It's The VJ month...whether you like it or not.

Today's Tids Issue #2,400
(Written 8/1, 2011)

Opening Stuff:

Wow, it's August already! The month with no Holidays, unless of course you live in RI where despite numerous attempts by the "kinder and gentler" to eradicate memories and shoot down a momentous day in US History, the people here still celebrate VJ Day! Oh, they've tried to disguise it with a various succession of new names, but enough publicity remains to get the word out. Happy VJ day everybody!! After that, most of August is waiting for the end of Summer and the beginning of beautiful Fall! And of course Back-to-School sales.

"One Day More". It's still the biggest headline for today, even as 0-Man announces an agreement. It must clear the two houses. "One day more" today is not unlike these selected lyrics from Les Miz: "One day more! / Another day, another destiny... / One more day before the storm... /Tomorrow we'll discover / What God in heaven has in store / One more dawn / One more day / One day more." And the there is the optimistic, Tea Party side of the One Day More: "One day to a new beginning / Raise the flag of freedom high / There's a new world for the winning / There's a new world to be won." But, in the aftermath of hope, if you remember the scene, come the scavengers crawling though the sewers taking the gold teeth form the mouths of the brave, "Watch them run amok, catch them as they fall, never know your luck when there's a free for all." Which way will it fall? Has it all been disguised to fool us all?

Some people have dyed their hair so much, they have to hire a genealogist to find the historic roots!

The Question:
According to PGA statistical rankings, who is the best all around golfer on the PGA tour? Quickie Bonus: What are you doing when you are doffing?

The Headlines:

--Prez Announces Agreement That would Save Two Trillion And Establish Select Panal To Determine New Path To Fiscal Sanity.
--Boener Says republicans Got It Done With No Tax Increase.
--World Markets Out Front With Uptick After Positive US Debt news; US Futures Look Good.
--Giant British HSBC Bank To Cut 30,000 Jobs Worldwide.
--World Factories Barely Move In June; Europe Stalls, China Slows.
Syria Citizens Bombarded For Two days Over Weekend, )ne Eve Of Ramadan, 80 Dead In Hama.
--Extremists Groups Use FaceBook To Find Recruiter.
--New Micro Distillery Law In NC Has One Entrepreneur Producing Legal Moonshine.

The bicycle rider found that the seaside road was good for coasting.

There are just too many people out there wanting to help me through my life. Like the latest recommendation form Fortune Magazine -- Stepchild of nanny-state fostering Time Inc: "Get a retirement Coach!" Here's some retirement coaching for you -- Stop hiring all of these coaches and assorted facilitators so your retirement money will last until you die. And, that advice is free to you. Medicare will not pay for advice from the Tids. It's too practical.

I think my favorite All-Time Tennis players are Evonne Goolagong and Ken Rosewall.

And then, I have to believe that the media left loved the emergence of an excuse like Anders Breivik upon which they could rale against the "Right", just as they did when they targeted Palin as the reason behind the Gabby disaster.

The next big culturally popular way for young upwardly mobiles and their fawners to lose their minds will be with the advent of chic "Moonshine". I can see the wheels turning in the minds of Booze marketers after reading about the new Shine operation in North Carolina. "Moonshine overT Manhattan."

Put a fence around the Middle East. Now that the Prez has Detroit making better mileage cars, we don't need them anyhow. The new State Department report underscoring new levels of violence in Iraq, just reminds us that there is probably no possible solution to the turmoil anywhere in the region. Two many factions with too little restraint seems to assure instability as the rule in the ancient sand hills and alleys there. Maybe that's why Militant Dictators have been the most successful rulers in the mire we call the Middle East.

I have met some amazing Middle Easterners. Brilliant, warm, humorous and peaceful. The problem there isn't the individual. it's the groups that individuals gravitate to.

