The Pats are ruining my Winter*

Today's Tids Issue 2,207
Opening Stuff:

That rumble you hear is the pounding in the hearts of surfers as they await the anticipated wave action created by Danielle’s romp thorough Bermuda.

After last night’s Pats Pre-season game against the formerly lowly Rams, the Pats fans are getting restless.

0-Man has been pretty effective at creating government employee jobs. But, like census workers and eventually infrastructure workers, they are temporary. And none of them are value added jobs. Jobs that leverage America’s economy. Unless…unless…we can export the US government. Which would not only improve the trade deficit but keep the pols and bloated executive branch workers out of the country regulating our world competitors into submission instead of our own hard working people.. Works for me. Don’t immigrate. We’ll send our government to you.

The Question:
Here’s poser for most: Name five of the best know Yoga masters.

The Headlines:

--Carter Gets Gift Of Gomes From Kim.
--Stock Markets Wary In Advance Of Bernanke Remarks; Expect Word Of Slowing Economy; Many economists Downgrading Predictions.
--1 Million More Displaced By Pakistan Floods; Rumors Say Taliban Targeting Foreign Aid Workers.
--Danielle Now Cat 4 Storm.
--Scientists Discover Two Multi-Planer Solar Systems.

Back to More Stuff:
Reasons Why Gambling is a Bad Idea:
A woman working a smaller independent pharmacy in Cranston RI embezzled $294,000 to play Keno. Her total winnings over that 18 month period was $20,000. Bad odds! Even worse when you are stealing to feed an addiction.

The Tids has been monitoring the arguments for and against Kindle and Kindle wanabees versus newer multifunctional devices like iPad. The first bit of news is that you have to be a reader who buys 35-75 books to get a payback on your kindle purchase. It is cheaper to order paperbacks from Amazon or drive to Borders than to download to kindle. So basically, Kindles and imitators aren’t for everyone. They’re cool, but not necessarily cost efficient. Now…if you got a free download of the daily Tids with each Kindle book, now we’re talking bonanza!

Note to Taliban attacking foreign aid workers. It’s “Foreign Aid workers” and not “Foreign workers with Aids”.

The con man pulled the wool over the couple’s eyes and they were fleeced.

In Rhode Island we have a long term 2nd District Congressman who in my eyes just exists much like an employee of the Department of Motor Vehicles. He just happens to be a democrat with a sympathetic life (He is in a wheelchair due to a shooting) in a overwhelming Democrat State. I heard one of his Republican potential opponents describe him as a “Nice Guy who is just part of the growing big government problem.” I think this is a good expression for many of the candidates going after incumbents.” One of the issues in American politics is the reelection of incumbents often based on the faulty logic: “The government is in big trouble but my guy isn’t part of the problem.” These folks should realize that your guy is a nice guy be=ut because he there (Often as a log in a chair) he is part of the problem”.

I still think playing the Superbowl In NYC Whoops – New Jersey) in February is a stupid idea. It’s the kind of decisions you get when money trumps intelligence.

As a kid who loved football in the 40’s and 50’s, you couldn’t help but carve out a large piece of your heart for the Cleveland Browns of Paul Brown. Who didn’t dream of becoming Otto Graham, Lou Groza, Marion Motley, Dante Lavelli, Max Speedie, Bill Willis, Frank Gatski, Ray Renfor and Mike Noll just to name a few.

Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 91. –“Where have you been!” Isabelle looked up at me as I entered her office that now had the feel of a fortress. Then she smiled. “I’ve removed your girl friend from our account. Our funding is secure. Our lawyers have been talking to the FDA regulators and FBY and we are making good progress. So, I have been busy while you were mysteriously among the missing.”
I said nothing for a few seconds. “Why should you be concerned about what I was doing when I’m not.” I looked at her unmoved and unnerved. “You’ve got to get out of your panic mode. It doesn’t look good. You could do something really stupid.” She turned red. She knew I was right. I always am.
Instead, she changed the subject. “Your friend is a loose end,” she started. Now I was worried. “We have to do something about it.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I mean that Sarah Durham is much to smart to have hanging around.” I knew that and the more you tried to squash her, like Izzy already ahs, the more determined she becomes.
“Let me handle her.”
“I already have…and it isn’t working. I’ll take care of her. She is on her way into Boston, just as we suspected she would when we removed her from our account.”
I looked at her emotionless, but heart was racing. “Ok, do it.” Arguing with her was not the solution. I” have work to do”
I returned to my office and dialed Cotter.

