The Stock Market is the cold wind In January.

Today's Tids Isseu 3,510

Opening Stuff:

“If you buy your 4^th of July supplies at Wal-Mart, you can celebrate your independent from Britain and dependence on China at the same time”. I thought I’d start the day with a bad joke that is somewhat better than the state of the financial markets. The object today is to smile and not watch the ticker. How easy would it be if everybody just sucked it up and held their stocks. See, life isn’t complicated at all, it’s just the outside influences that divert a sound strategy. Do you need another joke yet?

Everybody in global governments, high finance and corner offices these days all of a sudden seems to be is racing madly trying to put a finger in the dike. Frenzied money manipulation, job cutting and stock selling seem to have taken over from the “Stay calm, it’s just a correction” mentality of a mere couple of weeks ago.

With Iran pumping like crazy again, their addition to the oil supply could force prices down even lower, and push the potential per barrel turn-around out farther. The negative way the oil prices are affecting global growth, it appears that people will be paying less for gas while driving looking for jobs. There are no vacuums in the real world.

Friar Tuck was a fast food cook.

The Question:

Name the presidents who have been inaugurated on this day, January 20. Bonus: Who are the 5, maybe 6, stars who make $20 Mil or more per movie?

The Headlines:

--Dow Opened Down 300 Points; Continues Downward To -430 By 11:00; Oil Drop Below 28 Grease Stock Skid; Gray Skies Ahead; Bears Taking Hold.

--Taliban Gunmen Kill At Least 20 In Pakistan University Attack.

--White House In Communication With Iraq Over Kidnapped Americans.

--Russia Displaying New Military Might In Syria.

--Sanders Compares Hillary to Dick Cheney; Says She Is In Wall Street’s Pocket.

--Ben Carson Suspends Campaign.

--ISIS Obliterates Oldest Christian Monastery; 1,400 Year Old Symbol Of Christianity Blasted Off The Earth; FBI Investigating Kent State History Professor For Ties To ISIS.

--Inspector General Says Clinton Had Intel From Most Secretive, Classified Programs On Her Unsecured Home Server; New Info of Irresponsible Security Is Worse Than that Previously Reported.

--Palin Endorses Trump To Help Him With Iowa Tea Party; John Wayne’s Daughter Jumps On Trump Stage Coach With Endorsement; Sarah’s Oldest Son Arrested On Domestic Violence Charge.

My doctor’s 11 year old son wondered why there was so much commotion about the Eagles’ Frey: “The Eagles didn’t even make the playoffs,” said the bewildered young man to a smiling Mom. Nice to see a boys heart is in the right place.

Have you wondered what would happen if the battery in your keyless car fob died? From where I’m sting, it appears that you could not start the car, much less get in it in the first place. There is no mechanical override apparent to these eyes, or any searching I have done. Basically you are screwed unless you carry an extra fob. Don’t you just love new technology.

So, did you hear about the guy who got pulled over for speeding? “What’s wrong Officer,” said the man with a innocent face. “You were doing 60 in 40 mph zone,” came the authoritative reply, “Oh. I thought sixty was the new forty!”

Leonard DeCaprio makes $25 Million per movie. Yesterday he took the stage to denounce Greed on Wall Street.

One of the nice things aging couples realize is that they lose their hearing, eyesight and walk with creaking legs, together.

I like Bernie Sander’s Line as he talked about-his growth in the polls: “We were 50 points behind the inevitable Democratic nominee. Well guess what – the inevitable candidate ain’t so inevitable today.”

The decline of the Stock Market doesn’t really have to be inevitable, either.

For several years now, the keen eyed economists of the Tids Business Department have been following the changes in retailing, because it is so dynamic these days, providing lots of fodder for writing. First, it has become apparent that nobody is seriously buying until discounts get to 30%. Old line department stores have sales continually, so that most products begin their rack and shelf life discounted. (Some people feel that Kohls pays you to buy there.) Today, in the latest big move that will continue to transform the industry, Macy’s has announced a new venture, developing a store chain called “Backstage”. It is designed to copy and compete with outlets like TJ Maxx and Nordstrom Rack. Your local Macy’s may sport a new sign soon. Inside you’ll find merchandise at 80% off! Yikes. Macy’s and others will be surprising us a lot in the months and years to come as they try to get the younger audiences, off-line!

Remember IBM? Union Carbide, Westinghouse, US Steel? Polaroid, Kodak, Paine Weber, Woolworths, Eastern Airlines, TWA? Standard Oil, Pullman? EF Hutton? Blue chips can make you blue.

The Answer:

Jan 20 became the date for inaugurations with the second election of FDR. All Presidents since FDR have stepped to the dais on a cold Jan 20 day, except the second terms for Ike, Ronald and 0-Man, (Jan 21 is used when Jan 20 falls on a Sunday)  Bonus: Lenny DeCaprio is tops at $25 Mil. He is followed by Sandra Bullock ($20M), Matt Damon ($20), Robert downy Jr. ($20), Denzel Washington ($20 and almost there is Angelina Joli at $15-$20 mil/flick. I guess she is crying for equal pay. The $10-15 M are Dwayne Johnson, Mark Wahlberg and Jennifer Lawrence. Those who will probably rise to the upper strata for a given film would be Bradley Cooper, Ben Afleck, and Channing Tatum.

Rodney Dangerfield didn’t have a very good self image. In fact he once, “Told his father he was tired of running around in circles. So he nailed my other foot to the floor.” Ouch!

“I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.”

“Somebody stole my car. I asked my wife if she saw it was. She said no, but she got the license.”

“When I was a kid, my mother and father were always moving. But, I tracked them down.”

“My wife always has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.”

“I got no respect from my father. I asked how to fly a kite and he said run off a cliff.”

“Rodney came from a very tough neighborhood. The specialty atg the local restaurant was broken leg of lamb.”

“When I was a kid in show business I was poor. I’d go to orgies t eat the grapes.”

“I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.”

 I could go on until 4:00 when the stock market closes, but my fingers are tired.