Just the way the ball bounces.

Today's Tids Issue 3,173

Opening Stuff: 

We are now deep into the process of building towards orgasmic delights for many addicted to USA cultural staples like Football, Politics and the new TV season. Not only does the football bounce unpredictably, but the fortunes of Pols and TV premieres are always affected by a similar disconcerting whimsy of voters and viewers. Well be looking at it all in the next two days.

 

The common theme among late night comedians on the hacking of nude pics of female celebs is that Kim Kardashian is thanking, and paying the hackers.

 

Do you somehow find yourself these days, as you walk down a city street looking over your shoulder for ISIS operatives, planning evasive tactics or outright surprise confrontation? I do. It must be my childhood comic book mentality at work.

 

The Question:

Double “Q” Day! 1. Name the top Ten All-Time NFL passer sin total yardage. 2. The trees in orchards grand across this state and the nation are bearing fruit. Name the 10 top favorite apple types, and for bonus points, the 5 top pear types.

 

The Headlines:

--Ukraine Troops In Retreat; NATO Beefing Up Forces On Border; Ukraine Pulls Back On Initial Claims Of Cease Fire Steps Agreement; Putin Reaffirms Agreement; “O Doesn’t Believe Him.

--CDC Director Says Ebola Outbreak Is Out Of Control; US Doc Tests Positive For Ebola.

--Americans Pray For Sotloff Family.

--Back To School Sales Getting A+ from Wall Street.

--Asia And EU Stocks Higher Ahead Of Wall Street Opening; However Changing Views On Ukraine Truce May Be Negative For US Investors.

--International Observers Scratching Heads After President Obama Says He Wants Degrading And Destruction Of ISIS To Be “Manageable”.

--Cost of Educating Illegal Immigrant Children Estimated At $760 Million.

--ISIS Says No Need To Attack America After Analyzing Shooting Activity In Chicago And Other US Cities.

--Lech Walesa Says Arming Ukraine Could Lead To Nuclear War,

--Bad Boy Bieber Arrested Again After Auto Accident Altercation.

 

David Cameron’s speech yesterday probably won him a lot of votes for the US Presidency in 2016. Maybe the Repubs could adopt him, as part of an old revolutionary war agreement.

 

All of those anti-Casino people seeking evidence against new ventures need to look no further than at Las Vegas where we can find absolute proof of a dangerous brain mutation that affects denizens of that region – Harry Reid.

 

Hearts are beating madly as the NFL season is poised to open. Tomorrow we have our first picks of the year. But first let’s look at the overview. The experts are picking Seattle again for the NFC, and in the AFC the NE Pats to be dominant with Denver close behind. The surprise favorite heartthrob for many sports scribes is San Diego. The NFC East is a tossup of mediocrity – are real bounce of the ball division. The Giants may come back if Eli can figure out the West Coast Offence. The other three need a lightning strike, with Wash the possible surprise. Also, I’m not real positive about the Central. Maybe, finally, Detroit pulls it together, but if not I’m seeing GB and daBears Battling. The South could send us a SB rep with NO looking stronger and Atlanta promising not to replicate last year’s disaster. Cam Newton keeps on getting better, putting Carolina in the mix. I think St. Lou will make the West competitive top to bottom, but the Seattle team still looks tops despite some chemistry fracturing moves. SF is deep and may pose a threat despite criminal activity among players. The experts think NE is far and away the best in the AFC east, but I’m seeing healthy competition from the other three _ Miami, Jets and Bills. Not a cakewalk for the Pats. Pitt may come back to duke it out in the north with Balt. Cinn is a threat, but Johnny F, isn’t the answer yet on the Lake Erie shore – unless Labron plays wide reliever and runs the ball. Now we have the South with Indy seemingly the fave because of the QB. Houston is a weak sister along with Jax. Tenn is the “If” team. Of course the threat for the AFC Title will come from the West, but this time Peyton is throwing to lesser known, fewer experienced receivers. But Fox is a good coach. I think that Oakland will be the big surprise in the west. I They are tough, and have added some better skill players. This is the division where according to the paper stats, any team can beat any other team. Will be fun to watch. Best bets fro Super bowl are Seattle, SF, NO in the NFC and NE, Denver and Oakland in the AFC. But then, the ball has yet to begin to bounce.

 

In tomorrow’s Tids we will look at the two other orgasmic delights, congressional races and TV premieres. Do you think you can hold off til then?

 

A thoughtful reader, who enjoys turning a good phrase himself, sends along this gem from a recent article in The New Republic about John Kerry’s diplomatic journey: “It’s a portrait of a diplomat with the skills and style, but not the success, of Inspector Clouseau.”

 

On a four day work week, is there day hump day? You could call this a Bactrian week, versus the normal Dromedary. If you didn’t already know, Bactrian camels have much more pleasant demeanors than one hump Dromedarys and are far better suited to working in both cold winters and very hot summers. So maybe we should go Bactrian in the USA – a four day work week.

 

Is Lech Walesa The Jimmy Carter of Europe?

 

Quick now, be honest, are you deeply concerned and paying attention to the Afghanistan elections which still appear to be undecided three months after the so-called voting.

 

I have to be honest with you, I’m not writing as much about the inadequacies of Barack Obama so much any more, because it is all over the press and in often very clever mass email offerings, and increasing on a daily  basis. To repeat it just means The Tids is losing its originality – a sacred possession of opiners.

 

The Answer:

1. Here’s the Top Twenty all time passing yardage leaders: Bret Favre leads the way with 71,839 (And I thought his fame came from retirement antics!). The rest in order are Peyton Manning, Dan Marino, John Elway, Drew Breeze, Warren Moon, Tom Brady, Fran Tarkington, Vinnie Testaverde, Drew Bledsoe, Dan Fouts, Kerry Collins, Joe Montana, Johnny Unitas, Dave Krieg, Boomer Esiason, Donovan McNabb, Jim Kelley, Eli Manning and Jim Everette. Of all those the guys, those who were consistent championship winners are few – Elway, Brady, Montana, Johnny U and Kelley – and also include number30 in passing, Troy Aikman. You might also include Favre and The Manning kids. Note, Phil Simms (27) and the utterly disgusting Ben Rothlesberger at 24 could easily be considered in the winner’s category. I’m sure there will be disagreements. 2. The Ten Apples recommended for eating doesn’t include one of our family favorites, the Macoun: Braeburn, Cameo, Cortland, Empire Fuji, Gala, Golden Delicious, Granny Smith, Honey Croisp, Jonagold and McIntosh. Crunch!! For pears you have the delectable choice of Comice, “Butter” (How can that be bad?), Seckel, Anjou, Bosc  and Bartlett.  Stay healthy. I’m looking for pear shaped Cheetos for better distributed flavors.

 

How come the hottest days of summer are the first days of the month that’s supposed to be the advent for the beginning of the cooling down of Fall? BTW, the global warming gangs are already sending out press releases making excuses for the anticipated Polar Vortex winter. Since the time I had been a wee infant in a snow covered carriage, weather has changed.