And they lived happliy ever after.

Today's Tids Issue 2,0106
Opening Stuff:

How ironic. How apropos. How delicious. While the TV cameras caressed the body of golf’s all time greatest reprobate (Albeit a talented reprobate), the finale scene was a perfect ending for a beautiful fairy tail with the Prince kissing the battling Princess. With tears running down the cheeks of all who could see. Amidst cheers for goodness and love. It is a perfect ending to a terrific sports event where we weren’t forced into the gutter to find the stories.

Yester-daze is a nostalgic discussion.

“You Can Call Me Ray…” Department:
“…You can call me Jay. But just don’t call me Johnson.” Not so fast Ray J. Johnson. Two of the five most respected US companies according to a new Harris poll of all Americans are #2 Johnson & Johnson and #5 SC Johnson! The others in the top five are Berkshire-Hathaway – 1, Google – 3 and 3M – 4. What you don’t want to be called is BB as in Bobby Bailout – The bottom 9 with the worst reputations in America in the eyes of Citizens and taxpayers are Freddie Mac, AIG, Fannie Mae, Citi, Goldman Sachs, Chrysler, GM, JP Morgan and Bank of America. And you might want to add Nike to that list after their blatantly bad taste commercial in support of their money machine. How about you can call me Eldritch but just don’t call me Tiger.

The Question:
145 years ago today a wonderful General Robert E. Lee Surrendered to U.S. Grant who just happened to be in charge at the end of the war.. Name five top Confederate and five top Union generals. Who are considered the worst generals?

The Headlines:
--Polish Mourn Death Of President Lech Laczynski And 95 Military And Civilian Leaders.
--Two Of Remaining Four Teams In reality Show Amazing Race Are From Rhode Island.
--Nuke Summit Convenes In DC; Aim Is Stop Security Gaps That May Lead To Terrorist Nuke Capability.
--Hillary’s Name Whispered As Potential Supreme Court Nominee.
--New Survey Says Recovery Expected To Remain Sluggish Into 2011.
--Google CEO Says His Company Can Help Newspapers Make Money On Line.
--Kirgyz Riots Said To Have Been Incited By Russia.
--Another new Bailout Plan Has Prospects For Greece Brightening.

Back to More Stuff:

This is the month when the trees in the forests must feel like parents of children going off to war. It is annual report month when millions of pounds of paper are sent to war in effort to justify the operations of companies. And, practically nobody reads them. And the older forests wonder why their children were sent off to die.

Did you hear about the boy trapped up in a tree? He yelled down to his cousin to find his dad. The cousin cried uncle!

The Tiger Woods travesty is just the latest example of the “Too big to Fail” mantra that allows Americans to be conned on a daily basis. While Alan “Not Me” Greenspan soaked in his beloved bathtub, the scammers on Clueless Lane (Wall Street) ran wild loaning money they never had. Knowing that they didn’t have to worry because the government would ever let them fail. And the bailouts, regardless of their apparent success, are in fact the crack cocaine of an addicted financial community. Check this video out. It explains it all in a nice neat, easy to understand package: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/36233217#36233217

Eldritch Woods should be studying avian science. Yesterday, two Alaskan eagles apparently got caught up in the throes of intense lovemaking in the air. They forgot about the rocky cliffs. In there irrational exuberance, they came crashing into the cliff, killing the male and seriously injuring the female. She is still in a dazed, confused state but has been overheard saying, “It’s never been like that before.”

Editors Note: For years now I have been labeling Wall Street as “Clueless Lane” primarily for either their inability, ineptitude, or maybe strategic disinterest in guiding the fortunes of the average investor. They appear to have no sense of what’s happening and seem to have a profound incapacity of seeing warning signs in advance of disaster. But, to call them Clueless, probably isn’t fair – considering the fortunes they have built for themselves building products that nobody understands. So basically, they are good for themselves.

If they are experts, why were they surprised that Woods did pretty well at the masters?

Sarah Palin would be better if her voice wasn’t so screechy. But don’t tell that to the apparent millions who adore her…or at least what she says.

Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 65 continues. –After I had learned what I had wanted from Henry, I spent the rest of our meeting trying to gracefully get away. Henry likes things to just wind down pleasantly. It would do me no good to push to get out. Although I must admit I was starting to exhibit some of my inner sensations as I looked forward to seeing Sarah.
But, Henry didn’t stop or ewven look like he was winding down. He seemed to be on a mission. “Did you ever meet Bromsky’s niece Laura?” He paused, “I mean did Seymore ever bring her to the office where you might have met her? I don’t say a word. I simply continued my stony posture for about ten seconds. “Laura?” I quickly added, “She was one of the vandals, wasn’t she?” Then, “Why do you ask?”
“Well,” he started, “She is becoming an intriguing person. I know you are a good observer of people and thought you may have seen her at BiEm with Bromsky.”
“I have seen her,” I quickly responded, “But I can’t tell you where.” Henry nodded.
Then He looked at his watch and quickly said slowly but strangely abruptly, “Well, I gotta go. Good to see you Kent.” He stood and reached out his hand which I shook. Henry was thinking about something. I left with head full of new questions.

