1st and 20.

Today's Tids Issue 3,400 (Yikes!)

Opening Stuff:

There is little tha’s more relaxing than husking corn in the fading sunlight of a cool August evening; the seagulls squawking with one eye on your food and the other on possible competitors. It seems like a time when man’s machines stop humming and God’s world manifests an inherent beauty that’s even beyond the imagination of the most imaginative poet.

It was disturbing to read that ISIS had used mustard gas on the Kurds in a battle yesterday. First, it reinforces what pragmatists have always thought; this is an enemy unlike any enemy in recent mankind. The UN is useless. Laws about war are useless. Reason is irrelevant. Everything we know about war strategy is passé except the word “kill”. Mustard gas! It’s like knowing that great whites are feeding off the beach.

Last night I felt major heart palpations as I watched Tom Brady and the team of red, white and blue jog onto the field. Football is back and my body is ramped up. Yup, last night was ten first game of the twenty before the playoffs

The Question:

Kelley Blue Book has listed the Top Ten Coolest cars for under $18K. What do you think they are.

The Headlines:

--Gore Supporters Investigating Possibility Of Race Against Hillary.

--Judge Orders State Department To Comply On Hillary Servers And Emails.

--Russia Says US Should Drop Europe Missile Shield Plan After Iran Deal.

--Alabama and Louisiana End Medicaid Payments To Planned Parenthood; Feds Say States Could Be Prosecuted.

--Cape Cod’s Nauset And Coast Guard Beaches Closed After Great White Mauls Seals 30 Yards Off Shore.

--“Godzilla” Of El-Nino’s Predicted For Winter; Usually, Large El-Nino Helps Economy And Reduces Hurricanes.

--Former IRS Exec Lerner’s Emails Calls Repubs Evil And Dishonest; Bias In IRS Is Anti-American.

Did you ever reach into your pocket for a push button, free-from-your-friendly-banker pen only to find in 4-7 pieces? Did you ever try to put it back together and find that it must be missing one part because it doesn’t work at all. Well, this morning I found a pen in pieces and after finding one additional tiny part in the bottom of my pocket, I put it back together and it clicked just like always. Now that my friends is what would call the start of a good day.

Occasionally I remind people exactly what the Tids is actually doing when interrupting their days. Basically it is enigmatic, eccentric and excrutiating at times. It tries to fulfill dreams and support those encumbered by the wrath of a nanny society and suffocating trends. It encourages love and romance; eating food you like as opposed what conflicting research says is good for you. The Tids is about tongue-in-cheek humorous descriptions of those who take themselves too seriously. It’s about being kind and gracious and considerate of others. It’s about fun and news and sports and entertainment; their triumphs and incongruities. The Tids just wants people to feel good about each other, while pointing out the evils of divisiveness. Some days it’s pretty good and on others it just doesn’t seem to make it. But it is always there for your consideration, and on every day I hope there is at least one small piece of information that strikes home for you – makes you laugh, shed a tear or move your heart.

I have a reader who often wonders where I come up with some of the words I use. Frankly, I just type out something that sounds relevant, and if Spell Check doesn’t refute it, I keep it.

While Kerry is in Havana play kissy-face with the Castros, there are thousands of Cubans feeling that as salt poured on the wounds inflicted by those ruthless communist dictators confiscating their lives, accomplishments and dreams.

I was in a Chipotle Grill for the first time two days ago. I walked in and looked around and I’m thinking, “This is a $700/share business?” Yikes. There was nothing there, but then that may be the key. How can you have a food waste problem with less than a dozen ingredients which are all interchangeable in a variety of similar offerings with different names?

One of the things you have to do when writing about the world every day is create marauding monsters, dragons to slay. So the answer is no, I don’t hate everything.

And get this: Castro is asking the USA to pay him millions because of what was lost during the embargo. Talk about gonads. You can bet that some group in the US will form to raise the money to aid the men who vanquished hope for millions..

The good news is that maybe illegal immigrants will stream over to Cuba.

Uh-Oh…there goes RI Governor Raimondo’s economic plan. The state Poet just resigned and moved to Santa Barbara. What could be worse than to lose our verse.

I hope I don’t have to play in a foursome where one player is wearing a Free Trump: “Make America Great Again: golf hat. What would I do for jokes. Hey Buddy, your swing is “terrific!”

A congregation form the “Healing Chuch” in West Greenwich RI is going to walk the four hundred miles to Washington DC. Their aim is to get fellow former pot smokers, the Pope and the Prez, to join them in their Cannabis communion wafers. God Bless America.

The Parking Lot: Chapter Ten.

   Jeremiah Hicks rode his large brown horse southeast from his father’s lands through the well traveled trails of western Plymouth Colony, which was comprised of today’s Bristol, Warren, Tiverton and Little Compton RI. Jeremiah, now a strong 15 years of age was comfortable in these Indian territories, as he had been taught well by his father Richard, who learned as a boy from Squanto.

   On the way south the day in August of 1671 to the Wampanoag summer settlement of Fogland in Tiverton on the big bay named Sakonnet, Jeremiah was dreaming of the beautiful daughter of the third son of Massasoit. As he neared, several of the tribe were seen walking, and all acknowledge him, as a friend of the tribe. His father was certainly respected as a trader and their lands grew as the Indians gained trust. The family’s biggest problem now was the elders back in the Plymouth Colony who were placing more restrictions on their Indian “friends”.

   Just over the hill, he came upon the temporary housing of the tribe nestled below the rich fertile hills of Tiverton and the bountiful waters of the bay. He was admiring the peaceful, yet energetic scene when he heard what he was hoping for, “Jeremiah, Jerimiah!” He turned to see the dark haired, graceful Mosetta, who like most of Massasoiett’s tribe had Anglicized names too. She was Elizabeth, and his beautiful Elizabeth was running towards him smiling. His young heart started pounding and he felt a warm glow. He looked around to see if red face of the white man was noticed. Within seconds he was swinging himself off the horse and running towards her. But, like always he stopped short of enveloping her in his arms, as the curious and conservative elders looked their way. The two were eager but now all they could do was look deeply into each other’s eyes.

Reading between the Lines Movie Reviews:

--The big promotional movie of the week, The Man From U.N.C.L.E. is getting tepid reviews. But as must see TV in the 60’s I am inclined to go, though I may not like the apparent superficially you of the characters. It’s your basic USA-Russia spy conflict movie with a touch of chic.

--Straight Outta Compton is a bio-pic of the rise and fall of the singing group NWA. It tells the story of four boys in the brutal, mean streets of this very dangerous LA area in the eighties. Has some good moments, but not an upper.

--In Mistress America, a lonely, uninspired college freshman in NYC is seduced by her adventurous soon-to-be step sister into a romp around the big city that changes the way she looks at life and herself.

The Answer:

The 10 coolest reasonably 2015 priced cars are at #10 -- Fiat 500 followed by the Subaru Impreza, Chevy Sonic, Honda Fit, Ford Fiesta, Honda Civic, Jeep Renegade, Kia Soul and Volkswagen Golf. The coolest of them all for the price is…is…is…The Mazda 3!

As I was writing the meeting between Jeremiah Hicks and Elizabeth, I was thinking how great it would be to have Puccini orchestrate the movie version. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTkTObFQ_40

Have a great weekend, E-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y!