President Pollyanna

Today's Tids Issue 2,105
Opening Stuff:

At his inauguration yesterday, the new President of the University of Rhode Island he vowed among other things to turn the phrase often used sarcastically and derogatorily – “Only in Rhode Island” -- into a positive description of unique statewide innovative and creative thinking and action. Commendable! But, I’m not holding my breath.

Most things are hard before they are easy.

It is no surprise that Justice Stevens just announced his decision to step down in June. The big question is just how much of his far left personna will the Great Mocker show in naming a replacement. Stevens is reputed to be the leader of the left on the court and I have to expect that he stepped down now before the Novemeber elections fearing that the Republicans will regain strength to the point of being able to squash truely liberal nominees. This may be the last chance for the 0-Man to ge the liberal activist he wants. Should be good TV.

The Question:
51 years ago today NASA named the first 7 astronauts. Who were they?

Today’s Headlines:
--Nuke Treaty Dramatically Reduces Arms Of The Two Mightiest; Will Have No Effect On “Loose” Nukes, Suitcase Bombs and Other Instruments Of Catastrophic Terrorism.
--North Korea Vows To Keep Building Nukes.
--Israel PM Cancels Attendance At Nuke Summit In Washington.
--Survivor Producer Bruce Beresford-Redman Is Person Of Interest In Death Of Wife In Cancun.
--The Newt-ster Calls Obama Most Radical President Ever; Says 0-Man Heads Giant Secular, Socialist Machine.
--Brad Stupak To Retire From Congress.
--Toxic Smoke, Fire Fears Have WVa Rescue Team Backing Off; 4 Minors Still Missing.
--Thailand Protestors Take Over TV Compound.

Back to More Stuff:

Newt Gingrich’s no holds barred words weren’t the only indication that he maybe launching a 2012 presidential campaign. He strode into the Southern Republican Leadership Conference to the triumphant sound of “Eye of the Tiger”! Oops. Tiger?

General news reports from The Masters are saying that cheers for the reprehensible sex maniac were louder than ever. But a more insightful analysis showed that over 30% of the watchers stood defiantly with arms severely folded across their chests. CBS announcers were whoring it up in their over the top cheery evaluation of the Tiger effort…except Curtis Strange who was the single source of honesty. (Will they let him talk today?) While the adulation by the morally bankrupt fans was going on, Woods lover and stripper Joslyn James strode on a stage at the Pink Pony yesterday afternoon wearing a “Green Jacket”…and with back up dancers all with the curious look of Elin! Don’t expect CBS to send Katie Couric there for an up close and personal!

Meanwhile in San Francisco the enlightened there in the form of City Supervisors passed some new rules. In addition to things like banning plastic bags at grocery stores they passed a resolution to promote “Meatless Monday”. Hey if it’s illogical, go for alliteration! They say they are not forcing citizens to go meatless, but you know that is exactly what they would like to do. Strangely these secularists often on the side of atheists are behaving more like the Catholic Church with their meatless Fridays. The world gets weirder and weirder.

If many successful people are married to their jobs, does that mean that temporary employees are just dating?

UPS drivers average $75,000 per year. Brown is beautiful.

If you still think you are young, I remind you that the cute little Cosby tyke Keisha Knight-Pullam turned 31 today!

Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 65 continues: Henry was busy writing a report when I arrived. He asked me to sit for a few minutes. This is out of character for the affable lawman. If the Bromsky affair came under his jurisdiction I might understand his busy-ness. But, this is still just Fosterville. It didn’t take long for him to look up, but it took longer than it usually takes. “Hi, detective Middleton” he smiled. He loved to say that.
“You look busier than ever,” I started.
“Oh,” he began, “I’m not really. I just got so caught up in that great mystery of ours that I let a lot of mundane paperwork slide. Sorry for the delay.”
“Apology accepted, Boss”. I played along. Better to be amiable with this cagy codger. I decided.
“Since we have the evil gang in hand, I’m putting this vandalism case to bed. There are plenty of unanswered questions, though. I guess the biggest is this lights out episode. It seems to me that it was more than just a coincidental technical failure. What do you think?”
I know how and why the lights went out. So instead of revealing anything, I asked, “What did your interviews with the electric company people tell you?”
“They told me that it was some kind of momentary outside circumstance like a lightening strike. They said like a lightening strike. We know it was a clear and pleasant evening.” He paused and looked at his shoes. “I’d just fold up this case if it wasn’t for the kidnapping of the two kids eventually found in Bromsky’s lab.” I just nodded.
Stop talking Henry, thought. I’m not going to say anything, and besides I’m getting anxious to see Sarah. I just said in my usual non-committal way. “It is odd. I don’t what to say.”
He looked right through me.

Do you think people in government really care who put them there? In Iraq the loser doesn’t care that the people put the other guy there. He isn’t stepping aside anyhow. His logic – I’m here. Does anybody rally care about anything? Golf fans don’t care that Tiger is a slug. Losers didn’t care if the voters want them out. In’s don’t care if the people they represent want something else. Politicians in general don’t care if they lie. We live in the cover-up age.

You may have read about 0-Man’s new nuke strategy which essentially eliminates many nations from general targeting. The Tids has obtained the 0-List for US nuke targets – North Korea, Iran and Fox News. Jay Leno sent it over from an unnamed source.

Reading Between the Lines Movie Reviews:
--Date Night looked pretty good in the promotional trailers, and it seems to have fulfilled the promise. The Tids never looks at star power, only plot and satisfaction. But the Carell/Fey duo looks great together. A couple out for their Friday night date think they are pretty clever and daring when they snag a table reserved for another couple at the latest “In” restaurant. Unfortunately for them, the original couple is in big trouble with the mob. Fey and Carell don’t know what hit them, and they carry the relentless chase through well. I’ll be there.
--One of the great newish mystery series is that of the recently deceased Stig Larsson. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is the first of the series, and it turns out to also be a fine 2 ½ hour movie that zips along. A disgraced reporter is sentenced to jail. A millionaire industrialist hires him to find the murderer of his niece 40 years earlier. A mystery female hacker, an eerie Goth, hacks into his files. They become a duo in the chase to uncover the murderer and it leads them on a frightening journey and the discovery of a series of similar murders of young women. Some will cover their eyes at the all too vivid scenes of grisly murder, sodomy, sadism, torture and rape. It’s a Swedish film.
--The Runaways almost makes it. In fact half of it, the wrong half , makes it very well. The movie is about the Dokota Fanning character Cherie Currie (It is her memoir), but the most intriguing part is about her band mate Joan Jett played outstandingly by Kristen Stewart. It’s about the formation of the band that eventually launched Jett. Currie was selected for her body and good looks as the cherry on top of whipped cream. It is supposed to be about her fragile psyche. It’s a decent look at the sometimes ugly, seedy inner workings of rock bands.

The Answer:
Until April 9, 1959 the only spacemen familiar to people were Buck Rogers and Flash Gordon…and maybe a Jules Verne character or two. But 51 years ago today fearless space travelers became real people – Alan Sheppard, John Glenn, Gus Grissom, Scott Carpenter, Wally Schirra, Gordon Cooper and Deke Slayton. In that followed Americans idolized their every movement. They were national heroes.

Punning off:

It often takes blunt talk to make a fine point.