Drill baby drill

Today's Tids 2,120
Opening Stuff:

This oil slick looks like it could produce one of the ugliest natural disasters of our times. While I expect that the Nightly News will be showing streams of video showing people caressing sea turtles, dolphins and pelicans, my heart will be with the hard working shrimpers and other fishermen whose families rely in the sea for a living.

Wow, I thought we were still in January. The last day of April! Already! The way days, months seems to fly these days, it must be time for me to begin Christmas shopping – even before my golf handicap drops into the toilet.

I never heard of Dorothy Height. I must have a short memory.

And this just in…Historian anthropologists have finally determined that Stonehenge is the remnants of the housing bubble of 1251.

The Question:
 The President seems to have this fatal leadership flaw of jumping up to microphones to insult or demean people or groups of hard working patriotic Americans. Give me five 0-Man slurs against Americans.

The Headlines:
--Oil Reaches Shore As Gulf Coast Disaster Looms; BP Stock Tanks; Moratorium On new Offshore Drilling Now Expected; Coast Guard Has Over 100 Ships Fighting Overwhelming Battle.
--Justice Department Opens Criminal Probe Of Goldman.
--Solid First Quarter Consumer Spending Boosts Prospects For Economy; GDP Rises 3.2%
--0-Man Begins SC Selection Process; Met Yesterday With 9th Circuit’s Sidney Thomas.
--British Conservative Party David Cameron Zooms Into Lead After Last Night’s Final Debate.
--The Success Of “Cougar Town” Has Lingerie Sales To Older Women Booming In Britain.
--Tiger Woods Own Estimate Of Woman While Married Is Up To 121.

Back to More Stuff:

Remember WNGU – “Whackos Never Give Up”! These Arizona protests are so much like all other protests based on ideologies. Even in the face of overwhelming logic, they keep on coming much like the march of the Zombies or the attack of the killer tomatoes!

I have to agree with the comments of a reader on the dismissal of Siobhan Magnus from American Idol: “Clearly the voters got it wrong. She will go on to become a star. Aaron and Mike, not so much.” He went on to say what is becoming obvious – that there are too many guys left on this show which can only mean that too many pre-pubescent girls are dominating the voting. You may even have to worry about the talented Crystal. She and Lee are definitely 1-2 or 2-1 in my book.

After November, suits against Wall Street Bigs will probably dissipate. But until then, desperate Dems will continue to play Saint George against the fire breathing dragon to make points with the misinformed.

Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 69. –Kent’s gentle touch along my back felt good. Like always. It instantly evoked passionate memories of last night. Did I blush? I looked at Henry quickly, but he was looking trough a couple of papers. I quickly squeezed my legs together. Took a deep breath. I started to open my mouth, but Henry beat me to it. He looked up at me.
“Why do you think Kent dropped in like that? He has done that several times in the past couple of days. Did I tell you that?” he continued not expecting an answer. “I am noticing a pattern. He comes in like my good ole’ boy friend. Skirts around several issues. Asks a couple of seemingly innocent questions. Then he plans his unobtrusive get-away.” He paused like Henry pauses. “Odd, isn’t it?”
“Well Henry, it sort of fits into what we were talking about – that mysterious bra.” He nodded as in, go on. “His primary offering was about Laura and he seemed to be looking at us both for a reaction.”
“I agree”, Henry answered and then receded into his mind.
“Laura is a little young for him, don’t you think Henry?”
“Hell” he laughed while adding, “You’re way too young for him”. I tried to laugh along with him. But, now I was feeling a little shaken. “Yup, I always had an odd feeling about his stoniness. So I wouldn’t be surprised about Laura at all.”
Laura, I thought. God, what am I? I was feeling weak. And it wasn’t because of my recovery. I have to get out of here. I can’t continue this charade. “Maybe you should talk to her a little more,” I started mainly to hide the queasiness in my stomach.

I still wish Clueless Lane would put some of their genius people on the front lines for the small investor.

I have always though that Alaska King Crablegs were overrated. Sorry brave fishermen.

If your boss keeps on calling you by the wrong name, change your name to the one he is using.

With the appointment of Yellin, Raskin and Diamond to the Fed, 0-Man will have financial control over the triggers that effectively control financing -- interest rates, money supply, mortgages, credit. “President Obama is sending a strong signal that easy money and bureaucratic control of finance will be the hallmarks of the American economy for years to come.” (Andrew Shiff of Euro-Pacific Capital.

Within days of banning smoking on Subs, the Navy authorized for the first time women submariners. Well that is one way to relieve ex-smoker tension!

My friend has this talking GPS system and all around computer in his car. When his wife tries to give the GPS instructions, the woman in the machine responds, “You are not using the proper tone”. How funny is that!

Reading Between the Lines Movie Reviews:
--Furry Vengeance is a pretty predictable propaganda film about animals in the forest rallying together against hapless humans and in particular a developer. It’s a typical brainwash the kids against big business effort. A raccoon leads the way in retaliatory tricks including some trite toilet humor. Which unfortunately will send the children into fits of laughter while mentally competent adults shout “Get me out of here!
--A Nightmare on Elm Street had Freddie Krueger slashing teens in their dreams (Did you notice the insertion of the word “A” before Nightmare?) It is another in the long series of inventing clever ways to get the blood gushing.

The Answer:
He just called Arizona lawmakers “Misguided” That was after he has called Cambridge mass police “Stupid”, hard hit Pennsylvanians “bitter, clinging to guns and religion’, Fox News not a legitimist news outlet, plus snide slurs against the Supreme Court, the Special Olympics, Poland, Gordon Brown, Tea Party members, Sarah Palin, Hillary Clinton and any other American against anything he wants. The Great Mocker is at his best when spontaneously grabbing a mike.

The Beginning:
Around here, this is looking like a perfect day to start to enjoy the promise of what should be a good week end.