It’s never exactly as they tell you.

Today's Tids Issue 4.683

Remember Perspective:

 

“Some people see things that are and ask, why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, why not? Some people go to work and don’t have time for all that.”  --George Carlin

 

The economy is loaded with what Wall Street hates most – Uncertainty.

 

Consider that a clue for your investment strategy.

 

The latest common American word on the road to the semantic dumpster is “Master”, as used in Master Bedroom. Double yikes! Yes, the Houston Realtor Association will now call the room Primary Bedroom. The linguistic loonies are mastering the heresy of closed oppressive societies.

 

The Question:

11,600 people voted on the Best Car Manufacturers of All Time. Who do you think came out on top?

 

The Headlines:

--EU Keeps USA Off “Safe List” Of 14 Countries; Will Bar US Non-Essential Airline Passengers.

--Markets Open Lower On Last June Trading Day; May Home Contract Signings Jump 44%; Biggest One Month Increase Since 2001.

--Xi Signs Hong Kong “Security” Law That Makes Pretests Illegal; EU, UK And Nato Express Anger, Saying It Cripples Entrepreneurial Spirit, And Spirit Of Original Agreement Between UK and China.

--Newsom Suggesting That LA County Could Be Closed Down Again.

--Covid Economic News: Restaurant Reservations In Florida, Texas And Arizona flipped Negative During The Past 7 days; Only 4% Of Americans Forced to Work From Home Due To Covid Have Returned Back To Previous Location; 41% Of Retailers Say It Would Take Up To Five Years To Recover.

--Supreme Court Nixes Louisianan Restrictions To Abortion Access; Pro-Lifers Point Out Inconsistencies In Applying Abortion Rule Decisions.

--Early TV Comedian, Writer, Producer Director And Dick Van Dyke Show Creator Carl Reiner Dies At 98.

--Covid Induced Furloughs Turning Into Layoffs Across Many Industries.

 

Think of all the ambitious kids with lemonade stands who won’t be able to exist in a cashless society?

 

“I saw a commercial on late-night TV that said, ‘Forget everything you know about slipcovers.’ So I did. It was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell slipcovers and I didn’t know what they were.” –Mitch Hedberg.

 

Regardless of everything else going on, the Prez Election is Still About control of Supreme Court nominations.

 

How can I still be positive and report on today’s society?

 

These People Vote, Department:

Among the just released Top 100 names for children, one is Corona. People are naming their kid after a disease! Think about that the next time somebody tells you the public will be able to wade through the rhetoric to find the truth.

 

Think of all the ink Middle East countries have saved by not using a ”U” after “Q”

 

Did you see where Universities are firing professors who criticize BLM. I think we have a problem. Will America still be America in fifty years?

 

Oldies but Punnies, Department:

--I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

--Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and didn’t amount to much. He was known as the lesser of two weevils.

 

A quite astute political observer and friend, suggests that as Trump’s poll number disintegrate, Repubs may have scenario that would keep them in control. As it is evident on a daily basis, President Trump hates to lose. To avoid potential humiliation, he drops out citing evidence of a media conspiracy combined with a Dem rigged election. The GOP sets up a youth ticket of Nicki Haley and Marco Rubio, a bright, likable woman and solid Hispanic Senator forma key state. The two go after Joe’s age and capitalize on an undercurrent pushing to get the national leadership younger. This pair would save the senate for Repubs and in all probability be elected. Unless of course there is a Dem conservancy to rig an election. Nicki Haley for President. Has a nice ring to it.

 

Before he leaves office, Trump pardons himself, and sells his Hotel empire ravaged by Covid; uses the cash to create his own Cable Trump News network. Snopes will not be allowed. Everything will be true.

 

“My neighbor has a circular driveway. He can’t get out.” --Stephen Wright

 

Did you see where Iran has hired a Romanian Lawyer who has filed a lawsuit against Donald Trump and 36 others for the “Illegal” drone strike that killed Iran’s. Qasem Soleimani. The report says that the suit will follow the president now and after he exits office. What a world we live in. Close the borders.

 

The Answer:

Number one is Ferrari. It is followed by Mercedes Benz, Audi, BMW, Porsche, Aston Martin, Lamborghini, Toyota, Rolls-Royce, Bentley, Jaguar, McLaren, Honda, Bugatti, Tesla, Ford, Subaru, Lexus, Koenigsegg, Volkswagen, Maserati, Pagani, Mazda, Volvo, Chevrolet, Alfa Romeo, Range Rover, Nissan, Cadillac, Dodge, Jeep, Acura, Lotus, Infiniti and Buick. Volvo surprised me a bit. The old Hudson Motor Car made the list at 41. Hyundai is 46, Lincoln 50, Packard 58, Mini 61, Studebaker 63, Plymouth 54, AMC 68, Peugeot 70, Saab 73, Chrysler 74, Cord 79, MG 82, Triumph 85 and last at 98, the Crosley.

 

So, we start another day under grey clouds, but a broad smile from a good friend always makes the skies seem blue to me.

