Syria's Serious.

Today's Tids Issue # 2,331
Opening Stuff:

While the world and eager pundits continually debate the Mickey Mouse action against Daffy Duck, Syria burns. Yesterday's in-the-face-of-the-protesters speech ( Also know as Up-Yours) by the latest Assad could be the spark that really ignites the MiddleEast. Syria is a strategic regional player deeply involved in the overall peace process, with influence in Lebanon and deep relationships with Iran. Uncertainty in Syria could have the effect of rallying Hamas against Israel. The Middle east is weirder than ever...and scarier.

I never thought much of apple polishers in school and ass kissers in business. But, that's just me.

I don't know why, but one of my favorite new commercials is the one about Jennifer Hunt and her new baby.

Happy baseball everybody! Unfortunately, today's opener features the Ya-ya-ya...(Well You Know Who I Mean)..so I'm really not interested.

The Question: 
In 2007, France consumed 357.4 million 9 liter cases of wine. The US 313.8. Waht do you think the consumption was at the end of 2010? Bonus: Which modern day current pitchers have the most opening day starts?

The Headlines:
--US Sends CIA Teams To Libya; Considering Aiding Rebels.
--New Unemployment Apps Down To 388K; Market Futures Lower As Number Disappoints..
--Medicare Approves Payment For The $93K Protenge Drug Treatment Of Prostate Cancer.
--No Joke: Up To One Foot Of Snow Could Hit New England On April Fools Day.
--Japan Radiation Level Measurements Jump.
--RI DMV Customers Outraged.
Back to More Stuff:
I sincerely apologize for the troublesome amount of typos in Yesterday's installment of the wonderful Almost Near.

I see where Lays has invaded the shelves of the so called green, organic areas of the supermarket with "All natural Cheetos". Think about that for a minute. Fields of waving crinkly Cheetos, an orange shimmer across the great Midwestern plains. Neath the purple mountains majesty. Kinda makes you shiver doesn't it?

The two latestest Obama Approval Polls, Gallop and Rasmussen (3/27) have 0-Man at 49% and 43% approval and 44% and 56% disapprove. So depending where your opinions lie, you can always find a poll to support them. The average of all polls (6) over the last 2 week period is Approve - 47.3%; Disapprove - 48.7%.

American Idol Department:
Wow! That's what I say about last night. Maybe it was the Elton John song book that did it, but all of the performers showed some spark. First, my must stays for the good of great entertainment going forward are Lauren, Haley, Pia, James, Casey, Jacob and Scotty. Now to last night. The normally solid Scotty was solid and professional in a fair
sort of way. Paul who has a pleasant talent chose absolutely the wrong song. The rocket never got off the ground. Niamo wasn't bad, but she may find it difficult in the voting. Thia the programmed robot tried for some emotion, but I didn't feel it. Stefano was Stefano one more time. Which is nice but tedious. I gave exclamation points to Pia, Haley, Lauren, James, Casey and Jacob (Sort of). The bottom four are Paul, Thia, Niamo and Stefano. Some how Thia stays and Niamo and Stefano go.

Almost Near: Chapter 14. --Samantha nearly clipped an Amish buggy as she sped through Pennsylvania's beautiful hills towards Dalesford. She had the address from the newspaper article, and plugged into her GPS as she got closer. She didn't want to be nagged by the lady in the machine four 300 miles. She had her own problems. Now the arrogant voice of the woman with no heart was guiding her through the narrow streets of the town towards the home of her father. Would it be as forbidding as the last home she visited. Would he still be there. Another town, another life for me, she thought.
She felt calm as she parked her car about two houses down from the address that woman had yelled out from the machine. She turned off the GPS, picked up her purse, got out, and started towards the house. Before she knew it, she was standing confidently before the door. No tremors. No hesitation. She punched the bell and stood silently imaging what he would look like if her father opened the door.
Finally a mid teen aged boy stood there doorknob in hand. "I'm looking for Mr. Wilcox."
The boy stared straight ahead as if trying to pull something out of his brain without the aid of a PD. "Mom, where did that Wilcox guy live?" From the background Samantha heard, "down the street two houses" and then foot steps. "But he left town after his wife was found dead. Frankly, he just disappeared. His car and all his belongings were still in the house, but no Wilcox. It was odd. You a bill collector?"
Now seriously, Samantha thought, do I look like a bill collector. "No, I'm just a relative passing thorugh and the last Christmas card I received had this address."
Want to come in? I'll tell you what I know."
Samantha thought that the woman looked like a person who would do anything to talk to someone other than an teenager. Maybe she'd like to talk to the woman in my car!" Samantha smiled. "Sure"

I always knew that puppet-masters were controlling Congress people, but I never saw the strings to Schumer's mouth til yesterday.

There's no truth the rumor that Congress people avoiding the hard decisions about the deficit can be found hugging in Illinois with Wisconsin democrats.

Yesterday 0-Man unveiled a plan to reduce US dependence on foreign oil by a third. He announced some thin measures for tapping into the vast US oil resources. But, the gist of the talk was about becoming green. Today our oil policy is essentially determined by tree huggers. So if you're unhappy with increasing gas prices, don't blame the Arabs, blame the local greenies

How Politicians fake you Out Department:
Yesterday, Obama promised to cut the US dependence on foreign oil by a full one third by 2025...based on the starting point consumption of 11.1 million barrels per day which it was when he took office in 2008! Yesterday when he made his "bold" prediction, the foreign imports were already down to less than 9.4 million. That means he already had a 15% reduction under his belt. All of this improvement starting because of the efforts of George Bush in the mid 2000's. i.e. Since 2005 the dependence on foreign oil has fallen by 25%! What a crock.

Just think about how much further along we would be if 10 years ago we started drilling in Anwar?

People occasionally ask me why I write so much about the American Idol and not other shows like, for instance "Dancing with the Stars." The answer is simple. I like American Idol and I'm the Editor. Marooned on Tid's Island. Looking for survival in the most comforting way. Not watching Dancin' makes me happy.

I have this new Golf Yardage measuring device. My game still sucks, but now I know by how many yards!

The Answer: 
In just 3 years there was a huge turnaround. Maybe it was the recession. France is now below the US's consumption of 329.7 with 320.6. Who woulda thunk it? (That's not very good French.) Bonus: The Top Five are Roy Oswalt, Roy Halladay, CC Sabathia, Kevin Milwood and Beuhrle.

Tomorrow's Tids will be scant.

What to do. What to do.

Today's Tids Issue # 2,330

Opening Stuff:

As the debt mounts every day and the deficit clock continues click away to the point when creditors stop lending or rapidly increase interest, Congress has come up with a new plan. They'll all gather in a large dark room and repeat 100 times, "It will go away." It will go away..."

As Libya enters it's annual insect infestation season, citizens rejoice over the new "No Fly" zone.

The Question: 
People often wonder about what to do about their jobs/careers. Give me Ten signs that it is time to quit your job.

The Headlines:

--March Jobs Addition Number, 201K Meets Expectations; Feb Number Revised Downward To 208K.
--Stocks Rise On Data And M&A Activity.
--NASA Sends Back First Photo Of Mercury. http://www.space.com/11254-nasa-photos-mercury-orbit-messenger-spacecraft.html
--Libyan Rebels Retreat.
--Japan Nuke Dangers Rise.
--House Kills Obama's Ill Fated Foreclosure Rescue Plan; Left And Right Have Criticized The Plan As being Ineffective And Too Costly.
--Economists Worry That Nations With Strong Economies (China, India) Are Improving Too Fast And Weaker Economies (US) Too Slow.
--Ariz Gov Brewer Signs Into Law First Bill In Nation Banning Abortions Because Of Race Or Gender Of Fetus; Ban Prohibits Parents From Using Abortion As "Selection" Aid.

Back to More Stuff:
Have we forgotten the masses of Japanese dead and suffering and the devastated cities as the ADD news media turns its attention to the sexier nuke story? I haven't

Woman's Final Four looks good. UConn overwhelmed Duke on the way to what could be the second three consecutive championship run in the last 9 years. Baylor's loss was a big surprise, making Texas A&M the potential upset king...queen. Baylor has everybody coming back and could go into 2012 as #1. I love the guard play of Notre Dame. Stanford, the only team to beat UConn, could meet again for the championship. Great scripting here.

The powerful Eastern teams were shut out of the "Frozen Four", with mighty New Hampshire the last of the east bowing out in the eight. Much of the country overlooks the NCAA hockey championships, but they are among the most exciting.

Almost There: Chapter 13 continues. --Audrey turned serious and put on her reporter hat. "I went to the files and found what I thought I remembered. The Quimpierre disappearance was actually a fairly popular event about a year ago. You know, one day they are a family living on a street, coming and going. Taking kids to sports events. Occasionally going to church. Having people, over for cookouts. Then one day nobody sees them. Just like that, gone with no word of where they went."
"Family?" Tucker asked.
Audrey shuffled a couple of papers. "Yup, kids about 13 and 14. Two girls." Tucker nodded for her to continue. "There were a lot of interviews with neighbors and friends of Rudy. His friends, male and female, always wondered how he snagged a beautiful, well educated intelligent woman like Samantha. Rudy apparently had a wild childhood and ran with a pretty tough crowd before he became a "model" citizen.
"I met her alone. No husband. No 13 and 14 year old girls. Maybe I have helped you stumble on a book possibility that will make you famous!"
She smiled, "I looked you up on the web and found that you are a pretty good writer yourself." Audrey seemed very comfortable with this stranger.

Something must be going on because one by one NFL Team owners are coming forward saying "There will be a football Season this year." Bud Adams and Arthur Blank are the latest two. They must know something.

If chanting doesn't work, Congress people are expected to don Ruby Red Shoes, close their eyes and click there heels together three times. Yup that should do it. Talk about no heart, no courage and no brain!

My brother -in-law and I played golf with a couple yesterday. The woman said her name was Ruth, but she hated her name so she said, "You can call me Charlie." Golf is better when the atmosphere is relaxed.

The Boston Red Sox have just announced that the name for their new spring training stadium to open next year will be Jet Blue. For me it is much too close to the blasphemous Jet Green.

