Opening Stuff:
Yesterday while driving down Succotash Road towards Snug Harbor I realized that the America we love still exists and is going strong in the neighborhoods, towns and villages of the country. The America of the Politicians does not in anyway reflect the heart and soul of most loving and hard working folk. At the fork in the road where you turn down to Snug was a dazzling display of yellow ribbon, flags and hand printed sings – Welcome home Jake! And for the next mile, on every mail box, every stone wall, every picket fence, every tree, every telephone pole were similar displays of pride and thanks for a local hero – Jacob. And near the end where the right turn goes down the small hill past the gray shingled fire station to “Jakes” home was a picture of Jake – Proudly wearing his army uniform and smiling.”We miss you Jacob.” “Thanks Jake!” Turn off the news. Look around you.
And then there’s this side of America. Dear Abby was probably a little perplexed when she received these letters: “What can I do about all of the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence on my VCR?”; “I have a man I can’t trust. He cheats so much, I’m not sure the baby I’m carrying his…”; “I’m married to Bill for three months and I didn’t know he drank until one night he came home sober.” Bada bing!
Handyman’s Motto: When in doubt…a swift boot bails you out.
In the Tids continuing battle to bring you the best in word play humor the Editor this morning steals from Brookins and Cassatt who describe the job of grocery and department store greeters as “Howdy Duty”.
The Question: Something is happening this August 2010 that only happens every 823 years. Bonus Q: From humble beginnings 85 years ago this week, the wonderful Grand Ole’ Opry has grown into a genuine American icon. Name five Opry legends. What was the name of the original permanent home?
The Headlines:
--Street Analysts See Sluggish Markets For Next Few Weeks; Months?--China Diversifying Bond Purchases Away From US In To Europe And Japan; Largest Holder Of US Debt Sees USA Faltering.
--Petraeus Says Time And Money Keys To Success IN Afghan War.
--Millions In Pakistan Crying Out For Aid.
--Off Road Racing Accident In Mojave Kills 8, Injures 12.
--Young German Player Martin Kaymer Wins Exciting PGA; Penalty For “Mystery Trap” Costrs Johnson Share Of Lead. And Playoff Chance.
--Day Tripping Obama’s Hit Gulf Beaches For Presidential Splash.
Back to More Stuff:
Often stupid jokes jump up and grab you by the punny bone.
Things that happen when there are too many government workers Department:
A friend of mine was selling his mother-in-law’s home, but first had to go threw extensive hoops to get rid of an underground oil tank. Which he did responsibly. Six months or so later he received a call from the contractor saying he would send over a Federal document which my friend must sign. The document never arrived, but the contractor called again to tell him again. And then he learned why the document never arrived for signature. It was 350 pages long and the contractor wasn’t going to pay that kind of postage. 350 pages… for what? To keep an excessive number of government people working? Probably. To give lawyers more business? Probably. God what a wasteful country we are becoming.
And it is only going to get worse as 0-man signs bill after bill, regulation after regulation, executive order after exceptive order that basically do what? Give private sector employees incentives to lay off more employees. Check out the following Investor’s Business Daily’s piece on the Admin’s Union building, job killing activity – “10 Job Killers”: http://license.icopyright.net/user/viewFreeUse.act?fuid=OTUzNjEyMw==
Did you hear about the boxer who walked into the bench in the locker room? He took it on the shin! Ouch!
The Zsa-Zsa “Re-hospitalization” news barrage is becoming as Ho-Hum as that of a certain NFL QB’s retirement plans. And, it’s too bad because Zsa-Zsa’s is serious.
The Pakistan floods are severely affecting the lives of 14,000,000 people. But because a mere 1,400 have died the media is less interested than other catastrophes where people need funds and aid. Maybe we have to send Brad Pitt and Al Sharpton there to get attention. Human compassion is in danger of becoming a media inspired promotional event..
We hear a lot about freedom of this and freedom of that. But we rarely hear about the accompanying responsibilities that go along with all freedoms. And that goes for religions, gun carriers and the press. Especially the press.
