Cutting to the chase.

 

Today's Tids Issue 5.427 

Patience works: 

 

 

Well, Octa de Maya everybody. Oops. Sorry, I thought it was trend.  It's just a regular day although I know somebody has appropriated it for something. * (You have just witnessed a real time demonstration of what writers have to do when they haven’t the slightest idea of what to say.) 

 

A woman was written about in the paper on Sunday. She was a Chemistry Professor and a good one at Brown U. In the article, on of her comments struck me: She said think about what the world may have become if Salk and Sabin had used their considerable talents to make a better Iron Lung than into discovering vaccines that essentially eradicated the disease. I think we spend too much time and money it this country battling the symptoms of societal diseases as opposed to eradctaing them/ Think about it. 

 

The person who named the "Walkie Talkie" named the fork the "Stabby Grabby" Alert: The Tids Punster Laureate has just been fired. 

 

 

I'm pretty sure that “Green” will become pervasive in our culture even though often entirely impractical. It’s because lots are people have big investments in it and are making money on it.  Plain and simple. 

 

The Question: 

Name the five most infamous USA serial killers. 

 

The Headlines: 

--Stocks Drop After Strong Opening; Regional Bank Earnings Lower. 

--Driver in Brownsville Texas Kills Eight as his SUV Rips Through a Crowd. 

--Russia Launches Largest Drone Assault Yet Against Ukraine as “Victory Day” In Russia Looms Tomorrow; VD is Russai Defeat of Nazis. 

--White House Bracing For Possible Decision by Prosecuters to Charge Hunter Biden. 

--Trump Rape Trial Now Moves Forward After He Chose not to Testify. 

 

Costco is selling Volvo EV’s by offering a $2500 reduction deal. They cost about $53K and up, so that will have me standing in line tomorrow. Sure 

 

Biden sent 1500 soldiers to the southern border to register $750,000 new Dem voters per month. Good creative plan.  

 

I was going to make a joke about salt, but, Na. 

 

Have you heard about the Lonestar Tick? They are big down south and they are moving North according to reports. And they like to bite humans. If you get bitten you become allergic to animals with hooves meat. This is true. Really. I know a good guy up here who has been bitten and who has the meat issue, and it is very serious. He has to travel to North Carolina for the best medical treatment. And he is happy for the inconvenience because the agony at first was at times horrendous. The disease is called Alpha-gal Allergy. There are about 5,000 cases in the US. My friend tells me the docs down there are close to a potential cure, but right now he cannot eat pork, beef, lamb and dairy, or it is physically devastating. He knows. The tick a has prominent white spot, “Star”, on its back and looks like any other tick. Leggy and ugly. 

 

I’m guessing serious conspiracy by vegans and hooved animal flatulent activists. What better way to get rid of meat. I'm thinking they are working with the Wuhan Lab. You never know, do you. 

 

Charlie Munger, Warren Buffet's top guy and opiner says he would rather stick with the human brain. It is not hard to see what happens when humans stop thinking for themselves. All we have to do is look at what's happening to America. Wait until the big apocalyptic takes over.  

 

Soeakign of allergies, Superman won't be visiting Dracula this evening. He'll be avoiding the crypt tonite. 

Ok, just forteh sake of creating a potnetial prodcytive ddscauuinabthe cause of eteh increble mass sh death insccndets. Lets take guns off the the tabel,  

 

I heard about a horrible river dragon that lurked in the waters under the old London Bridge and destroyed passing boats, eating the crews and passengers. Finally, a group of brave knights lured it up onto the banks and, with great loss of life, managed to slay the horrible beast. After the conquest, Sir Newt suggested that they grind up the foul beast and use it for food in the local orphanage to cut down on the wasteful cost of gruel. Thus, Dicken's opening line..."It was the beast of Thames, it was the wurst of Thames." 

 

Stephanopoulos and the rest of the intrepid ABC political observers were visibly distraught Sunday morning when discussing the new ABC poll showing Trump with a healthier than expected lead over Joe B. Then they got into his falling popularity numbers. I don’t think we’ve seen anything yet. What a mess for America.  

 

The Answer: 

It was eerie writing this answer. #1 is Jeffery Dahmer. Next is Ted Bundy followed by the Zodiac Killer, John Wayne Gacy, Richard Ramirez, Ed Gein, Edmond Kemper, Christopher Starver, Aileen Wuornos and Number 10, H. H. Holmes (!880’s era and may have killed 200 at his “Murder Castle”. Jeffery Dahmer was a Gemini. Yikes. 

 

As opposed to the old serial killers, today’s mass killings are somewhat reflective of today's society. Nobody has the patience to wait for anything anymore. That was kind of a sick observation wasn’t it.  

 

And, this just in from the Tids Punster Laureate (TPL): I've tried to come up with a bird of prey pun, but no falcon way I could.