Zooming together!

Today's Tids Issue 4,616

Stomp on Germs:

April showers seem to be taking over late March. But then I have noticed May flowers already beautifying our local streets and fields. Maybe that’s a sign that that virus bloom they keep showing on TV will be leaving us earlier rather than later.

I had a disagreement with my dancing school teachers. I said I had two left feet and she said, “Too right”!

I am hearing lately a bit of taking sides in this Covid thing. And it is the same old “Either-Or” antagonization rather than understanding mutual balancing. The topic is being framed as choosing the life of a loved one over the economy, with no consideration that both severe problems facing society are interwoven. I don’t believe that any rational person would disagree that human lives are paramount. Yet after the inevitable health recovery, a dysfunctional economy could produce even more extreme pain. Perhaps for a longer period of time. Let’s forget the concept of “Either/Or.

With this Covid thing, daily weather alerts don’t look as nearly as threatening…unless you live in a tornado zone.

I generally have all weekend to edit the Monday morning Tids, yet within that nano second when my finger presses “Send”, I spy a typo that’s getting away.

NOW is up in arms after this latest headline becoming prevalent across America. “Male Ballots Only for Voting.” Oh, it isn’t that male.

And have you heard that coronavirus layoffs are having a bigger impact on men than women? Women are only losing 79 cents to every dollar that men are losing.

The Question:

What is unique about these English words: Animal, Deliver, Looter, Diaper, Drawer and Straw? Bonus: Who said these well-known quotes: 1. “Give me Liberty or Give me Death.” 2. “Don’t fire until you see the whites of their eyes.” 3. “I regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.”  4. “It is not tyranny we desire, but just limited central government.” 5.  “We have it in our power to begin the world over again.”  6. “These are the times that try men’s souls.”  7. “I have not yet begun to fight.”  8. “We must all hang together, or surely we will all hang separately.”

The Headlines:

--Wall Street Soaring; Expecting Good News On CV Rescue Bill.

--Senate Getting Close To Deal On Corona Stimulus.

--Trump Sending Signals About Shortening Length Of Close Downs; White House Working To Find Means To “Re-Open” America.

--Michigan, West Virginia, Indiana, And Oregon Latest To Issue Stay At Home Leaders; Rhode Island Will Quarantine For 14 Days All Air Passengers Arriving On Flights From Anywhere; Massachusetts Shutters All Non-Essential Businesses.

--“Real ID” Deadline Pushed Back From October 1.

--Half Of Iran’s Government Employees To Work Remotely.

“Give me liberty or give me death.” Hmmm. Sounds like a decision dilemma facing a lot of quarantined people.

One way to escape into laugher is to get in your car and drive around using your XM/Sirius radio to listen to “Jeff and Larry’s Comedy Roundup”. It’s drive-off-the-road funny. That, btw is Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy (Daniel Lawrence Whitney), who are funny themselves, but the program features quick bits from lots of comedians. Like Bill “There’s your sign” Engvail.. “I’m preheating the oven and preparing my chicken in the baking pan. My wife comes over, ‘Gonna bake a chicken?’ I look at her, ‘No, I’m cremating it and gonna sprinkle the ashes over Colonel Sanders grave. There’s your sign” It’s funnier When you are there.

Or, a truckdriver gets stuck under a low bridge causing a massive traffic jam. A cop comes over, “Got stuck, huh?” The driver says, “No, I was delivering the bridge and I ran out of gas. There’s your sign.”

Meanwhile, pregnant Elle of comic strip “For Better or For Worse” is about to have her baby, and it is windy and icy and cold in Canada. (Of course, this is the second go-around for this always poignant strip. So, I pretty much know what happens, but I’m anxious as ever.)

There are many ways to use Zoom the video conferencing site to stay in touch and have lively conversations. It is the favorite of business, and is really being used regularly these days. But, how good would it be for sequestered humans? Why not a cocktail party or for discussions on favorite subjects or garden club meetings or playing a family game like Yatzy or Scrabble. Geezers could talk sports over coffee, and teens could model prom dresses for friends. No snide comments please. It’s creative options for isolation entertainment is endless. It costs a little, but it is a lot cheaper than buying drinks at a bar, and won’t get you in as much trouble.

Local sports question of the day: “Should the Patriots trade Julian Edelman?

“Say it isn’t so, Shoeless Joe,” -- The great comment that encapsulates the anguish of fans. Don’t be too quick Bill Belichick!

If my memory is correct, I believe had heard something about impeachment in the distant past. Or was it closer. I forget. What will we forget next – Covid?

One of the dumber TV commercials is about this guy running around trying catch up with an Idaho poetese truck. I don’t even like Idaho potatoes.

Life is funny. There was a heartwarming story in the newspaper this morning about the death of a woman who had contributed much to society, locally and nationally. It was well written. And yet I had conflicted feelings. Am I that cold hearted, I thought? And then I realized that the picture they used showed her dressed in a Ya, Ya, Ya… (Well you know who I mean)… uniform. I couldn’t get past it. Prejudice always gets in the way.

In all of the past recessional times, even in 2008, we didn’t have the high powered technology to move us faster a long as we have now.

I thought a good idea would be to quickly write a “Quarantine Cookbook.” Pressured Cookery. But I figure somebody a \t some publicizing house had already opportunistically commissioned one. And furthermore, what’s wrong with all of those cook books already published sitting on pantry shelves. But you know people. If somebody says here’s a book for Quarantine cooking, a lot of people will think there is something different about it. Especially if a celebrity hawks it on Ellen.

Political cartoon of the day:

Bloomberg: “I’m here for your guns.’

Bernie: “I’m here for your money.”

Biden: “Why am I here?”

The phrase “Non-Essential” is being tossed around a lot. It means different things to different people. I think most all businesses are essential, to the economy.

A good part of this morning’s Tids was written to the music of Mozart.

The Answer:

I expect all of you keen-eyed readers could see that they are different words both backward and forward – Lamina, reviled, retool, repaid, reward and warts! They are called “Semoduilaps”. That is opposed to palindromes where ten word is the same backwards and forwards Bonus: 1. Patrick Henry 2. Israel Putnam 3. Nathan Hale 4. Thomas Hamilton 5. Thomas Paine 6. Thomas Paine 7. John Paul Jones 8. Benjamin Franklin.

TIDS backwards means Same Disaster Interrupting Today.

There’s this little germ

That’s making us squirm.

But he’s got all wrong

We humans are strong.