The battling reports about cancer from cell phones continues. The latest is a report based on an extensive study that says there is absolutely no chance of cancer form cell phones. Have you notice that reports warning of cell phone induced cancer always are couched with the phrase "Might be" while the reports refuting them always use the phrase, "Absolutely no."

Almost Near Chapter 31 continues. --"Actually, I'm just going to stroll up that way to see what I can see. I think two people would be too obvious." She turned to walk but stopped. "You know I'm beginning to think you are perfect. Maybe you've noticed. But, don't get a swelled head." Tucker just sat there with a dumb look on his face. He never knew how to respond to words and looks like that.
Audrey continued. "This is a tender moment. -- No, not between you and me!" She laughed an smiled. "I've been thinking about this a lot while we drove. These kids may be severely traumatized, based on what you believe may have happened to your girl friend. I'm starting to feel for them. The last thing we want to do is barge in and add to their discomfort. I just want to be sure they are safe. And, Florence may have gone to this place now, to move them again. I'll be right back."
Tucker just sat there thinking about this amazing person who he was watching walk down the street. And then his mind ran to Samantha in Lobster Cove. He pulled out his cell phone.

The Answer: 
1. You probably did not guess that when you review all stats, Webb Simpson is #1 on the PGA Tour! He's 33rd in Driving Distance, 77th in Driving Accuracy, Greens in Reg 22nd, Eagles 66th, Birdie Avg. 5th, Scoring Avg. 6th, Sand Save 26th, Total Driving 10th. So, that's what it takes to be #1. But, he has never won a tournament. Quickie: When you are doffing,you are removing an article of clothing, or tipping your hat.

Most people in the world are just about the same until they come under the influence of something or someone.

It's OK to be fat.

Today's Tids Issue 2,314
Opening Stuff:

Welcome to Fat Tuesday everybody! Unfortunately, Michelle Obama is lobbying to replace it with Thin Thursday.

I hear we are entering alligator mating season. I'll try not to make eye contact when looking for my golf balls.

Apparently there is any number of special bills that Florida legislators would rather be discussing than the tough one -- the budget! One in particular, called HB 15, addresses assault and battery on utility workers. Hearings are scheduled to begin some time between 9:00AM and Noon or 1:00PM and 4:00PM. (Brent Batten told me that.)

Is assault and battery on utility workers any different than A&B on little old ladies or Tids writers?

The Question: 
It's time for a Tids DB day (That's "Double Bonus"). How exciting is that? 1. What is the largest restaurant chain? 2. Who are the biggest retailers of sporting goods?

The Headlines:

--Scott Walker In Discussion With Some AWOL Dems; Senate Leader Miller Is Main Stumbling Block.
--Daffy Air Strength Taking Control.
--Prez Breaks Promise To Liberal Base And Resumes Military Trials At Gitmo; Prospects for Closing Cozy Prison Now Nil.
--Northern New York State And New England Buried By Winter Storms 27 Inches of snow. Southern New England Flooded as Intense rains Swell Rivers and Streams.
--Rising Anger Against Public Employee Demand Brewing Across America.
--OPEC Mulling Higher Output.
--Friction Appearing between Miami Heat Superstars James and Wade.

Back to More Stuff:
Avoid anybody who orders his their eggs gloomy side down.

There has never been a better analogy than the Pied Piper story and today's media.

I listen to people who want to rewrite the Constitution to include rights to material things forgetting that it is a perfect document enumerating every possible rational freedom and especially the unrestricted opportunity to achieve.

I look at all of the media praise for the rise of the rebels overthrowing the middle East tyrants and how well 0-Man handled it. And, I'm thinking Batista and the elitist euphoria over the efforts and dynamic leadership of chief rebel, the highly romanticized Fidel Castro. How did that work out for ya? It isn't over til it's really over. Check this out; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9sMo-LTdSc

I have found a new taste treat. I always carry those little packs of cheese or peanut butter crackers in my golf bag to continually replenish my finely honed body. And yesterday I discovered the new Frito-Lay brand -- powered by Cheetos!

