Give me a good Mormon any day.

Today's Tids Issue #2,356

Opening Stuff:

Lest We Forget Department:
As the Pols continue to try to divert attention away form real issues that take real courage to solve, it was refreshing yesterday to hear this reminder from Timothy Geithner: "..The country's debt is so severe that Congress must deal with it or face the risk the country will be charged much higher interest rates to borrow." It is impossible for intelligent people, if there are any courageous enough to remain in Government, to keep their heads in the sand on this one. It is real, and real scary. Lets take another look at the Ryan proposal. It is that serious folks.

Where have you been all my life Tyler Seguin?

How many times do you found the perfect solution to a project, or perfect words for a writing after moving your mind to another place for a while, and then coming back. You invariably see right in front of you what had been there all of the time but you never saw at all the first time.

Police have reported that the shooting behind the carpet store was rug related! Thanks as always to Cassatt and Brookins.

The Question:
A reader sent me a list of "Red Neck Country" medical terms. See if you can come up with their definition of these common terms: Dilate, Impotent, Cauterizem Caesarian Section, Pelvis, Tumor, Artery and Bacteria.

The Headlines:

--Mississippi Waters Inching Closer To Tops Of Levees.
--Wall Street reluctant To make Bets Ahead Of Fed Food For Thought.
--HP Disappoints: Dell Glistens After Reporting "Blow Out" Profits.
--Germany begins Lobbying For European To Head IMF If Alleged Rapist Steps Down; Europe Debt Problem Biggest Factor On World Financial Stage.
--Bus Attack In Eastern Afghan Kills 10 Civilians.
--More Cases On Extreme Home Makeover Appearing To Be Fraudulent; Producers Worry That They Will Taint The Truly Needy.

That IMF Chief and Socialist candidate for the French Presidency, Strauss-Kahn. sounds to me like a true "Don't-you-know-who-I-am" elitist slug. A lover of the fruits of capitalism who espouses the community of socialism for his groveling minions. Despite the protests of his well paid lawyers, and innocent til proven guilty observance.

Personally, I like the Honda Element, but nobody seems to agree with me.

The great Harmon Killibrew died. He was for many years the 5th all-time Home Run hitter...that is until the steroid era! This fan favorite was known to be one of the nicest and most honest of all players ever. But, when it came to steroids, his seldom displayed rancor arose.

The networks are beginning to formulate their Fall programming now in time for the Summer ad sales push. CBS has three new Dramas -- 1. "Person of Interest" thriller form "Lost" creator Abrams; 2. "Unforgettable", a police dram about a cop with flawless memory; 3. "A Gifted Man", a surgeons ex-wife returns from the grave. #1 looks like it has a chance for me. There are also two new comedies -- 1. "2 Broke Girls" about two diner waitresses; 2. "How to be a Gentleman" about a refined newspaper columnist and an unrefined personal trainer.

So far, I have yet to see a network announcing the return of "24". Or even a reasonable knock-off of one of my all time favorite shows.

I see where the increasingly out of control Chris Matthews called Sarah Palin "Profoundly Stupid" again. He used as justification her first ever TV interview with Kati Couric...3 years ago. I agree that Sarah has some flaws, but how flawed is this supposedly intelligent journalist who can resist continually stooping downward himself towards profound stupidity.

One of the good things about hemp rugs in multi-hues of brown, is that coffee stains don't show.

The biggest obstacles to healthy eating based on a BH&;G survey to 3,700 women are : 1 (Tie) - "Not drinking enough water" and "Too Much Junk Food" (48%), Too Big a portions, overeating (42%), Can't afford high cost of healthier food (39%), Emotional eating (35%) and at 34%, what I think is the real problem for everybody despite what they say above -- Poor Will Power! I'm an expert on this, folks. Oh, Healthy food doesn't taste good. How about that one.

I have no problem with this Mormon thing in politics. Frankly, most of the Mormons I have known have been heads and shoulders above many other people I have met. They are in general kind, caring, honest and certainly giving. So I guess it bothers me quite a bit when Repubs are willing to throw under the bus good men like Romney and Huntsman primarily because they are Mormon.

Even if Tiger Woods reagins his health, he will not have that intimidation factor going for him against the new younger players. He won many tournaments in the past just by being in the mix and having leaders crumble after looking back and seeing him charge.

