What to do. What to do.

Today's Tids Issue # 2,330

Opening Stuff:

As the debt mounts every day and the deficit clock continues click away to the point when creditors stop lending or rapidly increase interest, Congress has come up with a new plan. They'll all gather in a large dark room and repeat 100 times, "It will go away." It will go away..."

As Libya enters it's annual insect infestation season, citizens rejoice over the new "No Fly" zone.

The Question: 
People often wonder about what to do about their jobs/careers. Give me Ten signs that it is time to quit your job.

The Headlines:

--March Jobs Addition Number, 201K Meets Expectations; Feb Number Revised Downward To 208K.
--Stocks Rise On Data And M&A Activity.
--NASA Sends Back First Photo Of Mercury. http://www.space.com/11254-nasa-photos-mercury-orbit-messenger-spacecraft.html
--Libyan Rebels Retreat.
--Japan Nuke Dangers Rise.
--House Kills Obama's Ill Fated Foreclosure Rescue Plan; Left And Right Have Criticized The Plan As being Ineffective And Too Costly.
--Economists Worry That Nations With Strong Economies (China, India) Are Improving Too Fast And Weaker Economies (US) Too Slow.
--Ariz Gov Brewer Signs Into Law First Bill In Nation Banning Abortions Because Of Race Or Gender Of Fetus; Ban Prohibits Parents From Using Abortion As "Selection" Aid.

Back to More Stuff:
Have we forgotten the masses of Japanese dead and suffering and the devastated cities as the ADD news media turns its attention to the sexier nuke story? I haven't

Woman's Final Four looks good. UConn overwhelmed Duke on the way to what could be the second three consecutive championship run in the last 9 years. Baylor's loss was a big surprise, making Texas A&M the potential upset king...queen. Baylor has everybody coming back and could go into 2012 as #1. I love the guard play of Notre Dame. Stanford, the only team to beat UConn, could meet again for the championship. Great scripting here.

The powerful Eastern teams were shut out of the "Frozen Four", with mighty New Hampshire the last of the east bowing out in the eight. Much of the country overlooks the NCAA hockey championships, but they are among the most exciting.

Almost There: Chapter 13 continues. --Audrey turned serious and put on her reporter hat. "I went to the files and found what I thought I remembered. The Quimpierre disappearance was actually a fairly popular event about a year ago. You know, one day they are a family living on a street, coming and going. Taking kids to sports events. Occasionally going to church. Having people, over for cookouts. Then one day nobody sees them. Just like that, gone with no word of where they went."
"Family?" Tucker asked.
Audrey shuffled a couple of papers. "Yup, kids about 13 and 14. Two girls." Tucker nodded for her to continue. "There were a lot of interviews with neighbors and friends of Rudy. His friends, male and female, always wondered how he snagged a beautiful, well educated intelligent woman like Samantha. Rudy apparently had a wild childhood and ran with a pretty tough crowd before he became a "model" citizen.
"I met her alone. No husband. No 13 and 14 year old girls. Maybe I have helped you stumble on a book possibility that will make you famous!"
She smiled, "I looked you up on the web and found that you are a pretty good writer yourself." Audrey seemed very comfortable with this stranger.

Something must be going on because one by one NFL Team owners are coming forward saying "There will be a football Season this year." Bud Adams and Arthur Blank are the latest two. They must know something.

If chanting doesn't work, Congress people are expected to don Ruby Red Shoes, close their eyes and click there heels together three times. Yup that should do it. Talk about no heart, no courage and no brain!

My brother -in-law and I played golf with a couple yesterday. The woman said her name was Ruth, but she hated her name so she said, "You can call me Charlie." Golf is better when the atmosphere is relaxed.

The Boston Red Sox have just announced that the name for their new spring training stadium to open next year will be Jet Blue. For me it is much too close to the blasphemous Jet Green.

The Answer:
1. You aren't learning anything new. 2. You never (Rarely) have a day when you wake up excited to go to work. 3. You spend the majority of the time web surfing. 4. You don't like your co-workers. 5. Too little money to pay bills. 6. You spend time looking for other jobs. 7. You haven't had a raise in two years. 8. The boss sucks. 9. The company isn't doing well. 10. You are always stressed.
I would add that you hate the politics, you're stuck in a quagmire and the job doesn't allow you to maximize your personal strengths.

The End:
Jan Brewer for President.

I still can't figure out why I picked the name Audrey for my newest character in Almost Near.

This just in: The entire Congress has voted to resign on mass and leave the deficit problem to successor solons named by Governors.

A "Green" Week that counts.

Today's Tids Issue #2,319

Opening Stuff:

Are you ready? Yup it is that time of year when you will be bombarded for the next five days or so of every corned beef recipe or variation known to man. Corned beef, the most overated food in the history of mankind. Do you know how hard it is to make Corned beef gravy?

I was watching the St. Pat's parade Saturday. After a nice start there was this 5-8 minute gap. People wondered if it was to be the shortest parade in history. But in the distance we saw a banner followed by a convertible, plodding forward. Inch by inch. Finally the car arrived and we saw which parade participant was holding up the show. The sign on the car said "Naples St. Patricks Day "Planning Committee"! Humorously, just behind the organizing group was a bunch of Knights of Columbus geezers imploring,"Step on the God damned gas. Move your ass." So much for a kinder and gentler America.

Flubber is my new nickname for Christine Bachman. Beauty queens should never be allowed to stray from the script.

