Scotch is Good.

Today's Tids Issue #2,352
Opening Stuff:

One of our more practical and intelligent readers says that on Tidless Thursday, he is going to get out of bed, go down to the kitchen, grab his favorite bottle of Dewar's Scotch, and jump back into bed. I thought most drown themselves in scotch after they read the Tids.

People are putting so much of their lives on their cell phones, that if the phones are stolen the owners may go on missing persons lists. They won't know who they are.

A new Gallop Poll says tat 52% of Republicans would like a third party.

The Question: 
 Three NBA players are tied for the most all time selections (9) to the "All Defensive Team". Who are they?

The Headlines:

--Mississippi Crests At Memphis; Moves Down To attack Vicksburg, Natchez And New Orleans; Could Reach Highest Levels In History.
--Prez Apporval rating Back To 60%; 50% Of Americans Say He Should be Re-elected.
--Major Tea Party Group -- Tea Party Express -- Is First To Make Noise In 2012 Election
--First Obama-Care Challenge At Appeals Level Goes Before Obama friendly Virginia Court.
--Gingrich Team Leaking Facts About Possible Candidates Past; Will He Announce Soon?

Back to More Stuff
The new congressman from RI, David Cicilini has but a 17% approval rating. This just after about 3 1/2 months in office. Of course everybody with half a brain knew of his inadequacies, except the single lever voters and the Providence Journal.

An aspiring doctor who gets divorced goes from pre-men to post-wed.

There must be a lot of bodies in Rock Creek Park, DC, because just about every novel based in that city uses it as a dumping ground for serial killers, international operatives and and disjointed congress people committing suicide. Watch where you step.

Well...I have to admit that Congress Cicilini is doing something unheard of in Rhode Island. He's giving Republicans a chance for hope in the 2012 elections. Yesterday the former respected State Police Chief Brendan Doherty announced his candidacy and it is expected he'll be running in a tough primary against the popular John Loughlin who should have beat the ex-Mayor weasel last November. Let's hope the Repubs don't eat their young as usual.

I always say, the candidate the Dems fear the most will be the one they slime the most. I think Gingrich will be one of those. He is, even with all of his potential closet skeletons, a very smart guy. And if there is anything that is true, Liberals fear intelligence. They have never known how to handle the facts.'

0-Man would be better off if he didn't try humor. He always comes off as a small mined elitist. Oh yeah, while at the border yesterday, "Mr. Let's All Get Together" did what he does all of the time, ridiculed the opposition to the point where there is no chance of anybody getting together. Don' hold your breath for one nation under God.

Almost Near: Chapter 20. --There is no more pleasant life than that which I find in my dreams. Of you walking by the harborside flats. Wavelets lapping over your bare feet. Kicking clam shells strewn about the gristly sandy shore, Your hair magical as it flairs from gentle breezes, framing your face. Your smile that reflects the gleaming morning sun filtering through a forest of masts; Halyards flapping against metal like birds waking for the day. --
Samantha Jergans was at peace as she drove into town and parked. She felt the familiar ground under her feet as she walked up the step and opened the door. Heard the tinkling of the little bell. She smiled pleasantly to herself. "Mrs. Fletcher!" She strode towards the familiar figure at the back of the store. The gray haired head rose and the the face turned to a frown as she saw Samantha. "Have you seen Tucker?"
"Samantha dahling" she said in that comforting New England way of hers. "Are you all right?"
"I've never been better."
"You look a little well...distraught." She paused as if trying to analyze the features in Samantha's face. "And your clothes are a mess."
"I've been driving all night."
Mrs. Fletcher nodded but she wasn't sure she believed. "Well, Tucker left town just after you did. Didn't he ever find you."
"Oh, I should have left a note. I had to see my parents." The two women stared at each other. "Well, I guess I'll just go up to Tucker's place and wait for him. Has he called anybody?" And then Samantha turned and walked out without waiting for an answer.

Sign found under a Fire Alarm and a box with a red button reads:
"For HELP:
1. Push RED BUTTON
2. Or YELL"
Who needs hi-tech anyhow.

The Answer: The three are also some of the top all time offensive players -- Michael Jordon, Kobe Bryant and Kevin Garnet.

Remember, no Tids tomorrow. But, I'm thinking Friday is going to be terrific. Drink scotch and hang tough.

The Big Bubble.

Today's Tids Issue #2,351
Opening Stuff:

The Nanny state will inevitably become like the iconic "Boy in the Bubble" for mankind. This dangerous trend of universal mothering is destined to become so overly protective that the natural biological and psychological resources of humans will over time be compromised forever. The body and mind will cease to be able to react to or anticipate potential dangers on their own, always waiting for something or a coddling hand. Of course, this intrusion on daily living and responsible decision making that should go with it is the result of power-grabbing by politicians and profit-nabbing for marketers.

Think I'm overreacting...check out this new app for your smart phone. You go to a restaurant and order your favorite meal. Before taking a bite, you open the app (One is called "MealSnap), take a picture with your phone and the databank of 500,000 foods sends you back a calorie count. Then you apparently look down at your meal and say Jeez! Enjoy you meal sucker. The app also advises you to twitter a friend ( maybe with a cc: to Michelle!) about this dangerous meal as part of the next new phase of our Techno-Culture known as "Social Accountability". Do you know how happy I am to be rapidly fading from this planet? Death or BS? Hmmmmmm. Tough call.