 

Laugh hard at something! It’s better than sweating at a gym.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

More than one dimension

Today's Tids Issue 4,682

Wagging the Dog?

 

Good bye, my Eskimo Pie.

You are the latest word

We now must deny,

In this world entirely absurd.

 

You should never listen to Shostakovich in the morning if you intend to wake up your mind peacefully. But it is better than finding and throwing away dead mice caught overnight in traps.

 

Milk is so fast that before you know it, it’s pasteurized.

 

America Matters! That’s my new theme and I’m sticking to it. Obviously, there are many noble aspects to the national drive to bring sanity to a minority of police operatives and general operations. No question. But many groups with not such a noble heart jump in to capitalize on chaos to further their own agendas which are usually not the furthering of America’s greatness, and general harmony among citizens. So, while many become genuinely emotionally involved in the important matters of the moment, let’s not give into disingenuous superlative hyperbole built upon these honorable objectives. Lest all good causes will be subverted.

 

Capitalism is crowd funding at the highest levels.

 

I heard sports guy on the radio this morning say: “Baseball has been the soundtrack of every day of my summer life.” Yes, I feel that too.

 

But, starting extra innings with a man on second base?

The Question:

Who succeeded first Back Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall upon his retirement? Bonus: Quick – Which countries were the home of the Incas and Aztecs?

 

The Headlines:

--Consumer Confidence surging In Northeast; Lagging In Midwest And West; Lowest in South; Markets Reacting; Markets Waiting For Reports On Pending Homes Sales And Manufacturing Activity; June Jobs Report Due Thursday.

--Dow Surges At Opening.

--Global CV Deaths Pass 500K.

--Four Gunman Kill Five In Bold Attack Of Pakistan Stock Exchange In Karachi; Baloch Liberation Army Takes Credit; Four Gunman Killed By Guards.

--Facebook Stock Dips As World Corporations Suspend Ad Spending As Part of Global Boycott About Of Control Over Hate Speech; Twitter Also Being Hit.

--Biden Moves Further Ahead In Polls.

--Green Wave Seems In Control In Paris; Socialist Mayor Anne Hildago Reelected.

--Gilead Sets Covid 19 Drug At $5, 240 Per Person For Five Day Treatment; Makes Deal With HHS; Sets Up Manufacturing In Pakistan And India.

--Cal’s Newsome Orders Bar Closures In California Covid Hot Spots.

--Russia or no Russia Bounties To Taliban To Kill US Military Latest Whirlwind News Event Among Politicos In DC.

 

Of all the hazards on a golf course, nothing compares to the trap that is my mind.

 

Did you hear about the new cover band called Duvet?

 

It seems to me that too many of the colleges and universities whose main objective has always been to help young people expand their fertile minds have diverted their raison d’etre to a secular religion of intolerance and narrow futility. They have become the Puritans of Plymouth and Salem.

 

Oldies but Punnies, Department:

(The Tids continues to resurrect classic puns of the past issues.)

--I recently too a pole and found out that 100% of e people are angry when their tent collapsed.

--A guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast. He orders Eggs Benedict. A while later his order comes served on a hubcap. “What’s this?” he asks the waiter. e waiter sings, “There no place like chrome for the hollandaise.”

 

Come to think of it, shouldn’t the people in line at the door to a restaurant be called the waiters?

 

Compared to Email spell checking, Word Spell-Check is a Mensa member.

 

I’m thinking, why would the Taliban need bounties to kill American Soldiers? They’ve been doing it for free for 20 or so years. Not a controversy here. I’ve have just become disinterested in news. And it often becomes even more weird in an election season. It’s tough to find headlines that aren’t in reality political darts.

 

The most hyperbolic word usage of our times is “Systemic”.

 

When walking in the park, don’t stand still, Department:

With the tumbling of statues, City avian officials are becoming concerned about just where pigeons will poop.

 

Personally, I believe that most national news reporters are just too hysterical.

 

When you think about it, Lettuce is kind of useless unless you are some kind of herbivores rodent.

 

The First Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you have to pee.”

 

The Answer:

Thurgood was succeeded by black SC Justice Clarence Thomas. One of the problems with America is that a lot of people don’t consider him black. That’s one reason why so many simple appearing arguments are weird. Bonus: This one of those questions where I always have to stop and think: Incas Peru or Mexico, Aztec Mexico or Peru. Incas of course are Peru and Aztecs are Mexico.

 

America Matters. There is always a danger that when we are driven by emotion that the basics are overlooked. The basic ideals of America have lured millions to experience freedom for nearly 250 years. And even earlier as the persecuted and subjugated looked to the West for new opportunities, to escape tyrannical governments.  We are special. We should resist being painted with a broad brush of negativity. We must never let the foundations of true freedom crumble. Nor the people’s voice be squelched by bullhorns. But we must listen, and we must alter paths that have deviated away from the honest heart of a great nation. We must redirect ourselves upon that strong foundation.

 

If lettuce is so good, why are companies making billions selling salad dressings?

 

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how a Mercedes bends. Shoot me!