The 5th of May is not the 4th of July…yet.

Today's Tids Issue 3,327

Opening Stuff:

It’s time for Shorts! The days of bright white spindly legs is back. Yes, yesterday was a hot summery day in the quiet rural hills of western RI, but on the islands and the beaches it was cool and windy, where windbreakers were necessary despite the sun and the appearance of warmth. But, I’m gettingolu the shorts anyhow.

Whatever happened to girls and ladies in lacy, flowered Laura Ashley dresses? Where spinning fluffy skirts put smiles on faces neath tresses. Is billowing, cotton frivolity a thing of the past? Leaving only dour drabness with tattoos that eternally last? Why is edginess such a thing, when it so delightful to see dresses cheery like Spring?

The problem with Cinco de Mayo is mashed black beans and bilious appearing green pulverized avocado. Other than that, it’s nice to see happy Mexicans.

Sometimes a hefty handful of Utz Cheese balls is much more satisfying, and yes even tastier, than a high priced, “incomparable” meal at a fancy, chic, uptown restaurant. Sorry fancy restaurant people. Simple truths are simple truths.

The Question:

Double Bonus Day! 1. Quick, name the original cast members of Monty Python. 2. What was the name of the Tennessee teacher who violated the state’s law banning the teaching of evolution? Bonus-Bonus: Who in classical music is known as the “Red Priest”?

The Headlines:

--Apple Stock Volatility Becoming Burdon For Dow.

--ISIS Claims Responsibility For Texas Cartoon Attack; It Was First On US Soil.

--Marine General Joseph Dunford Chosen As Joint Chiefs Chairman.

--Triple Corwn Win For American Pharoah Already Looming As Next Big USA Celebrity Event.

--Indies and Repubs Lower Affections For The Hill On Ethics Concerns; 75% of Dems Still Love Her.

--In Answer To Q on Rapid Growth Of Wealth, Bill Clinton Says (Aw Shucks) We’re Just Trying To Pay Bills; Ex Presidents Don’t Pick Up Checks.

--South Carolina Coed Arrested After Video Shows Her Poisoning Roommates Food.

There’s a mini controversy going on here because a Professor of Black studies at Providence College is crying racial profiling and harassment by campus police, and the local media who’d love nothing better than becoming part of the national chaos scene are only telling her side of the story. It appears that iover the years she has been fond of protesting about anything, and in this most recent case she parked her car in the space designated for the College’s Director of Security. A Security Officer asked if he could help her, and she cried Profiling and harassment. She appears to like pouring gasoline on the recent fires that now have police officers being assassinated indiscriminately. And much of the media does little to try to uncover and report the truth.

I just saw the annoncement for the next super-duper hedge fund. Its name is Salt Las Vegas! Does that make you feel comfortable.? The house always wins. Wall Street is gambling without the lights.

The Voice: India Carney got back close to where she was earlier in the show when she looked like a contender. But, I find that my interest wanes the longer she sings. I have always trumpeted Joshua, and I thought he was pretty good in his upbeat U2’s desire. Frankly I liked it better than his unemotional second song. Well, Sawyer was Sawyer, and that is about as good as it gets. I liked Koryn’s opener a lot, but I thought she was just another singer in the morass on her second effort. But then you have high expectations for “Dream On”, and she missed it. I believe the critics liked both of Kimberly’s efforts, but, they were just too over the top for me. I liked the way Megan sang the blues. When they announced her second Song, Amazing Grace, I said aloud It wasn’t one of my favorites. Then I heard her opening a capella, and I was hooked. Flawless and heart grabbing. If I had all of the votes, Joshua and India would be going. And maybe Kimberly.

Another sign of Spring is the increase in the number of too high rental trucks stuck under too low overpasses on Boston’s Storrow drive. Yes, it’s the beginning of  move out season for all of the colleges in Athens East, and the kids have not learned one basic truth – their cars are shorter than the trucks they rent.

PT Barnum Lives, Department:

We have become “Event watcher” nation. More and more people attend happenings with little idea of what’s really going on. And, the promoters know it, and love it. “The Dali Lama is coming to town and I can get you great seats.” “Great, I love the way she sings!”

Now, once again, how t=do you pronounce Pacquiao? Has the fight started yet?

There is one thing Boston Celtics fans do better than any of the others across the land – live in the past.

So a good contributor to Tids thinking sent me a news item with actual comments from an actual CVS looter conversation: Looter: “A’ight! Scored me some Tampax.” Looter pal: “What the hell you want that fo’?!” Looter: “It says here I can go horseback ridin’, go swimmin’, play tennis and wear nice clothes.”

The Answer:

1. The original six on the “Flying Circus were Graham Chapman, Eric Idle, Terry Gillam, John Cleese, Terry Jones and Michael Palin. In a 2005 UK poll about the “50 Greatest Comedians Ever”, Cleese was #2, Idle was #21 and Palin was #30. 2. Of course it was John Scopes who was convicted in one of the most watched trials of the day. Later, his conviction was thrown out. Bonus-Bonus. The great composer of the popular Four Seasons and much, much more, Atonio Vivaldi, was the Red Priest.

A new study says that the 10 prettiest USA places in which to retire are Stonington Ct, Camden Maine, Hanover New Hampshire, Mount Dora Fla, Northfield Minn, Mendocino Cal, Galena Il, Charleston SC,  St. Francisville La and Santa Barbara Cal. Basically this tells you that these cities and towns have great PR departments. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholders. I have been in many of these places and they are nice, but there are plenty more. I hear that Summersville WVA is pretty nice. But, like Event watchers, people will gather where the magazines have cameras.

Me, just give me a jug of cheese balls and an ocean mist in the air. And a good imagination.