It’s a parsing world.

Today's Tids Issue 4,181

Where there's smoke there's fire:

One of the scariest stories I have read in a long while is the one this morning about Greek vacationers being trapped on beaches by a sudden out of control fire. Through the eyes of survivors, I felt their panic and hopelessness, their tears, as they watched friends and strangers alike drown or burned. The heartache today is for the survivors who must live with their new horror, and the families of those who had to endure a terrifying death. Sorry for a start like this, but that is what I felt most this morning when I scanned the news.

Last week it was “would, wouldn’t”. This morning it is “do, don’t” (Pay cash). The survival of the American presidency is relying on “n’t”.

As you all know spotting trends is a specialty of the Tids Editorial department. This includes in depth articles preceding the national mad rush for Cheetos. Now I’m seeing an entirely different choice spectrum which will be based on new era products like Peach Butter, Apricot Mayo and Plum Honey. I personally may be avoiding some contemporary eateries where audacious chefs bathe designer tempura fried squash blossoms in these nectar condiments. Adventurous is not my middle name but look for the innovative spirit if you like it -- and enjoy.

Frankly, cable news blasts and scurrilous revelations tend to fade quickly from my overloaded mind as my eyes look forward to the beginning of NFL practice – tomorrow. I love the magnificent plays, the tension in my gut and the jubilation of a last second come from behind victory, hard fought. That’s all that counts when weekend escapism lulls the angst from overwrought hyperbole, powerbroker clutter.

Plugging your computer keyboard into your Hi-Fi system is called stereotyping.

The Question:

Name the Top Ten celebrities on the current precipitous fall from grace list.

The Headlines:

--Cohan/Trump Tape All Over Morning Radio And TV; Giuliani Scrambling To Minimize Effects.

--Stocks Treading Water Before Meeting Between Trump And EU Chief Jean-Claude Junker.

--Tariff Inflated Metal Prices Sink GM Profits; Boeing Warns That Higher Costs Will Affect Profitability; Steel Workers Like Increased Activity In US Mills.

--All About taxes: Texas And Florida Gaining Most Move Ins; West Virginia And Illinois Have Most Moving Out.

--Ivanka Trump Clothes Shop Closed.

--Pop Singer Demi Lovato Long Drug Battle Loses Out To Overdose; Tormented Star Found Unconscious Now Recovering In LA Hospital.

--Californian Wins Giant $522 Million Mega Millions Pot.

--Rivals Space-X and Arianespace Launch Rockets Into Orbit Within Minutes Of Each Other.

--Bronfman (Seagram’s Liquor) Heiress Clare Arraigned In Brooklyn Court For Funding Illicit Sex Island 6 Others Arrested In Nxivm Cult Trafficking Case..

--FBI Joins Search For Iowa Jogger Mollie Tibbetts, Now Missing For A Week.

There are just so many sex tapes which delaying tactics can out last.

Bailouts are poison in a capitalist economy, Department:

Like any good republican, US Farmers don’t want a bailout from The Trumpster. They just want to do it themselves in a fair marketplace, which means no tariffs – big government intervention. Or, are these farmer safety nets called baleouts?

No composer has produced more melodies that live forever than JS Bach.

Typically, employees dismissed or resigning from a job lose all ability to re-enter buildings and computer files. So, taking away security clearances from retired or dismissed intelligence officers to safeguard security is probably pretty normal, if it was in the private sector. Except in this case, if done, the President would create a class of leftist martyrs.

The 130-year-old Katz Deli in the lower East Side of Manhattan NY became its slogan during WWII: “Send a salami to a guy in the Army.” They still do it today. There are lots of little things done every day outside of big government that silently contribute to the betterment of many.

Pondering Department:

A dozen, a gross, and a score

Plus three times the square root of four

Divided by seven

Plus five times eleven

Is nine squared and not a bit more.

See, all limericks don’t begin with Nantucket. Thanks to a brainy reader for that one. Check it out on your slide rule.

The Answer:

Number one, is Harvey – Weinstein. Next is Kevin Spacey, followed by Matt Lauer, Louis CK, James Tobak, Morrissey (HW and KS Lawyer), Kathy Griffin, PewDiePie, Ivanka Trump and Twiggy Ramirez. The nest five are Ben Affleck, Kevon Hart, Quentin Tarantino, Usher and George Takei. Fro m what I read about Ivanka, it appears she made her list by being swept up in the  rampant hatred against her father.

Oh, did I say that? It must have been a typo. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. No parsing in the Tids.