Oh, while we are on this downslope away from optimism, there is a 99% chance that there will be no Tids on Thursday. repeat No Tids. No American Idol recap, No novel. No morning warmth to rouse you delicately form a good nights sleep. Just an empty computer screen. I know, it is tough. I hope you paid your "Tidless days Insurance Premium"! But hey! i'm giving you two days warning to make a date with your psychoanalyst!

One good reader likens the upcoming US China meet that would have Geithner, Hillary and Bernanke sitting down with the China heirerarchy as "The three Stooges meeting the law firm Dewey, Cheatham & Howe.

There are many in the country who believe (Or are at least rationalizing) that Capitalism has lost its way and is not the economic engine of the US of A any more. In fact this is a powerful group of people who want us to believe that the country would be served by an economic system based on "I want" versus one of value added that is in fatc the foundation of solid economies. While the public sector is certainly a part of the "I Want" economy, there are many too many professions that want to be paid on that basis as opposed to the economic value of the offering. And that goes from baristas to hedge fund managers.

Daily Question: There is a nice new survey out by the company Millward brown that names the top 100 Most Valuable Brands In the World. Even as the US is written off as a fading giant, most of the brands continue to be -- guess? -- US. What are the Top 10

Today's Headlines:

--Strong Chinese Trade Data Bumps Up US Stocks.
--0-Man's Latest Campaign Project Today At The US/Mex Border Will Be An Announcement That Lays Out A Blueprint For Immigration Reform.
--7.1 Earthquake Hits New Caledonia Region In South Pacific.
--Microsoft Buys Skype For $8.5 Bil Cash; Company Says It Will Them Get Stronger In Internet; Experts Wonder How.
--Japan Announces Lowering Of Future Energy Expectations From Nuclear.
--As 0-Man's Numbers Rise, Dems Get Cheeky About taking back Congress In 2012.
--NATO Bombing Tripoli Initiates Advances By rebels.
--Arnie/Maria Marriage Terminating.

Did you read where tourists are flocking to watch the Mississippi flood waters decimate farms and people's homes. Aren't we carrying "Reality Show America" just a little too far.

Since in all likelihood you will be facing a Tidless Thursday, here's my American Idol predictions in advance. I believe we will see the continued growth of Scotty. James and Haley will mesmerize. I think Lauren will rise to the occasion. When it is over there will be a gigantic, collective silent awe. Everybody will look like a winner. On Thursday's results show there will be a duet that brings down the house featuring James and Haley and all of those who voted off James, yes James, will be stricken with extreme guilt. What a great season this is!

What ever happened to Braun coffee makers. Especially the simple one. That 10 cup compact unit that did a good job and didn't take up much space. Reasonable price and good looking. Good things just conintue to disappear from the face of the earth..

A reader sends along this disparaging news. -- The U.S. House has sneaked a provision into the Federal Aviation Administration appropriation bill that allows nonvoters as no votes in Union-Certification Vote counts. This would mean that evn when there are more actual yes votes than no votes, the workers would still lose out. Is it legal for congress to pass laws that endorse a big lie?

The announcer on the radio said: "Good news for the Rhode Island economy. The big gov is sending up a few hundred million for Amtrac. And that, really is the problem, isn't it? Nver havingto worry about making a state palpable for businesses, because when times look bleak big daddy will break open the wallet. All we have to do is look North of Worcester, Mass at the old Fort Devins land now has a gigantic new Bristol-Meyers Squibb Operationa and an IBM factory. Companies aren't avoidng New England, they're avoiding RI> wake up.
Here's my bluepirnt for immigration reform. Criminals who snuck in get deported, and immigrants who went through long established procedures, like millions did before them for centuries stay here on the path to citizenship. And don't bore me with the rhetoric that the little children aren't at fault.

Anything that is touted as part of a major political campaign primarily to woo one specific voting group, is highly unlikely to be good for the country as a whole.

Almost near: Chapter 19 Continues. --"I know where the Quimpieres live. Frankly, they have been in the news so many times over the years that some reporters just routinely stop at their place on the way into work!" She turned and smiled at Tucker as she weaved crisply through the traffic of rush hour Little Rock. "But first, lets get you into your bed. I think you need more rest than you think you do." And she quicikly added, "See I am more than a cold hearted reporter. I can be quite mothering."
"I don't quite view you as my Mother!" Tucker reached over to playfully grab her arm, but she moved it away. He withdrew it meekly and then spent the next minute trying to figure out what to do with his hands and arms. He could see that Audrey was trying to suppress a laugh over his apparent guilt.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to send you into a state of apoplexy." Then she reached over a grasped the top of his hand.
"You're forgiven," He said in a fatherly sort of way. She put her hand back on the wheel. "I really think Bounty cares quite a bit about the disappearance of his brother. And I also think he feels that Samantha Quimpiere had something to do with it. He could be helpful." Tucker sat there looking out the window thinking. "I also think he could help us with the aunt Florence in Louisiana. I had a weird feeling about that when I called. And what about the children. What kind of kids were they?"
"I can hardly wait until I pick you up in the morning." She brought the car to a stop under the Hotel Coverway, and opened the door before the car slowed to a stop.. She ran around to open Tucker's door. He was still trying to reply something to her last comment.
You are fast!" He smiled as she helped him out.
"No wheel chairs here! You're on your own." Then she let him use her for stability as she walked him to the elevator, and eventuality up to the room door.
"Want to come in? I'll order down for a drinks." He looked both hopeful, but also tired like as though he really didn't want her to say "Great idea! the way she would say "Great idea."
"Oh, that would be nice, but I have to get back to the paper. You know, I'm a working girl, but this hotel isn't on my beat." She smiled mischievously. He smiled in that admirely way that man might as he feels something new about a women he just met.

