Sell thyself.

Today's Tids Issue 4,345

Closets have doors. Step out. Be dazzled.

How do you stop madmen? Is a mass killer of the innocent any different than a man who with his fists pummels a wife and child? Is there pure evil? How do we open all hearts to love? Yet we will condone irrational anger and hatred in illogical speech as long as it supports a personal cause. Is that pure evil? Have we lost our way? What flows though the veins of people that brings out the black? Why do people hate?

I really try hard not to hate anything. But as a kid I do remember hating waiting for parades to begin.

For about ten thousand years, people were happy producing and eating flat bread. Then one day about 5,000 years ago somebody, somehow discovers yeast, a fungus. He thinks to himself, hey me, I have an idea. If I Just put this fungus into my flatbread batter it will make a loaf that is soft and fluffy. How does he know?

Somebody told me I should learn sign language. It’s pretty handy.

Good legislative ideas deteriorate when governments put all revenue in the general fund.

The Question:

What was Aunt Effies Farm? Bonus: In the late fifties, Marty Robbins sang a song about how he was all dressed up for the dance, and for romance. What was he wearing?

The Headlines:

--Markets Appear Capable Of Rising Above Mediocrity To Begin Week; Deutsche Bank Merger With Commerzbank Expected To Eliminate 30,000 Jobs; Lyft Looking For $23 Billion From IPO.

--Dutch Police Looking For Mad Gunner Who Opened Fire On Crowd On Train In Utrecht; New Reports Expected on Injuries and Deaths.

--Black Box Says Ethiopian Accident Same As Earlier Disaster In Indonesia; Boeing Stock Drops, Again..

--India Billionaire Azim Premji Giving $7.5 Billion To Charity Involved Mainly In Education Improvement.

--Jeb Bush Is Pushing For A Repub Challenger To Trump; Beto Raises $6.1 Million In 24 Hours..

--Jewish Voters Furious Over Dems Support For Omar.

--New Poll: Gallop Says AOC Unfavorable Rating Hs Risen In 6 Months 15 Points To 41%.

--Google Answers Trump Tweet And Joint Chiefs Head Genal Joseph Dunford Comment That Big Tech Giant Is Aiding China Military; Google Says It Is Not In Any Way Helping The Chinese Military.

--Shaquille O’Neal Named Deputy Sherriff For Broward County Fla.

--Irishman Rory McIlroy Wins Renown Players Tourney On SP Day.

--Nearly $9 Billion Expected To be Wagered On Final Four.

From time to time I will read the story behind one of those social media outrage flurries and most of the time can only think, how dumb is that. And what is it really, another thoughtless moment that drives hatred between debating parties, generally over nothing.

Another nutty trend is “Unimoons”. That is the emerging new current post marriage option where the two newlyweds go it alone to their favorite destination mainly because one doesn’t like where the other wants to go. Psychologists will rationalize it, but I wonder how they will make sacrifices for each other when something really important happens. Is this just the next chapter in the “Me” generation?

Good news for Royalty fans – Meghan and Kate actually like each other quite a bit. See, the world isn’t crumbling after all.

I hear people who preach love and then hate those who don’t believe in what they are saying.

The name of the girl with one leg shorter than the other was Eilene.

BTW, I am definitely not one of those awed by the so-called “beauty” of Meaghan Markel.  I think, for starts, she has a funny looking nose. And, I’ll tell you another actor who has a funny looking nose – Kate Blankinsale. Now of course, every woman who thinks their noses look like Kate’s or Megan’s’ will hate me.

In case you are behind the times, the fastest growing jobs industry in the USA is marijuana. Put that in your corncob pipe and smoke it.

The closing of Toys r’ Us affected the revenue for a lot of manufacturing companies, proving once again that no matter how good and smart engineers and manufacturers are, they accomplish nothing without a good sales person.

And that goes for entertainers and artists, and writers too. There are many sitting on the sideline watching perhaps lesser talents get ahead because they knew how to sell themselves.

Think about how tis world works. The sports media has promoted the Players Championship up to near “Majors” status simply because of an island green on a par three hole.

It’s bracket filling time! I’ll give you my final four tomorrow. I reviewed he brackets this morning and it looks tough, especially knowing how some of these low seeded teams can be better than the lords of the tournament would allow’; upper class laden teams able to bring down the popular giants with one-and-done super freshman. And you have to figure Minnesota coach Richard William Pitino is talking to dad Ricky P about the Gophers foe and his  former team, Louisville.

Now when people watch movies or TV shows with Blankinsale and Markle, they will only look at their noses. The power of mass hypnotism.

Did you hear about the guy who didn’t like these new soup tureens? He had irritable bowl syndrome.

Kristen Gilllibrand is trying to reinvigorate her campaign. What campaign?

I know I’m fading into the sunset when I realize that I can’t name one Reality TV Star. Maybe fading is a good thing.

The Answer:

Aunt Effie’s Farm in Massachusetts was where space guru Robert Goddard tested the first liquid fueled rocket.

Have you noticed that many avowed environmentalists on the left are looking once again at carbon free nuclear as probably the most effective fuel for the future of energy? Windmills and solar farms produce expensive energy, but more important, according to environmentalists, solar farms destroy forests and nature, while Windmills kill big birds. Some Dem candidates are mentioning the “N” word in their campaigns. The seesaw moves up and down.

The soldier who survived pepper spray and mustard gas was a seasoned veteran.

Sell a products. Sell an idea. Sell yourself. The world needs you.