For all of you "Almost Near" lovers who may have shut down their computers for the weekend, The Saturday "Mea Culpa" edition had the latest chapter in this terrifying saga of a woman who is losing her mind while finding she has several others she didn't know about.

The Question:
In "the things you know but don't know where they come from" department, name the songs written by Hugh Martin who died yesterday?

The Headlines:

--Millions In Japan Struggle With Quakes Aftermath; Tide Brings In Thousands of Bodies.
--Massive Sell-off Pulls $287 Billion Out Of Japanese Stock Market; US Futures Lower On Nervousness.
--Indian Navy Captures 61 Somalian Pirates.
--Buffet Squeezes Itchy Trigger Finger To Buy Lubrizol For $ Billion.
--Second Blast Rocks Stricken Japanese Nuke Plant; Engineers Say Radiation Levels Still Within Safety Margins.
--Passengers Contradict Bus Driver In Ghastly NYC Crash.
--Daffy Forces Retake Libyan Stronghold.

Back to More Stuff:
And...we could name Huckabee "Gaffer". The problem is, that unlike Bachman, the Huckster is a legitimate candidate whose comments recently eluded the facts. Personally I like Huckabee, an apparently honest man with a good moral basis who in fact was invariably the best of the lot in Republican debates. Unfortunately, unless you are a democrat, once you have transgressed into the gaff column, the media will never let you out -- regardless of whether or not it was a simple mistake.

The nuclear issues associated with the earthquake in Japan will sideline the comeback in confidence for the much needed, very efficient nuclear power genration for at least another ten years.

Heard recently at a meeting of Cultural Addictions Anonymous: "Hi, I'm The Media and I'm addicted to Charlie Sheen."

I liked Dilbert's comment on business illogical rational in yesterday's Funny Pages (As I used to call them), "Teamwork means you can't pick the side that is right."

Which brings me to a little item about college football expert, and former The Ohio State Buckeye, Kirk Herbstreit. Kirk just moved from Ohio to Tennessee because the Buckeye faithful "Don't want to hear anything negative about their teams." It was getting tough for Herb to continue living because telling the truth as all good commentators should do didn't sit well with some of the mental institution bound fans. Fans who want to be blinded with false hope. Sport is supposed to be a release from daily pressures. An outlet. Yet many have made it a religion. I guess this isn't surprising in Buckeye land, where they insist on using the precious "The" before the name Ohio State U. This is a story that can be told in colleges towns around the country.

This NFL mess is coming down to who can appear to be the most fan friendly, when neither side could care less.

I always get a kick out of people who say "But...I don't like the fishy taste." And, then stand for hours to get into restaurant's that serve the blandest of farm raised or former junk fish. All basically tasteless. It's like they've heard seafood is healthy and they look for the least objectionable way to take their medicine.

Almost Near: Chapter 11 Continues. --"I'm sure you know this," Martha started, "But, after you left I never really saw much of your parents. To be honest with you, as much as your father was always friendly towards me, your mother was equally as distant. She seemed sad. Then one day, a couple of years after I was married, a "For Sale" sign went up on your home. Of course I got very excited..."
Martha's new ramble started to drift into the background as Samantha tried to resurrect memories of these parents she didn't remember. But she recalled nothing. Though as Martha talked, she sensed something about her past. She emerged from her thoughts to hear the droning of Martha who was now talking about a funny incident at the closing. Samantha smiled at her as she heard, "I was hoping your parents would have been at the closing, but their lawyer representative said he didn't know where they were." He said they just sent him all of the information with no return address, but with a bank acocunt number for electronic depositing of the funds.
"Do you remember the name of the lawyer?"
"Why sure, it was Dante Wallowitz. Remember him! Mr. Cutie, senior when we were freshmen in High school!" Then Martha rolled her eyes like she would have as a teen when a boy walked by.

In a discussion about Obama under the headline, "On high profile issues, Obama keeps a low profile" it was noted, "...But the White House sees no upside in outspokeness." How about leadership?

The celebrity can always get a free cup of coffee, using his Star bucks.

Sports Shorts: --I can't get enough of those reports on the iditerod. --They have built a very good NBA team in Chicago. Rose is very talented and the supporting cast has great chemistry. Noah is much better than anticipated. Works hard. --The Big East with 11, will have to prove themselves or look really bad like the Big Ten has recently. Of course the Big Ten with 7 will have some proving to do too.

And now...the much anticipated "Tids Final Four"!: The OSU, UConn, Notre Dame, Florida. Final Two OSU-Fla.

The Answer:
Hugh Martin wrote some of the best songs I have heard, including several for Judy Garland in the Movie "Meet Me in Saint Louis." (Remember when people would want ot meet in St. Louis?) Some of his best are "The Trolly Song" (Clang Clang Clang goes the trolly; Thump, Thump Thump goes my heart.), "The Boy Next Door", "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas",and "Buckle Down Winsocki (Til this very moment, I always thought the song was "Buckle Down Woonsocket!). He also write the music and sometimes the lyrics for five Broadway musicals: Look Ma I'm Dancin', Best Foot forward (Starring Lucille Ball), Make A Wish and High Spirits. He won Oscars for The Trolley Song and Pass the Peacepipe. He was regarded by insiders as be right there with the best and in fact in his early career he arranged the music of Rogers and Hart and Cole Porter among others.

The End:

You just can't buy much for a couple of hundred million any more.

Instead of Government grants going to professors examining the sex habits of garden slugs and aphids, how about researching where not to build nuclear power plants.