Everything is possible.

 

Today's Tids Issue 4,941

People are still people:

 

How sweet it is! Today is National Almond Buttercrunch Day”! Buttercrunch sounds like concerto to me.

 

“Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.” –Mystery Comic.

 

With all of today’s technology, I believe it is impossible to exclude anything, even ideas that may seem totally out of this world crazy.  Having a open mind is almost a survival instinct in these new times.

 

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

 

The Question:

What late night comedian always said, “I kid you not.” Hint: If you know this answer, you are not young. I don’t have to admit your age by answering! Note: Quotes sprinkled throughout today’s mess will be attributed to mystery comedian, the named revealed in The Answer.

 

The Headlines:

--Dow Bouncing Back, Nasdaq Drifting; UBS Cuts Target For Tesla, Citing Competitive Pressures; Goldman Ups GE.

--China And Iran Forms “Pragmatic” Anti-US Partnership According To Reports.

--US Troops In Syria Come Under Attack Following US Air Strikes.

--West Coast Continues To Sweat.

--New Information Arriving That Shows More Warnings About Possible Problems With Collapsed Miami Building; Rescue Worker Falls 25 Feet Into Chasm.

--Justic Thomas Says Maybe Fed Laws Against Marijuana No Longer Necessary.

--Latest Jeopardy Guest Host Gupta Gets Solid Marks.

 

“My personality isn’t split, it’s shredded.” –Mystery Comic

 

A local wag who was a former military helicopter pilot has an idea about what is causing all of these recent UFO sightings. he thinks they are the result of laser generated images sent from adversarial satellites (Or perhaps even practice shots from US installations for practice.) He sees it as a war time diversionary tactic. A foe shoots an image from its satellite towards a US fleet at sea or land based military installation which would scramble the US air defense. As all eyes are diverted, the foe attacks another unguarded military placement. He said he got the idea watching his cat chase a laser pointer. I think it has merit!

 

Senator Romney says, “I take Biden at his word,” after he walked back veto (On Infrastructure) threat. I thought it was odd as hell that a mere two hours after showing such glee at the announcement of an agreement, he tried to extort the Repubs. Maybe he just has a short-term memory problem and a big heart after all. Or maybe worse, he is just another GD politician.

 

Hollywood is a nice place to die, but I wouldn’t want to live there.”

 

The “Pragmatic” in the Iran/China Anti US headline means that Beijing is quite reluctant to get in bed with Teheran, but they will use each other’s resources to monitor and restrain the USA.

 

The Miami collapsed Condo owners were facing assessments totaling $15 Million. Maybe that is one big reason why improvements were postponed.

 

“It’s impossible to dislike me because I do nothing.” --Mystery Comic

 

The Answer:

It was Jack Paar who always said, “I kid you not”. It was during his late-night reign from 1957 to 1962. Maybe these quotes will give you all an idea of what was being talked about in those years. Yes, human emotions were pretty much the same. We just didn’t digitize them.

 

“Randy and I were goggle-eyed as we gazed over the wonders of what Walt Disney had wrought (The development of Disney Land). It was a magnificent demonstration of what God could do if He had more imagination.” –Jack Paar

 

“To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.” –Jack Paar.