Reading between the Lines Movie Reviews:
--The Last Exorcism is a Blair Witch style documentary of an exorcism. In fact its tied to the BWP. And tries to recall memories of the frightening Linda Blair. But it fails to scare in this hand held camera style documentary style movie about a sham southern preacher who laughingly takes on and exorcism project only to find that something real is happening. But, be prepared to laugh.
--Takers is a well cast film about two very slick bank robbers and two dogged detectives. The thieves want one more big heist before they retire. Unfortunately a disgruntled former bank heist mate squeals to cops. The ending’s a very cool surprise you will never guess.
--Piranah 3D. A tremor unleashes giant man-eating fish. You can guess the plot…and the special effects.


Quiz Answer: 
Think of this question as educational. Top Yoga people are Dean Ornish, Linda Folin, Kim Eng, Bryan Keat, Sharon Gannon, David Life Dahrman Mittra, John Friend, Rajshree Choudury, Gurmukh Khalsa, Swami Kriyannanda, Beth Shaw, Shiva Rea, Gary Kraftsow, Ana Forrest, David Swensnson, Sean Corne, Larry Payne, Lisa Walford, Krishna Kaur, Saul David Raye, Sara Ivanhoe and Vinnie Marino. I’ll go with Vinnie!

The new age:
Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Have an ethereal weekend.

*This is a paraphrase of the long time mantra of suffering Red Sox fans.

Come back America.

Today's Tids Issue 2,195
Opening Stuff:

Frankly, I can understand the reaction of the Jet Blue employee who just got fed up with discourteous passengers and said No Mas! I have, as I’m sure you have too, seen some of these inconsiderate, maniacal people clamoring for overhead space and wildly cramming oversized stuff in the meager shelves. Elbowing people aside, squashing the things of other people who were already secure (They thought) in the storage space. Air travel is the most blatant continuing example of the de-civilization of society.

BTW: Incase you have noticed, Jet Blue flight attendant Steve Slater is America’s latest folk hero. And he will make millions. Guaranteed. And he was right. Maybe he’d like to take on state and local governments next!

Even though several of our readers yesterday in response to the title of the Tids -- “Chocolate or Gin” --overwhelmingly went for Gin (Or vodka), it flew in the face of what’s really going on in the world. A report this morning from a contributing Tids economist and nationally recognized women’s business leader tells me that the Nestle Company is reporting world wide increases in the sales of their yummy products. And a profit increase to $5.2 Billion. Sales are up 11.7% in Asia, Africa and Oceana and 7.5% in the USA. As our contributor says, “When the going gets tough, the tough eat chocolate.”

Vanity Fair is about to publish a puff piece on the 0-Admin offering many excuses about why things aren’t going well there. The big excuse, released early for publicity purposes, is that the “Job is too big for one man.” That doesn’t seem very supportive.

The Question: Since the Kennedy Family prime time show is just about ready to “Jump the Shark”, I thought I’d give you a quickie quiz on the American publicists favorite dysfunctional family. Name Mom and Dad and all the original kids.

The Headlines:

--Stock Markets Down 60 On Jobless News and Cisco Report.
--First Time Jobless Benefits Claims Rise Again.
--GM Posts $1.33 Billion Q2 Profit; Ready To Go Public And Pay Back Tax Payer (Just in time for November elections.)
--This Just In: GM CEO Whitacre To Step Down In September.
--Cal Judge Vaughn Walker To Rule Today On Whether To Stay Prop 8.
--Kusinich Joins Liberal Attacks On Gibbs.

Back to More Stuff:

Actually, I try to keep chocolate in my golf bag, but by the time I need it, It’s melted. While most people mark their balls with dots, lines or squiggles, I just say mine’s the one with the brown stain.

The big question this morning as the USA PGA Tournament begins its four day competition at the tough and imposing Whispering Straights on the shore of Lake Michigan: Will another affable foreign golfer win yet another Major? Remember the times past when all American players and teams had to do was walk on the field, court or course? And the rest of the world stood in awe.

As bad as it appears in golf it is worse in tennis. After the Williams sisters in women’s tennis, you have to go to #57 to find Melanie Oudin. Rounding out the top 5 are #75 Varvara Lepchenco and #91 Bethanie Mattek-sands. And the men are even a little more discouraging with Andy Roddick the first to show at #11. Next are those household names John Isner (19) followed at 21 by Sam Querrey. Rounding out the top 5 American men are old warhorses Mardy Fish at 33 and Taylor Dent at 81. There must be a whiz kid awaiting down in Florida somewhere.

