Grab your plate.

Today's Tids Issue 2,568
Opening Stuff:

There are about six months, whose names tend to bring rays of sun into my black heart. April is one of them. Maybe it's the prospects to the Easter Bunny. Or when the rebirth from Winter really starts moving along. Or maybe it's just thinking about standing with others out side the tomb of Joseph of Aramithea, and feeling the comfort and warmth from this enormous light that freed the world and brightened it for ever. Yup, maybe that's it..

The White House is minimizing the open mike issue. Duh! There is no more telling statement about the trouble this President will wrought if reelected than the words "This is my last election". If I were the Repub candidate, my campaign slogan would be "Don't vote for a President who says he will only tell us the truth after he is elected". And, doesn't have to worry about reelection. Pretty scary, huh.

The two scariest words in the modern world -- "Data Breach".

Silly Me, Department:
I thought the headline, "Obama calls for the Buffet Rule meant that he was going transparent, stepping out from behind the anachronisms and thinly disguised organizational slogans, by saying to all what he has always meant for the country -- Step right up to the US of A Buffet table. Grab a plate and load up. No questions asked. Come back for seconds. Thirds. It's really scary when you consider that a plate is also called China.

In case you missed yesterday's April Fool edition, don't worry -- it was written in invisible ink. But, who knows there may be a few fooleries remaining.

Cody Ross has a Fenway swing. I think he may have just won the Lottery.

The Question:

1. Who were the co-equal partners of Steve Jobs in the founding of Apple? Bonus: Name the two all-time winningest college basketball programs.

The Headlines:

--Suu Kyi Party Wins Myanmar Election; Hopes For Brighter Economic Future Forced Military Junta To Soften..
--Admin Targeting Romney; Will Emphasize Lack International Experience.
--Santorum Says he ill Press On regardless Of Wisconsin Outcome.
--Afghan Soldiers Continue To Weapons On NATO Allies.
--Huge Obama Donor Abake Assongba Accused Of Defrauding Businesses.
--Tids Editorial Board To endorse President Obama In Re-election; Erudite Journalists Point To His Experience In Veiled Promised To Key World Players.
--Country Music Awards: Entertainer of year - Taylor Swift; Male - Blake Shelton; Female - Miranda Lambert; Group - Lady Antebellum; Duo- Thompson Square; Newcomer - Scotty MCreery.; Red Solo Cup Performance Highlighted Evening.

I miss a lot of TV dialogue when chewing crunchy Cheetos.

It's very hard not to believe that the RI Legislature is made up of thugs and bullies.

When an athlete's wife doesn't cooperate in a domestic violence investigation, it doesn't make the sports creep any less of a monster.

If you have any doubts that our culture is in steep decline, here's the first Internet headline I saw Sunday morning as I opened my home page: "Katy Perry wears 'slime' sports bra." Say what?

Self Defeating Helpful Hint Department:
On the front page of the paper Saturday, the editors provided helpful hints on when to go to the DMV to avoid long lines. Not any more!

The more and more I listen to the President and can only come away with 3 conclusions. 1. He hates America. 2. He has never lived in America. 3. He's a total fool. We know he isn't a total fool. So maybe he is just another politician willing to paint America black for a few votes. Oh, sorry about black. I should have said red.

Nothing says the essence of Easter like Mahler's great "Resurrection Symphony" -- Synphony #2.

I see where Al Gore fired Keith Obermann because he could live up to the standards of Al's TV network "Current". Al Gore has standards? Now, that's bigger news than Katy Perry's sports bra.

Diversity gone amok Department:
In Netherlands the Dutch Government is scrapping multiculturalism: They say it will abandon the long standing model of multiculturalism that has encouraged Muslim immigrants to create a parallel society. They go on to say they will shift priorities to the values of the dutch people. Immigrants will have to learn the Dutch language, and no subsidies will be offered to help them integrate. All immigrants must obey Dutch laws with no exceptions, including dress. In essence, the government says, we want our own citizens to "Feel at Home" in their own country.

Kieth Obermann is basically a spoiled child.

A clear example of the media not doing their job is that fourth estate's lemming like pursuit of the Pink Slime story. Not one jumped up to say "Hey wait a minute. Is this really bad for people or just Twitter world hysteria". All they achieved was putting good people out of work, increasing the cost of a solid protein food and killing more cattle. Pretty sad.

How smart are the owners of Current TV? To replace Obermann, they picked client 9 -- leather suited, whip lashing Eliot Spitzer, who was a total arrogant joke on CNN-HLN and produced no ratings.

Speaking of crash and burn, since when did some one think it was a good idea to celebrate sports wins by turning over cars and setting fires?

What if someone in an Islamic country started twittering misinformation to encourage the overthrow of America, and the kids who turn over cars after basketball games said "hey great Idea", and twittered to more un-knowledgeable masses, what would the Press do then.