Which brings me to the irresponsible Internet press and in particular the WikiLeaks character Julias Assange. The Wiki site says it’s existence is for the primary purpose of providing whistleblowers with a protected global outlet. Which may or may not be a good idea depending on the amount of sour grapes digested by the various tattletales. The elusive Assange says he is being responsible with the leaking of US military secrets because he spending time redacting “personnel” information. But, the fact remains that he is provided assistance and comfort to an enemy who would love to know the strengths, weaknesses and plans of the US defense department. And, my guess is that he is jeopardizing the potential safety of millions primarily because he is anti-war. And that is irresponsible.
Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 88. –After another moment or two, Paul and I came back to the real world. “I’ll drive your car. You go with Henry. He ran off and within seconds I heard my engine roar to life. I was barely seated when Henry put the cruiser in reverse.
I slammed the door as Henry jerked back and then forward out the doorway. “God, Henry!...what’s going on here.”
“A lot, he answered quickly. A lot. But the real problem is sorting through the characters. Which good guys are bad an which bad guys are good. First…since you and I last talked the staties called and are looking again into the Bromsky suicide. Since the FBI is already on the scene because of the FDA ramifications of the research scam, they are now looking into Bromsky along with our state police. So, all of a sudden I have a huge department at my finger tips!” He smiled like he does and looked at me. “I may have to disband my citizens detective bureau.”
“Right Henry. Like I’m going to walk away from this now.” As nervous as I was just five minutes ago, I was now eager and excited to get involved. Maybe it was because Paul gave me the strength. Then Henry said it.
“I haven’t figured out Kent Middleton yet. He’s a hard guy to read. “ Tell me about it Henry, I thought. “I think it is good for you to maintain your friendship with him. You nervous about that, Sarah?”
Was I nervous about seeing Kent? I am, I thought. But not scared nervous. I’m nervous about what I might find. I thought of that bra hanging on the back of his bathroom door. I’m nervous too about never seeing him again. How strong am I really? “Nope Henry. I’m ok with that.”
Did you see where the kid step-brother who held the bridal gown train for Jackie as she walked down the aisle to meet JFK was just arrested in Oregon on child pornography charges? Ah Camelot!
The Answer:
You are going to wake up to an August Sunday, Monday and Tuesday…five times!! Bonus Q: In the first permanent home Ryman Auditorium smiling fans cheered legends Hank Williams, Patsy Cline, Roy Acuff, The Carter family, Bill Munroe, Ernest Tubb, Kitty Wells and Minnie Pearl! The Opry got goin’ when they hired first program director George D. “Judge” Hay and first announcer Dr. Humphry Bate. The first national radio program kicked off 11/28/1925 with 77 year old fiddler Uncle Jimmy Thompson. Of course modernists talk about Dolly, Carrie, Garth, Reba and Alan (Jackson), but should never forget the original radio regulars The Fruit Jar Drinkers, The Crook Brothers, The Binkley Brothers’ Dixie Clodhoppers, Uncle Dave Macon, Sid Harkreader, Deford Bailey, Fiddlin’ Arthur Smith and the Gully Jumpers. Feel like you missed something in life? I do.
The End:
And finally from the Perplexed Dear Abby Department: “I am a 23 year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It’s getting expensive and I think my boy friend should share half the cost…but I don’t know him well enough to discuss money with him!”
Barrack Obama: Tourism Director. Staycations and day tripping are easy when you have Air Force One.
Hollywood consistently tries to edge higher and higher across the lines of good taste and common decency. And ofet they do it Under the guise of comedy. Their latest effort shows up in the soon to be released sequel to Meet the Parents known as “The Little Fockers”. In it DeNiro is called the “Godfocker”. And once again Americans will be enabled to sink lower into the uncivilized abyss.
If I ran the PGA and associated networks I’d stop worrying about Woods and start creating some romance around all of the dynamic young turks.
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