Beef drippings for peace.

Today's Tids Issue 2,102
Opening Stuff:

Occasionally you read of a new product that could literally change the world. Let’s face it, some of this new technology stuff is simply tweaks of old stuff with more apps than you could ever use. But this new product discovered today by the Executive Food Editor of the Tids at the Christmas Tree Store is such a powerful idea that it could bring peace to the Middle East, bi-partisanship in 0-Man’s heart. It’s called “Better than gravy”! Imagine that! Better than gravy. Kind of rolls off your tongue doesn’t it.

To keep my last night’s two hour 24 high going, I’m prepping my nerves for what should be a very tense and exciting UConn-Stanford Women’s Championship game tonight. This has the potential of being one of the all time greatest upsets. I’m think Pats/Giants in the Superbowl surprise. The big question, are the UConn women more dominant than Brady and crew.

The Question:
 Today is the 63rd birthday of John Ratzenberger. Name the rest of the original cast on “Cheers”.

The Headlines:
--25 Now Confirmed Dead In West Virginia Mine Disaster.
--45 Now Dead In Baghdad Blasts.
--Maoist Ambush In central India Kills 75 Policemen.
--Butler Takes NCAA Champ Duke To last Second; “Opie” Haywood Misses Last Second Midcourt Shot By A Fraction.
--Serious Overdosing From Prescription Pain Killers Dramatically On The Rise In US.
--Britain’s PM Gordon Brown Sets May 5 As Election Date; Economy Wracked Country Puts 13 Year Rule By Labour Party In Jeopardy
--British Lawmakers Attack US Kraft Company For Antics In $11 Billion Takeover Of Cadbury.
--Stock Futures Point Lower.

Back to More Stuff:

A dark horse should no be taken lightly.

Have you ever read the funny sarcasm site the http://www.theonion.com Some current articles are ”City of Chicago to Modernize Outdated Graft System, “Rich Guys Feeling Left Out of Recession”, “Chimp in Cocaine Study Starts Lying to Friends”, “Pope Vows to get Pedophilia Down to Acceptable Levels”, “Freakonomist Keeps Close Eye On GE Stock Versus Height Of Mexican Weightlifters” and of course the main feature “US to Save Billions By Cutting Wasteful Senator Program.

There is no truth to the rumor that Phil Mickelson has hired a female flasher to run by Tiger Woods as he tees up Thursday morning.

A new report shows how creeping Taxation will stifle initiative. It isn’t just isn’t because of taxes, it’s the infringement on give-away programs that is the big retardant. For instance, as wages grow, parents with college age kids will lose advantages in aid opportunities, sapping net income growth. Forbes magazine has completed a report that details many instances where the tax code will make earning $30K can be more rewarding than $60K or that a promotion from $60k to $120K will net as little as $10K extra for the added workload and responsibility. It isn’t exactly income redistribution, but it works that way.

24-um: Was that a fast two hours last night or what? The sad thing is that we are in the wind down mode of one of my favorite all time programs. Let’s see, they have the bomb; The president is dead. And Dana, who turned out to be a pretty good villainess, is in the can. Is Russia the next villain? And there are only ten hours left to great a tense scenario and bring an end to all of the characters I have watched since Day 1 Hour 1. When, I first saw that intro of the morphing “24” the great split screens and heard those Kthunk, Kthunk, Kthunks. Every other program I have ever seen drags when compared to 24. Maybe it is time to start slowing down my heart. It’s like another retirement. I’m thinking that next year I’ll write an hour of 24 in each Tids.

Through The Same Eyes: Chapter 64. --“Hi, It’s Henry”.
“Oh, hi Henry. Hearing your rough country tones is Always a delightful way to start my day.” I could see his face turning red through the phone.
“Why don’t you come down here?” he asked after a pause and in a kind of mysterious tone.
“Am I under arrest?” He laughed.
“No. No, I have a several of the teens in here, along with their parents and a lawyer or two. I need your mind to help me interpret what they are saying. Can you be here in ten minutes or so?” He then told me that he thought this could go somewhere, and that it wouldn’t take long.
“You kids be good,” I yelled. “Remember I’ll be with the Police Chief and he knows how to look for evidence!” They laughed. I closed the door and within three minutes I was walking into Henry’s office.
Henry introduced me to Richie and Jen and then to two of the kidnapped kids Barbara and Murph. I just sat and listened. Henry appeared most interested in Murph, the alleged leader of the group and boyfriend of Bromsky’s niece Laura.. Richie seemed pretty bright in a teen sort of way. They started talking about the vandalizing night when the first two were taken. “So, how do you think those lights went out?” Henry asked. I always thought that was a pretty critical event in this entire mess. It just so far outside the realm of teen thinking.
“I have no idea,” Murph grunted. “This plan was Laura’s idea,” he quickly added trying to shift the guilt to the woman who wasn’t here.
“When did you find out that Laura was the niece of Bromsky,” I asked first.

Did some anti-soda person dream up the new caps on my Diet Coke and Pepsi? These little twisters hurt my fingers and make looking forward to a cool drink a journey in angst instead. I have seen it on several different kinds of drinks. One day you’re happy, the next someone changes the course of your life.

Oldsters may not know how to work an iPhone, but they are the wisest on social issues so says some new research. The study says old people from all kinds of demographic backgrounds have unique ability to draw upon wisdom based on experience. And the regular folks without a string of degrees are just as able as those with Phds. Listen to your Grandparents.

It looks like he latest White House repair job on their boss is to turn him into some kind of lovable smiling jokester. As I have always said, beware of left wing comedians.

Haiti could be a great test for the effectiveness of the moribund UN. They have proven over the years that they are pretty much inept. Haiti is pressing need of security first just keep those ravaged people secure in a civilized society. It’s small and UN troops should be to easily accomplish that objective. Unfortunately they have had too many meetings that go nowhere. Just do it. While we are on Haiti, the prospects there are not good. There are plenty of good charitable groups in the country, but no leadership. There is tons of dough flowing inward, but it is probably being siphoned off into Swiss accounts as we speak.

The Answer:
The show started in 1982 and featured Ted Danson as Sam Malone, Shelley Long as Diane Chambers, Rhea Pearlman as Nicholas Colastano as Coach, George Wendt as Norm Peterson, and of course Ratzenberger as Cliff Clavin. The rest who came later were Kelsey Grammer, the awful Woody Harrelson, Beb Neuworth, Kristie Alley, Tom Skerrit, Jackie Swanson, Roger Rees and Reid Shelton. Another my favorites, and love d the Rhea-Shelley conflict best along with Norm and Cliff.

A Small Finish:

I don’t believe Butler will be the last of the small college teams to make noise in the NCAA.