A couple of people told me that to cash a check at Bank of America they had to submit to being fingerprinted. How intrusive is that! In fact, it is the BoA Executives who should be finger printed.

Almost Near: Chapter 11 continues. --Samantha drove as if guided by an invisible. She came intersections and turned confidently without knowing why. Through the confusing maze south of Portsmouth. And finally down Route 1a which would bring her to New Castle. The roads drawing her near to this remote town , but deep seated, subconscious fears urging her to stop. She was exhilerated by the widing roadway crossing little islets on it's way to a destiny. She was depressed by thought she couldn't understand that crept into her head.
She wanted to again to return to her perfect life in Lobster Cove. She fought to remember all the good things about Aunt Ginny and Mrs. Fletcher and Zack Whithers. But it wasn't so clear now. her head was whirling between natural New England beauty and deep black.
The car moved forward. She couldn't control it any more. Her hands gripped the wheel. Her foot accelerated and slowed robotically.
She lost control of the thoughts that gave her safe haven. Lobster Cove disappeared and new Castles white antique homes turned a forbidding grey. The car stopped before a large home that should have been beautiful but seemed angry. Was she drawn here to fight or to submit. A little light appeared in her head as she sat motionless, rigid. Scared. It was Tucker. Tucker had given her strength and she had run from him. And she needed him now.

0-man has spent more time criticizing Scott Walker, who is doing for his state what he should be doing for the country, than Daffy who is murdering his own people who only look for peace and fairness.

Is anybody hurt more by the gas price increases than the invisible morning newspaper delivery person. That unsung hero who works silently on your behalf; To help your start a better day.

Cranston West High School in Cranston has since 1963 a Prayer on the wall of the Auditorium: "Our heavenly father, guide the students...". Unsurprisingly recently, someone called the ACLU to sue to have it removed forever. Guess what! the Cranston school committee voted 4-3 to tell the ACLU to shove it. The prayer stays!

You know it's a sad day in sports when the biggest news out of the NFL is Tom Brady's new hair-do. What 's next, Brady on Jersey Shore? God what a disturbing mess this world has become.

Weddings at McDonalds in Hong Kong are hot! Apparently poeple are lining up to say "I do" amidst the aromas of mustard and pickles and excitement of fries sizzling in the fry-o-lator. Does Ronald McD perform the service?

The Answer:
1. The little sub shop that began in a below street level store in the Yale area of New Haven has passed Micky D's as the worlds largest "restaurant" chain -- 33,749 to 32,737 locations. Personally, I think Subway is a rip-off. 2. Dicks passed Sports Authority a couple of years ago. Interestingly, these two giants in sports are but numbers 193 and 247 on the overall list of largest retailers. Other large sports retailers are Gart, Academy, Big 5, Galyans, Mosells, Olympic. I spent half my youth hungrily walking the aisles of local sports stores, all locally owned at the time. I could write a novella about those wide eyed days.

The Obese Ending:
As a Red Sox fan I had to love the WikiLeaks revelation about a US diplomat calling Ahmadinejad "The Steinbrenner of Iran"!

You know you have come to a bad place by the number of used gum spots on the floor. Get me outta here.

Sometimes doing nothing is the only solution, especially when doing something that doesn't really need to be done costs money.

Eat anything you want and love it. Today is your day.

What flew over the cuckoo's nest?

Today's Tids Issue 2,250
Opening Stuff:

Happy Hanukkah everybody!

A WikiLeaks item reveals that Arab people felt better about America because of "Desperate Housewives" and David Letterman. I don't know about you but I feel worse for America becasue of David Letterman and Desperate. Let's hope they don't think Jersey Shore is America. I really hate being defined abroad by US Television.

You have to wonder about the sincerity of the newly empowered Republicans when they name "The Prince of Pork", Kentucky Rep Hal Rogers, as Chairman of the powerful House Appropriations Committee. He says that the people voted and I hear them! Yeah, sure! Lets hope the tax payers aren't getting barbecued...again.