Quiz Answer: Number one is Apple (Valued at $153.2 Billion) which just passed last year's winner Google. Te rest are IBM, Mv=c Donald's, Microsoft, Cocoa Cola, AT&T, Marlboro, China Mobile and GE ($50.2Bil). Apple soared based on Tablets and Smart Phones while Google took a hit after a couple of lackluster new product intros. Face book made the biggest jump up to 35th spot with a 246% increase in value to $19.1. Oh yeah, The Marlboro Man lives. Send out the health brown shirts. The bubble is breaking. The bubble is breaking.

If the Tids is sounding a bit weird today, it may be from the alignment of the planets Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune and Uranus.

This was one of those blank paper mornings. Now look at the damage I've done.

There are Facts for Everything.

Today's Tids Issue #2,360
Opening Stuff:


Considering the reported increase in asthma nationally, concurrent with the demise in smoking and increase in cleaner air, I can only conclude that smoking and bad air are good for you. If you don't catch cancer along the way.

Biggest rip-off of American consumers after bottled water has to be the ever-growing ATM fees.

How can we ever expect to see world piece when we continue to have cavalier litterers and malicious computer hackers and virus creators -- two groups of people without a conscience.

Golfers around the world were saddened at the death of Seve Balestaros, a man who not only created excitement in every match where played, but also was considered the golfer who brought the European Tour and the Ryder's Cup to the prominence they enjoy today.

The Question: What significant role did John Pemberton play in the American culture? Bonus Q: The most accomplished Spanish athlete of today broke down in tears at the news of the death of the wonderful Seve Balestaros. Who is he.

The Headlines:

--Geithner, Hillary, Bernanke To Head Team That meets With China's Hu Jintao Principals In High Level Talks; US Deficit, Currency Rates And Human Rights To be Lead Topics.
--Mississippi Rising; More People Leaving Homes.
--Pakistan News Media Outs CIA Station Chief.
--Apple Passes Google As World's Most Valuable Brand.
--Denmark, China Lead World In Clean Tech Energy; US Is 17th.
--Greece Asks For Adjustments That Would W+Ease Bailout Payback.
--Congress Having Trouble Justifying Continuing Aid To Pakistan.
Sunday Stabbing Is First Murder Of year In providence RI.

Economic analysts have just reported a significant uptick in consumer credit card usage. Now some are saying that portends well for the retailers. I'm thinking it is all because of higher gas prices.

Giving birth is a labor of love.

South County (RI) Swamp Yankees are gathering around ponds this week as they anticipate the ever exciting worm mating season. It is expected that the Internet will reach those enclaves in two years.

Parade Magazine yesterday paid tribute to Moms by highlighting four women -- Patrcia Heaton, Julie Bowen, Monica Potter and Martha Plympton. The first three are happy moms with several kids, while Martha is but playing a role of a TV Mom. So, are they trying to tell us that raising fictional children by the script is the same as having children of your own.

The "Pink Toenail" controversial sparked by a J. Crew ad showing a mom painting her sons toenails pink, just tells me that in this misguided drive towards sexual homogenization we have gotten way too far away from the basic truth that "Boys will be boys and Girls will be boys" and Vive la Differ'ence.

As far as I can see, Twittering is the ability to talk endlessly about nothing.

When the government gets to that point of micro managing everything in the the lives of citizens, I'm expecting that Major Legue Umpires will be heading up all Cabinet posts. Talk about giving too much power to lunkheads...

If I accepted that marriage was defined as joining together to get free things from the government, then I'd be sympathetic to this latest of emotion ridden causes against centuries of tradition established and defined by the word of God.

Almost Near: Chapter 19 continues. --"You look much better!" Audrey rose and walked towards Tucker as the nurse wheeled him into the waiting room.
"He's all yours!" The scrappy Irish nurse smiled and pushed the wheelchair towards Audrey who broke out in laughter at this affront to litigation. "Be gentle with him, she winked. he's a little fragile."
Audrey blushed a bit "But, we're not..." The nurse was gone before she could finish.
"We're not what? Tucker asked.
"We're not brother an sister!" She glared over at Tucker. Comon'. Get up. You can walk."
"Hey, I'm fragile, remember?" Audrey reared back as if to punch Tucker in his bad arm. He flinched. She laughed.
"I'll drive you to your hotel. You can fill me in on your talk with Bounty."
She helped him into the car and then went around to the driver's side, got in, turned the key and put the shift into reverse. As she looked in the rear view mirror, she said casually, "Oh, by the way, thanks for trying to save me."
They started moving through the hospital lot out into the road where she turned right. "I think Bounty could be useful. I'm going to try to find him tomorrow. Let's hope that the police weren't too rough on him. You with me?"
Audrey smiled, "Hey, I'm a reporter." She turned her head quickly to glance at him. And then accelerated.

OBL's last FaceBook entry was, "Be right back. Someone's at the door."

Here's a humorous observation from a reader. If Harry and William had a stripper at the bachelor party, all of the money they would be stuffing into a g-String would have pictures of grandma on it!

The Answer: 
1. John Pemberton was the pharmacist in Atlanta who invented the formula for Coca Cola. It doesn't get any more American than that. Bonus Q: Raphael Nadal the Number 1 tennis player in the world upholds Spain's pride. Yesterday while beating Federer yet again, he only thought of Seve, his friend.

