Much, much too hot!

Today's Tids Issue # 2,579
Opening Stuff:

Happy Patriots Day everybody. This is an official Massachusetts holiday that most people in RI take off too. It celebrates Paul Revere's ride and features a late morning Red Sox game and of course the 116th running of The Boston Marathon. So basically, after the Tids this morn, I'm outta here.

Some people get a first round bye in life. Others have to win a couple of play-in games to get there. But, in America everybody has the same chance to get to the same place. So, 0-Man, what's the big need for change?

All of those stories about the Titanic which are gobbling up tons of newsprint are basically a massive promotion for the re-release of an Ok movie. (With all due respect for living family members of deceased, of course.)

The Question:

Double Day: 1. Which US President was the first to throw out a Ceremonial First Pitch to begin the Baseball Season? 2. Who said, "Big-time art, is Big-time money."?

The Headlines:

--Midwest Cleaning Up After Latest Tornado Assault.
--Embolden Taliban Increase rate Of Attacks.
--Boston Marathon Warns Runners To Heed Intense Heat; Go Slow; Drop Out If Necessary.
--Rhode Island Waters Named Among Country's Cleanest.

Yesterday morning I was reading with a little civic pride the story of Joann Flaminio, the new and first woman President of the Boston Athletic Association (The historic and venerable Boston Marathon gang). She is a lawyer living in Providence RI and running Boston's big deal! That's cool. But then I came across the line in her quickie bio, "...she became Executive Director of the (RI) state employees Retirement System."! And I said whoops. That retirement system is in the process of putting a majority of RI towns and cities, and the state itself, on the edge of bankruptcy. Is the BAA next? Oh yeah, and her main objective for the august organization -- diversity.

They are saying that the Tea Party is a live and Well. That doesn't surprise me. After all, it is a movement based in the hearts of honest, hardworking regular people. It annoys secularists, elitists and people who like to over spend and over-indulge.

I am really becoming bothered by all of these shootings in public places. It seems we anymore that we seldom have a week where somebody doesn't shoot or stab somebody in a very public place or work setting. It's disturbing know that a quiet cup of coffee somewhere could turn into a dive under a table...or death.

I see the Brangelina wedding as being a very understated one, perhaps in a small African village. With children's choirs making beautiful music. And pits of crocodiles and constrictors keeping away the dreadful, creepy paparazzi.

Controversies over nothing, Department:
The rage in Boston is to discuss who should replace the great Elsbury as lead-off hitter. First, the lead-off hitter is only assured of leading off once. Unless of course, the other pitcher is pitching a perfect game. then it doesn't matter. Now, the lead off hitter is more likely to be a clean-up hitter for the bottom three or a middle of the line up guy who can keep a rally going. Which basically makes him just like every other hitter, except maybe the clean-up hitter...who really is only assured of being clean-up hitter once.

The housing market is poised for a big improvement. Home prices and interest rates are a significant lows, so expect an uptick in sales. There's is just one thing missing -- the giant customer pie that made housing a huge contributor to the mid first decade of the 2000's boom. Now, the home buyers must be able to afford the house they buy. That probably means that sales of existing homes will be better and opportunities for new home building, the jobs engine, will be minimal.

The President relies on his super wealthy FOO's to fund his attacks on Romney's wealth. Weird, huh?

Beware of brides who go on crash diets before weddings.

Let's hear it for Terry Francona, who is refusing to come back for the big celebration of Fenway Park's 100th. Every living ex-Sox player and manager will be there except the only man who as manager has won two World Series. But, last year following the firing of Terry, an article mysteriously appeared in the Boston Globe disparaging Terry's personal character. It was said to be from unknown sources in the Sox organization. In other words somebody at the team decided it was a good idea to kick a good man, who gave every thing to the organization, when he was down. Trying to make themselves look like the good guys by demeaning and honest man. Terry says "I will not be a phony and show up to laugh and whoop it up with a bunch of people who injured me deeply," and who for five months never answered his phone calls...or called back. Until, or course they saw that his absence would be a public relations problem.

The Dem Senate leadership was looking for a shallow, gullible Senator to introduce the inane so-called BuffetRule bill, so they chose RI's own Sheldon Whitehouse. Who, by the way is one of those guilt-ridden silver-spooners from a historically wealthy family. A guy who is happy to line up against his fellow wealthy in this fictitious solution to the Deficit problem. He has no clue that many people with limited resources will be hurt gravely by changes in the capital gains tax. A guy who has never lived in real life. A morph.

