouTube.
Another respected reader wrote to inform me that immigrants sneaking into the US isn’t technically a crime, because sneaking into the US to suck money out of the Treasury isn’t a prosecutable action. It is only a deportable action. But is just plain wrong and if allowed to continue will lead to chaos. So, we can’t prosecute them. They doesn’t explain why we aren’t rounding them up and deporting them.
Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 86 continues. –I just sat there a moment and looked at him. The fast fading, false sense of bravado was leaving me flat. My resolve to return to my life of six months ago was dissolving with each beat of my loving heart. I tried to think of my children, but I only saw Kent’s imploring eyes. I tried recapture last night in bed with Paul, but I was overcome with my yearning for Kent. What do you want me to do Kent I said silently to myself? Do you want me to abet in whatever you are involved?
Kent looked over towards Marie and then reached across the table and caressed my hand. Which opened warmly to receive him. He smiled incredibly lovingly. “I want to take you home right now. I want to fly away with you to a place where we will never be found.” He was imploring me to understand something I couldn’t see. Something untold. He didn’t have to worry, I would. “I should have not asked you here tonight. I thought I could just talk and then leave quietly.” He looked sad. Not in control. Like he always was. Like I always am.
“You’re leaving,” I said plaintively. Weakly.
“But, Sarah/Maggie, this very moment has made me know that I am totally in love with you. You deserve to have your own beautiful life back. And I could let you do that because my love is so great that I want you to be happy most of all. Wherever you go you would always have my heart with you. But my happiest life would only be one where you are always by my side.”
I felt stunned. Yet entirely rapturous. I couldn’t speak. I could only look into those eyes that saw the world and loved the world the way I do.
“I have to leave. Believe me Sarah/Maggie, I want to be with you forever.”
He squeezed my hand. I felt his love to the core of my body. I couldn’t say a word. My eyes must have said it, because his smile was the perfect response to my state of exotic luxury. He got up and left. He didn’t finish his pie. He always finished his pie.
Hey, the Clintons can spend their money any way they want. After all, this couple who never had the chance to participate in the American dream of owning their own home until 2000, deserve to spend wildly like any good American. And, if they can manage to put it on their credit card, good for them. Keep the irresponsible spirit alive in well in the world’s greatest economy.
The Clintons didn’t invite the Prez and wife Sleeveless because they wanted the wedding to personal for their daughter. Now in my lifetime I have seen the marriage of many Presidential daughters and I have never seen $2-3 Million dollar affairs, closing of NY Hudson River area airways for about 16 hours or a steady stream of major publicity about private and personal wedding. I wonder how much money the Clintons will make on their book about the wedding.
Reading Between the Lines Movie Reviews:
--Charlie St. Cloud is really a vehicle for the career path growth of teen fave Zac Efron. He actually doesn’t do so well in this film that often struggles. But, it may be interesting. Zac plays a super high school sailor who gets a scholarship to Stanford. And then, something goes terribly wrong. He becomes a recluse living in an out of the way cottage as a caretaker of a cemetery. But, he is eventually saved from is own torments. What happened and who will save him. That is the question.
--Dinner for Schmucks sounds terrible but could be very entertaining. The latest Steve Carell vehicle also stars Paul Rudd. (So many of the Carell movies have been mediocre it is hard to start believing again). This one is good and quite funny. The essence of the plot is about Rudd a career hungry young exec and a bumbler Carell. The big event is where young execs look for losers to bring to a big corporate dinner so the rest of the high powered crowd can laugh at them. But something happens along the way.
--Cats & Dogs is a not so funny sequel. It tries to be a “Roadrunner” style cartoon but the antics just doesn’t measure up. It is a hodgepodge that amay amuse those with half a brain or under the age of three.
--The opening line of the review for The Kids Are Alright says it is a perceptive, funny, tearful, dramatic, offbeat look at the American family today. Offbeat is the operative word as the family is headed by two lesbian parents each with an artificially inseminated child. The oldest child at 18 decided to find dad, and that’s where the gnashing of teeth begins. Dad turns out to be a free-spirited, marginally irresponsible, motor cycle riding owner of a restaurant called Local Food. Obviously the kid gravitates to dad, much to the dismay of mom and mom II. But I guess what really bothers me about this movie is that dad raises organic vegetables for his restaurant. God, how clichéd can a movie be?
The Answer:
Cats – Clowder or Pounce; Coyote – Pack or Train; Rabbits – Warren; Clams – Bed; Crows – Murder; Crocodiles – Congregation or Float; Elephants – Parade; Foxes – Skulk; Gnus – Implausibility; Hummingbirds – Charm; Giraffes – Kaleidoscope, Journey or Troop; Rhinos – Crash.
Check em’ all out at http://www.hintsandthings.co.uk/kennel/collectives.htm (That is if you have npo life); Bonus: The 1st two teams from the old AFL to have a go at it were the Boston Patriots and Buffalo Bills. The Pats won.
The Beginning of the Weekend:
Maybe the newest reality show for next summer will be about a wedding and will be called Chelsea. Sounds like a distinct possibility to me.
It's going to be perfect weather in the east. It will be perfect down here if all of the tourists and day trippers to enjoy the weather in there back yards.
Love your day!
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