Oh, and did you hear about the hot new drink in better bars called the binLaden? Two shots and a splash of water.

Thanks to all of the readers who continually keep me current with the latest fad jokes.

"Political Realities".

Today's Tids Issue # 2,359

Opening Stuff:

The "Wall of Worry" is looking steeper than ever these days. (When stock prices are rising regardless of market uncertainties -- Political and Economic risks -- the market is said to be climbing a Wall of Worry.) Nowadays, I would call it a Humpty Dumpty world, as the inevitability of a round man falling and crashing from atop an unstable wall has become a certainty. Stocks have been forced higher with weak support. We're nearing the summer pull-back time and potential weaker earnings reports in the July period. Nobody really has any idea of how the Middle East will shake out. An over stimulated Commodities market is free falling. Hey, I am far from being a financial genius. Just a casual observer. But the signs are definitely there to reenter the cautious mode. You don't want to end up with egg on your face...right Humpty?

If a child gets an "F" in Mothers Day Card Making class, will mom care at all when she opens the envelope?

Herman Cain? Yes Herman Cain -- Black businessman, former Godfather's Pizza Chairman -- won the first Republican debate hands down says a focus group panel after the action. And, he didn't just win by a vote or two, he dominated the night with over 90% of the 30 or so panelists saying he was by far the outstanding person on the stage. Some of these many Republicans who came in favoring no-shows Romney or Gingrich or Palin or Trump said they had already made up their minds now to go Cain. Panel moderator Frank Luntz said the overwhelming support for Cain was "unprecedented"! Their favorite Cain line: "We need the Government to get out of the way so business can create jobs teh way they always have."

The Question: George Clooney is 50 today. Name his top ten movies. Bonus "Q": What ever happened to Talia Shire after Rocky?

Today's Headlines:

--Unemployment Sneaks Back Up Over 9% Even As Job Gains Of 244,000 Is Far More Than Forecast.
--China Presses US To Tackle Its Huge Financial Deficit.
--Mississippi Flooding May Be Highest Ever.
--After Strong April, Retailers Now Worry About Effect Of High Gas Prices On Future Buying.
--Hillary Warns Of Effect Of Global Food Shortages And Rising Prices On World Stabilization.
--William Returns To Work After Wedding With Two Helicopter Rescue Missions.

American Idol: The best Four remain. My gut tells me that Scotty has more voting support than any of the others. And, Haley is emerging as perhaps the most talented of all. I just have a sense, though, that she doesn't connect with the big voting blocks. I have grown to like Jennifer Lopez as person after watching her these weeks. But, frankly, I don't think she is that great a singer. I would definitely go to a Lady Antebellum concert over a J-Lo any day.

If the Dems didn't start shouting "Republicans want to kill seniors" so fast immediately after suggestions about looking sensibly at ways to fix the very expensive Medicare, then we might be able to get some reasonable suggestions together about reorienting the massive spending. And, it doesn't help that the media never calls out the false hysteria of their Donkey pals.

Reading Between the Lines Movie Reviews:
--Thor is a well done super action, mythical, fantyasy story about the son of Zeus banished to Earth as punishement for reigniting a reckless war. The military gets curious when they impound Thor's mighty Hammer also propelled to Earth. Thor makes friends with earthlings, but soon a dangerous villain from his world shows up with evil on his mind. Of course the earth folks are dragged into Thor's battle. It is fun.
--Also good fun is the nice little movie Something Borrowed. Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin) and Dex (John Krasinski) have been friends since childhood. Dex is ready to marry Rachel's best friend Darcy, when the two old friends discover that they have really been in love all of their years. Aha...how to tell Darcy who is also a nice person played by Kate Hudson. So the audience is torn, because there is no despicable character to root against, unless of course it is the delightful couple themselves who have been jumping in bed behind Darcy's back.
--The big wedding is planned on Martha's Vineyard by a very upscale, socially sophisticated Black family. The other side is a nice family, but a socioeconomic divergent family who thinks a nice wedding should include a "Jumping the Broom", a tradition of old slave families. The movie is soap operish and revolves around a revelation of dirty secrets. I thought the trailer looked kind of annoying.

Ginnifer? What kind of name is Ginnifer?

Almost Near: Chapter 19 continues. --"Audrey came running up the alley, as a police car, lights flashing came to a screeching stop out on the street. She hugged Tucker, but then caught herself and stepped back. "Oh sorry!" She smiled.
"Hey, that's ok. I need a little warmth after being mugged by a character from Deliverance!" He grabbed his right shoulder and started rubbing it. Audrey squinted as she saw him wince with pain. She came over and put her arm round his back for support. He looked down and just said softly "Thanks. I think I'm tying to be too brave." A policemen walked up and flipped open a notebook.
"I don't think Tucker has time for that right now. Let's get him to a hospital." Audrey was so positive that the police man immediately grabbed Tucker's good arm and helped him to the police car.
Just before he got in, Tucker reached over an squeezed Audrey's hand and looked into her eyes. Thanks."
"No problem. I'd do anything for a romantic fool!" And then she smiled as though the sun had flooded the bleak alley.

Locals will be on the lookout for Bill Murray, Francis McDormand, Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Tilda Swensen and Jason Schwartz (Son of Talia Shire) who are shooting the movie Moon in the neighborhood. I am already reluctant to see it because it is directed by the same person who gave us critically acclaimed "The Royal Tannenbaums". I tried to get into that movie not once, but twice, and found it annoying both times as I quit before the half way mark.