Almost Near: The Epilogue. --Samantha and the girls were renting a nice, little, white clapboard cape with deep green shutters, and orange day lillies peeping over a white fence, on a windy road one street over from the wide mouth of the Piscataqua River. Everything in Newcastle was about a street over from the Piscataqua River. It wasn't far from where she grew up, and certainly but a stones throw from Dante's home.
After the hospital she took authorities to Tucker's house in Lobster Cove. Unlike her first trip there, everybody greeted her with a cheery "Hi Samantha". Even Mrs. Fletcher, who's eyes lit up as she came from behind the counter to give her a big hug. This felt like home but, she knew it was a lie. She didn't need lies any more. After a cup of coffee and some sweets at Fletchers, they all checked in across the street. Then Sparrow, Barton and Audrey spent four days up at tucker's house going through his writings and journals. Even now, Samantha was often struck by the beauty of his descriptive words and the lyricism of his poems. "This murderer and pervert sure could write," she laughed at Sparrow and Barton.
The two sleuths were ecstatic over the incriminating, almost confession style evidence they were piling up. They even found hints of other murders, of innocents it appears who may have annoyed Samantha over the 18 years. The grizzeled veterans couldn't believe what tey were finding and reading. They both felt a new kind of awe for Samantha.
The trials in three different states became complex because Tucker or Tommy was clearly insane. Finally he was convicted of all the murders, but becasue he was deemed incapacitated by reason of insanity, he evaded the death Penalty. Tommy Lambert is in the New Hampshire's secure psychiatric unit for the rest of his life. But, because this is a psychiatric unit, the inmates are counseled towards the hope of eventual recovery. The District attorney's of the three states assured Samantha that Tommy Lambert would be there for life.
Audrey was with Sam and the girls in the little house trying to put together the pieces for a book.. Dante was popping in more and more, and the girls were kidding mom, who was blushing more and more.
It still wasn't easy for Samantha who religiously went to meet with her psychoanalyst. The truths she found within herself were awful, horrifying -- sometimes incomprehensible. Yet, she found enormous strength co-existing with the hurts. The strength was winning. She knew who she was. And she liked it.
The girls could see in it in her too. Sheila was becoming stronger, drawing self-confidence from her Mom. Beck was going to be Rudy forever, but Samantha hoped not as mean. Beck actually smiled a little more now, and it was always the warmest smile in the room. "What should we do for fun today girls?" Samantha looked at them and felt secure, free from Tucker and Tommy.

Almost Near ends tomorrow. Stay tuned.

The Answer:

1. In 1910, William Howard Taft became the firrst President to throw out the first baseball to start a season of the National Pastime. 2. In honor of Thomas Kinkade's death we bring you Andy Warhol's words.

The media is saying that the actions of the US Secret Service is taking the worlds eyes off of the main objectives of the America's conference in Columbia -- building a stronger economic future and trying to dilute the power of the giant and ruthless illegal drug industry. Of course the reason people are missing the central points of the conference is becasue of media's fascination with the titillation of an event which does not surprise me at all. Guys finished work drinking and raising hell?

It's OK to be fat.

Today's Tids Issue 2,314
Opening Stuff:

Welcome to Fat Tuesday everybody! Unfortunately, Michelle Obama is lobbying to replace it with Thin Thursday.

I hear we are entering alligator mating season. I'll try not to make eye contact when looking for my golf balls.

Apparently there is any number of special bills that Florida legislators would rather be discussing than the tough one -- the budget! One in particular, called HB 15, addresses assault and battery on utility workers. Hearings are scheduled to begin some time between 9:00AM and Noon or 1:00PM and 4:00PM. (Brent Batten told me that.)

Is assault and battery on utility workers any different than A&B on little old ladies or Tids writers?

The Question: 
It's time for a Tids DB day (That's "Double Bonus"). How exciting is that? 1. What is the largest restaurant chain? 2. Who are the biggest retailers of sporting goods?

The Headlines:

--Scott Walker In Discussion With Some AWOL Dems; Senate Leader Miller Is Main Stumbling Block.
--Daffy Air Strength Taking Control.
--Prez Breaks Promise To Liberal Base And Resumes Military Trials At Gitmo; Prospects for Closing Cozy Prison Now Nil.
--Northern New York State And New England Buried By Winter Storms 27 Inches of snow. Southern New England Flooded as Intense rains Swell Rivers and Streams.
--Rising Anger Against Public Employee Demand Brewing Across America.
--OPEC Mulling Higher Output.
--Friction Appearing between Miami Heat Superstars James and Wade.