So, it was nice yesterday after watching 10 year old Jackie Evancho to see that the US kids talent scene is a lot more than a bunch of cookie cutter teen pop songsters. She was so good that it was hard to believe that such a powerful, mature voice was coming out of this child. Wouldn’t it be great for the rest of the world to see that American teens are capable of applauding a talent beyond the cute music promoter’s vehicle of the Month. If you haven’t seen her here’s a place to go: http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2010/08/11/jackie-evancho-on-americas-got-talent-tiny-angel-with-a-mature-voice/

The “Jobs” bill assures us that the US is rapidly becoming Greece.

When you take the “Free” out of Free Enterprise and replace it with “Government” as in Government Enterprise (Where we appear to be moving at a rapid pace) you get a system that just can’t work. Could this admin be trying to destroy capitalism with spending.

As the Veggie-Burger gang ups the war against lovable old meat eaters it is good to remind our selves that lysteria monocytogenes bacteria risk from Salads is much more prevalent than any bacteria from a good burger with bacon and cheese…and maybe a few crispy French fries on top. Hold your ground and don’t let the veggie vandals get to you.

Did you hear about the marathon runner who won by such a large margin that he had to wait ten minutes for “a rival arrival”!

Seriously…I never buy factory bagged lettuce or factory boxed hamburgers.

The “Jobs” bill has virtually destroyed any chances that we taxpayers had of reforming the out of control budgeting habits of state and local governments.

The Answer: 
Of course everybody remembers dad, Joseph P. Kennedy a lovable womanizer and barely legal businessman with alleged ties to mob bosses through his bootlegging operations;. And of course the saintly Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy who had to close her eyes to the exploits of hubby Joe, And then there were the children. Joseph Jr. who was killed in WWII; President JFK who was essentially responsible for the Kennedy barrage of the senses; The tragically lobotomized Rosemary Kennedy; Kathleen Cavendish Marchioness of Harrington who died in a plane crash in France; Eunice Shriver; Patricia Lawford; The liberal darling Bobby; Jean Smith; And of course the Chappaquiddick Kid. That said, I still believe that JFK was far and away the best President at Press conferences and public occasions. Except for that trumped up birthday party at MSG. So how many of the kids could you remember?

The End:
I f you haven’t noticed by now, this “Jobs” bill thing really, really bothers me. It is a firm kick in the butt to all of those who think that the citizens have something to do with the running this country. I have had it today. Tonight I’ll eat chocolate and tomorrow will be sweeter. Guaranteed.

Gin or chocolate.

Today's Tids Issue 2,194

Opening Stuff:

One of my favorite all time songs is “The Big Rock Candy Mountain.” Not only did put stars in the eyes of kid who loved sweets, but was a great country western tune. And I was then and am today a big fan of the pluckers and twangers.

I had to laugh when reading the bios of principals at a financial planner firm I saw that one of the younger people had come directly from the Mashantucket-Pequot Gambling Casino. How appropriate is that?

And this note from the Tids resident statistician: “If you stood next to a single file line of everyone in china, and they started to walk by you at a reasonable walking pace, the line would never end because of their rate of reproduction.” So you have to know that China is deadly serious about becoming the worlds largest economy.

The Question: Who was the first Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Name 5 other Chairmen. (Hint Harry S. named number one). Which two Presidents haven’t named any? How many each did the other 10 presidents since Harry name?

The Headlines:

--WWF’s Linda McMahon Leads Group Of Washington Outsiders Who Won Primaries Last Night.
--Stocks Retreating As Fed Goes Conservative On Growth Estimates; China Reports Smaller Manufacturing Gains.
--US Trade Deficit Widened By Huge 18.8% In June.
--11 Killed North Of Baghdad.
--Muslim Holy Time Of Ramadan Begins This Week.
--Ice Island ff Greenland Could Be Major Shipping Hazard.
--Fires In Russia And Mudslides In China Overwhelm Populations.
--Record Low Mortgage rates Have Little Effect On Home Sales.
--SB Champs Saints Practicing With Pats In Foxboro.

Back to More Stuff:

What all of these new government programs are proving fairly conclusively is that good companies that used to work very well are now looking very inefficient as they act as middlemen for government programs. Simply…Things used to work and now they don’t. And if things keep on going the weay they are, nothing will work.