Almost Near: Chapter 21 continues. --"Hi!," Tucker smiled and tried to act confident and cheery,"I'm..."
  "I know who you are Sonny." Your that Easterner writer guy trying to get some dirt on my good family." She glared and definitely wasn't cheery. Tucker stiffened. "Well, Buster, you came to the wrong place."
  Now it was Audrey's turn to interrupt. "Listen, Mrs. Quimpierre, if that's who you are, you don't know what you're talkin' about and frankly your just actin' as dumb as your boys do when they come to town." The woman stood there speechless. "Now if you'll take a second to listen, Tucker might be helpful to your family and you to him. So lets go over an sit on those old benches over there." She turned and whispered to Tucker, "I'm not steppin' into that dirty old house." She squeezed his arm and chuckled under her breath.
  When they turned to sit they saw the Woman following them, but still with the evil eye of suspicion. She sat. OK, I'm Mrs. Quimpierree, and I don't much like what you have to say about my boys. But I'll listen to you."
  Tucker explained that Rudy's wife might be his former fiance who strangely left him 18 years ago. She listened quietly and nodded several more times. He finished with a couple of questions. "What did you think of Samantha? What kind of a person was Rudy? And what do you think happened to their children?

The Answer:
Dilate -- To Live long; Impotent -- Distinguished, Well Known; Cauterize -- To make eye contact with her; Caesarian Section -- An Area in Rome; Pelvis -- Cousin of Elvis; Tumor -- One plus one more; Artery -- The study of paintings; Bacteria -- The rear entrance to a cafeteria.

The End:
Good hitting is exciting, but winning is all about good pitching.

Now that the Trump ego train has left the GOP political scene, maybe we can get back to reevaluating solid performers who who don't see the need to wear clown suits when taking the podium. Maybe we need a dull but resourceful person to get the USA express back on track.

Mad, ugly winds.

Today's Tids Issue #2,352
Opening Stuff:

My stomach rolls over as I watch the devastation and the heartbreak of our Southeastern neighbors. People just like us all, who in the morning were changing diapers and in the afternoon changing lives. One day taking out the garbage and the next day looking at their home as trash. One woman interviewed said it all, "It makes you realize just how temporary life really is."

The NFL Player's Union (Even though it temporarily isn't, it is) is crowing again about their latest triumph in the courts. But, reading the opinions of the players and their lawyers it becomes obvious that this negotiation for them is more about free agency than anything else. That, in my mind could ruin the great "On Any Given Sunday" league. Free agency has ruined competitiveness in baseball and if not controlled or restricted as it it is currently is in the NFL, could alter the balance of a good show. I personally feel that the Anti-Trust issues are way off base here. There are no restrictions to any enterprise starting a competitive league. But each league should be like a gigantic Broadway play that are much stronger if all members of the cast are great. The owners are negotiating for sensible "untried rookie" salaries and some extra games (Which I disagree with) plus a bigger take on the income the league produces.

The Question: 
Kathleen Turner faded fast after a succession of notable rolls on the big screen. Name five of her best movies.

The Headlines:

--Death Toll From Southern Tornadoes Rises To 1954 In Five States; Lingering La Nina Contributor To record Rage.
--US Economic Growth Braked Sharply In First Q As Higher Gas/Food Prices Dampen Spending; GDP Growth Slowed To Disappointing 1.8% Annual Rate.
--Unemployment Claims Jump Back Up To 429K.
--Stocks Falter On Bad News.
--12 Year Old Padmanabh Singh Crowned Maharaja Of Jaipur Keeping Irrelevant Indian Royal Succession Alive; Was Not Invited To Former Empire's The Wedding.
--RI State Legislature Annuls Gay Marriage Bill.
--Exxon Has Best First Q Since '08.
--Marines Undergoing Training On How To Accept Open Gays.
--Syria Killing Continue; Britain Revokes Wedding Invite For Syria Envoy.
--Suspicious Explosion Kills 14 At Popular Moroccan Tourist Cafe.

Back to More Stuff:
There certainly was a lot of surprisingly bad economic data hitting the headlines today. And yet Bernanke was there yesterday at an open press meeting for the first time in history for a Fed Head minimizing and hedging answers to questions . Why?

American Idol: Last night was a good night of entertainment. It's what I like about this year, where all of the people are pretty versatile and full of positive surprises. Unfortunately, what I view as best and the various voting blocs are at odds. The most polished and energetic are to me Haley and James. Haley gets better and better, but is probably in jeopardy to go mainly because she doesn't appear to be breaking through to the big voter groups. On the other hand, Scotty (Who was very good last night) can do just about anything and be #1 or 2 each week. Likewise Lauren (Who I actually like a lot). Casey is a entertainer. I think Jacob has hit the ceiling, and I would predict him to go from a bottom three that also includes Haley and Casey. Anytime you think AI doesn't make sense just remember two names -- Chris Daughtry and Taylor Hicks.