The Answer:
1. You aren't learning anything new. 2. You never (Rarely) have a day when you wake up excited to go to work. 3. You spend the majority of the time web surfing. 4. You don't like your co-workers. 5. Too little money to pay bills. 6. You spend time looking for other jobs. 7. You haven't had a raise in two years. 8. The boss sucks. 9. The company isn't doing well. 10. You are always stressed.
I would add that you hate the politics, you're stuck in a quagmire and the job doesn't allow you to maximize your personal strengths.

The End:
Jan Brewer for President.

I still can't figure out why I picked the name Audrey for my newest character in Almost Near.

This just in: The entire Congress has voted to resign on mass and leave the deficit problem to successor solons named by Governors.

Not quite War.

Today's Tids Issue # 2.329

Opening Stuff:

A brilliant Ivy League bound student, Rachel Hachero, pistol whipped her mom and dragged her to a Nissan car dealer to co-sign for a car she couldn't afford. She should do well on Wall Street after graduation.

NBC's "The Event" is beginning to live up to some of the promises.

How long before John Calipari leaves Kentucky just ahead of the NCAA sheriff?

Daily Question:
Knowing that Book Clubbers can be embarrassed or praised based on their reccomendation for the monthly book, NPR has come up with a list of five winners. What do you think they are?

The Headlines:

--Consumer Confidence Index Falls On Anxiety Over Increasing Gas Prices.
--Libyan Rebels Pushed Back from Daffy Home Town.
--Japan On Maximum Nuke Alert.
--Israel Would Annex West Bank If Palestinians Request State Recognition; Move Would Effectively End Peace Prospects.
--Court Hearing Today Will Decide Elements Of Wisconsin Union Bill.

Back to More Stuff:
I thought the Prez speech was well delivered and certainly innocuous enough not to hurt him in the polls. In fact, it may give him a boost. It was just 2 to 3 times longer than needed to say what he said.

Oh yeah, and "...Turning it over to NATO" doesn't mean US troops won't be involved.

We could call this the "Innuendo" War. Decisions seem to be based on little definitions designed to escape the inevitable and the reality of the conflict. Like for instance, when does a citizen in danger become a rebel member of an attacking force?

But let's face it, the reason many of these uprisings are working is because Bush stirred up and gave courage to the Middle East populace by bringing down in a humiliating manner a dictator and tyrant in Iraq.

The computer expert with the difficult commute had a hard drive.

I see that HBO is doing a movie on Sarah Palin and McCain. We know it will probably be a major hatchet job, but what I can't understand is Julianne Moore playing Sarah. The redhead with the soft, almost regal features does appear to have the earthy dynamics of Palin.

A lot of coroprate eyes will be riveted to the Supreme Court case involving a potentially huge class action sexual harrassment suit against Wal-Mart. A decision in favor of the plaintiff could begin a class action move of up to 1.5 Million plaintiffs and the continuation of suits already brought against Goldman and Bayer. And of course many more to come. US companies may move all corporate headquarters to Iceland.

Every day you can find an article or hear a news cast with hints on how to live longer. I think not listening to political discussions would be a good one.

When you tune into the new Dana Delany TV show "Body of Proof" set in Philadelphia, you'll be looking at Providence RI. Yup, the show was shot in Prov, but I guess they thought Philly had a better image for the show. Go figure.

The Answer:
NPR commentator Lynn Neary has been embarrassed herself, so she put together this list of good discussion books that are enjoyable to read: Parrot and Oliver in America - Peter Cary; Wench - Dolan Perkins Valdez; Faithful Place - Tanya French; The Imperfectionists - Tom Rachman; Sunset Park - Paul Auster.

Good New Finish Department:

South Carolina Legislators are about to pass the "Incandescent Bulb Freedom Act". This in response to anger against the feds telling them how to light their closets and reading lamps. Good for them!

"Almost Near" will return in all of its glory tomorrow.

Read all about it!

Today's Tids Issue # 2,328

Opening Stuff:

One of the the great treats during this time of year is that you can always catch a good "Messiah" somewhere.

It's nice that a golf tournament is on TV opposite the NCAA playoffs. When my heart gets beating out of control, I can turn to the golf to slow it down. Better than blood pressure medicine.

One of my pet concerns in our increasingly messy world is the decline of newspapers, a most comfortable way to be informed. Alas, I think it is essentially doomed. Consider that even though people's time spent with news is at an all-time high, allegiance to traditional sources is tumbling fast. And believe it, that includes relative newcomer Cable TV News which has had the biggest audience tumble of all. From the Pew analysis of 2009-2010 (The very latest data), the on-line news went up 17.1%. All of the rest fell -- Local TV (-1.5%), Network TV (-3.4), Newspapers (-5), Audio (-6), Magazines (-8.9) and Cable TV (-13.7%)! Surprised? The crunch for newspapers though is on the ad revenue side. Local TV went up 17% followed by Online (13.9), Cable TV (8.4), Network TV (6.6), audio (6) and Magazines 1.4). Only newspapers went down and that was a fairly high 6.3%. That is the death knell. Hear the bell ring.

I could write an entire Tids on this, but I know you'd rather see a good, bad pun. "During the Invasion of Sicily during WWII General Patton was preparing to take the city of Palermo. His meteorologists told him his selected day would be incredibly rainy. He immediately ordered that the N.Y. Times be brought in and placed under tailgates of the transports bringing in the men to keep feet dry. His staff was mystified why the Times over the Daily News. But they brought in 5 tons of the paper as requested. It was then that Patton issued his famous quote: "These are the 'times' that dry men's soles."

Are my "Beloveds" in danger of becoming the "Despicables"? Maybe, if others think about the Red Sox like Baltimore manager Buck Showwalter. "I'd like to see how smart Theo Epstein is with the Tampa Bay payroll." He went on, "...That's why I like whipping their butt. It's great, knowing those guys with a $205 Million payroll are saying, 'How are they beating us?'." Do others in the AL feel the same? Will the Sox be in the cross-hairs of the other managers too?" Sorry Gabby.

Let's hear it for Red Sox Japanese pitcher Diasuke (DiceK) Matsuzaka who just donated $1,000,000 to the Japan relief fund.

The Question:
Name the ten colleges with the highest endowments. Which university endowment portfolio made the biggest gain in 2010?

The Headlines:

--Market Futures Up On Strong Showings Last Week; Could Be Tempered By Japan, Libya Issues.
--Libyan Rebs Close In On Daffy Stronghold.
--Blasts Rock Yemen Faactory Overtaken By Militants.
--Budget Battle Heats Up As Congress returns.
--Radiation In Japan Seawater May be Spreading.
--No Cola For SS Predicted Again For 2011.
--Pediatricians Worried That FaceBook May be Adding To Kids Low Self Esteem, Depression.

Back to More Stuff:
The more the dangerous debt problem of the US is politicized, the less the people will take it seriously. And the more they will resist solving it. Of course the politicization takes place on all ends of the debate. The arts groups who depend on grants and the manufcaturing industries who depend on defense contracts and other big government stimualtion. The "Aha Moment" came when WWII defeated the great depression.Tthe rallying cry thereafter for recessions was "All we need is a good war." Now we have social wars, cultural wars, financial wars and of course old fashioned bloody wars all demanding an influx of government (Read that taxpayer) cash. So basically the answer to the Debt/Deficit problem is peace!. Understanding among all factions that we just can't create economies any more, because there is no economy left. That if you have something to sell, whether a product or personal knowledge, you are going to have to to do it yourself. And the society at large will recognize its needs.

The ten most important words in the English language are "If it is to be, it is up to me." How simple is that?

Out in the middle of the almost Everglades country are a couple of small towns about 25 miles east of the well-to-do Naples Florida. One is makeshift and the home of seminole indians and migrant workers. The other is a Catholic town with a university, spiffy Main Street, Academy and neat neighborhoods just built by Domino Pizza billionaire Tom Monahan. One skyline is dominated by a giant casino. The other by huge cathedral like church. A tale of two Americas in the middle of nowhere.

It didn't take long for my brackets to crumble like "Galloping Gertie". After Friday I had but Kansas, Florida and UConn left in the eight. But I was long gone well before that. And this morning after yesterday I have but UConn of my original Florida, Ohio State, Notre Dame and UConn. Hope you all did better.

I was out at the paper machine yesterday morn getting my Sunday paper only to find a moderately attractive blond putting in quarters. She looked up as I approached and said, "Would you like a freebie?" I stood silent for a moment. "Oh...you mean paper? I would never do that. You know the paper's are on their last legs..." I started my harangue on the plight of the news papers. She rolled her eyes, took her paper and left as fast as she could. I guess that's too deep for the morn.

Almost Near: Chapter 13 continues. --Tucker plunked the bag on Audrey's desk which startled her out of her editing process. She was ready to blast the intruder, but smiled when she saw Tucker standing there with a stupid grin on his face. "Oh, hi!" She got up and stole a chair from her neighbor and pulled over to Tucker.
"You look industrious this morning," he started. "Hope I didn't break into a key train of thought." She made a motion to minimize the seriousness of her activity. "So what do you have."
"Show me what's in the bag and I'll tell you whether it's worth the information I have." She laughed. "Tell me about why you are here asking about this case?"
"I think I met Mrs. Quimpierre up in new England where I live. It's a long story. Let's eat." Audrey was opening the sandwich. She looked at and smiled telling him it was her favorite because had no veggies.
Tucker detailed in short form the story of Samantha, from his teens to present. Audrey watched him intently. "So this is a mission of intense love," She said looking at him in the eyes. Tucker reddened. He didn't know what to feel before this attractive, intelligent woman. "I like an incurable romantic who will go to the ends of the earth for the woman of his hopes and dreams." She said smiling warmly. Tucker relaxed.

You have to believe that people on our Western and Northwestern coasts are thinking about the possibility of tsunamis. That unyielding wave traveling at jet speed is one ugly, terrifying beast.