Almost near: Chapter 65 continues --"Tucker, breathless ran down the hall to his suite. He pulled out his key card and inserted it in the slot. Red light. He took it out, rubbed it on his sweater. Again. Again. Again. Red Light. Red light. His eyes showed the terror of a man on a railroad track as a train bore down. "Rebecca, it's Tucker, Mommy's here with me, Open the door. We're a family Rebecca. You, me, Mom and Sheila. It was always meant to be this way. It's why I fixed everything for you."
He heard motion inside.
"Rebecca?" softly now, Tucker used his charm. Rebecca, Hi."
He heard a click and metal moving against metal. He turned the doorknob, a smile growing on his face. He shoved and shoved. Nothing happened. She had put in place the safety lock.
"Open the door you little bastard!"
He slid to the floor, suddenly sobbing, broken. All I wanted was a family.
Rough arms pulled him up. He saw the face of Detective Sparrow staring him down. It was obvious to Tucker that the Detective would like to kill him now.
"Don't do anything that would ruin your career, John. Tucker looked at him with soulless eyes.

The Answer:

1. Steve Wozniak and Robert Wayne were the other two in the threesome that got Apple moving. Wayne wasn't there long, but his 10% cut makes him worth about $35 billion today. 2. All you have to do is look at Monday's UKU game. Yup it's Kentucky and Kansas, and the are followed by North Carolina, Duke, Syracuse, Temple, Saint John's UCLA, Notre Dame and Pennsylvania.

One of the battles going on in congress now is the corporate tax rate, which is actually the highest in the world (But not necessarily the effective rate). The way I look at is this: Lower the taxes for those who because of free market forces must run sufficiently, or raise them to run inefficient government, citizen burdening operations. Where is money better spent.

A headline says 21 Million from 1941 census "Still" alive. Hey, I'm one of them. Scary. "Still"?

Cuba all over again?

Today's Tids Issue 2,498
Opening Stuff:

Why do I have this feeling that Iran wants to provoke the USA into attacking them?

For sure, the Constitution permits protesters like OWS. But nowhere in that revered historic document does it say that taxpayers have to pay a dime for their continued encampments.

In the irony of the day department, Mark Zuckerberg vacationed in communist Viet Nam which blocks his FaceBook site. So he had only the girl he brought along, Priscilla Chan, with whom to be friends. Which, probably made her almost as happy as the billions in his bank account.

The Question:

1. What was Jon Voight's first big movie success. What was his other major achievement? 2. Jude Law is one of those great talents who makes movies better. Name five of his best.

The Headlines:

--Iran Warns US That It Is No Position To tell Teheran What It can And Can't do.
--After Three Down Weeks, Unemployment Benefits Claims Rise By 15,000.
--Stock Market Could be Mostly Up Today.
--Arab Observers Fan Out Across Protest Mobbed Syria.
--Giant Chinese eCommerce Company Alibaba (30% Owned By Japan) Hires DC Lobbyist; Expected That It is First Move To Acquire Yahoo!.
--North Korea hails Military And Nuclear Achievements Of dead Leader; "Un Officially Named Supreme Leader.
--Last Minute Holiday Sales Have Retailers Smiling; Smiling Until Official reports Come Out.
-- Turn-Out Of More Iowa Moderates May Give Romney Victory.

Two questions will dominate "Pickin' " strategy this final week of the regular season: Who is going to show up? Which of the teams playing each other for a final playoff spot has the inner will to win. Last week's 13-3 brings the year to 161-79 (67%). The meaningful games, and quite difficult to predict games are Tenn-Houston, Jets-Dolphins and the potential winner take all face offs between Broncos- Chiefs, Cinn-Balt, Giants-Cowboys and Raiders-Chargers. Here I'm picking Tenn, Dolphins, Broncos, Cinn (Yikes, Cinn to actually show up in a meaningful game?), Giants and Chargers. In the who will show up match-ups, I'm picking Pats who actually need this badly, Vikings, Saints, Packers, Niners, Colts, Eagles, Seahawks, Falcons and the upset of the day Browns over Steelers!

It seems to me that fancy corporate annual report is another of the new dinosaurs. I remember when the annual report was the annual goldmine for PR People, advertising agencies and graphic designers. Being the "Brochure" for the CEO, the budget was more than robust and the opportunities for extreme creativity practically unlimited. Aaah, the good old days. But, alas, today everybody knows just about everything about everything way before the hefty, costly "brochure" hits the mails.

Have you noticed these days how companies now always end commercials or ads with "See us in FaceBook. Many wonder why don't they just give their website URL like always. It does the same thing for the customer. For the customer/prospect yes, but the company gets way more with FaceBook -- like all of the personal data recorded in FaceBook. When I want to go to a company, I go to the company. I don't need no stinking middlemen.