With some veiled threats against Daffy by Hillary yesterday, coupled with the OBL takeout, it appears that the Presidential campaign is playing its Gunslinger card. No more Kimbaya for this White House until around November 8, 2012.

Nothing 0-Man does is coincidental when It comes to getting elected. And that includes going to Ground Zero yesterday and the Michelle-Jill show of support for the American soldier. It is all part of what I suspect is their "I am not a Wimp" campaign. It is not unlike Bush making Education, a Dem stronghold, his centerpiece.

I hate being picky, but could they have drssed Jill and Muscles more poorly for that shoot? -- Jill in a bad looking satin Biridesmaid cocktail dress and Michelle in a go-to-Farmers-Market sleeveless mess.

History is always more than what is written.

If you see a nude Muslim walking around, it's probably a pretty good indication that he is a al Qaida member not wanting to be shot by SEALs.

The Answer:
Clooney is prolific. The big bunch includes The "Oceans" series, Good Night and Good Luck, Syriana, The Perfect Storm, Out of Sight, On Fine Day, Charlie Wilson's War, Michael Clayton, Burn After Reading, Up in the Air, and the every awful Men Who Stare at Goats. He waas also in The Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, one of my favorite all time names for a movie. Bonus Q: Talia started well in the Godfather and made it big in Rocky. But since then as been in a succession of marginal movies. Actually she has been in 25 movies sines the end of Rocky 7 and Godfather III, and I have never heard of any of them except I think I love Huckabees.

I don't quite understand how after watching the raid at the OBL Motel, the White House keeps on changing the facts of the actions.

Without question, the biggest detriment to the future of the US of A is Political Realities. Political Realities is the antonym for courage.

The Ugly Human.

Today's Tids Issue #2,358

Opening Stuff:

As unfathomable, horrendous and destructive as nature's killer tornadoes can be, they pale in their terror when compared to the vile hearts of humans who run in to loot and swindle the helpless victims.

To release or not to release... That is the question. Yet, it really is so meaningless at a time when all of our energies should be in working to stop the frivolous (That's another name for Political) governmental spending and the reduction of a killer debt and deficit. The time for political diversion and sniping over meaningless arguments should become the white elephant of American politics.

Daffy has been seen roaming his Libyan compound looking over his shoulder for SEALs.

The Question:
What was the original name of the Declaration of Independence? And, why was it so named? How many copies of the great document are said to exist today?

The Headlines:

--Rising Old man River Threatens Disaster Over Broad Areas Of Midwest.
--New Jobless Claims Jump To 474,000, Highest In 8 Months; Analysts Were Hoping For 410; Market Futures Tumble.
--Osama Raid Puts Relations Between US And Nuke Power Pakistan On Edge; Pakistan Warns US About Future Raids.
--Boston Bruins Skate Past Philly For Comfortable 3-0 Series Edge; Or is it?
--GM 1Q Profits Up To $3.2 Bil On Strong Sales In US And China; Net Gain Includes $1.6 Bil From One Time Sale Of Delphi Automotive Parts Group.
--Strong Easter Sales Bumped Up April Retail Results.
--Traditional Families In RI Decline 15% To 72,675; Lack Of Jobs Have Families Migrating.
--Kate And William To See California In July.
--Fifty Tears Ago Today, JFK Signed The Minimum Wage Bill; The Wage Was Set At $1.15/Hr.

Back to More Stuff:
If the Bruins go on to sweep, does that make it, like, curling?

American Idol: Before Haley's finale after a Ho-Hum Gaga, a rousing and body moving "House of the Rising Sun", I was ready to concede that the final three is now looking like James, Scotty and Lauren. I was amazed frankly at the way Scotty took ownership of the stage with his energetic "Gone" and then mesmerized with "Always on my Mind". For me, Lauren had on balance the best dual performance. And wow, can James segue from hysterical to sweet as though there are two living in one body. You know, Jacob tries really hard, but i am tired of him. And besides, before last night "Love Hurts" was one of my all time favorite songs. If the final four isn't James, Haley, Scotty And Lauren, than my "Heart" hurts.

A report on the 25% growth of asthma among Americans says one of the possible reasons for the rise is that kids don't get into enough dirt like they did in the older days before massive nannyism. Like the coddled lungs, a pampered person, an entitled person will always be mired in the meager results that comes from mediocrity.

Why Africa may never get beyond third world status Department:
In Tanzania young albino girls are being raped because of a belief that this is a cure for AIDs. Male albinos are being murdered because of "Black Magic" effects. Meanwhile fat and happy brutal dictators condone outrageousness while living off of US financial aid packages.

I was surprised to learn that with 1 million people living in RI, there are only 72.6 K traditional families. Asuming 4 to a traditional family, that gives us 290,000 family members leaving over 710,000 students, waiters, waitresses, homeless, surfers, fishermen and baristas.

If it's orange, I'm going to eat it. And I'm not talkin' citrus.

Yesterday, RI historians and good citizens announced the development of the new Providence "Independence Trail". The world and counrtry are familiar with the famed Boston "Freedom Trail". The Providecnce trail is considered by many to be even more significant. As some have said, the Boston trail is known primarily because Harvard wrote the history books and they only knew Boston. In fact, the founders of that university and the governing body of the Boston settlements were profoundly jealous and intimidated by the true enlightened leaders in Providence and Newport who were making real progress in the freedoms that became the basis of what has made America great. The Boston story is largely a pleasant myth. But, they got all of the sports teams, and I guess that's what really matters.