With all of the world news dominating, the unemployment reports are sneaking through without much comment. The worst four states are Nevada (13.6%), Cal (12.2), Florida (11.5) and Little Ole' RI (11.2). And RI isn't going to get better until they decide to get smarter about business. I just heard of yet another small RI owned company (one that had just built a brand new factory about a couple of years ago and started hiring for well paying jobs) is packing up to move to Massachusetts. The reason: You guessed it. A tax advantage and economic package too good to resist.

I think those flat brimmed, high crown hats on golfer's look a little too foppish for an athlete. In fact, Ricky Fowler looks like a Broadway chorus groupie. And to those who say, "It is the modern way to look", I say Nehru Jackets!

The Answer:
Harvard is a small country with a $27 Billion endowment followed by Yale at $16 Bil. The three other double digit endowments belong to Princeton, Texas and Stanford. The rest are MIT, Michigan, Columbia and Northwestern. The Texas endowment had the highest percentage growth during the past year.

The End:
In case you weren't aware, Galloping Gertie was the infamous Tacoma Narrows Bridge that failed due to aeroelastic flutter, a resonance caused by a 42mph wind that cause the suspension bridge to start dancing until it pulled it self apart and fell into the Puget Sound. The films of the collapse have been used in every civill engineering school and the study of that collapse in 1940 led to batter structures today. At the time it was the 3rd longest suspension bridge after the Golden Gate and the George Washington Bridge.

You can get the entire State of the News story at: http://stateofthemedia.org/2011/overview-2/key-findings/

The Government of Syria is killing its protesting citizens. Why isn't the UN moving there?

Anybody who picked all #1 seeds in this new era of super star early departure just doesn't get it. Hey...wait a minute...the Prez picked all number ones!

Looking for good news.

Today's Tids Issue #2,326
Opening Stuff:

Actually I'm looking for news beyond Japan, Libya and Elizabeth Taylor. Something must be happening. right? The world is still spinning, isn't it.

Get ready. There's only 7 more Red Sox Grapefruit League games. The next segment is beginning to look it may be snowball league games. Just what we need when all of those tender hamstrings move north. JD Drew will be out for a month. Crawford will be shivering. Gonzales, Padroia, Youklis and Elsbury bone repairs will be aching and the "team to beat" will open miserably. I'm just trying to condition myself for the possibility of this near perfect team being out of the race by August just like in the good old days. It's in the "Nation's" DNA.

Hey, sorry I fell into my Red Sox melancholy mode. The coming of the baseball season is a good thing. The start of the real baseball season signals just 2 and 1/2 more months of basketball and hockey.

If Obama is reelected in 2012, he will open the socialism floodgates. Buyer beware.

The Question:
Ok... Quick! How many husbands did Elizabeth Taylor have? Name them in order.

The Headlines:

--Durable Goods And Jobs Reports Have Wall Street Paring Futures Gains.
--Libya Civil War Enters Gray Area.
--Japan Issues New Alerts On Radiation.
--Unemployment Apps Drop Slightly.
--Hispanics Account For Half Of US Population Growth; Group Now At 50 Million; Center Of US Population About To Leave Midwest.
--FaceBook Kicks Off 20,000 Underage Users Per Day (13 and up is ligit).
--NATO Bombs Kill Two Civilians.
--New Home Sales Lowest In Past Half Century.

Back to More Stuff:
American Idol had a bunch of singers improving which makes it tough to pick a bottom three. I thought Haley did well what Haley is good at doing. Hopefully she will escape the bottom three. Probably safe are James, Casey, Lauren, Pia, Stefano and Jacob. I'm not sure the usually reliable Scotty did himself proud. Paul did better but he irritates a lot of people. Niamo wasn't as great as the judges thought. Thia will get points for stepping out from ballads. I do have to say a few thngs about early favorite Pia. She is starting to sound the same to me and may be the least flexible of them all. The bottom three...this is tough. I'm going Scotty, Naimo and unfortunately Haley.

One major voting site after last night has viewers voting Scotty #1 with 19%. Next are James (17), Jacob (12), Pia (11), Thia (10). Then at 5% we have Casey, Lauren, Naimo, and Paul. Two at 4% are Haley and Stefano.

You can count on the Pols courting (Maybe over-courting) the rapidly growing Hispanic bloc now at 50 Million people. The questions is are they going to bind them to the Government by giving them freebies (We can't afford) or are they going to treat them as honest hard working people who will grow taking advantage of the opportunities innately available under the U.S. of A. system?

You know that the prepubescent mind of crass comedian Bill Maher has gone too low when even NOW can't stay mum and steps forward to protect a conservative woman. Maher called Sarah Palin a dumb tw*t, and you have to wonder how many are swayed against the former VP candidate by repeated unfounded slurs. I used to think Maher was moderately funny, but he has become just another a**hole with a mike. I'll probably get in trouble with NOC for that.

When she saw gray hairs she thought she'd dye.

Liz was a great looking younger actress, but the overly made-up personality of the past 20 years was really, really hard to look at...and probably never should have been allowed out in public.

As a dyed in the wool North-easterner, I really happy that the center of the US population is moving west. It was getting too crowded around here.

Almost Near: Chapter 13 continues. The fortyish near fifty Mae Johnson looked like what female real Estate agents look like. Well coiffed and red lips that were always smiling even when her eyes weren't. She automatically shook Samantha's hand and kissed Dante on the cheek. "Well Smantha, I don't believe I ever knew you as a child. But I did know your dad from his insurance business in town. He always seemed like a really nice guy, but then of course you knew that. Frankly, I was surprised when he called me because I didn't think would ever leave that adorable home.
Why don't I have these wonderful memories of a wonderful dad, Samantha thought. "Mae, I'm just looking for clues about my parents (She thought of the news item about her mom's suicide). I left home abruptly and was in contact, but when they moved I lost them. Frankly I'm confused." She couldn't be more honest about that.
Dante remained silent and thoughtful as Mae talked. All I know is this. Your dad called from a small town in Pennsylvania (Dalesford, thought Samantha). I remember the call because he sounded so unlike what I remembered about him. After some discussion about the house, he went on to offer that he had an opportunity in business he couldn't pass up. Frankly, I remember thinking that was odd, since he was so well regarded here. That's all I know. Let's eat!"
The waiter appeared as my mind tried to pry open that past.

There has to be more to life than shopping and staring at sunsets.

The Answer: 
The fading goddess had 8 husbands in her better years. At 18 she married the drunk Nicky Hilton of hotel fame. Her next was to Michael Wilding which imploded when she met Mike Todd. After Todd's unfortunate death, she then snagged Eddie fisher from the adorable little Debbie Reynolds. It didn't take long for her to dump the crooner for Richard Burton. She divorced Burton but remarried him again in 1975. Senator John Warner was next and then finally construction worker Larry Fortensky, who actually couldn't put Elizabeth back together again.

The End:
Obama is lying so low that it is hard to get a handle on what he really doing. BTW, how big a photo-op flop was that trip to South America. Nobody cared.

No GOP candidate this year?

Today's Tids Issue # 2,324
Openign Stuff:


I'm beginning to think that the Republicans will be unable to field a candidate with any hope for victory at all. There has been a spate of articles all dwelling on the political liabilities of any potential candidate. The wives of Newt. The flips of Mitt. The antics of Sarah. The gaffs of Huck. No matter who, there's always something. That is, if you read all of the political opinion columns being floated about these days. Under the guise of being impartial, they iterate each of the candidates negatives, over and over again (Until it finally becomes reiterate). Which would have as the result effectiverly preempting the ability of many good people to shine without costly and time consuming make-overs. The articles also try to factionalize the candidates against competing groups within the GOP. And it all looks messy.

Does the future prospects of a "World Community" mean that leaders of countries will meet at the UN to decide the course of people in the name of humanitarianism and effectively bypass the Congress and will of the people of individual nations. Some globalists want it that way. Big Government at its uncontrollable biggest.

Is there anything funny happening in the world any more?

The Question:
Name ten common plants that you didn't know were toxic.

The Headlines:
--Libya Rebels Regroup As Daffy Forces Bombarded; US Jet Crashes.
--Geopolitics Have Wall Street Opening Flat.
--Portugal Gears Up For Political Collapse As Debt Worries Rise.
--Progress Made In Bringing Power To Nuke Plants.
--Yemen Head Says He Will Step Down At End Of Year; Could Be Problem For US.
--Uprisings In Syria And Bahrain get Bloodier.
--Japan Quake Forces Auto Parts Production Shutdowns.

Back to More Stuff:
The normally crisp Tids Sports Department totally missed the big story when it reported on the wrestling championships yesterday. It failed to mention Anthony Robles, who won the 125 pound class and was was voted the Outstanding Wrestler in the tournament. This honor is always a tremendous achievemnet in this hard fought highly competitive tournament of talented athletes. Anthony was born to a 16 year old mother in California...with one leg! It never set him back a moment. Always positive. He started winning at an early age. And, in the championships he had to wrestle at higher weight level. The officials included the estimated weight of of a second leg to determine his weight class. It never phased him.

The Big East is the Big Bust in this NCAA tourney.

Japan and Libya taking the eyes off the ball Department:
The Dallas Fed head Richard Fisher has urged the US Central Bank to refrain from any further stimulus measures. He says the U.S. debt situation is at a "Tipping point". "If we continue down the path on which the fiscal authorities put us, we will become insolvent. The question is when". Yes, in addition to solving the world's problems we still have an economy in ICU. Feeling better?

There's been a raft of Baseball players axed this spring where the teams owe big bucks on contracts. 10's of millions of dollars this year will paid out for nothing. Maybe they should look to Russia, where when a player refuses to to step aside and walk away from contract with no payout, goons are sent to pummel him. The offer is simple. "Stop demanding a payout of you remaining contract, or you will never play soccer again." Easy. I guess it's a cultural thing.

I haven't had good napoleon in quite a while.