The Question: 
A new poll this week had GW Bush approval ratings up to 47%, far above his exit ratings. The poll also rated all modern day Presidents starting with Kennedy. How do you think they rate?

The Headlines:

--Market Looks Up After Better Jobless Report.
--Democrats Reluctantly slogging Towards Obama Compromise Tax Plan That Serve All Americans.
--New Jobless Claims Fall Again.
--WikiLeaks Payment Processor To Sue Credit Card Companies For Their refusal To Process Donations To Company.
--Chasen Murder Mystery Apparently Solved; Lone Man On Bicycle Who Later Took Own Life Named As Killer; Police Say Not A Murder for Hire Conspiracy But Robbery Gone bad.
--Morgan-Stanley will Pay 10-25% Less In Bonuses This Year Due To Volatile Market Conditions.
--FBI Stings Averts Bombing Disaster At Maryland Recruitment Center

Back to More Stuff:
Now Obama knows what every recent President has learned. Peace in the Middle East is a nice idea, but love isn't the answer. Yesterday the US esentially thorough up their hands and walked away.

I thought the NFL season ended Monday night after the Pats firmly beat the Jets! But there's a quarter of the season left and it is meaningful to more teams than ever. And this week's picks are as tough as they get, and what makes them tougher are that many of the slightly favored teams are visiting teams. Like the Pat's at Chi, Denver/Ariz, TB/Wash, Phil/Dallas and Balt/Houst. I think home teams Buffalo, Pitt, Jax, NO, SF, NYJets and San Diego (KC's Cassel had an appendectomy last night) will win. As will Visitors, Indy, Giants, Atlanta and Green Bay. So now the tougher ones: I got to go with my heart and pick the Pats over "da Bears". Then I go Arizona, Tampa Bay, Dallas and Baltimore. Last week's 10-6 brought us to 128-63 (67%). I hate to think what next week looks like.

Among the many records achieved during Monday night's Pats-Jets game was the most arrests ever of intoxicated Pats fans after the game. What do you expect in 20 degree weather? It was all medicinal.

An insightful reader with consistently keen observations on Tid's remarks, yesterday sends this reply to a piece about Tea Party power gains: "Or. this means that the insiders are setting them up to get crushed by the system so they will be gone in four years...". Yes, you never know what's really happening in Washington...especially when they say they are being open and honest with you!

There's talk going around that points out that the US didn't really get serious about Wiki until it was revealed that the next big leak was to be about big banking and financial institution operations. We know where the real power lies.

I debated yesterday on whether or not to add to the Elizabeth Edwards onslaught. I decided that this pleasant women with nice children and relatives who will miss her dearly had had enough, and I couldn't add to it. I received several notes thanking me for not adding to the pile-on. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that her sleazebag husband would announce for the President in 2012 "Because Elizabeth would want that way". He is that low.

I actually had another Q for today, but I'll just use it as an informational piece for all of us who get confused at Dog Shows. The AKC divides all breeds into 8 groups. For instance, the big show in RI this weekend expects 5,000 dogs including 160 breeds. You have your Sporting dogs (Setters, Retrieves, Spaniels). You got the Hounds, the Terriers, the Toys. Then there are the Working dogs (Boxers, Dobermans, Huskies) and the Herding Dogs (Collies et. al.). A big catch-all category, Non-Sporting Dogs, includes poodles (Originally a hunter), Alaskan Eskimo, Dalmatians and French Boxers. The eigth group is called "Miscellaneous" and includes breeds that nobody understands like the ever popular Xoloitzcuinili! These dogs can compete in that category but do earn any Championship points. It is expected that they will be included in the new "Dream Act working its way through Congress. So...feel smarter?