As I watch the media wallow deliriously in and promote the faux pas of Repub candiates I wonder where they were when the clown Joe Biden and the retrobate Teddy were running. And for that matter other assorted Dem miscreants. It's as if media people grew up in dysfunctional familes, eager to promote similar families as normal while putting down the solid families in the neighborhood.

The Yugo is hands down the worst car ever built. Among other deficiencies, this is a car that actually developed rust spots before it left the assembly line. Nice try Yugoslavia.

Classic Socialist View deportment:
There's a story in the Prov Journal this morning about a successful jewelry manufacturer here, Alix and Ani giving the business department of Bryant University $1,000,000 to help develop a superior International business school that would eventually lead to more companies and jobs coming to the state. One of the comments below this Internet PJ site said, "They should have donated the mil to help people stay warm this winter". That is typical of misguided dead end spending with no leverage for the future being espoused by many, make that most, in the Admin and congress. And why Greece and other government first countries are on the verge of collapse.

There seems to be new momentum building for an Independent Puerto Rico. Does that mean when they are not part of the US, we would have to send them more money as international aid? Probably -- that's the way the bureaucratic mind works, if they're Americans screw em'. If their foreign, illegal or undesirable, give them the key to the vault. It must be the DC water.

The fastest highway drivers, ranked in order, live in Mississippi, SC, Alabama, Ark, Kansas, New Mex, Ariz, Utah, Nevada and Idaho. The slowest are in DC, but then everything in DC is slow. If you want the slowest drever states, they are Hawaii, Rhode Island, Deleware, Oregon, Washington, Maine, NJ, Ill, Maryland and Mass.

Continuing in "Best of-Worst of" year-end reporting, the worst product flops for 2011 are 1. A-F's Ashley Push-Up Triangle -- A padded bikini top for girls "8" to 14. 2. Qickster, the Netflix separated mail delivery division. 3. Obama lauded GM Volt. 129 sold. The GM Chairman said "We were naive to think that people would rush to switch to a limited range EV. 4. HTC "Status" smartphone for easy linkage to FaceBook. 5. Blackberry's "Playbook" was no match for IPad first and Kindle Fire second. 6. The 12 foot long Fiat 500 was no match for the popular Mini. 7. The movie Mars Needs Moms cost Disney $175 million to make and made but $6 mil in theaters.

The Answer:

1. Jon Voight's breakthrough movie was Midnight Cowboy. His greatest accomplishment was his sperm that produced daughter Angelina Joli. I went to High School with Voight and his two brothers, and he was a acting phenom right from the beginning of his Freshman year, This son of a Golf Pro, could swing the club but acting was his love. Some of his other movies were his academy award (Nominated 4 times) role in The Champ plus Deliverance, and Coming Home. Some of his other notable roles were in Rainmaker, Runaway Train and Odessa File. (His brother Wes wrote songs like Wild Thing and Angel in the Morning under the name Chip Taylor). 2. Jude Law was great in The Talented Mr. Ripley, Cold Mountain, Gattaca, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, Enemy at the Gates, Sherlock Holmes, Contagion, Rage and Repo Man.

Maybe Iran is becoming warlike as it saw it's "Most Evil" rep slipping with the potential for craziness by Kim Jung un.

Gotta go and buy some noise makers for my New Years Eve party, mainly to wake me up at midnight! Or is that for the coming 2,500th edition of The Mighty daily Tids! Eeehah.

In the end, the bills will be paid.

Today/s Tids 713 (#2,390)
Opening Stuff:



Who will break first...the Dems or Repubs on the Debt, or the Players or the NFL on the season? I'm going with the Players.

A room upgrade at a hotel is a suite deal!

And then there is the Puppet Senator from RI, Limousine liberal Sheldon Whitehouse, who was just praised by the local newspaper for pressing, "Obama not to capitualte to Republicans deficit-reduction demands." Wouldn't that be like capitulating to Americans who are becoming increasingly scared to death about the growing almost uncontrollable deficit? Isn't this really symptomatic of the entire national problem...Pols going for votes over solutions.

The Question:
Name Harrison Ford's best movies.

The Headlines:

--Wall Street expects Good Day After Good News About China Growth.
--Debt Ceiling Gap between Parties Widens.
--US Army Ranger Awarded Medal Of Honor.
--Italy Says It will Pass Austerity Plan By Friday.
--China's Economy Grew Faster Than Predicted; Good News Eases Inflation Worries.
--Bernanke Back On Hill Wednesday; Sell Your Stock.
--Lybian Rebels Looting Seized Towns.
--Sherwood Schwartz Dies; says He Liked Both Ginger And Maryann.