Lies beget Lies Department:
The Supermarket Tabloid "Star" said in a statement regarding the settlement of a suit by Holmes: "...it did not mean to suggest that Ms. Holmes was a drug addict or was undergoing treatment for drug addiction." They continued to say "Star apologizes to Ms. Holmes for any misperception...". "Any misperception! How funny is that. Everything about these tabloids is misperceptional, preposterous inuendo. They only mean to create false impressions about innocent people. That's what they do. That's there business model.

Almost Near: Chapter 18. --Samantha sat alone in her room. It was something she had been dong lot lately. Sitting on a lonely bed, looking at a wall with mass produced art wondering who she was. Why she was here. What happened to her life. Did she ever have a life? Was it ever good? Was it ever like Lobster Cove?
The phone rang. She turned and looked at the clock. It showed that it was only 6:00 and it yet it felt like midnight to her. It couldn't be Dante. She picked up the receiver, "Hello."
"Hi Samantha!"
"Dante? Is that you. You're here already" She thought she sounded lost, confused.
"No, no, I just landed in Lancaster and am about to rent a car. I should be there in 45 minutes or so. You sound like you need a little excitement. Find a restaurant and make reservations, and I'll treat you to a happy feast!" Samantha smiled at that.
"That sounds exactly like what I need." And then she added, "I can hardly wait."
"Good," he now said pleasantly. "I like that."
A wave of concern overwhelmed Samantha.


The political climate has gotten so weird that even opposite ends of the spectrum have found something to agree upon...the silliness of the counter accusations.

In the latest sign of Spring, I see the henchmen for the Meter Maid KGB getting ready for another season of raping tourists.

Dorothy being carried away from Auntie Em by a tornado doesn't seem quite so charming these days, does it?

Trump is the classic candidate with a shoddy, confused platform and a lotta Home Shopping Network glitz.

Quote of the Week Department:
From White House Spokesman: "The release of the birth certificate had nothing to do with politics."

Many of the most overbearing, annoying laws on the books exist because people are rude, discourteous, irresponsible and generally inconsiderate of others around them and devoid of good all around common sense.

The Answer:
Who doesn't remember Katleen Turner as Matty Walker, the temptress supremo in "Body Heat". But she was also great, to me, in Romancing the Stone. Other notables were Peggy Sue got Married, War of the Roses, Prizzis Honor and as Jesica Rabbit in "Who Framed Jessica Rabbit." Excruciating arthritic pain and considerable alcohol intake stopped her career short.

The End:
All Bar exams should be testing all potential lawyers for innate propensities towards hysteria.

Eeyore.

Today's Tids Isssue #2,345
Opening Stuff:

It is not hard to imagine our favorite gloomy gray old donkey standing by himself in a thirsty little corner of America, looking out, his front feet well apart, his head to one side listening to the nightly news. He would think to himself, "Why?" And sometimes, "Wherefore?" And most other times "Inasmuch as which?" And then sometimes he wouldn't quite know what he was thinking about. Paraphrase W the P.

I think that Jan Brewer, Arizona Gov, made the right call in vetoing the birther and guns for college kids bills. If you want to make progress on the big important stuff, and I believe outlaw crossings at the boarder is big stuff, then you have be really, really intelligent when dealing with the small stuff to build credibility. There's a tendency on both sides of the political spectrum to over wield assumed power. It is neither good overall for the people nor the aims of an ideology.

Lost in the hodge-podge of fairly irrelevant news this week is the fact that today Is Holy or "Spy" Wednesday. This is the day that Judas betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of gold. Since the main stream media is focusing a lot of energy on nothing, I thought I'd report it.

Gold hit $1,503.30 this morning.

Eeyore would have been a perfect Red Sox fan.

There's only 248 shopping days left til Christmas.

The Question:
What are America's five most stressful jobs in 2011?

The Headlines:

--Markets Expected To Rebound.
--Italy Sending Instructors To Libya; Other NATO Trying To Fidn Ways To Get Around Humanitarian Limitation Clause.
--Blago Chicago Redo A Go.
--New HC Plans Say No Cuts In Medicare Advantage; Coming Election Moderates Stupidity.
--AT&T Subscriber Growth Slows As IPhone Becomes Available At Other Phone Companies.
--3 Days Of Court Ordered NFL Talks Shows Little Progress; 2011 Sched released -- Pats Have Mostly 4:15 and Night Games.