How to Ruin your Superficial Credibility Department:
Sally Quinn, one of those basic elite liberal minded columnists who fool wanabees by writing and speaking well, started a discussion about the Obama/Palin flap over Nukes by actually saying “She (Palin) didn’t say ‘Nuclear’ correctly!” How tired is that? What it means to me is that Quinn thinks that Palin probably got the upper hand in the Prez/Gov skirmish. Nucular. Nucular. Nucular! I love to watch English majors squirm.

BTW, if you look back in time, nuclear has been pronounced nucular by Eisenhower and , surprise, Bill Clinton. Jimmy Carter pronounced it “newkeeuh”.

Do you have the feeling that the Pope is employing the well proven Bill Clinton strategy of deny, deny, deny until the reporters get tired of talking about it?

For nearly twenty five years I have used the type font “Century Gothic” as the basis for my little company’s standard look for invoices, proposals, letterheads, fax covers etc. This morning I learn that experts say it is the most efficient typeface for saving ink! Hey! I’m an environmentalist!

I received a letter Saturday form the Dean of something at Lehigh U informing me and fellow fraternity brother alums that our Chi Phi was being brought up on police charges resulting from some hazing activities. The letter suggested that it might not go well for our undergrad group at all since they were still on probation for something like cocaine distribution! Yikes. But here’s the funny part. My inside unnamed source writes to tell me that, “One of their pledges, for some reason that I will never understand, wrote his English paper on how he was hazed at Chi Phi. The English teacher turned it into the police.” Now here’s the big question. What kind of English teachers are we tuning out these days?

The straw poll from the latest Republican confab in New Orleans has Romney and Paul tied at the top at 24%. Second is Palin and Gingrich tied at 18%. In the previous GOP get together the straw poll had Paul at 31%, Romney at 22%, Palin at 7% and Pawlenty at 6%. Romney did weel despite being the only no show candidate in NO. He was out there explaining his Mormonism to Christian groups. Seems to be working. He, Sarah and Newt made the biggest leaps forward. And coincidentally the three recently have made the boldest anti-Obama statements.

You have probably heard about Spirit Airline’s announcement of a $45 charge for carry-on luggage. Chucky “I never miss an opportunity to spout” Schumer says he is going to do something about it. Here’s what you do about it Senator Socialist, Nothing? Do you have any concept of the American free enterprise economic model? If people don’t like it, they’ll find another airline. If they are dumb enough to pay it they’ll get ripped off. It’s the same thing as letting banks fail. If you are stupid you get burned.

My current personal favorite politician is Michelle Bachman.

While the papers are filled with congressional investigations and personal injury lawyer assaults on Toyota, Forbes announces the new list of “America’s Worst Built Cars (and Pick-ups)”. Tops is the Cadillac Escalade followed by the Chevy Aveo, Chevy Colorado, Dodge Nitro, Ford F-250, GMC Canyon and Jeep Wrangler.

The Answer:
Tops for the South after the brilliant Lee were Stonewall Jackson of Clarksburg WVa, P.G.T. Beauregard, AP Hill, George Pickett, Jeb Stuart, James Longstreet, John Pemberton and Jubal Early. The North had problems finding aleader among Ambrose Burnside of RI, George Custer, Abner Doubleday, George Meade, William Tecumseh Sherman, Phillip Sheridan and George McClelland. Most of the Top 10 Worst Generals were form the North – The worst was Butler followed by McClellan, Burnside, Bragg, Siegle and Banks all USA. Then comes the first and only CSA, Gideon Pillow followed by Buell, Rosecrans and Kilpatruck.

Musings:

Doesn't it appear that a lot of the common sense opposition to this run-away Congress and admin is coming from the Southern states? Let's all hope they win this war!

House of Cards and earthquakes.

Saturday Shorts:
Opening Stuff:

I find it kind of scary when I realized that more and more we buy stocks and elect “leaders” using the same principle – Popularity. Do we live in a new world where two of the key legs of a society – the economy and the government – have a chance of being entirely superficial? Without any substance at all. Are two of historic strengths of our nation now just mere houses of cards relying solely on the whimsical minds of publicists and ad guys? Makes you nervous, doesn’t it?

I don’t know about you, but announcements of new electric cars with a battery life of 100 miles does not impress me. How nervous would you be wondering whether or not you have enough juice to get home? You would probably have to add some kind of a delay factor of about I0% to each trip plan. And then you have to have the faith that the indicators on your dash boards are accurate. Oh, I forgot, these new computerized cars are failsafe.

