Looking for air holes.

Today's Tids Issue 2,746

Opening Stuff:

Tina Fey still looks like you-know-who from up there near Russia. It seems that The Fey-Poehler duo were properly acclaimed as one of the best Ever Hosting comedians for an awards ceremony. Everybody across the land, except Anne Hathaway, thought they were hilarious. Or, if you were following on-line -- LOL. And they were.

It was quite the scene last night as 100's of smiling glitterati stood in rapturous applause for their guy Ben Affleck picking up the Best Director Award. These are the same smiling hypocrites who make up the vaunted Academy that denied him even a nomination of Best D for an Oscar.

The same glistening audience was even more manic  -- with stars twinkling in the eyes of actresses young and old, hoping to get into the final memoir of only the second President to be impeached -- when the ex-Prez strode on stage. This wasn't merely a proper reception for a former President, it was an orgasmic lovefest.

There is no question in this observers mind, that after watching the Clinton reaction, that 99% of H-Wood would vote for Hillary, work on her campaign and clamor to make a disparaging movie against any republican candidate.

The GM designers are doing quite a good job with the new look Buick. Now if the creatives can only get the suits to change that clunker of a Logo that always interrupts the visual flow, at least to this man's eyes.

You have to expect some serious infighting among Syrian Rebels as they near the finish line, when you consider the big prize at the end of the march is Chemical Weapons. Who is in control of the rebel leadership when it is all over has to be a major concern of countries on the outside looking in.

Too many chefs spend too much time trying to improve classic dishes that have been prefect for decades.

The Question:
Here's a question that is assured to incite controversy. Name the Top Ten Seinfeld Episodes

The Headlines:
--As Debt Ceiling Deadline Approaches, US Treasury Thinking Of Prioritizing Creditors And Paying On Cash Available Basis.
--Obama, Marco Rubio Present Doable Immigrant Reform Plans; 0-Man Expected To Ram His Through As Latest Crown Jewel In Legacy..
--350,000 Frenchmen Storm Paris In Protest Of Hollende Move To Legalize gay Marriage.
--Market Down As Weak American Express Report Clouds Financials.
--Mali Islamists Threaten To Retaliate At Heart Of France.
--Bad Blood Between 0-Man And Netanyahu Cloud US-Israel Relationship; Netty Looks Strong In Bid For Reelection.
--Armed Duo Hold 14 Hostages In LA Nordstrom; One Stabbed, One Raped; Twosome Nabbed.

Personally, I like the portrait of Princess Kate. But then I'm just an average  person who admires what he see's and not a critic trying to finding fault.

The more I view the Washington scene, the more I like Boehner. He has the most difficult job of manipulating and/or rousing support among varying breeds of rascals from both parties. On top of that, he has to deal with the inept Harry Ried from the Senate. You know the Senate, which under loony-man's leadership has failed to approve a budget for nearly four years. A Senate that now wants to eliminate the 60 vote to overrule a filibuster, thus allowing the Dems to further spend the naton into oblivion. And all of the arrows are aimed Boehner. Give me a break.

You have to figure that John Boehner and Amy Poehler have genes going back to the same spot in the world.

There was a less than important story on all of the network's nightly news shows about Whales escaping form the ice up north. I have to think that for thousands upon thousands of years, before the camera, before the internet, whales have been escaping from the ice. And frankly as smart as some human's think those mammals are. they just keep on going back each year to possible death. It's not unlike Americans re-electing bad representatives and wondering why things get worse. We are becoming whales trapped under the ice.

Stephen Spielberg looks as though he walks through life with his head permanently tilted in a perfect camera ready angle.

Speaking of politicians trapped under the ice, we have a host of them here in a RI gasping for air, and especially the revered president of the Senate, Teresa Paiva-Weed. She wrote a rather inane letter the other day to local newspapers about all of her ideas for getting RI back on track. But none of them ferreted out the real problem -- She, herself, Paiva-Weed and fellow henchmen in a State :Legislature owned by unions.

There are a host of new apps that enable a food shopper to use their smart phone to read bar-codes and determine if the particular food item is healthy for their specific diet. It is that potential for living with extreme guilt that will keep me from ever buying a smartphone.

The Cartoon "Non-Sequitor" on Saturday pictured a bar with this sign outside the door: "New Happy Hour: No debates on guns 5-7." Add to that, Gay Marriage.

Ok, I'm a Pats fan. And, I loved yesterday. But I'm really nervous about the next game against the tough Ravens. San Fran Should beat the Falcons., meaning that the Pats will have to go through two Harbaughs to win the Superbowl. And, if we beat the first one next Sunday, you can be sure they will team up to share intel. But, the real secret to the Pats potential success, is those mighty five-seven guys whose names are rarely mentioned -- The Offensive Line.

I wouldn't ever go to a Presidential Inauguration for the same reason I would never be seen at a NYC Times Square New Years Celebration. People.

So tell me again, why am I supposed to be sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for Lance Armstrong to talk to Oprah? To hear a man tell the truth for the first time, when he should have ten years ago. Or is it just to help the ratings of the OWN TV Network, which is basically on life support, gasping for air. Maybe Al Jessera would by it. What a world we live in.

I am pretty happy that Argo won the big award last night. My world lives.

The Answer:
OK, take a minute to read and then start screaming: 10. The Merv Griffen Show  9. The Pen (Jerry's Paent in Fla)  8. The Parking Garage  7. The Muffin Tops  6. The Junior Mint  5. The Pez Dispenser  4. The Fusilli Jerry  3. The Puffy Shirt  2. The Chinese Restaurant and # 1 The Soup Nazi.

The world is a better place when all of the arguing is over the best Seinfeld episode or which NFL team will win next week. Actually, there is no argument over the NFL Championships. It's Pats, Pats, Pats!

"Hey Buddy, who says?"
"I do!"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Your Grandmother wears army shoes."