Almost Near: Chapter 13 continues. --Dante's assistant smiled and told Samantha that Mr. Wallowitz would be with her in a moment. Samantha had just turned to sit when the officce door burst open and a smiling well dressed lawyerly looking man walked in hand extended. She assumed this was the former High school heartthrob Dante. She immediately offered her hand saying "Wow, Dante you grew up beautifully." She was now becoming a master of her new charade.
 "I was just going ot say the same about you!" All smiles he stepped back to admire this woman who he barely knew as a teen. "You grew up well," he said with a flirting eye.
Samantha feigned a blush and played the shy girl role as Dante guided her into the office. The assistant was rolling her eyes.
"Nice office, Dante," Samantha started. She has learned how to control the conversation in all of these new situations where she was supposed to know more than she did. "Martha Worthington and I often talked about the gorgeous senior named Dante."
"Well you can be sure my pals and I scoped out the incoming freshman girls. But that's irrelevant now , isn't it?" He paused and looked at Samantha. "We're both nicely matured adults now, aren't we."
Samantha smiled pleasantly, "Yes we are. But, I'm hear to find out something about my parents. It seems as though you were the last to be in contact with them."
"KNowing you were coming I went into my files for that house closing. I didn't find much. I remember that your parents moved out several months before the house was sold. Mae Johnson of Ruggles and Mayer was the Realtor. She contacted me, so she might have more information. I talked to your father once about some details. He gave me bank transfer information and not much more. Oh and a phone number 610 555 7356. Which is for a town of Dalesford outside of Philadelphia. I tried to call it before you came, but it had been discontinued."

Have you ever seen a headline: "Psychic wins Lottery."?

The problem with the GOP candidates isn't just in the bias of the main stream media. It is also in the rants of the various talk shows who pit the moderates against the conservatives against very conservative. Here the candidates become so marginalized by the demands of the different factions that none could even get nominated. At least that is the way it appears to me. While all of the repubs want 0-Man out, the moderates wnat one thing versus the Tea Party versus the old time Republicans versus the more religious groups. If you remember back it was the persecution by Rush Limbaugh that effectively killed George HW Bush and gave us Clinton. Keep a cool head or die.

Now, without the benefit Of Air Force 3 at her disposal, Nancy Pelosi is expected to take advantage of the new Southwest Airlines "Bags Fly Free" policy.

The Answer:
It begins with Christmas and #10 the poinsetta. The rest are English Ivy, Easter Lily (Especially poisonous to cats), Larkspur, Aloe Vera, Azalea, Dumb Cane, Oleander, Fox Glove and the most poisonous common plant is the Datura Stramonium. This is a member of the nightshade family and has been known as the Devils Trumpet, Thornapple, Jimsonweed and Moonflower among others. It is very toxic and emits a pungent odor when disturbed. Sounds like some loners I know.

The End:
As this Tidster takes leave
Retain your belief
The 2012 election
Will end all our grief.

Stop all your remorse
And cease that wailin'
Cause on January 13
You"ll meet President Palin.

Eat at home.

Today's Tids Issue # 2,323
Opening Stuff:

Did you feel something special Yesterday? Did your heart fly to the moon. Did you walk on clouds? Did you drive out to the countryside for an ice cream cone? It was the first day of spring! The day ground rumbles from the energy of flowers ready to burst forth. The day the sun's warmth caresses your body a little differently than the week before. The day you slog through the mud from thawing fields. Happy Spring everybody.

Some of the best chefs I have ever encountered are people like you and me who are very adept at cooking great food in their own kitchens.

The Question:
What iconic Pennsylvania Company is poised to produce it's 500 Millionth product this year. (Hint product used for habit now in disfavor.)

The Headlines:

--Daffy Vows Long War; US Says Libya Forces In Disarray After Bombings.
--Stocks Expected To Show Healthy Rise; News Of AT&T Purchase Of T-Mobile Leads Positive News.
--Buffett Says Japan Tragedy Presents Solid Buying Opportunity; Good Companies Siffering Temporary Downturn Will Rebound Soundly.
--New Smoke From Japan Reactors Have Workers fleeing.
--Tanks Deployed In Yemen Capitol.
--Russia's Putin Says UN Action In Libya "Reminds Him Of Crusades".

Back to More Stuff:
It seems to me, if I remember correctly, that the substantive reason used by the US when finally attacking Iraq was because the outrageous dictator there snubbed the UN warnings. The WMD's were the fodder of late night comics, but the arrogance of the tyrant ignoring UN ultimatums was the legal reason, as it is today in Libya. The political powers are dolefully and sanctimoniously proclaiming that attacks on Libya are humanitarian. But, where were they during the slaughter in Darfur, or for that matter the carnage in China?

Where is it written that my obligation in life was to support over priced restaurants.

"What a Crock" Department:
I see where they are selling out the Charlie Sheen traveling medicine show. But, nobody knows what he is going to do. Will he go into a coma as fans blindly roar in approval? Will he trash the stage injuring some first row fanatics? Will we see EMC's rush on stage and perform lifesaving resuscitation?
Americans love to be taken.

Is it me, or do others think it's too much of "All Oprah all the time". And, when will it ever stop.

Almost There: Chapter 13. --"Dante Wallowitz?"
"Yes. Who is this?"
"Oh, Dante, you probably don't remember me.. I'm Samantha Wilcox!" Samantha listened to silence on the other side of the line.
After a nervous 2 or 3 seconds "Of course I do. Wow...Samantha. It's been, what fourteen, fifteen years.?"
"About fifteen. Well Dante, you have certainly done well for yourself. A lawyer!
"It's noce you think it's an honorable profession." Dante laughed putting Samantha at ease. "What brings you to town."
Samantha's initial reaction was to say "I don't know." But she answered, "I wanted to talk to you about my parents. Martha told me you handled their house closing."
"Yes I did. But, it was along time ago.."
Samantha interrupted before he could formulate an excuse. "How about it I come over in about a half hour. Are you busy?"
"I'm always busy or else how could I charge clients. But I have few free minutes left. I would love to see you." But don't count on learning much."
"You'd be surprised about how little can be a lot." Dante laughed as they hung up.

In case you were wondering, the Top Ten teams in the just completed NCAA Wrestling Championships are Penn State, Cornell, Iowa, Oklahoma State, American U, Arizona State, Minnesota, Lehigh, Boise State and Wisconsin.

Obama seems to be pretty good at playing the "rope-a-dope" game. He's not doing much, issuing a little boiler plate here and there in response to national and global emergencies. A master politician through and through. And, there isn't anything much lower than a politician.

NPR reporters are saying the real reason that NPR is sinking is because their management sucks and has no clue about how to survive. They are probably operating their company in that entitlement twilight zone.

The Answer:
Zippo is the product! For eighty years smokers relied on this flip top device, and even today the brand is considered ultra-cool. The company will produce about 12 million lighters this year but the future will rely on the successful application of their famous name to a variety of products like leisure clothing, watches and cologne. I'll believe it when I see it.

The End:
Actually I'm thinking Zippo Cologne Odeur de Fumee; Clothing reeking of stale cigarette; Watches showing years lost from smoking.

The fog continues:

Today's Tids Issue #2,322
Opening Stuff:

I can't get the green out of my system after yesterday. Oh, wait a minute, there it goes now.

I got an email from Aunt Carries this morning. That's a shore side restaurant that's only open in the Summer, serving up fresh and tasty native seafood, and now good ice cream. It's one of the signals of change, like crocuses, the crack of bats and the lines at the Hilltop creamery.

The Question:
Name five things that baristas (Clerks in coffee shoppes) won't tell you

The Headlines:
--Oil Prices Drop After Daffy declares Cease Fire.
--Japanese Government Says It Was Overwhelmed By the Extent Of Disaster.
--Wall Street Bouncing Back; Fed Joins G7 In Yen Intervention.
--Japan Considering Burying Reactors.
--4 NY Times Journalists Found Safe In Libya; Had Been Held By Daffy Forces.
--"Supermoon" To Dazzle Romantics On Saturday; Tides Should be Higher.
--Chunk Of Cal's Coastal Highway Falls Into The Pacific.
--NASA First: Spacecraft Now Orbiting Mercury.

Back to more Stuff:
Reader Opinions of Repub Possibilities For 2012 Department:
I gained a sense from the smartest group of readers on the planet that election is still up for grabs. Interestingly Romney never made first place but was consistently a strong second. And similarly Huckabee in third. Huckabee connotes images of Huckleberry Finn and huckster. Romney is weighed down by some decisions while Governor. (It's like if we can't come up with something better I guess I could go there.) There is little question that in their hearts a large group would like to see Christie of NJ announce. (One woman said he would be number one if he lost 40 pounds). The inexperienced Mark Rubio is also highly regarded. Trump got a couple of solid "Ayes" but also some fierce negative comments. The best known names were considered retreads while the others with less name recognition were considered boring and unelectable. Well regarded Ron Paul also made the unelectable column. Palin rose to the top of a couple of lists, and did not receive ant strong negatives. I'd like to keep tabs on this, so keep sending in your opinions. The best I can say after this first effort is that it is still anybody's game. And that may not be good enough when there is sitting Prez a runnin'. There' no one in sight who really ignites.

One responder to the above tossed out these five Prez-Veep combos: Keyes-Condy Rice, Perot-Michelle Malkin, Coach K-Laura Ingraham, Anne Coulter-Ron Paul and Sarah Palin-Joe Miller. It is...anybody's game.

American Idol: I was sorry to see Karen bounced last night. I liked her. She seems like a nice person with decent talent. I can see this final seven coming down to five men and Pia and Lauren. Although I'm not sure that Lusk won't get tiresome along the way. Pia could wear thin too. I believe that Haley and Lauren are the two moist talented women. Although I sense a bit of un-likability in Haley, which may be the reason the has been in the bottom 3 the first two weeks.

I heard a well known physicist speaking yesterday about the big bang theory and how he and his crowd explain away what's on the other side of the end of the universe. He said that he and his pals are starting to believe that it is a different set of laws of physics! Anything not to admit the possibility of God.

Everything is Relative Department:
Remember in the Carter years when inflation pushed upwards of 13%. It is significantly lower today, but the pain may be as great or greater.The reason -- Income is lower and the hope for achieving higher incomes is diminished. Even SS recipients have gone two years with no Cola. Just be wary of reports that measure eras against eras. It really is changing in this US of A.