There is no such thing as running out of ideas. Let nothing bog you down.

The Headlines:
--Massive 8.8 Earthquake Devastates Chili; Aftershocks Are Giant 6.9 On Scale; Tsunamis Threaten ¼ of Pacific Ocean Countries; Hawaii Issued Tsunami Warning.
--Fannie Mae Needs $15.3 Billion In Government Aid After 4th Q Loss.
--Banks In Nevada And Washington Become 21st and 22nd Shut Down This Year By FDIC.
--3 Key Senators Rewriting Legislation That Would Disguise The Hazardous-To-The-Economy-And-Mental-Stability-Of-Logical-People “Cap & Trade” Travesty; Softer Version Would Just Slowly Suck Out The Guts Of America.
--Prime Time Says He Will Announce HC Strategy Next Week.
--US Rushing To Aid Chili.
--Suicide Attacks Continue To Kill In Pakistan.

Back to More Stuff:
Is it me, or are earthquakes bigger than ever and more frequent? With out getting into some pretty complex math, here’s a simple description of damage potential as indicated by the Richter Scale: 4-4.9 – light: Noticeable shaking of indoor items. 5-5.9 – Moderate: Major damage to poorly constructed buildings over small area. 6-6.9 – Strong: Destruction across 100 miles. 7-7.9 – Major: Serious damage over large area. 8-8.9 – Great: Serious Damage over several 100 miles. 9-9.9 – Great: Devastating across several 1,000 miles. 10+ -- Epic: Has never happened.

I never send along emails from people who try to make feel guilty if I don’t send it or threaten some kind of demonic intervention or a visit by the IRS. Oh, that’s the same thing. We have to have little rules in life to keep things orderly.

In fact, the Tids has a policy 25.2-A sub B that strictly forbids the urging of forwarding this daily morning morass. We don’t good readers to lose friends.

Despite her proclivity to Prima Donna-hood, Lindsey Vonn is one tough woman.

It’s about this media concocted controversy over the Canadian women’s celebration. If I were there I’d light their cigars. My understanding is that the Olympic village is one wild place. These women just celebrated their magnificent achievement out in the open on ice that was the place of an enormous victory for them –and their country. I’ll pop a Diet Coke (Or Pepsi – I’m going for sponsors) to them any day or night. Loosen up.

No Soul Department:
Like so many on this subject, the headline read: “The NY Democrat brushes off ethics finding.” These politicians of ours have long ago escaped the oppression of guilt, morality and conscience. Some people measure the greatness of politicians by their ability to bypass basic morality better than others. “It’s just the way politics works.”, they say. I’ll take ethics and honesty any day.

One of the great unsung woman of our times is Annette Downing. Annette died in 2002. But her legacy will live forever. She almost single handily saved Providence and all of it’s 18th and 19th century homes and buildings from modernization and redevelopment. Not only did she preserve history, but her steady campaign helped keep that big city downtown from becoming just another blight. And forcing people to move to the suburbs where additional land would be desecrated. You would be hard pressed to find a more beautiful place than Annette’s city. A modern place that has never forgotten it’s incredible history. Oh, maybe the politicians have forgotten.

Danika Patrick has become the Michelle Wie of racing.

When is Spring Training going to end?

Yesterday I made some remarks about Goldman and the “biggest bookie joint” in America People who don't know what Credit Default Swaps (CDS's) are, will naturally assume something fishy is happening. In the Greece situation, Goldman loaned the beleaguered country an upfront payment for a revenue stream later. For instance, Goldman may have sought to protect itself against heavy losses from Greece because it was uniquely exposed to those losses. The terms of the swap meant that GS essentially made an upfront payment to Greece in exchange for a later revenue stream. If Greece defaults, Goldman loses. In other words, GS short trades against the Greek debt is a prudent precaution. It is a form of credit protection – Buy short trades against assets such as loan and swap obligations due to them. It is easy to complain about these complex CDS’s, but here they were used exactly what they were created for -- to hedge against scary long positions.

One of the real issues here isn’t about Goldman actions but about the forthrightness of the Greek government. The Goldman money is masked from the total debt obligations of an entity, in this case a country. The EU would the see on the application to EU a different balance sheet, a leaner one. This is one of those issues where ethics are trumped by legality.

Want to read more: Check this out:
http://www.businessinsider.com/goldman-sachs-shorted-greek-debt-after-it-arranged-those-shady-swaps-2010-2

I leave you with this poem from the Letters to the Editor section of the Providence Journal:

Why do they call Republicans Red and Democrats Blue?
It seems the opposite would be true.
Red is for Socialists, leftists and commies.
Blue is true blue: the flag, apple pie and mommies.
Who voted for this? Who made it true?
I’m not a Democrat, but I sure am blue.
             -Joe Thompson, RI

Oh well.