My bellybutton?

Today's Tids Issue 2,173
Opening Stuff:

New nickname for the U. S. of A.: The sycophant country.

This warming spell is bothering me, mainly because the ocean is getting too hot up here. Warm waters are more likely to induce hurricanes to come up the coast. Last year for instance, when announcements or watches and warnings were issue for the East Coast, cool waters kept me calm.

The Question:
I thinking that the great new battle cry for the US of A should be “Remember Arizona”. Give me three other well known US battle cries.

The Headlines:
--New Poll Shows Americans Unwavering In Support Of Arizona Over The US.
--New Washington Post/ABC Poll Has 0-Man Slipping Again; Approval rating Down To 43%; 58% have No faith In Prez; Less Faith In Republican And Dem Congress.
--Oil Well Cap Secured; Testing Begins.
--Sox’ David Ortiz Wins Home Run Derby.
--Steinbrenner Dead At 80.
--French Overwhelmingly Approve Ban On Burqa Style Islamic Veils.
--US Trade Deficit Widens To $42.3 Billion.

Back to More Stuff:

I always thought that Mel Gibson looked a little nutty in many of his movie parts. You know, wide eyed and unstable. Now we are learning that he wasn’t acting.

Jimmy The Greek Exoneration Department:
Low and behold, it appears that Jimmy the Greek was right after all – Blacks and whites are different. And new research has proven that it is all in the “belly buttons”. This is true folks. Somebody funded a group of PHD’s with little to do to determine why blacks are better at some sports and whites at others. Because the black’s bellybutton is higher, it creates a locomotive effect which powers up running. On the other hand the longer torsos of the white positions the BB lower which gives whites a huge advantage in swimming by creating a wave effect. Don’t tell Jesse.

The Chinese bellybutton is in the crotch area which makes them better ping pong players.

My bellybutton is full of lint which is great for Tids writing.

While the trend lines signaling a decline of pure capitalism and the historic robust economy versus the rise in the popularity of soccer is certainly disheartening, it may not be as culturally significant as another soccer fan characteristic uncovered at the World Cup Games. Soccer Fans don’t like sex. That’s right…the prostitutes are howling. They are claiming the worst sex drought in the history of the town, or maybe even all of South Africa. They can hardly wait til the Soccer fans leave and romance for a price roars again.

There has to be something terribly wrong with the new Financial Reform Bill just because Congress designed it.

Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 81 continues. -- I looked at Kent. Alone and unshielded in his large, glassed office. Some how he didn’t look quite so confident sitting there open to the world wondering what was happing in the bosses office. With the woman he wanted to see in his bed. I turned and walked down the long haul from the executive suite to the reception area. I didn’t look back, but I could feel Kent’s eyes burning into the back of neck. I started to feel warm. I wanted to turn back, but I clenched my hands and kept moving.
When I rounded the corner that would bring me to the lobby, I took out my cell phone. I stopped. I turned around, but only edged back to the corner. I took a quick glance back and saw Kent rushing into Izzy’s office.
That is definitely not a surprise I thought as I walked back to the lobby doors and out to the car. I waved at “smiley” and punched in a couple of numbers.
Bill picked up as I stepped off the curb towards the parking lot. “Hi Boss” he said immediately There are no secrets in the new technology world.
“Bill, I just left Izzy and she is trying to play hardball on this legal thing. I think she is bluffing. But, I think you should call the treasurer and tell him we’re sending up a few auditors.”
“Right away boss.” He answered somewhat sarcastically. I didn’t say anything more. “Does your silence mean that this conversation is over?” He paused. “I think my Maggie is back in town.”
I just answered, “See you later.” Then I dialed Paul.

The Answer:
Remember Pearl Harbor and Remember the Maine come quickly to mind. Then there was Remember the Alamo. White didn’t we say Remember 911 when we invaded Afghanistan.

People just have to get back to feeling shame and guilt. And stop looking for answers in our belly buttons.