Almost Near: Chapter 12 continues. --A woman peeked in on Tucker just as he was reading something that looked useful "We close here in 15 minutes." she said. Tucker rubbed his eyes. Wow! five hours already.
He continued reading. "Samantha Wilcox, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Harold J. Wilcox of New Castle New Hampshire was married to Rudy Quimpier son of Florence Quimpier of Houma Louisiana and Ronald Quimpier of Jackson Mississippi."
Quimpier. That's as good a lead as he could find, unless there's another Samantha Wilcox form New Castle.
He printed out the page and placed on a pile of some other pages he had printed. He shoved it all into his computer case and waked out to get his luggage at the receptionist. On the way he saw a reporter or columnist typing away for tomorrow's morning edition. "Hi I'm Tucker Loutitte." She didn't look up. He started to walk away, and heard "Sorry, I had it going and had to keep the feeling moving til the end." He smiled knowing totally what she was saying.
"I'm Tuck..."
"I heard you the first time. I'm Audrey Johnson."
"Well Audrey, I didn't mean to interrupt you." he explained quickly why he was there and asked if she had ever heard of anybody named Quimpier. He figured that if this trauma that Sam is facing was that deep that maybe something happened that went public.
"Rudy or Samantha Quimpier?" She wrinkled her brow and was cute doing so. "You know, there is something in the back of my mind telling me those names are meaningful. Let me check around. Are you staying in town?"
"I'll be at the Courtyard on President Clinton Avenue. Wow, his PR people really got that named fast." She smiled. "I don't know how long I'll be here. But appreciate the help."
She stood and shook my hand. She was a pleasant looking woman. Actually quite pretty, Tucker thought.

Reading between the Lines Movie Reviews:
--Good Cast in Lincoln Lawyer a tale about a defense lawyer who works out of the back of his Lincoln handling the cases of a variety of creeps. That is until he lands a defendant, a Beverly Hills playboy accused of rape and attempted murder. But there is a lot more to this story that becomes nightmare for the lawyer. I'll go.
--Limitless is another nightmare for our hero, this time a writer with block who takes new drug that is supposed to unlock his mind. Now he sis able to recall anythign he ahs eve read, learn any language and comprehend complex equations. He becomes the darling of Wall Street but also the target of many who want to get there hands on this mystery drug. Could be good.

The Answer:
Number 1, they won't tell you that drinking 2 shot vanilla22 oz lattes ais very bad for you. And, sometimes owners of small indy's substitute cheaper coffees; Believe me when I tell you I gave you decaf; When you aren't in Starbucks don't order like you are; Most of the time the line is long is because customers talk to much or only read menu when they are at the counter; Why don't people say please more often; Vegan cakes aren't any better for you than regular cakes; Yes, I went to school to become a barista; Just because the coffee is overpriced, it doesn't mean you shouldn't tip me.

The End:
See you next week. I'll spend the weekend hunting for great fodder.

Green that mean's something.

Today's Tids Issue #2,322

Opening Stuff:

May you have no frost on your spuds,
No worms in your cabbage.
May your goat give plenty of milk.
If you inherit a donkey, may she be in foal.
Don't walk in front of me I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me I may not lead.
Walk beside me and just be my friend.
--Irish Saying.

Did you know that 56% of the people have 3 or more email addresses. And...that only 5% have just one! How amazing is that? Feel out of it?

!!!! I am getting some good returns on yesterday's queery about sorting out the Repub race. I'll give a full report tomorrow. If you haven't already, send in your three favorites for the Republican President nomination. I can tell you now that it is very varied.

The Question:
It is pretty much accepted that women love shoes. How many pairs on average do womewn own. Wat are the favorite heel heights?

The Headlines:

--Futures Indicate rebound For US Stocks.
--Japan Desperately Trying To cool Reactors; Power Could return To Run Cooling System.
--Daffy Taking Charge.
--Malaysia Gaga Gaga Gay Lyrics.
--Shiite Versus Regal Sunni Powder Keg In Middle East.
--Conservative Repubs Want Short term B udget Fixes To Stop.

How bad would be for the country if this effort to disbar Supreme Court Justice Thomas succeeds? I shudder to think.

It looks like the Wisconsin teachers have stooped to using the children now. Nice.

O'Bama says he is Irish.

If you ever see me wearing those white orthopedic shoes, pull the plug.

American Idol had a good night last night, but I wasn't blown away. Te hardest jobs is picking the bottom three. We know that its generally as much about demographics as it is performance. This kid Scotty is a very polished country western singer. Langone is generally good as is Casey. Lauren and Pia seem to be the top girls. I tink Haley is very good, but she may blow it before she shines. And Niamo is better than she was last nigt. The judges like Paul, but I'm not getting hit. His little dancesza re becoming more of a distraction than an addtion. Bottom three: Paul, Niamo and Thia

Isn't anything private any more? I was sitting on the beach a day or so ago when a young, attractive couple, maybe in their thirties, walked by talking at a very high level. Well, she was talking and everybody on the beach was listening. It sounded like it was about the end of a relationship with lots of phrases similar to "You don't seem to get it.". About twenty minutes later they walked up the other way with the woman still talking and the man coolly plodding along. As he approached I heard him say, "Well I guess it just doesn't look like it is going to work." There whole life unraveling in earshot of anybody on the beach. it must be a FaceBook thing.

This love affair with the exploits of Charlie Sheen is all about watching car wrecks. Another American pastime.

They say that up in Connecticut they are having a lot of trouble picking a jury to try the second savage in the brutal murder of that Cheshire Mother and two daughters. Too many of the prospects think he is guilty. Well duh!

You have got to laugh at the irony of NY Rep Paul Weiner (Pronounced weener) leading the charge to disbar Clarence "Long Dong Silver"* Thomas. *Part of the Anita Hill testimony.

The Answer:
Woman on average own 17 pairs. 39% prefer flats. 26% like low --1/2 t0 1 inch. Medium heels (! 1/2 to 2 1/2) are the favorites of 20% only 8% go for high heels 2 1/2 and over. Many of those are strippers.

The Emerald Isle:

Of all the money that ere I had, I spent it in good company.
And of all the harm that ere I've done, alas was done to none but me.
And all I've done for want of wit, to memory now I cannot recall.
So fill me to the parting glass. Goodnight and joy be with you all.


Of all the comrades that ere I had, they're sorry for my going away,
And of all the sweethearts that ere I had , they wish me one more day to stay,
But since it falls unto my lot that I should rise while you should not,
I will gently rise and I'll softly call, "Goodnight and joy be with you all!"


Oh, if I had money enough to spend and leisure time to sit awhile
There is a fair maid in this town that sorely has my heart beguiled
Her rosey cheeks and ruby lips, she alone has my heart in thrall.
So fill me to the parting glass. Goodnight and joy be with you all.


---The Parting Glass From Waking Ned Divine.

The quiet achievers.

Today's Tids Issue 2,321

Opening Stuff:

Every day, somewhere across the great U.S. of A., a handicapped person is accomplishing something truly great. Even if it is incredibly small.

The Tids Community Is A helpful Community Department:
A good contributing reader says he feels that you, the community, "...are interested and informed." Especially when it comes to politics. Is there anything more confusing than the current Repub candidate posturing? I don't think so! help us sort it out. Rate and send in your top 3 possibilities (Or favorites) from the following list of GOP wannabees: Palin, Romney, Huckabee, Christie, Pawlenty, Paul, Thune, Petraeous, Giuliani, Gingrich, Jindal, Bush (Jeb), Barbour and Daniels. Any write-ins?

Why do? Department: Why do people keep all of their junk in the garage and their $40,000 car in the driveway? How come the sick have to walk to the back of the drug store for medications while smokers get their cigs next to the fron door?

The Question:
We haven't had a 2Q day in a long time. Let's go. 1. What do you think men and women wear to breakfast? 2. What mistakes do new, small businesses make most often?

The Headlines:

--Japan Nuke Situation Remains Precarious; Restarting Work In Disabled Plants.
--US Stocks Iffy Even As Nikkei Bounces Back Strongly.
--New Home Construction Plunges In Feb.
--Food Pushes Wholesale Prices Up 1.6%.
--Italy's Berlusconi Adopts "Too Old For So Much Sex" Defense.
--Supermarkets make More Dough When Green Shoppers bring their Own Bags.
--Bahrain Forces Force Out Protesters.
--Libya Military Retake Rebel Strongholds.
--Petraeus Ok's Troop Drawdown.

Back to More Stuff:

Numbers Department:
--Total US Newspaper ad revenue slipped once again, now down to $25 Billion. That is exactly the same number we saw for ad revenue in 1985 which, in today's numbers, translates to $49 Billion. Almost half! Now $25 Bil sounds like a lot of dough to me. But relevant it ain't. Papers will continue to get thinner and that $25 Bil will find its way into the Net or other alternatives. --The NCAA Playoffs add up to a big negative if you measure the $3.2 Billion lost in worker productivity and the $2.5 Billion waged in pretty much a hopeless adventure. Now the productivity numbers ad up to about 2 hours of relaxation per employee. Now if all the execs at a much greater hourly rate partake, which they probably do, then hours per employee lost is probably even lower.

When you get older, everything seems like yesterday.In fact I remember everything I have done in every decade of my life. Hmmm. Except yesterday. Does anybody know what I did yesterday?

A lot of these hurriedly put together teacher protests we are seeing these days display signs about many themes. Among the most prominent is the ludicrous "Save the middle class." In actuality the middle class is missing more and more today because the unions chased businesses, especially manufacturing, overseas.

I played golf with a woman the other day who said she could write a book about how annoying playing with women can be. Mark that.

I think we are going to see a lot of cooking stories about using middle east spices, like Egyptian. I guess the chefs of the world think it will help rally eaters in favor of the rebels.

