Grab your plate.

Today's Tids Issue 2,568
Opening Stuff:

There are about six months, whose names tend to bring rays of sun into my black heart. April is one of them. Maybe it's the prospects to the Easter Bunny. Or when the rebirth from Winter really starts moving along. Or maybe it's just thinking about standing with others out side the tomb of Joseph of Aramithea, and feeling the comfort and warmth from this enormous light that freed the world and brightened it for ever. Yup, maybe that's it..

The White House is minimizing the open mike issue. Duh! There is no more telling statement about the trouble this President will wrought if reelected than the words "This is my last election". If I were the Repub candidate, my campaign slogan would be "Don't vote for a President who says he will only tell us the truth after he is elected". And, doesn't have to worry about reelection. Pretty scary, huh.

The two scariest words in the modern world -- "Data Breach".

Silly Me, Department:
I thought the headline, "Obama calls for the Buffet Rule meant that he was going transparent, stepping out from behind the anachronisms and thinly disguised organizational slogans, by saying to all what he has always meant for the country -- Step right up to the US of A Buffet table. Grab a plate and load up. No questions asked. Come back for seconds. Thirds. It's really scary when you consider that a plate is also called China.

In case you missed yesterday's April Fool edition, don't worry -- it was written in invisible ink. But, who knows there may be a few fooleries remaining.

Cody Ross has a Fenway swing. I think he may have just won the Lottery.

The Question:

1. Who were the co-equal partners of Steve Jobs in the founding of Apple? Bonus: Name the two all-time winningest college basketball programs.

The Headlines:

--Suu Kyi Party Wins Myanmar Election; Hopes For Brighter Economic Future Forced Military Junta To Soften..
--Admin Targeting Romney; Will Emphasize Lack International Experience.
--Santorum Says he ill Press On regardless Of Wisconsin Outcome.
--Afghan Soldiers Continue To Weapons On NATO Allies.
--Huge Obama Donor Abake Assongba Accused Of Defrauding Businesses.
--Tids Editorial Board To endorse President Obama In Re-election; Erudite Journalists Point To His Experience In Veiled Promised To Key World Players.
--Country Music Awards: Entertainer of year - Taylor Swift; Male - Blake Shelton; Female - Miranda Lambert; Group - Lady Antebellum; Duo- Thompson Square; Newcomer - Scotty MCreery.; Red Solo Cup Performance Highlighted Evening.

I miss a lot of TV dialogue when chewing crunchy Cheetos.

It's very hard not to believe that the RI Legislature is made up of thugs and bullies.

When an athlete's wife doesn't cooperate in a domestic violence investigation, it doesn't make the sports creep any less of a monster.

If you have any doubts that our culture is in steep decline, here's the first Internet headline I saw Sunday morning as I opened my home page: "Katy Perry wears 'slime' sports bra." Say what?

Self Defeating Helpful Hint Department:
On the front page of the paper Saturday, the editors provided helpful hints on when to go to the DMV to avoid long lines. Not any more!

The more and more I listen to the President and can only come away with 3 conclusions. 1. He hates America. 2. He has never lived in America. 3. He's a total fool. We know he isn't a total fool. So maybe he is just another politician willing to paint America black for a few votes. Oh, sorry about black. I should have said red.

Nothing says the essence of Easter like Mahler's great "Resurrection Symphony" -- Synphony #2.

I see where Al Gore fired Keith Obermann because he could live up to the standards of Al's TV network "Current". Al Gore has standards? Now, that's bigger news than Katy Perry's sports bra.

Diversity gone amok Department:
In Netherlands the Dutch Government is scrapping multiculturalism: They say it will abandon the long standing model of multiculturalism that has encouraged Muslim immigrants to create a parallel society. They go on to say they will shift priorities to the values of the dutch people. Immigrants will have to learn the Dutch language, and no subsidies will be offered to help them integrate. All immigrants must obey Dutch laws with no exceptions, including dress. In essence, the government says, we want our own citizens to "Feel at Home" in their own country.

Kieth Obermann is basically a spoiled child.

A clear example of the media not doing their job is that fourth estate's lemming like pursuit of the Pink Slime story. Not one jumped up to say "Hey wait a minute. Is this really bad for people or just Twitter world hysteria". All they achieved was putting good people out of work, increasing the cost of a solid protein food and killing more cattle. Pretty sad.

How smart are the owners of Current TV? To replace Obermann, they picked client 9 -- leather suited, whip lashing Eliot Spitzer, who was a total arrogant joke on CNN-HLN and produced no ratings.

Speaking of crash and burn, since when did some one think it was a good idea to celebrate sports wins by turning over cars and setting fires?

What if someone in an Islamic country started twittering misinformation to encourage the overthrow of America, and the kids who turn over cars after basketball games said "hey great Idea", and twittered to more un-knowledgeable masses, what would the Press do then.

Almost near: Chapter 65 continues --"Tucker, breathless ran down the hall to his suite. He pulled out his key card and inserted it in the slot. Red light. He took it out, rubbed it on his sweater. Again. Again. Again. Red Light. Red light. His eyes showed the terror of a man on a railroad track as a train bore down. "Rebecca, it's Tucker, Mommy's here with me, Open the door. We're a family Rebecca. You, me, Mom and Sheila. It was always meant to be this way. It's why I fixed everything for you."
He heard motion inside.
"Rebecca?" softly now, Tucker used his charm. Rebecca, Hi."
He heard a click and metal moving against metal. He turned the doorknob, a smile growing on his face. He shoved and shoved. Nothing happened. She had put in place the safety lock.
"Open the door you little bastard!"
He slid to the floor, suddenly sobbing, broken. All I wanted was a family.
Rough arms pulled him up. He saw the face of Detective Sparrow staring him down. It was obvious to Tucker that the Detective would like to kill him now.
"Don't do anything that would ruin your career, John. Tucker looked at him with soulless eyes.

The Answer:

1. Steve Wozniak and Robert Wayne were the other two in the threesome that got Apple moving. Wayne wasn't there long, but his 10% cut makes him worth about $35 billion today. 2. All you have to do is look at Monday's UKU game. Yup it's Kentucky and Kansas, and the are followed by North Carolina, Duke, Syracuse, Temple, Saint John's UCLA, Notre Dame and Pennsylvania.

One of the battles going on in congress now is the corporate tax rate, which is actually the highest in the world (But not necessarily the effective rate). The way I look at is this: Lower the taxes for those who because of free market forces must run sufficiently, or raise them to run inefficient government, citizen burdening operations. Where is money better spent.

A headline says 21 Million from 1941 census "Still" alive. Hey, I'm one of them. Scary. "Still"?