My new favorite person on TV is Brandi. And where, you ask, can this Brandi be found? She is on "Storage Wars"! Yes, I am addicted to this series about bidding and discovery in the whacky world of storage locker auctions.

Rats! The Special Tids Cinco-de-Mayo Edition came on Saturday this year and didn't get published. Maybe I was upset because a relatively intelligent woman is heading a campaign to get rid of the word "Illegal" before the word immigrants. You know, the immigrants who who knowingly break US laws by sneaking to country illegally. The people more often than not go onto break more laws by signing up free US cash and goodies which the responsible American citizen never sees. (Unless of  course if they are on Wall Street) We have immigration laws that actually work quite well. Except for criminals. The woman thinks our immigration laws need more heart. It isn't about not having a heart. Here's the deal. If we allow people to pour into the USA willy-nilly, this country now wobbling under a massive deficit will not be able to afford anybody at all. Immigration laws are designed to be as welcoming as pacifically possible, while maintain some semblance of orderly population growth. People who sneak in are illegal plain and simple. And I'm not a racist for saying it; the term the group in charge his using to extort the American at large.

Two words: Bryce Harper.

The Question: What is the tallest mountain on Earth? What  is the largest?

The Headlines:
--US Market Futures Down After French, Greek Elections.
--Hollande Beats Sarkozy; Could Disrupt EuroZone Bail Out Deals.
--Deadlock In Greece Makes Prospects For Coalition Dim; Greece Could Go Backwards.
--Putin Sworn In As New Russia President.
--Biden Represents White House Views As Absolutely Comfortable With Gay Marriage.
--Ron Paul Wins Majority of Maine Delegates.
--Avengers $200 Million Weekend Breaks All Records.

Mike Peters reminds us of the teacher who drove off the side of the road. She was grading on the curve.

A reader suggests that PT Barnum must be scratching at he lid of his coffin trying to get his hands on the modern day world of lemmings.

Only in cities that have made it hard to attract businesses is the lack of taxes from Non-Profit Institutions a problem.

Every once in a while I like to take a gauge of my future by averaging the ages on the obit page. So Sunday morning it was 79.5, and that included one at 28. Take him out and everybody gets another 5.2 years til 84.7.

Two words I'd like to erase from culture: Bail Out

I think the "Trickle Down" theory is a good one as long as everybody acts responsibly. It's a give and give back thing. The people of the US allow business to operate under a free enterprise system and the companies have a equal responsibility to the people. I think they are missing that. It becomes almost unworkable when the government interjects bailout money into a business system that has forgotten about the risk side of the theory of "Risk and Reward. But that's another story. The fact is that the trickle system is not working because companies in the rush to meet WS quarterly demands have outsourced the VP in charge of faucets to Bangladesh.

There's another kind of trickle down system. Athletes and celebs are paid enormous amounts of money and the trickle-down only produces higher ticket prices -- effectively pushing average people into the background.

Delegates are delicate. Handle with care.

The Answer: The Tallest mountain on earth is Mauna Kea in Hawaii. It is 13,796 above sea level and 17,000 below. So getting to the top is moderately easy. It's base camp "0" that's difficult. The largest mountain in mass is Mauna Loa. It has so much mass which creates so much weight on itself, that is crumbling all of the time.

Have you ever been to a surprise wedding? I have. My daughter's. It was a beautiful wedding in a 1750 one room white meetinghouse on a hill with an historic cemetery and nothing else. The bride was beautiful in her special wedding dress...walked down the aisle by proud dad in a flannel shirt and blue jeans. Surprise!