Speaking of Boston Myths...the Celtics, even in their greatest days of historical achievement, always were second fiddle to the Boston Bruin hockey team. The Bruin's fans were the heart of the city. If you had lived in the city or the towns around Boston, you would have seen kids boncing pauls up the street. You.s see kids with hockey sticks over their shoulder with skate dangling walking to or waiting for a bus that would take them to a pond or flooded ball field.

I really hate the NCAA College Football playoff "system". But, I really, really hate the idea of the Feds forcing the heads of the NCAA bowl structure to do it the government way.

Almost Near: Chapter 19. --The pain in Tucker's arm was making it hard for him to pay attention to the hulk grinning at him with yellowed teeth. He had dragged Tucker out of the cafe and around the corner and into an alley where a stack of cinder blocks become a conference table. Then Bounty had just stared at him. The sister just sat, now silent, knowing that this was her brother's show.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you. I may just punch you a little in your bad arm." He smiled broadly. "Sting a little?" He laughed loudly at his joke.
Tucker remained silent. Let him talk. Find out where this should go. "Ain't you gonna say somethin' We could be friends. Cause my pervert brother and you liked the same woman. That makes you like him. Do you know anything about him?"
Tucker shook his head no. The shoulder hurt like hell, but he felt it easing a little. Tucker looked over at the sister. She was quiet. Staring at Tucker. She might have been pretty, Tucker thought, if she wasn't so sloppy looking.
"Look," Bounty stepped closer. "I dated this girl named Samantha 18 years ago when I was in High School. She left town at a time I thought we would get married. I had no idea where she went, and pretty much forgot about her until I met somebody a month ago who looked a lot like her. She didn't seem to know me, but this woman was very attractive, so I started taking her out."
Now it was Bounty's turn to remain silent. "My guess is that Samantha came out here after she suddenly left me. That's all I know."
"I don't believe you."
"That sounds like a nice love story, Bounty."
"Shut up Agnus!"
In the distance sirens got louder. Let's go Agnus. I'll be lookin for ya sissy boy.
No, I'll be looking for you, Tucker thought as the two ran off down the alley.

The Answer:
The declaration Of Independence was known as the "Dunlap Broadside", named after the Printer John Dunlap who printed hundreds for distribution to the states and towns. There are estimated to be 25 copies in existence. But the message still resounds.

The End:
Are you ready for Moms and nags? After you buy the flowers and chocolates, run to your bookie. The odds just released have the top three Kentucky Derby choices as "Dialed In" 4-1, "Uncle Mo" 9-2 and "Nehro" 6-1. The longest odds at 50-1 are for "Watch Me Go".

The Good Old Days:
Remember when the Middle East peace process was only about Israel and Palestine? And everybody knew it had no chance.

Stop the spin.

Today's Tids Issue 2.357
Opening Stuff:

Tid's Alert: Donald Trump wants to see bin Laden's Death Certificate.

Numbers savvy Democrat RI Treasurer Gina Raimondo said in a speech to business people yesterday: "If you remember one thing from me this afternoon, remember this. Fixing the state pension system is not an issue, it is the issue. Our state retirement debt is an anchor holding holding our state back and preventing our growth into the future." If we can allow the facts to drive the discussion for a couple of years we the country will be a better place...again.

A Napa Valley Day Care Center is called a whinery.

Bush refused the Prez invite to join him at the 911 Site Thursday, but thanked 0-Man for it saying it his policy to stay out of the political spotlight. Or, maybe it is because for 2+ years 0-Man has blamed Bush for everything wrong with the country from the economy to Harry Reid's lack of a brain.

The Question: A good movie question always has a chance to be a winner in the hearts of Tidsters. This about Romantic Movies where the beautiful love story ends tragically. Name what you think may be these the top ten sad ending stories.

The Headlines:

--US Adds 179,000 Jobs; Addition below Hoped For Estimates.
--Nate Leaman Promises New Era Of Success For Providence College Hockey.
--Smaller, Gas Saving Cars Lead The Way To Strong April Auto Sales.
--M&A Activity Buoys Markets In Early Trading.
--Congress Expected To Debate Continued Aid For Pakistan.
--Questions Arising On International Court Of Opinion About The US Shooting An Unarmed Man.
--American Indians Complain About using name Of hero Geronimo As Code Name For Mass Murderer Osama.
--Conservatives Win Majority In Canada; PM Harper Says There Is No Hidden Agenda; Relax.
--Downtrodden Portugal Negotiates 3 Yr. $115 Billion Bailout Package.
--US Officials Say The daffy Survived Blast.
--In The Aftermath Of The OBL Killing, RI Gov. Chafee-Lite Says We Shouldn't Celebrate Violence.
--Chaotic Uprisings Continue In Syria, Libya, Yemen, Bahrain.

Back to More Stuff:
Everything I read about the NFL contract problem seems to  revolve around the appeals regarding the lockout decision. Hey, nice little legal puzzle for lawyers, but does nothing to move forward an agreement for a contract. It gives cause for back patting by Union and Management groups, but furthers nothing that may give us a decent football season. Because after all of this legal dust settles they still have to sit down and put together a contract that is good for both sides and doesn't ruin a good formula for a great sports league

Obama is going to Ground Zero. Yet he never visited on the occasion of any of the anniversaries of that dreadful date. He alienated families of the murdered by giving support to the Mosque around the corner. I believe that the people should always come together under the President. Any president. The country just has a chance of working better that way. But, when they are in high political campaign mode, it is just hard to become comfortable about what they are saying.