Back to More Stuff:
Repubs vs. 0-Man Department:
The people of America aren't confused because of a lack of an ability to think, they are generally confused because of an irresponsible, overwrought media. Nothing is plainer than their current rabid fascination with Trump and Trumpisms. But once again our guardians of the truth are reporting far beyond reality. The newest Washington Post/ABC News Poll (April17) indicates trouble for "Prime Time" on several fronts. In a match-up against Romney for instance, the incumbent would win 49% to 46%. Not much considering that Mitt has yet to start campaigning., "O" would only beat the Huckster 50-44 and Trump 52-40.

Oh, the media keeps touting the poll that shows Trump leading all Repubs with 26% of the vote versus Huck 17% and Romney 15%. This is a "PPP" Poll which has been known to be biased in favor of Democrats. The Repubs are confused enough without prejudicial polling. Stay calm.

When you pour steaming water down a rabbit hole you get a hot cross bunny.

Frankly, you can't find better cakes than the one's you can get at BJ's. And for great money too. Next time check out the "Caramel Dark Chocolate." Call ambulance service before eating.

Almost Near: Chapter 16 continues. --"You don't seem to know much about your parents, do you?" Samantha didn't speak. "What kind of man was your father?"
Samantha remained silent. What lie can I tell now. "Why do you ask?"
"When a man just disappears from view, it raises questions." Samantha smiled in agreement. "Have you ever been in Dalesford before?" Samantha tensed. Where was he going? Of course not, she thought to herself. Why is he asking?
"Have you ever seen me here?"
"I thought you looked familiar when I met you."
"Wasn't there a picture of me in the house?"
He put his hand to his chin and stroked it. "Perhaps." Then he leaned forward, his first show of emotion. "I thought maybe you could help me out with what I knew, but now you're triggering some new questions."
Samantha felt a small clutch of fear in her chest. Coming here was a mistake. She started to rise, put out her hand to say thanks for your time. He didn't budge. Didn't react.
"Where in town are you stayin'?
"I was going to start back East after this," she said firmly.
"Maybe you could stay another day. I'll find a room for you at the Shoo-Fly Inn. Good food."
"I really had to get going, but I guess another few hours tomorrow wouldn't hurt." With that a more animated Sparrow rose and shook her hand.
"Thanks". Samantha decided to call Dante.

Bugs Bunny is a rabbit with fleas.

FaceBook is now an official American company. This week they began an aggressive push to develop a string of Washington lobbyists. Watch out for your privacy.

The Answer:
I think this is an odd mix. Let's just say that it doesn't include Public Union employees. #1 is Commercial Airline Pilots. Next are Public Relations Executives, Senior Corporate Execs, Photo Journalists and Newscasters. Pervasive technology is one reason why stress is increasing in areas like news casting -- they have to be plugged in 24/7 or a YouTuber gets the scoop. Same for Photo Journalists. It is tough to hide in the new world

The End:
Sarah Palin has been very silent lately. The calm before the Presidential storm?

"It's snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily. "And it is awfully cold for April." However," Eeyore brightened, "The country didn't go bankrupt today."

Big Pile of Money syndrome.

Today's Tids Issue 2,298
Opening Stuff:

Did you ever stop to think how weird it is for the United States of America to be borrowing from China to give financial aid to countries who may or may not like us.

I like almonds quite a bit. I like em' to eat as a snack or toasted in green beans or atop chicken. How come then, I can't stand the taste of almond flavored cookies and other pastries?

Trump for Prez of a USA on the brink of bankruptcy makes sense. After all, who has had more experience at skirting bankruptcy than the Donald. Hair today, gone tomorrow.

The Question:
George Shearing, the great jazz pianist, died yesterday. Many of the great and most popular musicians of the 1950's were jazz pianists. Name five.

The Headlines:

--Weaker January Retail Sales Report Will Probably Send Stocks Lower Today.
--Italy's Berlusconi Indicted In Prostitution Probe.
--Iranian Protesters Facing Sterner Resistance.
--Southern Sudanese Blame North's Khartoum For Thuggery That Has Killed Over 200 In Advance Of Freely Elected Independence.
--IBM's Watson Holds Its Own In Jeopardy Match-up With Two Top Humans.
--Egypt Labor Marches For Higher Wages, Better Working Conditions.
--Dogs Follow Models Into NYC.