Almost Near: Chapter 12 continues. --Tucker introduced himself and showed his press credentials to the receptionist. Tucker joked quickly about "good trees to bad newspapers", an old newspaper joke. She laughed, but it was obvious she didn't understand. She just laughed at anybody wearing a smile. It was her job, Tucker thought. "Can I leave my suitcase here for a couple of hours." She nodded and he followed her directions to the archives.
It was all tedious, grind it out investigation. As a good writer and reporter, he loved the task. Tucker knew three things. Samantha lived in Little Rock, she go married in Little Rock and her name was Samantha Wilcox when she moved there. He figured she moved to Arkansas sometime between August 1995 when she dumped Tucker and December 1996 when she finally wrote back saying she had been married. But, he assumed, that in an effort to compartmentalize her now two lives she never mentioned her married name. She was still Samantha Wilcox to me. Since she used Jergens when she was in Lobster Cove, that was a good place to start. Somehow, though, his instincts said that will be a dry well.

In this part of Florida, there is a Publix Supermarket on just about every corner. And it appears that everybody goes there. But yesterday, I went in to Sweetbay and found it visually much more lively with better prices. And more important, it is the only supermarket that carries biscuits in their bakery. Sweetbay is part of the excellent Hannaford chain which I enjoy when in Maine.

I think the world could get along with 50% fewer restaurants. In many cases they are more of a hassle than a treat, and they cost a helluva lot more than eating at home.

It would be interesting to see the media reaction if 0-Man decided to take out the Sadaam Hussein like Libyan leader to open the doors for the folks wallowing in the hinterlands.

The Answer:
1. 40% of men wear the day's clothes while 35% of the women wear pj's. 18% of men wear pjs while 27% of women wear clothes of the day. Whcih means that women look better in pjs. 2. The big one is underestimating monthly expenses (32%). next is hiring the wrong people (20%, not knowing how to sell (!) (18%) and not securing a large enough credit line.

The End:
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

I will pester you on the Candidate rating Q. And as a few of you know, I can be a pest.

Successful people who say they could never be a salesman are always selling.

All about nothing.

Today's Tids Issue 2,320
Opening Stuff:

Happy Ides of March everybody. Simply stated, in Roman times it was just a fancy way of saying March 15. Nothing more. Nothing less. Despite what Shakespeare may have inferred. Of course today in may mean, "I'm big government and I'ds be watchin' you."

Gambler's Anonymous Department:
Two guys who survived that horrendous NYC bus crash where 15 including their two best buddies were killed on the way home form a Connecticut casino, grabbed the next morning's bus back up north for another day of gambling. Gambling casinos, the salvation economy.

The Question:
The new slate of Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees are Neil Diamond, Alice Cooper, Tom Waits, Leon Russell, Dr. John and Darlene Love. Name two songs for each.

The Headlines:

--Red Sox Beat Ya - Ya - Ya...(WYKWIM)...2-1 In First 2011 Meeting.
--Hedge Funds Hammering Japan Stocks In Over Night Manipulations; US Stocks Expected To Tumble In Aftermath Of Nikkei Plunge.
--New Explosion Raises The Threat Of Nuclear Contamination; 140,000 Told To Seal Themselves Indoors.
--Japan Nuke Crisis Ignites Stock Sell-off.
--Record 157,000 Empty Nevada Homes Mar Neighborhoods Across State.
--Japan Earthquake Shifted Eastern Japan Thirteen Feet Closer To US, Sank The Coast by Two Feet, Shifted The Earth's Axis By 6.5 Inches And Shortened The Day By 1.6 Nanoseconds.

Back to More Stuff:
As the rest of the world continues to spin out of control, American Repubs seem to be liking Romney, Palin, Huckabee and Gingrich best. It seems to me that the up to 15 possible contenders are all waiting for the big funders to commit before hats start flying into the ring. The next couple of weeks should be interesting. Even if you are a Democrat.

Writing a novel is a little like being a jockey in a long horse race. You start by creating excitement that gets people wondering about the fate of their hero. Then you move through strategy part of the race offering little twists and turns, jockeying for positioning, setting the stage for the big finish. Providing small hints but leaving the end up in the air. Then the home stretch where you create a flurry of heart pounding excitement for a finale that may stun or leave readers angry. Or something like that.

When his girlfriend talking about a new business venture said "we can make-out like bandits", he showed up in a mask, hoody and kissed her in front of an ATM machine.

There is something that bothers me about the UN and the no fly zone idea. Clearly this a group overreaching it's charter, stepping inside another's sovereign state. No matter how despotic the tyrant may be.

The oddsmakers have as the favorites to win the NCAA's Ohio State 3-1, Kansas 9-2, Duke 5-1, Pitt 7-1, San Diego State 12-1, North Carolina 15-1 and Florida 18-1.

Almost Near: Chapter 12. --The Little Rock airport was comfortable after Tucker's confusing morning in Boston. It was a beautiful mid morning as he pulled his wheelie out it the taxi line. Witin a few secinds acab rolled up, the trunk popped, he through in his bag and jumped into the back seat. "Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, please".
"Yes suh." came the reply. "You a newspaper guy?"
Tucker didn't want to get into a conversation with the driver, but he seemed nicer than most back East. "I used to be a newspaper guy, but now I'm a writer doing some research for a book."
"Oh, what kind of book do you write? I love good mysteries."
"Oh," is smiled, "I only write bad mysteries, so you are out of luck." The driver roared and stuck his hand over the seat without taking his eyes off the road. "I'm Jimmy Buckworth". I shook his hand and he returned it to the wheel. "If you ever need any first hand info about this town, Jimmy B is yo man."
"My name is Tucker Loutitte, and I might just keep an eye out for you."
"Thanks! Tucker Loutitte? That's a right fancy name."
"I made it up so people would think I was smarter." Which is exactly the truth. Jimmy laughed again.
"Maybe you should write a comedy mystery." Tucker laughed in response. He knew that this was not going to have any humor in it at all.

I guess the big question in DC these days according to news reports isn't Libya, Japan, Afghanistan or even The Debt, but "How to fire up the Obama base". His big problem is that there is no more money left with which to bribe his electorate.

Remember Afghanistan where US soldiers are fighting and dying? The ADD Media is at it again.

The Answer:
Of Course Diamond is a prolific songwriter and singer with some of his favorites being "I am, I said", (Red Sox standard) Sweet Caroline, Kentucky Woman, and the often over looked Jonathon Livingston Seagull. Alice Cooper is known for hard rockers Eighteen, No More Mr. Nice Guy and Schools Out. Waits is another great song writer singer with some of best known being sung by Springsteen (Jersey girl), Ramones (I Don't Want to Grow Up), Rod Stewart (Downtown Train) and Johnny Cash (Down There by the Train).
he has won a best score Academy Award for "One from the heart". Russell is best know for Delta Lady and A Song for You. New Orleans' legend Dr. John is best known for "Right Place Wrong time". Darlene Love gave us "He's a Rebel" and Christmas (Baby Please Come Home).

The End...Thank God!
Some days this Tids mess ends and I look back and think, "What the hell was that all about?"

A "Green" Week that counts.

Today's Tids Issue #2,319

Opening Stuff:

Are you ready? Yup it is that time of year when you will be bombarded for the next five days or so of every corned beef recipe or variation known to man. Corned beef, the most overated food in the history of mankind. Do you know how hard it is to make Corned beef gravy?

I was watching the St. Pat's parade Saturday. After a nice start there was this 5-8 minute gap. People wondered if it was to be the shortest parade in history. But in the distance we saw a banner followed by a convertible, plodding forward. Inch by inch. Finally the car arrived and we saw which parade participant was holding up the show. The sign on the car said "Naples St. Patricks Day "Planning Committee"! Humorously, just behind the organizing group was a bunch of Knights of Columbus geezers imploring,"Step on the God damned gas. Move your ass." So much for a kinder and gentler America.

Flubber is my new nickname for Christine Bachman. Beauty queens should never be allowed to stray from the script.

For all of you "Almost Near" lovers who may have shut down their computers for the weekend, The Saturday "Mea Culpa" edition had the latest chapter in this terrifying saga of a woman who is losing her mind while finding she has several others she didn't know about.

The Question:
In "the things you know but don't know where they come from" department, name the songs written by Hugh Martin who died yesterday?

The Headlines:

--Millions In Japan Struggle With Quakes Aftermath; Tide Brings In Thousands of Bodies.
--Massive Sell-off Pulls $287 Billion Out Of Japanese Stock Market; US Futures Lower On Nervousness.
--Indian Navy Captures 61 Somalian Pirates.
--Buffet Squeezes Itchy Trigger Finger To Buy Lubrizol For $ Billion.
--Second Blast Rocks Stricken Japanese Nuke Plant; Engineers Say Radiation Levels Still Within Safety Margins.
--Passengers Contradict Bus Driver In Ghastly NYC Crash.
--Daffy Forces Retake Libyan Stronghold.

Back to More Stuff:
And...we could name Huckabee "Gaffer". The problem is, that unlike Bachman, the Huckster is a legitimate candidate whose comments recently eluded the facts. Personally I like Huckabee, an apparently honest man with a good moral basis who in fact was invariably the best of the lot in Republican debates. Unfortunately, unless you are a democrat, once you have transgressed into the gaff column, the media will never let you out -- regardless of whether or not it was a simple mistake.

The nuclear issues associated with the earthquake in Japan will sideline the comeback in confidence for the much needed, very efficient nuclear power genration for at least another ten years.

Heard recently at a meeting of Cultural Addictions Anonymous: "Hi, I'm The Media and I'm addicted to Charlie Sheen."

I liked Dilbert's comment on business illogical rational in yesterday's Funny Pages (As I used to call them), "Teamwork means you can't pick the side that is right."

Which brings me to a little item about college football expert, and former The Ohio State Buckeye, Kirk Herbstreit. Kirk just moved from Ohio to Tennessee because the Buckeye faithful "Don't want to hear anything negative about their teams." It was getting tough for Herb to continue living because telling the truth as all good commentators should do didn't sit well with some of the mental institution bound fans. Fans who want to be blinded with false hope. Sport is supposed to be a release from daily pressures. An outlet. Yet many have made it a religion. I guess this isn't surprising in Buckeye land, where they insist on using the precious "The" before the name Ohio State U. This is a story that can be told in colleges towns around the country.

This NFL mess is coming down to who can appear to be the most fan friendly, when neither side could care less.

