Word Play is Punderful.

Today's Tids Issue 2,199
Opening Stuff:

Tis sad to know that some people have never seen the magnificence of dawn.

Many a day I feel like Charlie Brown. Dreaming of things that will never be. Trusting without hesitation. And thinking that a simplified life is a wonderful thing. Fortunately I know no Lucy’s.

Business is having it tough in this uncertain economy. But John Deere has always used sound business policies to keep a steady course even in the roughest times. In fact to keep consumers happy they will stand behind every product…except one. The manure spreader!

The Question:
What is paronomasia? There three ways to practice the art of Paronomasia. What are they?

The Headlines:
--Poll Numbers: 0-Man Dips To Lowest Numbers On Handling Economy At 41% Down From 44% Last Month; 81% Say Economy Poor Up From 72%; But, 75% Agree Unrealistic To Turn Around In 18 Months.
--11/12 Jurors Ready To Convict Blago Of Political Corruption Crime Spree; Mistrial Declared On All Major Counts; Convicted On One Of 24 Counts.
--Five Most Stressful Cities: Las Vegas (Duh), LA, Houston, Tampa, Riverside Cal.
--Barney Frank Wants Fannie And Freddie Abolished.
--Seattle’s Traffic Court “Judge Judy” Suspended Because Of Excessive Insults.
--Found So-Called Terrorist Interrogation Tapes Much Ado About Nothing.
--Despite Growing Concerns About Health Of Economy Markets Edging Up To Achieve Technical Levels.

Back to More Stuff:
An interesting effect of the economy on Dem and Obama popularity and chances for re-election is that of the huge block of Obama student supporters. The wide eyed and idealistic of college days are now in the real world and feel a new, different kind of sense of urgency. He’s going to have to find a he number of illegal aliens to make up for the lost of students.

The Dems and 0 may also have added to their woes with the support of the mosque thing. Most Americans who oppose it (63% of New Yorkers in a new poll today) aren’t disputing that they may have a right under the constitution. They are concerned an=bout the sensitivity of a religion that would mock sacred ground. And to many it looks like Cuomo, Obama and Bloomberg just don’t get it. You saw how fast Harry Reid ran away from it.

Has anyone every coined a better phrase to describe today’s 24 hour news assaults than Shakespeare’s “Much Ado About Nothing”?

An abundance of Government money will generally tend to incubate incurablefraud.

One of the basic rules of clear writing is avoiding the overuse of adverbs. One well chosen verb will always describe the action better. And while we are on the rules of grammar, remember that a double negative is a no-no.

The Tids has been a supporter of a better understanding of puns. This simple yet controversial form of word play and humor has been discussed for centuries. Oscar Levant said: “A pun is the lowest form of humor…when you don’t think of it first.” Ambrose Bierce said: “A form of wit, to which wise men stoop and fools aspire.” But Poe probably got it right: “Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them.”

Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 89. –“Listen, Kent, I work for you so you can do whatever you want to do. But, I have to tell you that your boss is on the warpath and it is worrying me.”
Over the year or so since we hired the security firm, I listened patiently to the ego rants of Cotter, but now he was fast becoming my most important ally. And a good guy to have on my side. “I’ll try to get Izzy under control again. But, just do what I say and it will work out just fine.” I had called him to ask that he tell the guard out front that he was closing down the operation and that I was taking Laura. He agreed immediately and quickly saw my reasoning of not telling Isabelle. He was sleazy but he knew how to ally himself. And he taking care of himself was good for me. “Thanks Jason.”
I was about to press the off button when I heard him again, “Kent, I have to warn you about your friend Durham. She is your friend?” I nodded at he phone. He continued. “Isabelle is making noise about permanently getting rid of Sarah Durham. I don’t like it.”
I looked at the phone. Like it was my enemy. “I’ll take care of it. Thanks.” Then I spoke again. Keep me posted about anything to do with Mag…Sarah. Are you still watching her?”
“She spotted us, so my guy turned in the old car and rented a Volvo which seems to fit in better with the neighborhood.”
I hung up. I went into the room where Laura was still sitting staring angrily at the wall. Her head turned. Her eyes seemed blank. “Let’s go.” Her face transformed with a smile that I would never associate with Laura..

Newt Gingrich is becoming a waffler just like all of the rest of them.

It must be something that happens to politicians. The power? Probably. In business it’s called the Peter Principle. In politics it’s the petering out of principles. Did you know that scientists have discovered a parasite that resides in brains of animals and prehistoric remains. And they believe it may still be at work in the brains of humans. Hell, all you have to do is look at Washington DC. You don't need another taxpayer supported grant for that.

The Picasso Exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art In NYC has drawn 700,000 people since the April opening. The lowest attendance baseball team, Cleveland has had just over a million for the same time period. I wonder if you can get a hot dog and a beer at the museum?

It’s not at all surprising to learn that there is a rise in hearing loss among teens. New info has one in twenty with a loss of hearing at some level. Maybe they measured the kids while they had an iPod stuck in their ears.

The Answer:
Paronomasia is the act or practice of “Punning”. There are three kinds of puns: 1. Homographic (Antanaclasis) – Multiple meaning from a single spelling –Eat a pickle; In a pickle. 2. Homophonic (Polyptoton) –Sound alike words with different spelling – Idle and idol. 3. Double Sound – Substituting sounds as in “Knock-Knock” jokes -- “Orange who; Orange you going to open the door. And then there are the different classes of Puns. “Daffynicians – Pasteurize: Too far to see.; “Tom Swifties” – You’re a real zero, Tom said naughtily; “Spoonerisms” – Three cheers for our queer old dean Victoria.; “Signs of the times” – Sign on divorce lawyer’s wall: Satisfaction guaranteed or your honey back.; “Definitions” – Egoist: One who is me deep in conversation.; “Palindromes” (Sentence that eads the same both ways) – Madam, I’m Adam.; “On the job” – I used to be a ballet dancer but found it too-too difficult.

As the carpenter said to me…”Bored yet?”