Back to More Stuff:
How about some meat before we get to the meat. I'm liking pork scallopini this morn, and it is easy to do. From loin of pork boneless roast slice pieces of about a 1/4 to 3/8's inch. Dredge with flour and sautee 1/4 cp butter about 3 mins each side. Remove from pan and deglaze with 1/4 cup Madeira (Or red of your choice) wine. Pour resultant sauce over pork and serve with favorite veggies and pot. I might saute spinach for this one.

One of my reliable Chicago sources points out that the new 0-Man budget is the first step in a Troy-esque move back to the far left. Typically a place where the 0-man has been unless, as now, political necessity demands he feign a move to the center.

I focus on that proposed Obama cut of the Pell Grants for summer school. Why do they have a fund for summer school in the first place? Why weren't those valuable funds always being used to put a couple of more deserving students into college? And, hey summer school grantees...did you ever think that the summer is a time you could work and maybe offset some of your parents sacrifice to get you through school? I don't want to see the media putting up students complaining about not being able to attend summer school on the taxpayer. No sympathy here.

But then, weren't many of the Obama budget cuts intended to do just that -- Bring out whiners that the media will rush to film.

Where ever there is a big pile of Government Money, there will be somebody there with a way to misuse it.

Almost Near: Chapter 7 continues. --Samantha stood there and stared at that now mysterious door. Locked doors are alluring. And this one for Samantha, felt eerily meaningful to her life. A life that seems new to her now. Yet not real. She tries the knob again. It resists. I'll ask Tucker about when he returns she thinks.
At the bottom of the narrow stairway she turns off the light, and notices a bowl of keys hidden behind a stack of papers near the refrigerator. She takes the bowl without moving the papers, turns the light back on and moves up towards the tempting door at the top.
The fourth key she tried works. It turns. She holds her breath and listens for the sound of anything approaching the house. The knob turns and she shoves open the door. She has to turn sideways to get in through narrow passage.
The room looks to her like a museum honoring one person who may have worked there. A handsome desk surrounded by expensive antiques
was the focal point. The art on the wall was quite remarkable she thought. One artist who seemed very good at capturing the beauty of a special town that looked like here, but not quite. Nothing seemed out of the place.
Samantha pulled open one drawer to find papers neatly bound with those metal fold back style pins. She picked up one and it appeared to be a manuscript. Turning the blank cover page, she gasped. the words she saw said "Days with Aunt Ginny.".

I was going to write a little piece on CBS 60 minutes and how on Sunday I noticed their host trying to get the Egyptian Google Guy Ghonim to acknowledge that their hero 0-Man was significant in the collapse of the evil Mubarak regime. I was going to write that until this morning when I read a Chilean rebuttal to another piece which 60 Minutes did that essentially threw a wet blanket over the heartwarming rescue of 33 miners. I don't watch 60 mins often because basically I don't like the interviewers, and because their journalistic judgment and honesty standards make my hair hurt. Oh, BTW, Ghonim deftly turned the Q about 0-Man's contribution aside with a politically correct answer.

It is interesting to note that while politics is quite a bit less than all of the stuff I write here, most people think I only write about politics. Well maybe not today.

Have you noticed how people like Italy's Berlusconi and Charlie Sheehan think that that their behavior is perfectly normal?

Did you know that the Budget proposed by 0-Man yesterday would add $7.5 Trillion to the national debt in ten years. That is the size of China's total economy! Oh, in case you missed it, China yesterday passed Japan to become the number 2 economy in the world...at $7.5 Trill.

The Answer:
I had quite a collection of jazz Pianist albums in the fifties. I would go into NYC to see the wonderful, blind George Shearing and others. I personally liked Ahmad Jamal and Erroll Garner. But Dave Brubek was close behind as was Duke Ellington and Oscar Peterson. Other notables were Art Tatum, Count Basie, Thelonius Monk, Miles Davis, Bill Evans and Horace Silver. I still have many of those 33's, but I fear they are covered with mold in a basement somewhere.

The End:
If you have been paying attention over the past couple of decades you have probably noticed that politicians propose cuts in budgets which they know will get the most vocal response; A response that will surely lend it self to media soundbites. This time however, we may have to have more people crying in the wilderness. It's real.

I think tomorrow's Tids will be funnier, and no political negativity. Unless somebody does something stupid.