OK, let’s call it what it really is. The “Jobs” bill is in reality the “Public Employee’s Union Bill. And, it is the latest in a series of moves where 0-Man and his congressional henchmen pay back the big campaign investment from the Unions. This presidency is all about the unions, pure and simple.

I saw a story in the newspaper expressing amazement at the new and rapidly expanding collection of spy, conspiracy shows and movies. Did these geniuses ever stop for a moment to think that there are millions of apoplectic, depressed ex-“24” fans huddled in dark corners hungering for a glimpse of anything that might resemble Jack and Chloe in action?

Are you starting to get the idea that Separation of Church and State is not operative when dealing with Muslims? I am.
,
Poetry Department:
You’ve got to love this from a 15 year old student in Arizona: Now I sit me down in school, Where praying is against the rule, For this great nation under God, Finds mention of Him very odd. // If scripture now the class recites, It violates the Bill of Rights. And anytime my head I bow, Becomes a Federal matter now. // Our hair can be purple, orange, green, That’s no offense; it's a freedom scene. The law is specific, the law is precise. Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice. // For praying in a public hall Might offend someone with no faith at all.. In silence alone we must meditate, God's name is prohibited by the state. // We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks, And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks... They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible. To quote the Good Book makes me liable. // We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen, And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King. It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong, We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong.. // We can get our condoms and birth controls, Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.. But the Ten Commandments are not allowed, No word of God must reach this crowd. // It's scary here I must confess, When chaos reigns the school's a mess. So, Lord, this silent plea I make: Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Is Levi Johnson on track to become the next Kim Kardashian?

When making your favorite Quiche it is always a good idea to bake your crust before pouring in ingredients.

Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 89 continues. –I nodded to the security guy as I walked into the house where they were keeping Laura. “She’s upstairs”, he offered as he barely looked away from “The Price is Right”. Looking at a slug like that made me wonder what I had really gotten myself into.
I didn’t understand my feelings as I got involved in a scheme that I could rationalize scientifically, but not in terms of human life. And I knew Isabelle was driven, but not heartless.
Laura made me feel good, but I didn’t particularly like her. I opened the door and she sprang up from the bed where she was lying and stormed towards me. Her fist slammed my chest, and my arms came up to grasp her upper arms. “Where the hell have you been? Out with the old woman?”
“Laura, Laura, my love…”
“Don’t you give me that ‘Love Me’ crap”, she screamed. Just get me out of here.” And then surprisingly she laid her head on my chest and felt the heaving of sobs. I didn’t know what to say. I just lifted up her head and looked into her tearing eyes. Eyes that were reddened well beyond her current emotions. This stone hearted woman had something else in side her. I kissed her. And she responded.
After a few moments, I was getting aroused. She would be dragging me over to the bed.
“Not now”, I whispered reluctantly. Two times in the last two hours I’m saying not now. “Look, we have to get you out of here without calling attention to your absence.
“You’re getting me out of here?” She sounded like a little girl. Maybe form a childhood she never had. Was Laura always an adult? She hugged me harder, but it wasn’t sexual anymore. It was something she may have never experienced.

The new "jobs" bill is the latest bailout that will encourage bad budgeting and and general all around irrationality. Just as the first bailout ensures a continuation of destructive risk taking on Wall Street, this latest dole will justify inefficient management of government and education.

I loved that Big Rock Candy Mountain because I envisioned lakes of chocolate, lemonade streams and peppermint trees. In actuality, the composer Harry McClintock was writing about gin, cigarettes and how to get by on other people's money by avoiding work at all costs.

The Answer: 
 There has been 17 between Harry’s choice of Omar Bradley and today’s Adm. Michael Mullen. In between we have had Colin Powell, Maxwell Taylor, Nathan Twining, Earle Wheeler, Arthur Radford, Lyman Lemnitzer, Thomas Moorer, George Brown, David Jones, John Vessey, William Crowe, David Jeremiah, John Shalikashvili, Hugh Shelton, Richard Meyers and Peter Pace. Ford didn’t and 0-Man hasn’t named a Chair. Harry – 1, Ike – 3, JFK – 1, Big Spender Lynden – 1 Nixon – 2, Carter – 1, Reagan -- 2, GHWB – 1, Monica’s Pal – 3, GW – 3. There were 12 Generals and 5 Admirals…and Shalikashvili was the hardest to pronounce. Kind of a dumb question, wasn’t it.

The End:
Did you ever have one of those mornings when your computer just sat there and looked t you. It didn’t -do nothin’. Just an hour glass sitting there. It must be a humidity-in-the-sand thing.