America's Got Talent Department:
It's down to 48 and most importantly the bad acts are gone. I can watch again. The first 12 legitimate candidates vied last night. My personal favorites were Squonk Opera, Snap Boogie, Anna Graceman, Dezmond Meeks and Duo Aero. The worst of the night was so-called funny man J. Chris Newberg. Close behind him was the talking parrots (I had trouble taking my eye off the woman's missing tooth.). I enjoyed watching the Funny Little People, but don't know what to do with them. i thought I would like The Fiddleheads, but they didn't live up to my anticipation. Bring on the next 12!

I noticed that Sharon Osbourne's biggest criticism for many candidates was the bad choice of music. This from a woman who married Ozzie Osbourne. Where's my ear muffs!

Say what! The calorie counting, nutrition pie chart Queen had a 1,700 calorie lunch yesterday consisting if a major burger, fries, milkshake and ...diet coke. I say good for her. She's human, and she should be. But what I'm really seeing is that the campaign gurus are saying we need the burger joint vote, and Michelle you are the sacrificial lamb. You gotta figure that she's probably happiest of all.

Does that mean that I don't think vegans are human? Hmmmm.

I see where Glenn Beck got a standing "O" in the Israel Knesset...for telling the truth about the Palestine/Israel predicament. He said what the US main stream media won't, and the Israeli Gov/leaders loved him for it. Unfortunately, in the US he has been ridiculed, chastised and relegated to kookiness by a media that hides the facts. No wonder he's off to Dallas where he will launch his own network GBTV! You have to wonder what Boston's leftish PBS station GBH is thinking about that name.

Boehner makes more sense than any of them, but you'll never hear it reported correctly from the media. Think how much better off our country would be if media actually did it's job without bias for either side. If the people don't know, it isn't going to work.

Have you ever seen a more pretentious crowd than when walking through an all organic food emporium? I always have trouble hiding the burger grease on my shirt.

The way the Media immediately ran to the defense of the burger eating First Lady, you'd have to believe that if she clubbed a baby seal to death, they would rationalize the action as saving the cute pups from a more horendous death as food for polar bears. You know, those fuzzy, adorable coke drinking animals who are stopping the US from becoming Oil independent. Yup, those bears.

Weird News Department:
--As Tablets begin to flush away Microsoft profits, Bill gates has decided to reinvent the toilet! Yup that's his next big project. But, this is could be a huge stepo forward for a healthier Africa where water is unavailable and there is no way to safely remove human waste. It may take Gates billions ot do it, but it could save hundreds of millions lives. --Also in Africa, Kenya specifically, it appears that "stinky socks" could stop maleria! that's gigantic. Apparently health authorities find that srtink socks attract mosquitoes by the droves. They just hang the odoriferous hose by traps and Poof!, no more skeeters. Kenya authorities are reaching out to US teens for donations.

For CSI lovers, forget the great William Peterson and magnificent Laurence Fishburn,. It is now time to cheer for Ted Danson. Wouldn't Norm make a great CSI investigator. The series needs a little comic relief.

I see where the US is worried about the vacuum that will be left after the assassination the Afghan President's brother Ahmed Karsei. Ahmed has been described as a politician know for taking kickback, family ties, violence and disloyalty. Hmmm...sounds like Chicago and New Orleans.

Almost Near: Chapter 28 continues. --"Unfortunately, the best I could do was this picture of Samantha Wilcox from our high school yearbook." Dante held up the eight by ten copy and the camera zoomed in.
Samantha Jergans sat there transfixed. That is a pretty, young girl, she thought. I almost think I know her. The Host and Dante continued talking, but Samantha decided she was tiring of their chitchat and was now changing channels to Fox News.
She felt restless this afternoon and the TV was making her more so, not the relaxation pill it had always been before. She got up, threw the remote on the coffee table and started walking around the house looking for something to do. But her thoughts kept returning to Dante and that girl inthe picture. She went back to the living room, picked up the remote and returned the channel to NEN. She just stood there in the middle of the room, the overhead fan blowing her hair as if on the hill near her tree.
"Thank you Dante Wallowalski! Did I get it right!" The host rose with a bright smile and shook his hand. "That is truly an eerie story. Well maybe eerie is the wrong word. But it moved me in a strange way. Do you have a final word Dante?"
Thanks, Clair. I just want to iterate, if you have information to call me at 983 555 1961." Dante leaned over and kissed the host gently on the cheek as the camera went black and then to a comercial about depression medicines.
Samantha stood their with a faint blush. There was something about that kiss that bothered her.

The Answer:
Ford hit it big in Star Wars. His other big successful series movies were Indiana Jones and as Jack Ryan in the Tom Clancy stories. I particularly liked him in Presumed Innocent, Witness, The Fugitive, Sabrina and The Devil's Own. I think that his next, Cowboys and Aliens, has a chance to be a winner.

What really scares me about our global future is the rapid growth of Nigeria and Ethiopia destined to become two of the worlds most populous countries. Let's just hope that Gates gets those toilets working.