I always get a kick out of people who say "But...I don't like the fishy taste." And, then stand for hours to get into restaurant's that serve the blandest of farm raised or former junk fish. All basically tasteless. It's like they've heard seafood is healthy and they look for the least objectionable way to take their medicine.

Almost Near: Chapter 11 Continues. --"I'm sure you know this," Martha started, "But, after you left I never really saw much of your parents. To be honest with you, as much as your father was always friendly towards me, your mother was equally as distant. She seemed sad. Then one day, a couple of years after I was married, a "For Sale" sign went up on your home. Of course I got very excited..."
Martha's new ramble started to drift into the background as Samantha tried to resurrect memories of these parents she didn't remember. But she recalled nothing. Though as Martha talked, she sensed something about her past. She emerged from her thoughts to hear the droning of Martha who was now talking about a funny incident at the closing. Samantha smiled at her as she heard, "I was hoping your parents would have been at the closing, but their lawyer representative said he didn't know where they were." He said they just sent him all of the information with no return address, but with a bank acocunt number for electronic depositing of the funds.
"Do you remember the name of the lawyer?"
"Why sure, it was Dante Wallowitz. Remember him! Mr. Cutie, senior when we were freshmen in High school!" Then Martha rolled her eyes like she would have as a teen when a boy walked by.

In a discussion about Obama under the headline, "On high profile issues, Obama keeps a low profile" it was noted, "...But the White House sees no upside in outspokeness." How about leadership?

The celebrity can always get a free cup of coffee, using his Star bucks.

Sports Shorts: --I can't get enough of those reports on the iditerod. --They have built a very good NBA team in Chicago. Rose is very talented and the supporting cast has great chemistry. Noah is much better than anticipated. Works hard. --The Big East with 11, will have to prove themselves or look really bad like the Big Ten has recently. Of course the Big Ten with 7 will have some proving to do too.

And now...the much anticipated "Tids Final Four"!: The OSU, UConn, Notre Dame, Florida. Final Two OSU-Fla.

The Answer:
Hugh Martin wrote some of the best songs I have heard, including several for Judy Garland in the Movie "Meet Me in Saint Louis." (Remember when people would want ot meet in St. Louis?) Some of his best are "The Trolly Song" (Clang Clang Clang goes the trolly; Thump, Thump Thump goes my heart.), "The Boy Next Door", "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas",and "Buckle Down Winsocki (Til this very moment, I always thought the song was "Buckle Down Woonsocket!). He also write the music and sometimes the lyrics for five Broadway musicals: Look Ma I'm Dancin', Best Foot forward (Starring Lucille Ball), Make A Wish and High Spirits. He won Oscars for The Trolley Song and Pass the Peacepipe. He was regarded by insiders as be right there with the best and in fact in his early career he arranged the music of Rogers and Hart and Cole Porter among others.

The End:

You just can't buy much for a couple of hundred million any more.

Instead of Government grants going to professors examining the sex habits of garden slugs and aphids, how about researching where not to build nuclear power plants.

A Message of Hope from Wisconsin.

Today's Tids Issue # 2,316
Opening Stuff:

I could live perfectly well if the cel phone had never been invented. Maybe better.

The elected official who will do the most for society must do it understanding that he/she may never be elected again.

Bono of U2 stepped upon the stage in Glasgow Scotland. the crowd went silent. he looked out. Then claped his hands once every few seconds. The audience was rapt. The stony silence was riveting. He stepped forward and picked up the microphone. Looked out. "Every time I clapped my hands a child in Africa dies." From the fornt row a voice with a broad Scottish accent pierced the muted atmosphere. "Well F---in' stop doin' it you evil bastard."

I rarely hop on fad bandwagons, especially most fad food phenomena. But the "blackened" meats and fish fad stuck with me. Unfortunately, like most food fads, chefs get tired of them and move on. So finding "blackened" options on a menu is always good news for me. One of my all time favorites is blackened bluefish with bernaise sauce.

The Question: Which companies are the biggest Hog producers?

The Headlines:
--Rational People Rejoice: Wisconsin GOP Begins Putting Toothpaste Back Into Tube By Outmaneuvering The Dems and Pushing Through Union Rights Legislation.
--Poor Unemployment Apps Report Knocks Down Futures; US TRade Deficit Widens; Moody's Cuts Spain's Rating.
--Libya Rebels Winning Diplomatic Battles But Losing The Fight.
--Imams Denounce Muslims Congressional Hearings.
--Congress Continues To fight The Budget Spending Problem As demanded By Voters Iin November.
--Quality Jobs Not Yet A Big Part Of Employment Growth.

The Libs still fear the possible emergence of Sarah Palin as a tough to beat contender for 2012. I'm thinking the timing of the new HBO Movie "Game Change" is geared to mocking her just as she begins to gain momentum.

After last night's American Idol, my Top 5 are Casey, Lauren, Pia, James, Scotty and Haley. Jacob was a sure thing for top five before last night where he went into intense scream mode. I never thought originally I was going to like Scotty, but he has come through. Paul was a favorite but last night was underwhelming. Others who weren't great but I still like are Karen, Stefano and Naimo. Thia was weak and should be voted off unless she gets the youth vote. I don't think much of Asthon and really disagree with the judges who seem a little too forgiving for her inadequacies.

I'm seeing some positive business growth for small essential businesses that are often victims of discretionary budget cuts in times of downturns.

People in competitive organizations who have trouble arguing against a big idea will always resort to criticizing spelling mistakes. Or hairdos. Or innate niceness.

With the proliferation of Cable TV including pay channels and even satellite radio, there really is no reason for NPR or Public TV. In fact, I would think government funding of media outlets could be argued as blatantly unconstitutional.

A guy was trying to convince Ruth Bader Ginsberg to fish with him in his boat while she argued for staying a shore in waders. After about an hour they agreed to put Roe vs. Wade behind them. You probably thought I was going to say something about bader-waders.

It's too early in the year to be hot.

The Muslims can protest and shout and wave towels, but I have always wondered why their leadership never denounced the actions of people who disgraced their religion.

Almost Near: Chapter 11 continues. --Smanatha was stunned. She stood there silently. She couldn't say it's so nice to see you again Jane...Arlene...Mary. She had no idea who tis was.
Finally she smiled. "I guess it is quite a surprise!"
"Surprise! Nobody in this town ever expected to see you ever again. Especially since your parents moved away." She paused as though she had forgotten something. "Oh, I bet you came back to see your old home. Common in!"
My house, home, Samantha thought. Why was there so much fear in her heart as she was drawn to it. And why was she drawn to it.
"You know that Tommy Lambert moved away too, Just after you left him. He was almost despondent. Nobody has heard form or of him, just like you. Do you have time for lunch? Oh, remember the fun we had in your living room?"
She was rambling now, and Samantha remained mute; Just smiling appropriately from time to time. "So, obviously you brought my parents house?" My parents?
Oh yes, John and I always thought your house was the cutest. Well John never ctually said cute, but he liked it too. A lot."
"So, do you have time for lunch. We have so much catching up to do."
"Sure, why not." I can let her talk, she thought.

The Answer: By far the largest is Smithfield foods. Infact they have six times the number of hogs as #2 Seaboard farms. the other of the top five are Iowa Select farms, Prestige Frams and The Pipestone system. Some names more familiar are #8 Cargill, # 11 Tyson and #13 Hormel. I remember the times when if you were going through beautiful Virginia you would bring home a Smithfield ham...the kind you would have to soak first. Nothing better even if you don't like ham. I was hoping Johnsonville of Johnsonville Brats fame would rank up there.

Actually, the large hog farmers are the American voters.

What do you call a laundromat for pigs? Hogwash; If a piglet scrapes his knee, momma sow puts on oinkment.

I think I write about food too often. is that a sign I may be getting old.

Sex On-Demand.

Today's Tids Issue #2,315
Openiing Stuff:

The latest evidence of the growing trend towards a shorter national attention span is the change from the "7 year itch" to the "3 year glitch." Stress levels in marriages now rise faster, a survey says, with much of it due to work, fewer hours together that magnify annoyances, and perhaps a looser sense of marital responsibility or commitment. In fact, people are so busy that many are scheduling romance on their email calenders. So instead of "You've got mail" you'll be hearing, "You've got 15 minutes for intense passion"!

Actually, I wouldn't be surprised to see Public Employee Unions demanding "Passion Rooms" in all Government locations. Including schools...where teachers will stand around outside the Sex education classes asking kids if they have extra condoms. What a world.

A conceited preacher has an altar ego.

Daily Question: It's a Two-fer. Great deal. 1. With respect to the above "3 year Glitch" comments, what are the ten most common passion dowsers in marriages today? 2. What is the fastest growing region of the US and what 8 states comprise it.

Today's Headlines:
--Experts Says There Is "No Way Out Of Debt Trap."
--Muslims Attack Christians In Cairo Killing 13.
--Wall Street Expected To Be Opening lower On Oil Worries And Portugal Debt.
--Major Off-shore 7.3 Earthquake Rattles Japan.
--Daffy Tells Egypt Army To Butt Out; Daffy Forces Moving To Recapture Towns; Daffy Says To Be Ready For Dire Consequences If No Fly Is Imposed.

Bill Gross, the founder of giant mutual fund company PIMCO, is the "Expert" above who says there is no way out of the Debt trap. He goes on to say the US Standard of Living is doomed to fall. He points out that with states having a combined debt of over $125 Billion and a Congress facing shortfall 10 times that size, we can no longer rely on "The Kindness of strangers" to help cover our debts (China and other countries who want to keep USmarkets open for their products). He sees only two options: 1. Keep spending recklessly into oblivion. 2, Cut entitlements. So basically for years the pols have bribed citizens to get their votes and hoped they would die before the folks discovered the big lie. Now we know and nobody wants to give.

And.. the investment advice: Stay clear of bonds in "dollar dominated terms" and be wary of interest rates rising.

Bill Clinton was in town here, and his most interesting quote was: What the woorld lacks; What America is losing its gip on -- the simple concept that  hard work and good conduct is rewarded by upward mobility and a greater quality of life." Frankly too many in congress have forgotten that mosy important of underlying principals that made the US what it is. Or too close to was.