Back to More Stuff:
Avoid anybody who orders his their eggs gloomy side down.

There has never been a better analogy than the Pied Piper story and today's media.

I listen to people who want to rewrite the Constitution to include rights to material things forgetting that it is a perfect document enumerating every possible rational freedom and especially the unrestricted opportunity to achieve.

I look at all of the media praise for the rise of the rebels overthrowing the middle East tyrants and how well 0-Man handled it. And, I'm thinking Batista and the elitist euphoria over the efforts and dynamic leadership of chief rebel, the highly romanticized Fidel Castro. How did that work out for ya? It isn't over til it's really over. Check this out; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9sMo-LTdSc

I have found a new taste treat. I always carry those little packs of cheese or peanut butter crackers in my golf bag to continually replenish my finely honed body. And yesterday I discovered the new Frito-Lay brand -- powered by Cheetos!

A couple of people told me that to cash a check at Bank of America they had to submit to being fingerprinted. How intrusive is that! In fact, it is the BoA Executives who should be finger printed.

Almost Near: Chapter 11 continues. --Samantha drove as if guided by an invisible. She came intersections and turned confidently without knowing why. Through the confusing maze south of Portsmouth. And finally down Route 1a which would bring her to New Castle. The roads drawing her near to this remote town , but deep seated, subconscious fears urging her to stop. She was exhilerated by the widing roadway crossing little islets on it's way to a destiny. She was depressed by thought she couldn't understand that crept into her head.
She wanted to again to return to her perfect life in Lobster Cove. She fought to remember all the good things about Aunt Ginny and Mrs. Fletcher and Zack Whithers. But it wasn't so clear now. her head was whirling between natural New England beauty and deep black.
The car moved forward. She couldn't control it any more. Her hands gripped the wheel. Her foot accelerated and slowed robotically.
She lost control of the thoughts that gave her safe haven. Lobster Cove disappeared and new Castles white antique homes turned a forbidding grey. The car stopped before a large home that should have been beautiful but seemed angry. Was she drawn here to fight or to submit. A little light appeared in her head as she sat motionless, rigid. Scared. It was Tucker. Tucker had given her strength and she had run from him. And she needed him now.

0-man has spent more time criticizing Scott Walker, who is doing for his state what he should be doing for the country, than Daffy who is murdering his own people who only look for peace and fairness.

Is anybody hurt more by the gas price increases than the invisible morning newspaper delivery person. That unsung hero who works silently on your behalf; To help your start a better day.

Cranston West High School in Cranston has since 1963 a Prayer on the wall of the Auditorium: "Our heavenly father, guide the students...". Unsurprisingly recently, someone called the ACLU to sue to have it removed forever. Guess what! the Cranston school committee voted 4-3 to tell the ACLU to shove it. The prayer stays!

You know it's a sad day in sports when the biggest news out of the NFL is Tom Brady's new hair-do. What 's next, Brady on Jersey Shore? God what a disturbing mess this world has become.

Weddings at McDonalds in Hong Kong are hot! Apparently poeple are lining up to say "I do" amidst the aromas of mustard and pickles and excitement of fries sizzling in the fry-o-lator. Does Ronald McD perform the service?

The Answer:
1. The little sub shop that began in a below street level store in the Yale area of New Haven has passed Micky D's as the worlds largest "restaurant" chain -- 33,749 to 32,737 locations. Personally, I think Subway is a rip-off. 2. Dicks passed Sports Authority a couple of years ago. Interestingly, these two giants in sports are but numbers 193 and 247 on the overall list of largest retailers. Other large sports retailers are Gart, Academy, Big 5, Galyans, Mosells, Olympic. I spent half my youth hungrily walking the aisles of local sports stores, all locally owned at the time. I could write a novella about those wide eyed days.

The Obese Ending:
As a Red Sox fan I had to love the WikiLeaks revelation about a US diplomat calling Ahmadinejad "The Steinbrenner of Iran"!

You know you have come to a bad place by the number of used gum spots on the floor. Get me outta here.

Sometimes doing nothing is the only solution, especially when doing something that doesn't really need to be done costs money.

Eat anything you want and love it. Today is your day.