The Joke’s on us.

Today's Tids Issue 2,217

Opening Stuff:

I guess the reason Jon Stuart and other comedians have become active in the political progress is because they thought Congress was part of their union too. At San Fran’s Hungry I we hear Nancy Pelosi crack up the sheep, “We have to pass this bill so we find out what’s in it!” LOL. Tears in eyes. God, these jokers are good. And then over in LV on the big sate of New York, New York the Reidman is saying, “All taxes are voluntary!” God, I’m laughing so hard it’s killing me.

India, Russia and Germany’s swift and utter rejection of Geithner’s “Proposal for numerical targets for sustainable trade surpluses and deficits (Which would greatly favor the US growing deficit) is just the latest example of how in the old world where the US got what the US wanted is a world that has passed us by. We seem to be just another player among the major economic players.

The riots in France and Greece and other socialist countries show clearly that the entire idea of entitlements is a bad one. People who get fired from jobs don’t get anywhere as angry as those who have taken away something they never earned in the first place.

The Question:
First! I have to give you the answer to yesterday’s Bonus Q. (I forgot it in the answer segment) The 1st newspaper to announce the bombing of Pearl Harbor was the Westerly (RI) Sun which came out with the full story Sunday afternoon. Charles Utter, the long time Editor, was a member of a religion called the 7th Day Baptists who in 1679 broke away fro the original Roger Williams Baptist Church so they could worship on Saturday! Thus they were at work early Sunday Morning. Today’s Question: There are many jokes about husband’s mothers-in-law, but the wives may be suffering more. Wives were asked if they would rather see their mother-in-law or go to a gynecologist, stay home and clean house, do jury duty, do taxes or have a root canal. What do you think are the percentages for each?

The Headlines:

--Misinterpretation Of Mayan Calendar Postpones “End Of Earth” Indefinitely.
--Toyota Recalling 1.53 Million Lexus, Avalon and Other Models For Brake Fluid And Fuel Pump Problems.
--Positive Earning’s reports From US Companies Have World Stocks Surging.
--9th Circuit court: Keep “Don’t Ask…” As Is.
--Stewie, Worlds Longest Cat, Is Purr-fect 4 Feet From Nose To Tail Bone.
--Nokia Cuttin 1,800 Jobs Following String Q3 Report.

Back to More Stuff:
Did you happen to see the septic tank truck with the sign on its side that said “Yesterday’s meals on wheels.” Or at church, “7 Day’s without God makes one Weak.” And of course the Plumber, “Don’t sleep with a drip; call your plumber.”

You want to hear drivel? I’ll tell you where you can hear drivel. It’s on the Larry King Show with a fawning LK interviewing Jon Stuart on the ills of the Tea Party.

Every time the US Auto Industry needs a boost, Toyota issues a major recall. What a great marketing plan.

The hardest days of the beautiful Fall months is “Bye Week”.

Jeez, was last week’s Pick-em’ Spot awful. I have not seen as unpredictable season as this in along time. This week, the hot TV game is between the Giants and the “expert’s” fave, the 1-4 Cowboys. I’m saying the Cowboys go 1-5 as the Giant’s “D” keeps room a roamin’ out of the pocket. I’ also can’t go against what looks like my rejuvenated Pats team. They are playing with the vigor and guts they showed in the early 2000’s. On the rest for the most part, I’m going home team in this any team can win season. So the winners are Balt, Chi, Atlanta, Tenn, Pitt, TB, NO, KC, SF, Seattle, Denver and GB. Last week another mediocre 7-7 bringing the year to 57-33. Will this be the comeback week? I have no way of telling.

The thing that has bothered me most over the years about the New England Patriots is watching Jonathon, Myra and Robert Kraft give each other “High Fives” at the end of victories. They just look like people out of touch trying to look like Joe Lunchpail. And, frankly, I feel the same way about myself when I am forced into returning a high five.

Sign over a Gynecologist’s office “Doctor Johnson at your cervix.” And the the sign on the door to the maternity delivery room: “Push, Push, Push.”

The Answer:
51% of wives would rather to housework than sit before the throne of Mom-In-Law. In fact many wives call her Monster-in-law. 36% would take the gynecologist, 30% jury duty, 28% taxes and root canal. But, it is even worse than that. 76% said they would never take parenting advice from m-o-l, 83% would never ask for relationship advice and 94% would seek sex life advice. Which actually makes a lot of sense.

The End:
Really, what wouold be the difference if trained comedians ran the government instead of elected comedians. At least, press conferences would be funny. And how about ta laugh riot State of the Union. The Justices would be rolling on the floor!