May I be Pun-ished.

Today's Tids Issue 2,841
I had to love the little news piece about Lily Carter, a Tiverton RI voting poll worker, who said she practically crocheted a lap blanket waiting for voters to show up to cast ballots. Kind of paints a picture of a pleasant woman sitting by a wood stove while people in horse and buggies show up to vote. But, it was this past Tuesday where nobody came to vote on a referendum. Your Republic at work.

And God said, "Let there be Lite." And, it was good...but not great.

I have written pun after pun over the years like Hall of fame Puns, "Atheism is a non-Prophet organization" or "I wondered why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me." or "Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: Transcend dental medication." Occasionally I stumble into one myself, like the proverbial squirrel finding a nut. And then I go out and try find that elusive new one never before seen by a Tidsee. Because of a higher cost of living, funeral expenses have risen by 50%.

The Question:
Double "Q" Day. 1. Name Bib Dylan's first hit. 2. What were the origins of "Puns"?

The Headlines:
--Long Term Investors Should Become Aware of Shorters As Heated Market Nears Maturity.
--Taliban Attack UN Compound In Kabul.
--Washington State I-5 Brige Collapses; Truck Crash May Have Been Cause.
--5.7 Quake Hits Northern Cal.
--Boy Scouts Open Arms To Gay Youths.
--Active Hurricane Season Expected.

If we give peas a chance, won't lima beans feel left out?

I think it's a good idea to pay Corporate executives based on what they accomplish. Unfortunately there are too many ways to accomplish something that looks good on paper, but not necessarily for the good for the future.

The national debt rises about $2 Billion a day. The Federal government just said it would make a payment of $35 Billion. That covers about 17 1/2 days. After Jimmy Carter the debty stood at $1 Trillion. Today it is $16.8 Trillion and growing as we have seen by $35 million an hour. So there is a way to pay off the debt now. Stop all governemtn spending for a year and raise taxes across the board by 10%, taxes that would 100% go to paying down the debt. Simple.

Now as we walk gloriously into the warm sun of summer we find that we will be not alone. Insects also like the warmth and swarm, some carrying deer ticks and West Nile diseases. But, harken, some great repellents are available for your comfort and protection. Four of the best just tested by brave volunteers are: Off Deep Woods Sportsman II; Cutter Backwoods Unscented; Off family care Smooth and Dry; 3M Ultrathin Insect repellent 8. Also considered effective was a non-Deet product Natrapel 8-Hour with Picariden.

It's just mean to call somebody average!

Isn't it too bad that the great people in the state of Washington always have to say "State" to describe where they live. I think it shoul be the other way around, eliminating Washington for the Capitol's name and just using District of Columbia, or Columbia. In a republic, the State's allow the central government to operate. It's just they way it is supposed to work. So let's begin by changing the name.

One of the toughest things about writing, is feeling it as special and never getting a response. Of course the hardest thing about writing is getting a response -- that it is a piece of crap

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Reading Between the Lines Movie reviews:
--The Hangover was a one joke movie. Number sthree should never have been made.
--I would never go to a movie with #6 after it's Title -- Like fast and Furious.
--The Iceman looks like a real cool movie about a very stoic, professional hitman. It is a good story with surprisingly great acting.

The Answer:
1. Bib Dylan's first hit was "Lettuce have peace!" 2. Puns were used in ancient Egypt in the development of myths and interpretation of dreams and 300 BC China , 2,500 BC Iraq, and also early Maya and Japan. But they became defined in the mid 1,600's with the rise of clever writers like Shakespeare - "Now is the Winter of our discontent made glorious this Summer by the son of York." Or perhaps in 1640 with the advent of the character and wit, Mr. Puny, in Alexander Crowley's comedy The Guardian.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Have Pun this weekend!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gu5g86nhWK4