Today's Screams Issue 5,289
White sheets and orange candy wrappers:
EeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeK? The scariest costume of all this year is one that looks like me. Worn by a cybercriminal who stole my identity. It doesn’t get any scarier than that. Happy Halloween, E-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y! Just be careful when you go trick or treating online. There are a lot of tricks out there.
Why do witches fly on broomsticks? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
For me, Halloween means the candy I'm probably not getting, and if I did, the candy I can’t eat.
One of the fastest growing American occupations is shoplifting. Whatever happened to honesty.
If you listen to Mahler Symphonies, you may find that he always seems to have a passage or two that sounds like bluebirds singing in meadows of white daisies.
Do you know that currently Americans owe $496 Billion in taxes. And I'm afraid to make a $10 mistake in my returns, I guess when you are raised in a catholic grammar school you learn about guilt and responsibility.
The Question:
What do you think are the most popular Halloween costumes this year?
The Headlines:
--Stock Markets Hovering Just Below Neutral For Most of the Day, But fall In Mid Afternoon; Key Earnings, Wednesday Fed Decision and Jobs Growth Report's
--Russia Unleashes Barrage Of Missile Into Key Ukraine Cities; Kiev Power and Water Supplies Damaged in Parts of City.
--U Supreme Court Tales Up Harvard Affirmative Action Case.
--132 Killed in India Pedestrian Suspension Bridge Collapse.
--Wheat Prices Jump 6% After Russia Withdraws From Ukraine Export Deal.
--Israel's Netanyahu Looking to Come Back In November Election.
The skeleton didn’t dance at the Halloween party because he had no body to dance with.
I rarely pick a movie to see based on which stars are in it. It's all about plot for me and often movies with unknowns are better than big star vehicles. But I have to admit, Richard Dreyfus makes me look at a movie review twice.
The NFL was insomnia inducing compared to the Martinsville Nascar race yesterday. I previously hadn’t seen anything like the finish, but I was joined in my wonderment by equally amazed seasoned pros when Ross Chastain beat Danny Hamlin at the finish line by using a video game wall strategy to past five cars in the last turn and a half. What that means is theta Chastain put his car into flat out full speed ahead and let the wall pick up the outward thrust and guide it around the track, and to cross the finish line like every other car was standing still. It really can only be explained by seeing it. And as spectacular as that was getting Chastain into the final four, the Winner of the race, Chris Bell almost unnoticed after Chastain’s feat, over came almost bigger odds to make the final four. He had to win the race outright, an incredible accomplishment in itself. Or he was nowhere at all. On any other Sunday Bell’s achievement would have been unbelievable news.
I have said lately that restaurants that want to be successful have to insert the word “Oyster” in their Name. But that was yesterday. Now the word to riches is, “Bowl”.
I have to believe that somewhere some opportunistic “Media Consultant” is making a commercial around the Paul Pelosi incident to cast Republicans as extreme, angry, threatening zealots.
Why did the ghost cross the road? To get to "The Other Side”.
When you get to a certain level, getting fired isn’t so bad. The Twitter CEO walks out with $24 Million. But that’s nothing compared to college football coaches. Michigan State paid $95 million, Texas A&M 100 million and Miami $80 million for their coaches who have produced next to nothing after a couple of years. They will probably be fired and walk with lots of money for being bad at what they do. Inflation is all over the place
Of, this just in: Auburn U just fired their football coach Bryan Harsin after just two years, They Owe him $15.5 Million. The rest of this story is that two years earlier they fired the previous coach owing him $21.5 Million. Hmmmm, what’s worn with this picture as it relates to the inflated cost of kids going to college.
Actually, knowing I'm inept, I have been preparing a super resume, a little exaggeration here, a little jousting with facts there, that would surely get me hired to a big CEO job with large golden parachute contract. I would certainly be fired in a year, so I wouldn't have to work long before enjoying cushy millions.
While the parent ghosts are busy at work haunting, the baby ghosts are put in Day Scare.
BTW, in my day Media Consultants were basically just advertising executives.
I can hardly wait for election day, so they’ll stop running commercials. That's a pretty sad statement isn’t it. I have come to the conclusion that what I have been seeing in political commercials is basically what your average conman would say to scare an elderly person out of their money.
I say that advertising will never influence me, yet I still judge cleaning ability of materials and fluids as how it measures up to the standard ingrained in the back of my mind, “Squeaky Clean” !
It looks like New Chief Twit of Twitter Elon Musk had to first suspend himself after tweeting a made-up conspiracy theory surrounding the Paul Pelosi attack.
The Answer:
Ok, number one is Witch. It is followed by Spiderman, Dinasaur, “Stranger Things”, Fairy, Pirate, Rabbit, Cheerleader, Cowboy, Harley Quinn, Clown, Vampire, 1980’s, “Hocus Pocus”, Pumpkin, ”Chucky”, Doll, Angel and Batman. Spiderman is most popular in Atlanta and LA, and Fairy is most popular in NY. (This list is from Google Trends and reported by CNN)
Today is National Knock-Knock Day. Knoc,k Knock, Who’s there. I don’t know, my new Video Doorbell has supply chain problems.