Almost Near: Chapter 18 continues. --"You are one of the most spectacular woman I have ever met'" Dante, stepped aside and pulled open the door to the lobby of her motel. "Seriously," he went on. He caught up after letting the door swing shut and turned to look at her, not completely as a man in love but as a person respecting another. "Why didn't I ever know you in High school? Who did you date anyway?"
Samantha smiled and nodded at the compliment, and then took in a deep breath. Questions, questions she thought. Stop staring at me she silently warned with her eyes. Her eyes that had lost their glow became forbidding. She noticed Dante's eyes shift away towards the coffee urn on the side table near the front desk. "I think I was too young for you!" She tried to laugh pleasantly to make him feel at ease. As much as she feared getting close to him, she needed him now.
"I kind of remember you. I guess I was too old." Again he turned towards her.
How did you remember me, Dante?, she thought. What was I like?
They sat and had a cup of coffee and made plans for the morning at the police station. After about a half hour, Samantha yawned, looked at her watch , "We've both had long tiring days." He agreed and they rose and walked towards the elevator.
The bell rang announcing the third floor, Samantha's floor. She waited for the door, and as she turned to say "Good Night" to Dante he leaned over and kissed her gently on the cheek. She pulled back quickly and shoved him away with both hands. Dante stumble slightly but his head hit the wall forcing him to one knee. He stayed head bowed for a few seconds, and then while rising his head and un-clinching his eyes, "Wow, you are tough! I'm glad we didn't date in high school." and he laughed as he looked up. But she was gone.

Michelle Obama has created a new group for general discrimination -- the Overweight! The health nut bigots love to sneer down with disdain to their lessor larger. Give people a reason to hate and they will. Sme people just need an underclass to survive in their own narrow minds.

There are too many people who when saying they do morning crunches for their stomach mean they're eating potato chips for breakfast.

Speaking of breakfast, the Food KGB now want to take the fun out of a good old fashioned May breakfasts, particularly delightful annual occasions arond here in RI. One of these haughty nags took the time to add up all of the calories (And the Newspaper co-conspirator gave the column featured space). the writer suggests revisiting the thought to have breakfast fun some Sunday morning. Stupid I say. But here's the real crock in her convoluted reasoning. She warns that your breakfast will add 1,500 calories from eating a stack of buttered syrupy pancakes, several Johnnycakes, scrambled eggs, Bacon, Muffins, white toast Orange juice and coffee. Talk about maliciously stacking the deck. You can't trust these people.

Signs of the Times Department:
The United States Army is testing "Green" ammunition! There is no truth to the rumor that "Green" means that each shell contains vegetable seeds, pretested in Michelle's garden.

In my continuing effort to call out little government actions that morph into new intrusions on a free and unencumbered life, I'm not going to call out the RI Senator who has already introduced 73 bills at the State House. No, this is about the Fed's latest assault on Advertising. It's the Guidelines for advertising to children. In the Fed statement it says "We will let you market...". Let me repeat that, "We will let you market only foods that have significant amounts of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, low-fat milk products, fish, extra lean meat, eggs, nuts,seeds or beans." How is a kid ever going to develop a good, comforting diet of Cheetos? Huh? Tell me that.

The Answer:
We start at #10 with The Notebook. Then we have Donnie Darko, Atonement, Titanic, Badlands, Romeo & Juliette, Bonnie & Clyde, Vertigo and Casablanca. And the Number one Romantic Movie with the sad ending is -- Gone with the Wind. "Frankly, I don't give a damn. I just needed a Question.

The End:
The Dem spinners are just going crazy over glamorizing the Obama involvement in the Osama death. Hey Politicos, I think Americans gets it. The more you tout the more your guy starts to look political. He did fine being presidential. And I know most regular Americans appreciate it.

The average of 7 major Polls taken during 4/30 and 5/3 has the Prez at 5o.6% and 43.4% disapprove. The NYT's/CBS and WashPost polls have him way up 57%/37% and 56%/38% respectively. Probably not a good time for Repubs to announce.

Ain't nothin' bad happenin' here.

Today's Tids Issue #2,355
Opening Stuff

Aaaaah May. Don't you walk into May thinking that this is the month that's blessed and where nothing bad ever happens. It just unfolds pleasantly into growing beauty. Our bodies slow and the anxieties dissipate. And then of course there's Mom. Maybe that's why May was chosen in the first place for Moms. The comforting, consoling caressing month. Enjoy it.

Warren Buffet wonders why investors waste their money buying gold. Gold produces nothing. American will only get back on its feet when capitalism does what it does best; Making positive investments for better future enterprises. Companies that produce jobs. Gold doesn't produce jobs. He adds that the government will have nothing to do with the resurgence of America. It's all up to the innovators and the creators and the smart investors who put money behind them. Investors who buy productive assets...not assets that sit in safes looking shiny.

If Trump does well in a Presidential run, you have to figure that one of the Kardashians is next.

Here's the really Good News about the strong profits that are pushing up stock prices: These are not accounting, dressed-up profits, but profits based on the strongest sales increases in 3 years. An analysis of the revenue picture shows manufacturers buying to ramp of production for expected increased consumer spending.

The Question: May is also the Kentucky Derby month. Which horse do you think are considered the all time best?

