The Illusionists.

Today's Tids Issue 2,951

Opening Stuff:

 

I think the reason that everything you don't know can be promoted as can't miss desirable, is because of the knowledge that with a majority of people there is an element of dissatisfaction with what they've got.

 

I am really tired if the phrase, "...is the new..." as in The Tids is the new NY times, or , for God sakes, "Orange is the new black"...whatever that means.

 

As you can see, this Tids is an almalgom. There is no date. So pick your lucky day and maybe this Tids will match it.

 

With the the escalating costs of books in airports, I've taken to reading T-Shirts. It's a novel of humanity.

 

The Question:

Why was Louis Armstrong called Satchmo?

 

The Headlines:

--Bank Of America Found Guilty Of Fraud.

--German Spying Revelations Deepens Distrust Of US By Europeans.

--More And More Americans Are Seeing Potential For Devastating Consequences From ObamaCare.

--Prince George Baptized.

--Congressional Dems Growing Uneasy About Healthcare.

--Microsoft, Amazon Buck Trend Of Flat Earnings Hurting Big Company Stocks.

 

Did you see where a mother of an H S football player accused the opposing coach of bullying because her baby's team lost 92-0? The winning team has only beat all comers by an average of 69 points and in the case of this game, the opposing coach took out the starters after 21 plays. Message to Mom -- tell your kid to play harder. Parents can be a danger to American sport.

 

Pick 'em Time, Department:

A mediocre 8-6 brings the Tids Sports department to a less than exciting 68-37. You obviously misssed the fact that I picked Carolina in the Tursday Game. Take my word for it, we're 1-0 (The TSD is not PBO).  Ok, let's Go. The Pack is just getting better and Minn is on yet abiother QB. GB. I have to go with my Pats, who looked dreadful last week, at home  over Miami. Now, it's Dallas in a tough one over Detroit and SF in an easy win overe Jax. I like Philly to send the Giants back into the loss column. I have to stay with KC over Cleve, another team with yet a new QB...and I see a tough Bills team losing a squeaker (Again) agains NO (Maybe I was brainwashed this week there). Cinny "D" is strong and I see tem outlasting a pershickety Jets team. In that battle of the "A's" I'm taking Arizona over Atlanta, and even though away, Seattle is too good of a team to lose to yet another QB depleated team SL. Pitt is looking much stronger these days, so they should handle Oakland. Denver has shown defensive weakness all year long. Can RG III exploit it? I'm saying yes. The upset of the week is a Skins win.

 

Do you know what I never want to be? I don't ever want to be one of those passengers who has to applaud the pilot for narrowly avoiding disaster.

 

The main reason I like Casinos is that ir gives you a chance to sit down for a few minutes.

 

I can easily see why New Orleans people are happy living in their beautiful city. I could enjoy it too, except for those infamous six months of humidity and...Gumbo.

 

Subway can't hold a candle to Quiznos, and neither of them are in the same enighborhood as New England sandwich chain D'Angelos.

 

The wonderful World War II Museum in New Orleans moves you you. Informs you and tells you a lot about the ugliness of war that nobody really understands except those who have been there. This is a marvelous place. One of the best Museums I have ever seeb.

 

Reading Betwen the Lines Movie Reviews:

--The Counsellor is loaded with stars with an elite writer who sends H-Wood into Orgasmic Rapture, but this conveoluted tale of the drug business on the Mexican boarder is a waste of talent and your time, with lots of put-you-to-sleep preachy dialogue.

--Bad Grandpa is about a terrible grandfather who takes his 10 yo grandson aon as road trip. It will make you laugh, but you will feel guilty you did at this dispiclable depiction of the lowest from of human behavior. Hollywood is seeking a new low with this one.

 

The Answer:

Many people think the great trumpet player and singer was called Satchmo because of a mouth deformity called Satchel Mouth. It was though, because as as a kid his mom was always shouting, "Shut-yo-mouth"! This is true and authenticated, folks.

 

The difference is that in New Orleans they call fried dough "beignets" and in RI they calal it Iggy's Dough boys. See what a little French can do for your image.

 

Maybe I'll be back Monday...and then maybe not.