Vegetarians will probably be dismayed knowing that animal products are widely available and indeed critical to many products they all use regularly. 1. Plastic shopping bags and in the future disposable diapers and hispital gowns. 2.Animal stearic acid help bicycle and car tires hold shape under surface friction. 3. Wood glue in instruments like violins and furniture. 4. BioFuels. Yes veggie people, it's not just corn and sugar cane. There's Beef bio-diesel and chicken bio-dieesl Yum. 5. Fireworks! (No hot dogs or firecrackers on the 4th! Gadzooks. 6. Fabric Softener. 7. Shampoo and Conditioner. Manufacturers have removed the word "animal" from ingredients lists to fool the vegans. 8. Toothpaste. 9; White and brown sugar. Wouldn't life as a vegetarian be an awful thing...always doubting what you touch or wear or eat. God, life is tough enough.

At this reading only Buffalo, Denver, Cincinnati, Carolina, Detroit and Arizona are dead in the NFL Playoff picture. 4-8 Dallas is near death, yet 4-8 San Fran has a decent chance in the NFC West. That's why picking games has been so tough this year. Anybody can win and that includes Buffalo and Cleveland who actually look quite strong at times. Unless the bottom drops out for some current leaders, the final 12 looks like the Pats, Jets. Pitt, Balt, KC, Jax and Indy. The next best to make it in the AFC are SD and Oakland. In the NFC I'm seeing the Giants, Eagles, St. Louis, Bears, Packers, Saints and Atlanta. Tampa Bay and Seattle are hanging around and Seattle has a real chance to get in. In the meantime there are four games left and they will be wars throughout the leagues.

Has there been a more threatening lame duck session of Congress than this one? This so called dream act just incentivizes illegal behavior. It says, "hey common' over. You can't lose." On the other hand, it is refreshing to see that the Supreme Court seems to be leaning in favor of Arizona's Law that would require employers to check documentation. Let's face we already have plenty of immigration laws fair to people throughout the world. Frankly I'm tired of being called an immigrant hater because I believe in laws.

The Answer:
JFK actually had relative low approval ratings while in office but his dramatic martyrdom combined with pleasant positive memories make him the Prez with the highest approval rating at 85%. Ronald is second at 74% followed by Clinton (69 - Way up from "most dishonest" after Monica), GHW Bush (64- With Clinton, Johnson, up the most since 2006 poll), Ford, (61), Carter (51 - Most and only down since last poll), Johnson (49), "W" (47) and Milhouse (Still a lowly 29).

The End:
Has Congress ever been nuttier? The left is typically illogical, but they get irrational when they lose. It must be the old cornered animal thing. Kum bye ya.

Bikinis and Quakes.

Today's Tids Issue 2,112
Opening Stuff:

“Peace in the Middle East? Hah!” Department:
In the latest example of seriously brain dead leaders in the volatile Iran, a leading cleric yesterday posited that promiscuous woman cause earthquakes. His actual words -- really, honest -- were: “…many women who do not dress modestly…lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which consequently increases earthquakes.” Has Pat Robertson moved to Iran?

Of course then you have the panicky Malicki calling for a vote recount after he had lost his election bid to Allawi. If that vote is overturned, expect more mayhem of the worst kind. Peace? Hah!


Wall Street seems less worried about Goldman than about which other Bankers may be on the Fed hit list. As one stock analyst said: “There’s never just one cockroach”.

The Question:
In light of the Vatican shenanigans lately, I’m reminded of a Mark Twain quote: “The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little, by way of example.” In honor of the 11th Anniversary of the great author’s de books.ath, name five of his best

The Headlines:
--Arizona Passes Tough Law That Ramp Up States Ability To Curtail Illegal Immigrant Activity.
--North Winds Blowing Volcanic Ash Back Over Britain.
--Goldman Reports $3.3 Billion First Quarter Earnings; Dem Senators Using Goldman Case To reinforce Their Drive For Passage Of Tough Walls Street Regs.
-- Strong Showing for First Quarter Earnings Reports; Market Expecting Health Jolt From Rosy Reports.
--Iraqi Authorities Verify The Killing Of Two al-Qaida Leaders.