The Headlines:
--Osama Shot And Killed In Pakistan Luxury Compound By US Navy Seal; Obama Announces Take-Out Of Radical Islamic Killer After Highly Secretive Raid; Bush Calls It "Momentous Achievement.".
--Ground Moves Under Ground Zero In Quiet Elation.
--Ayman al Zawahri, Egyptian Born Doctor, To Head al-Qaida; US Remains Determined To Wipe Out al-Qaida.
--US Warns Of Anti American Violence After Attack; Islamists: "bin Laden Death Will Not Mute Jihad Call.
--Stocks Rise, Oil Falls After bin Laden Death Announcement.
--Misery Continues In Alabama, Southern States. Death Tolls In Alabama Expected To Rise; Death Tolls Approaching That Of Last Major Tornado Outbreak In 1976.
--Ann Curry named Co-Host Of NBC's Today Show.

Back to More Stuff:
Don't overcook Department:
The Tids food editor threw a hissy fit this morning about the lack of Tids Time recently. So, here goes: Cooking shrimp is often elusive for some even though it looks fairly straight forward. There are six ways to cook them -- Boiling, Broiling, Grilling, Sauteing, Steaming and Baking. For boiling, dump in boiling water, bring back to boil and cook according to size from 2-3 mins for small to 6-8 for jumbo. The key -- when taking out of water douse in ice water to stop cooking. Personally, I think you can get away with a little more when grilling, broiling and sauteeing. Overcooking to mushy is less critical. I like to sautee on high heat turning often. I think you get a great texture, and a better flavor. Another tip...bake for shrimp cocktails. Yup, just place in pan, drizzle with OO, a little salt. Bake at 400 for 8-10 mins and cool. Another tip. Sometimes cooked shrimp looking beautiful in the supermarket case can be a little watery and loose that crunch. Check one after buying. If watery, dump in boiling water for a minute and then ice. (Actually, I look for watery SM shrimp when I make my grilled shrimp pizza with Alfredo sauce. They dry out real nice. But, that's another day.)


Weathermen viewing the destruction in the South say that without question the climate is warmer and there may be an inclination to jump to the conclusion that the warmth is the cause of the tornadoes. But they also remind us that the last major cluster of tornadoes similar to this year took place in 1976 when weather scientists were warning of a new ice age. And that it must be the cold that was causing the outbreak, they proffered. Take your choice, hot or cold.

In the tellin' like it is department, you gotta admit that Prince Andrew's (And Fergie's) daughters Beatrice and Eugenie at the Wedding looked like Cinderellas evil step sisters.

At least Bill Clinton would have said "I feel your gas pains." But, Obama the elitist just can't get down with the people. He is so intent on pushing alternative energy and using the gas prices as a tool to make his point, that he just talks over the complaints and doesn't seem to have any sense that family budgets are under attack in a big way. He uses the opportunity to slam big oil, expecting that will ease the pain. But, in reality he would love $6 gas. If you want a clearer picture of 0-Man's missteps, go see Democrat (Okla) Dan Boren's comments that begin, "If the President doesn't want to step up and be a leader..." http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/article.aspx?subjectid=11&articleid=20110427_16_A9_CUTLIN157249

I see where the latest "Boomer" research based P/R program revolves around a revelation that says, "Age can be an asset in the workplace." These are the same Boomers who couldn't move fast enough to ax their aging predecessors saying companies in the new era need new, young blood to survive. What a crock.

For the record, I will never watch any Singing competition show where the judges sit in big red chairs.

The Lamar and Khloe Show? Shoot me.

Bobby Jenks is looking more like Bobby Jinx to me. BTW, Wakefield threw a beaut yesterday.

Almost Near: Chapter 18 continues. --Samantha's eyes seemed brighter, and it wasn't from the glass of wine she was twirling in her hand, while looking over, smiling comfortably at Dante. She raised her left hand so the waiter could clear away the appetizer of grilled shrimp wrapped in prosciutto with Balsamic reduction. "That was incredibly delicious" she said warmly to the waiter. He smiled back.
"You look a lot better now," Dante was staring at her and she sensed that he really had been worried about the way she looked when he came into the room.
"You seem to have a soft heart for a Lawyer." He laughed at her little joke and it was easy to see that he wanted to reach over and grab her hand. Samantha could see it to, but she didn't bring down the castle gates. She moved her hand to her lap and fiddled with the napkin.
"Maybe we should start talking business. You know I have to start accumulating some hours so I can pay for that extraordinarily high priced flight." Samantha threw a bread crumb at him, and he ducked and put up his arms which set Samantha to laughing. This time hard. "You haven't mentioned what drove yout o call me earlier today."
Samantha now was silent. "Maybe I already feel better." Then she realized that would not be enough. "I felt threatened in that police station. Oh not physically. But it was the way he was asking questions. That..."
"That maybe you should have a lawyer. That maybe you knew something that would not make you look good."
"That is the way I felt." But, she thought, it couldn't be that because I don't know anything about anything.

Be wary of being in awe of people who quote passages from books, because you may think they are smarter than you.

The Answer: The top 10 in chronological order are are War Admiral (1937), Whirlaway (1941), Count Fleet (1943), Assault (1946), Citation (1948), Secretariat (1973), Seattle Slew (1977), Affirmed (1978), Spend a Buck (1985) and Sunday Silence (1989). To me, the best were Citation and Secretariat. What happened to Man o'War? His owner didn't believe in running in Kentucky! War Admiral in the most famous of all match races lost to Seabiscuit, a grandson of Man 0'War. A British horse War Cloud was the first Triple Crown Winner in 1918.

The End:

You know that the communists tried to usurp May for there own. Every first day they march and rant somewhere. But, I don't listen to them. It's the old tree falling in the forest thing.