Send in the Clowns.

 

Today's Tids Issue 4,749

Make us Laugh:

 

"Good humor is a tonic for mind and body.  It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression.  It is a business asset.  It attracts and keeps friends.  It lightens human burdens.  It is the direct route to serenity and contentment." –Grenville Kleiser.

 

There’s a lot of bad humor out there and even worse, no humor at all. Think of the stalemates we could cut though if there was more laughter among adversaries. If hearts opened for a laugh instead of closing to fight. I try to see humor in a lot of things. But I would be accused of being insensitive for some of it. But I think it is because I am sensitive that I can see the laughter over the anguish and the hate. But this isn’t about me, it’s about a world that seems to have lost its sense of humor.

 

Ever wonder why the word funeral starts with fun?

 

Keeping the markets above water will become more difficult as permanent layoffs pile up. A lot of businesses seem to be approaching their “I can’t take it anymore” limits. I’m not laughing. But I know a good joke – Financial collapse in Japan: Origami Bank has folded; Sumo bank has gone belly up; Bonsai Bank is cutting back some branches; There is something fishy at Sushi Bank; Kamikaze Bank has nosedived. did I say I knew a good joke?

 

This is the time of year when people just drive in beautiful oblivion mesmerized by the scenes of fall, summer morphing into winter. Of apple stands on country roads and pumpkins arrayed in orange fields. You don’t have to go anywhere in particular to be extraordinarily happy.

 

The Question:

Only five bands, acts have made over $1 billion dollars from touring. Name them.

 

The Headlines:

--More Covid Induced Temporary Layoffs Are Becoming Permanente; “Permanent Job Losers” Are Up To 3.75 Million From 3.43 Million In Previous Month.

--After Debate, Biden Ups Lead To 14 Points From 10.

--Stocks Open Higher ON News Of Improved Health Outcome For President.

--Fires In West have New Consumed Over 4,000,000 Acres; new Near Hurricanes take Aim At New Orleans Region, Again.

--News Watchers Say Trump Health Status Still A Guessing Game.

--Medical People Aghast At President’s Political Excursion Around Walter Reed Hospital.

--Thousands In Germany Protest New Covid Restrictions; Ireland’s Health Chiefs Recommend 2^nd Nationwide Covid Shutdown.

--Americans Looking Forward To Saner Pence/Harris Debate On Wednesday.

 

Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned.

 

Permanent Job Losers may become the most significant new financial health monitor for the current era. It isn’t just Covid related. It’s also about downsizing and AI.

 

I knew a guy with a rye sense of humor. His wife thought he drank too much.

 

If Trump were to have a prolonged health problem, could you ever imagine Nancy Lala-Pelosi playing second fiddle to Pence. Now, thee is a comedy skit in the making.

 

For many months now I have been telling Trump supporters that he will have trouble winning if he doesn’t begin to understand that he can’t win with his base alone. That he has to become at least somewhat palatable, acceptable to many who like the Objectives of Republicans but can’t get beyond his acerbic personality. And now I hear Trump talk show supporters on the radio making the same pleas. And I think it is too late.

 

How come noses run and feet smell?

 

Did you see where Ireland ruled That the Subway Sandwich Chain’s Bread was ruled “not bread” because of high sugar content? It has a lot to do with taxes o food. Since it is now not bread, it is not considered food under Irish law. Subway does not think this is a joke.

 

People love to buy crafty decorative stuff, especially when it is sold out of old weathered barns.

 

Are we second waving now?

 

The only thing I listen to on XM/Sirius Radio is “Jeff and Larry’s Comedy Roundup”. I often drive off the road laughing. Other drivers hate it.

 

The Answer:

The Big Five are Rolling Stones (Over $1.5 Bill), U2, Bruce Springsteen, Madonna and Bon Jovi.

 

Why would anybody go to a doctor who is practicing medicine?

 

I would always vote for a funny politician.