Back to More Stuff:

Outrageous Headline of the Day Department:
“Are school lunches a national security threat?” This was based on some military officers observations that it’s harder to train overweight young people.

I was sitting in a parking lot waiting and watching people. I noticed a bunch of teens going into TJ Maxx; the boys following the girls and looking very bored. And trying to look tough and cool. Which must be hard to do these days having chosen to dress like dorks.

Speaking of male dress, the new word on 34th street is “Retrosexual”. And, believe it or not it is a movement back to fashion that makes men look like men. With men’s hair cuts from barbers instead of stylists. With suits and shoes form the late fifties. I’d better check my closet. Get ready to look decent again. Must be a Tea Party thing.

We read about the brave men who climb Everest. We weep with horror at the tragedies of those who were left to die. But, always, the Sherpa guides are there with these adventurers, just doing their job helping them up and getting them down. And now the Nepalese government is asking the Sherpa guides to clean up the mountain – remove the 300 bodies left there; pick up the tons of trash marring the mountain top. Like…Oh say…sending a team of maintenance workers out each evening to clean up Disneyland!

How come most all of the so-called “cradles of humankind” have barely progressed much beyond their cultures of 3-4,000 years ago?

Schubert’s 9th Symphony is often labeled by knowledgeable experts as “Schubert’s Great 9th.” Frankly, this absolute neophyte has to disagree. It is almost great. But I have always felt that the ending just doesn’t live up to the accolade. It has the potential to get there. It’s an emotional thing for me. And my fantasy is to know more about music to help a symphony get there some day.

Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 66 continues. –After what seemed like a minute but really only seconds, he looked at me and smiled, “Showers make you look more beautiful than a morning sunrise.” Then he hugged me. But this moment even after a most intense sexual romp, it didn’t feel like a loving hug. Not like it had always felt before. Something new has been inserted in between. Now in this embrace even as I feel the warmth between us growing, I wasn’t thinking of the purity of my guiltless feelings for him. I am not disregarding as I have for months my innocent family – Paul, Jax, Jill – loving me, truly without reservations. Loving me for the entire world to see. If I hadn’t come to this bathroom, would I have ever been able to break the bonds of my captivity? I released my arms from around him and pushed my hands up between our chests. “I have to go home now.” I said quietly. I could barely hear myself.
“If you must,” He countered with a tender appearing smile. Now looking into his eyes I was unsure of what I was seeing. I walked down to the living room, He held my hand as he followed. We didn’t speak. Now I wondered what he was thinking. I saw my clothes strewn upon the furniture and floor. And I momentarily remembered the feelings of it all. The wonderful exciting feelings.
“Wow” I heard him exaggerate, “We must have been crazy in love!” I turned and smiled. And I actually felt my body responding. Could I ever break away from his control? .

Not that I’m a cynic or anything, but that Fed prosecution of Goldman announcement just had to be timed to aid passage of the Wall Street Reg bill. The best regulation is to take away any and all bailout cushions.

Never known to miss a chance to attach his name to a consumer controversy and insert big government into our lives, Slick Charles Schumer has proposed the passage of a bill that would ban airlines from charging for carry-on luggage. Hey Charlie, did you ever hear about the American free enterprise economy that progressed very well with out enacted laws. Have you ever heard of the law of competitive equalization?

The Answer:
Five of his best known novels were written while he lived in Hartford Ct: Adventures of Tom Sawyer, Prince and the Pauper, Life on the Mississippi, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthurs Court. You would also be “write” if you thought of A Tramp Abroad, Captain Stormfield’s Visit to Heaven, Roughing It and The Tragedy of Puddinhead Wilson. Personally, I thought Will Rogers was funnier

A Modest Ending:

Every time I read about a climber summiting Everest, I always think if the faceless Sherpa who helped him and several before him to the top.