By the way...have you seen any media outrage at the slaughter of American troops by the Jihadist in Germany. Or the White house for that matter. It's like sending an invitation to drop by with an AK-47 and killl us. And if you happen to be Muslim, don't worry we won't make an issue of it or use that for profiling. So if your caught because of that, you'll probably go free and they will execute the police or customs agent.

In case you missed it, a health expert has named what he feels seven supermarket rip-offs. 1. Organic onions and avocados. (You are paying a lot for two items generally pesticide free even when grown conventionally) 2. FunYums. (Mostly air in bags similar in size to Fritos) 3. Swordfish. ( this high cost fish is not safe at any price. Halibut has better flavor and fewer calories.) 4. Gluten Free Baked goods. (They cost 3-4 times as much as regular breads and there are only less than 1% seriously afflict with cilliac disease. Don't buy to be in as they have plus healthy bennies.) 5. 5 Hour Energy Drink. (It's all about caffeine and Dunkin Donuts 14 oz coffee at $1-2 has 29 more grams than 5-HED at $3=4.) 6. Tenderloin Steak. (You are paying a lot for only tenderness. It is less flavorful than much cheaper cuts like Top Sirloin.) 7. Anything with a cartoon on the box or bag.

On the "It takes a Village" front I see where The Hill is giving England's Royal Family advice on how to cope with wedding stress. The RF only puts on the best wedding shows of anybody in history.

At one time during my college career I dreamed of being an industrial designer. You know the guy who designs how products look as opposed to how they work. I always go for the superficiality. But I have notice that too many designers go for appearance over functionality. And often it is just a little thing, like widning cords around charging devises. Or the size of coffee holders in cars. Often after paying lots of Thousands of dollars they relate to the coffee holder most. So, this wasn't interesting. It was a mental diversion for me. I'm selfish that way.

Send me your pet peeves about the design of products. Mine is logos of cars that intrude upon the clarity of the design.

While we're in England...nobody seems to be excited about the wedding of The Queen's eldest Granddaughter, Zara Phillips, in July. I guess something is only news if the news media is interested in it.

For many Florida golf courses, a thing called The Chelsea System is used to spread around tee times. Simply, the systems tends to penalize the players who play alot while rewarding with better times the others who are more casual. So, I was explaining this to a guy, a very good golfer, but at a club with Chelsea, and his first remark without moments hesitation was: "This sounds like it was designed by Obama!" Redistributing the wealth.

Almost Near: Chapter 11 continues. --Slowly she opened the car door and stepped down. She looked up at the front porch with the hanging swing and the wooden front door with four windows of antique glass across the top. And she froze. She took a breath. Blew it out, and then inhaled deeply. She felt better. She stepped up on the curb and then forward on the slightly slanted up walkway of bricks. She focused on the bricks now. How they were high at the center and curved to the edges to drain the water. It eased the dread she had felt creeping into her mind. She stopped short of the steps and took another deep breath. One step. then two, three and four. Until she was on the porch seven feet from the door. She looked at the doormat with the cheery welcome! She wished its said "Go Away".
She didn't remember reaching the door or rapping the large brass lobster shaped knocker. But the door was opening slowy. Her heart banged in her chest and she took twos steps backward. But she didn't see hell. She saw an angel. A little girl so cute that Samantha smiled broadly immediately. "Who is it Mandy?"
The 6 year old turned her head. "It's a nice lady, Mom".
Samantha heard footsteps and soon a woman about her age emerged behind her little daughter. She came smiling but soon furrowed her brow. "I seem to know you from somewhere.", She asked. She smiled now, but Samantha could see she was still thinking about who this person, me, might be.
My name is Samantha..."
"...Wilcox. You're Samantha Wilcox." And she stepped around Mandy, still with her hand on her shoulder. She gave Samantha a hug. Then stepped back. Samantha reddened. "Samantha Wilcox. Why I'll be damned."

Quiz Answer: 1. The ten flame snuffers in order are Weight gain/Muscle decline 13%), Monetary issue and spend thriftiness, Anti-social work hours, Hygiene as in cleanliness, In-Laws/family overload, Lack of romance, Alcohol, Snoring and anti social bed habits, Same ole' underwear/clothes fasions (?), Bath room habits like stray nail clippings (4%). 2. The Mountain west with states Arizona, Colorado, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico is the next area about to crap up the countryside with rampant development and a smothering influx of people with all of those people problems. I feel, really feel for the people who went there for the peace and beauty. Blah.

Of course, then are those who have managed to get through forty, fifty, sixty years of marriage who wake up occasionally and think...Sex...I remember that!

It's OK to be fat.

Today's Tids Issue 2,314
Opening Stuff:

Welcome to Fat Tuesday everybody! Unfortunately, Michelle Obama is lobbying to replace it with Thin Thursday.

I hear we are entering alligator mating season. I'll try not to make eye contact when looking for my golf balls.

Apparently there is any number of special bills that Florida legislators would rather be discussing than the tough one -- the budget! One in particular, called HB 15, addresses assault and battery on utility workers. Hearings are scheduled to begin some time between 9:00AM and Noon or 1:00PM and 4:00PM. (Brent Batten told me that.)

Is assault and battery on utility workers any different than A&B on little old ladies or Tids writers?

The Question: 
It's time for a Tids DB day (That's "Double Bonus"). How exciting is that? 1. What is the largest restaurant chain? 2. Who are the biggest retailers of sporting goods?

The Headlines:

--Scott Walker In Discussion With Some AWOL Dems; Senate Leader Miller Is Main Stumbling Block.
--Daffy Air Strength Taking Control.
--Prez Breaks Promise To Liberal Base And Resumes Military Trials At Gitmo; Prospects for Closing Cozy Prison Now Nil.
--Northern New York State And New England Buried By Winter Storms 27 Inches of snow. Southern New England Flooded as Intense rains Swell Rivers and Streams.
--Rising Anger Against Public Employee Demand Brewing Across America.
--OPEC Mulling Higher Output.
--Friction Appearing between Miami Heat Superstars James and Wade.

Back to More Stuff:
Avoid anybody who orders his their eggs gloomy side down.

There has never been a better analogy than the Pied Piper story and today's media.

I listen to people who want to rewrite the Constitution to include rights to material things forgetting that it is a perfect document enumerating every possible rational freedom and especially the unrestricted opportunity to achieve.

I look at all of the media praise for the rise of the rebels overthrowing the middle East tyrants and how well 0-Man handled it. And, I'm thinking Batista and the elitist euphoria over the efforts and dynamic leadership of chief rebel, the highly romanticized Fidel Castro. How did that work out for ya? It isn't over til it's really over. Check this out; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9sMo-LTdSc

I have found a new taste treat. I always carry those little packs of cheese or peanut butter crackers in my golf bag to continually replenish my finely honed body. And yesterday I discovered the new Frito-Lay brand -- powered by Cheetos!

A couple of people told me that to cash a check at Bank of America they had to submit to being fingerprinted. How intrusive is that! In fact, it is the BoA Executives who should be finger printed.

Almost Near: Chapter 11 continues. --Samantha drove as if guided by an invisible. She came intersections and turned confidently without knowing why. Through the confusing maze south of Portsmouth. And finally down Route 1a which would bring her to New Castle. The roads drawing her near to this remote town , but deep seated, subconscious fears urging her to stop. She was exhilerated by the widing roadway crossing little islets on it's way to a destiny. She was depressed by thought she couldn't understand that crept into her head.
She wanted to again to return to her perfect life in Lobster Cove. She fought to remember all the good things about Aunt Ginny and Mrs. Fletcher and Zack Whithers. But it wasn't so clear now. her head was whirling between natural New England beauty and deep black.
The car moved forward. She couldn't control it any more. Her hands gripped the wheel. Her foot accelerated and slowed robotically.
She lost control of the thoughts that gave her safe haven. Lobster Cove disappeared and new Castles white antique homes turned a forbidding grey. The car stopped before a large home that should have been beautiful but seemed angry. Was she drawn here to fight or to submit. A little light appeared in her head as she sat motionless, rigid. Scared. It was Tucker. Tucker had given her strength and she had run from him. And she needed him now.

0-man has spent more time criticizing Scott Walker, who is doing for his state what he should be doing for the country, than Daffy who is murdering his own people who only look for peace and fairness.

Is anybody hurt more by the gas price increases than the invisible morning newspaper delivery person. That unsung hero who works silently on your behalf; To help your start a better day.

Cranston West High School in Cranston has since 1963 a Prayer on the wall of the Auditorium: "Our heavenly father, guide the students...". Unsurprisingly recently, someone called the ACLU to sue to have it removed forever. Guess what! the Cranston school committee voted 4-3 to tell the ACLU to shove it. The prayer stays!

You know it's a sad day in sports when the biggest news out of the NFL is Tom Brady's new hair-do. What 's next, Brady on Jersey Shore? God what a disturbing mess this world has become.

Weddings at McDonalds in Hong Kong are hot! Apparently poeple are lining up to say "I do" amidst the aromas of mustard and pickles and excitement of fries sizzling in the fry-o-lator. Does Ronald McD perform the service?

The Answer:
1. The little sub shop that began in a below street level store in the Yale area of New Haven has passed Micky D's as the worlds largest "restaurant" chain -- 33,749 to 32,737 locations. Personally, I think Subway is a rip-off. 2. Dicks passed Sports Authority a couple of years ago. Interestingly, these two giants in sports are but numbers 193 and 247 on the overall list of largest retailers. Other large sports retailers are Gart, Academy, Big 5, Galyans, Mosells, Olympic. I spent half my youth hungrily walking the aisles of local sports stores, all locally owned at the time. I could write a novella about those wide eyed days.

The Obese Ending:
As a Red Sox fan I had to love the WikiLeaks revelation about a US diplomat calling Ahmadinejad "The Steinbrenner of Iran"!

You know you have come to a bad place by the number of used gum spots on the floor. Get me outta here.

Sometimes doing nothing is the only solution, especially when doing something that doesn't really need to be done costs money.

Eat anything you want and love it. Today is your day.